NB: I'M SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING. I'VE LOST INTEREST IN ALL MY FANFICTIONS AND EVEN BALEETED SOME, SO GO CHECK OUT WHICH ONES ARE STILL THERE AND WHICH ARE GONE FOREVAAAAAAR. LOL BYE.

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Chapter 5- LOL WHUT

"So, what do you want?" L asked. "Do you guys need help around here or anything?"

All four boys looked at each other. "Um, I'm not sure... do we?" Gaara asked. I'm thinking Neji decided to be useful and ask something that would help them in the near future. "Well, it would be nice if you could give us some warnings or something that could help us in the near future." he said. WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU.

"Hmmm..." L hummed, biting into a piece of his cake. "Well, I guess I should just warn you guys about a few things." All four boys listened carefully, and L replied, "You should stay FAR AWAY from the Obsessive Seme's looking for Uke's. If you so much as LOOK at them, they will immediately run over and ask your hand in marriage. No lie. I knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this OTHER guy who was about your age, walked past one, and he was a newly-wed "mother" who adopted a kid. Dropped out ever since."

Naruto gulped down a piece of his cake, both in fear and hunger.

"Next," L continued, "you need to be careful around some of the teachers here. They are very perverted and if they ask you to stay after class, give you a detention with them, or tell you that you have to see them about missing assignments, RUN. And don't come back to thier class for the next... two or three days."

Neji sipped his coffee and added another packet of sugar in it.

"What else..." L scratched his head. "Oh, and... NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCESgo to Nny-kun's house. He's the one who lives in the abandoned, broken down house way behind the college building. He will kill you on sight if so much as get on ONE nerve of his. About four college students died last year because they were... um... well, I forgot what they did, but they must have done something really bad to piss him off. As you can tell, he's a very happy person."

"Oh, I can only imagine..." Sasuke rolled his eyes, with sarcasm in his voice. Neji nodded. "Well, if you want to meet him, you'll have to have NB take you there. She's the only one he'll "trust" (sorta) because she does his grocery shopping. And by groceries, I mean Senior (no accent) Salsa Chips and a Cherry Fiz-Wiz or Slurpee. Maybe a taco once every while, too."

"Has- has he ever tried to hurt NB? Even once?" Naruto asked, licking his plate.

L chuckled at the thought and Raito had to laugh at the memory he just got reminded of. "Well, actually there was this one time when Nny-kun asked for a large cherry Fiz-Wiz, and she accidentally got him a medium-sized one because they ran out of large ones. So, he just went totally berserk, took out some knives, and chased her around the whole entire town. It was probably the funniest thing all year. Why, just last year, the event got placed the yearbook titled it as Most Hilarious Moment."

Gaara giggled evilly. "He seems like my kind of person." he said, smirking. Raito shrugged. "Aaand, I think that's all you need to be warned about." Sasuke nodded and sat up. "Well, I guess we should be going, you guys ready?"

"Yeah."

"Yup!"

"Sure."

"Well, if you need anything else, don't hesitate to ask!!" L waved. Each boy nodded, and began to walk out. "I'll be out in a sec, I'm just gonna go give those two waiters a tip." The others shrugged and nodded, and went outside.

"Hmm, I guess a five for each of them would be good enough..." he said to himself and went through the kitchen door. "Hey, Fai! Kurogane! Thanks for the free meal, here's your-"

Fai and Kurogane looked up from thier previous make-out session, and stared up at Sasuke. There was total silence except for the customers outside and the clanking of forks and spoons on plates.

"Ummm... I'm just gonna leave this on the counter... kthnxbye." And he ran out like a bat out of hell.

Fai blinked a few times and smiled. "Aww, the boy left us a tip! How nice." Kurogane pulled Fai down again and kissed him deeply. "Who cares... All we need to worry about is getting a lock for that damn door."

Sasuke ran out quickly and panted heavily in front of his friends. "Hey, Sasuke, are you okay?" Naruto asked, slightly worried. "You look kinda pale..."

"Uuuh..." Sasuke blushed deeply at the memory of his first make-out encounter. Instead of spilling the beans, he made a funny face and laughed nervously. "Er, nothing! Haha! I was just, uh, making my way out and... fell in a pile of flour!! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR! IT'S NOT SUSPICIOUS! It's normal for a huge pile of flour to be in the middle of a cafe! It's a cafe after all! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, let's be off then!"

He started walking strangely in a totally different direction, leaving three very confused and frightened boys behind.

"Is... Is he on drugs?" Naruto asked.

"I think he's in some kind of shock..." Neji observed.

"Nah, he's just being an emo dork like always." Gaara replied, kicking a can to the side.

RANDOM SCENE

"So I was at the mall the other day," one gay man said to the other. "and I saw the CUTEST mini skirt, but I only had ten dollars, so I couldn't buy it."

"Aww, Mello!" the other replied sympathetically. "I'm so sorry to hear that! Must've been DREADFUL."

"It's okay, Matt," Mello replied. "because I bought chocolate instead!" The blonde haired man pulled out a giant chocolate bar. "Waaah, Mello!! You're so COOL! ILU." Matt exclaimed and glomped Mello.

"That's right, bitch." Mello said, biting his chocolate bar sexily, "Now... SUCK MY LOLLIPOP."

"ANYTHING for YOU, Mello!!" Matt said, with sparkly eyes, and unzipping Mello's leather pants.

FAP, FAP, FAP.

THE ABOVE PART HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY. I JUST WROTE IT DOWN BECAUSE I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING AT THE MOMENT, SO I'LL STOP HERE. LOL.

NB SAYS...

Yeah.

Who wants a lollipop? 8D