Hello, everyone! Okay, the reason this story was originally pulled was because it was in script format. But it has been edited! YAY! However there will be a few changes, which will become apparent as you read. And now, the new and improved (drumroll)...SURVIVOR TORTUGA!

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with the producers of Survivor, any creators of the characters mentioned, and I am not affiliated with any people, places, organizations, companies, etc. mentioned in this fic. This applies to all chapters.

Picture this: a beautiful island full of majestic mountains and gorgeous jungles. Beautiful beaches and red firy sunsets. We are now about to see a group of complete strangers survive both the elements and each other as they compete for the million dollar prize and the title of Sole Survivor. And now, I introduce you to your host, Commodore John Norrington, from Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl!

“Hello, I am Commodore Norrington. I'm sure you're wondering: Why isn't Jeff Probst hosting? Well, he is currently...um...on vacation.”

In a dark corner of the ship taking the castaways to the island, is Mister Jeff Probst, tied up in a dark corner, mumbling for help.

“Don't think of it as torture, Jeff! Think of it as a vacation! Anyhow, being as he is unable to host, and being I give off a somewhat authoritative air, I will be hosting, and now, I will introduce our castaways: Jack Sparrow, the rowdiest pirate who ever sacked the Spanish main, and the sexiest pirate in motion picture history, Erik, aka The Phantom of the Opera, a musical genius who is out to prove that he is not an insane masked murderer, but a team player, Kim Possible, the fifteen year old who can do anything, Galinda, the blonde from Wicked that we all know and love, Dickie Roberts, a struggling former child star who could very well become famous again on this show, Little Orphan Annie, a little girl who loves bright, uplifting, and rather annoying songs, Edward Scissorhands, a misunderstood misfit with a gift for hedge trimming, Ella of Frell, obedient but not afraid to speak her mind, Willy Wonka, who is semi-sweet and a little nuts, Regina George, hey, every season needs a major bitch, right, Shaggy, who came here to help himself gain some confidence and get rid of his dependency of Scooby Snacks, Hermione Granger, top student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Donkey, who has taken the position of annoying talking animal, Pim Diffy, cute but evil, Jasmine, Princess of Agrabah, Spongebob Squarepants, a yellow cube with holes, Patrick Star, aka the perfect Christmas Tree topper, Jack Skellington, who is Mister unlucky to guys in Kentucky, Sally Finklestein, an expert in poisoning scientists who resemble angry ducks, The Fairy Godmother, grants any wish, as long as you don't stay out past midnight, Bree Van De Kamp, the obsessive compulsive redhead of Wisteria Lane, and Napolean Dynamite, well, GOSH! We had to get him on here!”

The ship pulls onto the island of Tortuga, home of pillaging and plundering pirates, as well as the setting of a very familiar movie.

“Alright, we will now select tribes. The two tribe names are Simba and Nala. Nala, you will be wearing red buffs, Simba,you will wear green. All Simba members will stand by that palm tree to the left. All Nala members will go to the rock to the right. Erik?”

“Yes?”

“Congratulations, you are the first member of the Simba tribe!”, said Commodore Norrington as he passed Erik a green buff. Erik, with the dramatic swish of his cape, ran over to the palm tree.

“ Jack Skellington, congratulations, you are the first member of the Nala tribe!” Said Norrington as he handed him a red buff.

“Hey, this'll go great with my Sandy Claws costume!”, cried Jack triumphantly.

“Jasmine, you are the second member of the Simba tribe. Please join Erik”

Jasmine gracefully walked over to the palm tree. She then shook hands with Erik, as it was only polite to do.

“Sally, please join Jack, by the rock.”

“YAY!” Sally screamed as she ran up to Jack and gave him a hug. A very tight one. Being that he was already dead, she didn't have to worry about cutting off his air supply.

“Spongebob, please join Erik and Jasmine.”

“YAY! I'm ready! I'm ready!” cheered Spongebob as he skipped over to the palm tree.

“Patrick, you are now a member of the Nala tribe.”

“You mean...I can't be with Spongebob?”, said Patrick, as he made the puppy face.

“I'm sorry about that, but no, you don't get to be with Spongebob, unless you make it to the merge.”

“Aww man!” moaned Patrick as he shuffled to the rock.

“Hermione, please join the Simba tribe.”

“I will, for I am confident in my abilities to successfully succeed!”

“Isn't that something I've said?”, asked Spongebob.

“Yes.” said Hermione. “ I just like saying it. Makes me sound like even more of a genius then I already am.”

“Genius...really?” said Erik, trying to make conversation. “ You know, I'm a genius myself...”

“Can we cut the smalltalk and get back to the sorting?” asked Norrington. “Alright, Dickie, please join the Nala tribe.”

As Dickie went to the rock to greet his tribemates, Patrick, in his stupidity, mockingly shouted,” HAHA! You're name's Dickie!”

“Shut up”, replied Dickie bitterly.

“Shaggy, please join the Simba tribe.”

“Like, alright, man!” said Shaggy as he shuffled over to the palm tree.

“Napolean, you are now a member of the Nala tribe.”

“Sweet! this game is gonna friggin rock!”

“Aren't you named after a French emperor?”, inquired Dickie.

“The hell I am! GOSH! FRIGGIN IDIOT!”

“Galinda, please join the Simba tribe.”

“WOW! You, like, said my name right!”, she squeeled as she strutted over to her tribemates.

“Donkey, you are now a member of the Simba tribe.”

“Alright, time to kick some Nala ass!” shouted Donkey triumphantly as he danced over to the palm tree.

“Annie, please join your tribemates over by the rock.”

“YAY! I CAN ENTERTAIN MY TRIBEMATES WITH BRIGHT UPLIFTING SHOWTUNES!”

“Willy, please join your tribemates by the palm tree.”

“Gosh, I'm glad to be hear! Here's an everlasting-gobstopper as a token of how thrilled I am to be here!”

“Uh...thanks...”

“Gosh! Gosh is my word!” shouted Napolean.

“Shut up, carrot top!” shouted Erik back.

“Thanks!” Said Willy.

“No problemo.”, replied Erik.

“Pim, go join the Nala tribe.”

“YAY! More people to plot evil against!”

“Fairy Godmother, go join the Simba tribe.”

“Alright! Bibbity bobbity boo!”. She said as she flicked her wand, causing her to vanish then reappear by her tribemates.

“Regina, go over to the rock.”

“Fine, even though my shoes are Gucci and they'll be ruined!”, she muttered as she strutted over to the rock.

“I like your style.” said Pim.

“Thanks! I go for the preppy cheerleader look.”

“No, I mean the way you manipulate people! It's awesome!”

“Kim, go over to the palm tree.”

“YAY!” cried Kim as she cartwheeled to her tribemates.

“Bree, go over to the rock.”

“Yes, a chance to outshine everyone else once more.”

“Jack Sparrow, you are the last member of the Simba tribe.”

“Aye.” said Jack as he stumbled to the Simba tribe, clearly under the influence of rum.

“Ella, please join the Nala tribe.” siad Norrington, as Ella made the whoosh noise and wnet over to her tribemates.

“Edward, you are the last member of the Nala tribe. Alright you will be out here with nothing but the clothed on your backs and only the Simba tribe will get a machete, seeing as the Nala tribe has Edward.”

“Why! I never...”

“Your fist challenge, as tribemates, is to go out into the local village on the island with only 50 Bahamian dollars and anything you are willing to barter, and get as many supplies for your camp as you can get. You will have two hours to accomplish this. And...GO!”

Both tribes ran to their canoes and paddled furiously to the local village on Tortuga island.

o.0.o

The Simba tribe wasted no time, for they immediately started how they would divide the money and what they would barter.

“ Well, I guess I could give up a few fudgemallow whipple delights...”contributed Willy.

“Mate, why do ya always carry candy around?” questioned Jack.

“I'm a candy man. It's what I do.”

“ I have a few books I could part with...” sighed Hermione.

“ Like, why do you always, like,carry books around?” asked Galinda.

“It's a shame Commodore Norrington took my wand away”, lamented the Fairy Godmother.”Otherwise, I could have zapped up more money.”

“Even with your wand, that would be counterfeiting.” said Kim.

“Which is generally frowned upon in most societies.” added Willy.

“Why the fuck would anyone want to counterfeit?” asked Donkey.

“Because people are psychos.” answered Kim.

“ I could granted three wishes for some stuff.” suggested Jasmine.

“ But you're, like, not a genie.” said Shaggy.

“Who cares! I'm rich! I can grant basically any wish!”

“Less talking, more bartering!” said Erik.

“Alright! I'm ready! I'm ready!” shouted Spongebob as he ran off grinning like an idiot.

o.0.o

The Nala tribe also wasted no time in planning their purchases.

“I say we break into their homes and force them to give us food!”said Pim.

“ I say we get Sandy Claws to give presents to anyone who donates things to us.” suggested Jack.

“Sally then chided, “ I say we buy everything fair and square.”

“ I agree.” said Bree.

“Square...Spongebob!” cried Patrick.

“Aww...there, there...”consoled Ella.

“Shut uo!' yelled Regina, and being she had no choice, Ella obeyed.

“Gosh, why can't we just barter our clothes! GOSH!”

“ I can negotiate, but I can't carry anything, for obvious reasons...” lamented Edward, lifting up his hands.

“ I say we just converse with them like civilized ladies and gentlemen.” suggested Bree, as Patrick fainted.

“ OH MY GOD! YOU MADE PATRICK THINK!” shouted Annie.

“ Would it have killed you to put that into lame-man's terms?” Dickie asked bitterly.

“ Would it kill you to converse like a proper gentleman?” retorted Bree.

“Would it kill you to stop saying converse? We're not in the presence of the Queen, so I don't think anyone cares...” said Dickie.

“ HOW DARE YOU!” shouted a harassed Bree.

“ Oy, this is going to be a looooonnnngggg 41 days...” sighed Dickie.

Ok, I'm dividing Day one into 2 parts. Hope no one minds!