Monday came fast. Musouka spent the Sunday resting. She just was so tired but once more she couldn’t fall asleep. So she watched television all day. Not bad but she really wanted to sleep.

“Okay, just ignore people today. I’ve tried to be nice and you know what, screw them!!” Musouka said to herself.

She pulled the bag over her shoulder as she went to her locker. She fiddled with the lock and opened it. It moved in slow motion as she squinted her eyes to block the vision. Her hand shuffled in, trying to grasp any and all books. But it was the strange, somewhat thick paper that made her open her eyes.

“A envelope?” She fingered it before she opened it. It was a written apology from all the girls.

“So, are we forgiven?” Minako shocked Musouka as she appeared at the side.

“GOD! Where’d you come from?” Musouka sucked in air. “Yea, yea.. you’re forgiven IF you don’t scare me like that again!”

“Great! Um... so how are you?” Minako asked pointedly.

Musouka stared at her with a rather dead look. “I’m FINE, okay?”

She and Minako did hang out for the most part. Of course, there was class but Minako joined her for lunch.

“How much sweets do you eat?” Minako couldn’t stop herself from asking.

“Not much..” Musouka sucked down a soda pop. “Besides, makes me feel better.”

Minako blinked. “Err.. okay.”

Musouka was starting to like the ‘angel’. She had no other description for the blonde, save for being as light as air, both in body and mind but Minako was happy, something she had felt she had forgotten. Minako made her smile for a change.

By afternoon, they’d parted ways as she took a bus to her session.

“Back to the grind,” She plopped in the armchair in the white room. The sun was hitting everything that had a reflection and for a moment, the doctor looked like he was a ghost, his body transparent.

“Musouka?” His voice broke in quietly. She’d been unaware of her fingers digging so tightly in the armchair, her nails were breaking.

“Huh? Oh...uh..hi..”

He smiled. “So, let’s talk about Friday’ session.”

“Let’s not and say we did!”

“I think we could make some progress. Now, the picture,” He pulled out a sheet from his folder. “I did it to your extent but I’m afraid I couldn’t make the faces.”

She saw the picture and frowned. “But it’s nothing like mine. It’s.. emotionless.”

“Well, I suppose it is,” He smiled. “Why do you think that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because I drew it and you copied me.”

He continued to smile. “A while ago, you mentioned that you didn’t feel like yourself anymore. What happened to change you?”

For a moment, the idea of being a senshi crossed her mind but it wasn’t right. Something else happened that she couldn’t remember anymore.

And that scared her.

He was patiently waiting.

“I don’t know. I can’t remember.”

“But it must have been traumatic if you think it changed you,” he persisted softly.

“I said I don’t remember,” She breathed.

“Musouka...”

“I DON’T REMEMBER! I DON’T REMEMBER! It’s like a nightmare I can’t wake from! As if I’m here but I’m not real! WHAT AM I!?”

He spoke softly, soothingly. “You’re all right, Musouka. You’re all right. You’ve just have been going through some transitions. You’re trying to find a purpose, if you will. What about getting a job?”

She shook her head.

“Volunteering?”

She frowned. “I don’t think it’s like that. I think I’m halfway out the door,” but she was mumbling now as he leaned over straining to hear her.

“What did you say?”

“You think I’m crazy?” She asked suddenly.

“No, I don’t.”

“Like hell!” She shouted, angry breaking out in hives over her. Her hands came up and slammed against the table, the papers flying. She watched them, falling slowly in white rains and her eyes widened.

“I can’t think straight, Doc. I mean, every time I fall asleep, my dreams, they become nightmares and I don’t know why.”

He smiled compassionately. “Well, your mother was discussing the medicine. Perhaps the other brand of...”

“NO! I don’t want to be popping pills!”

“What about sleeping pills?” He suggested. “They can help you sleep.”

“But what if I don’t wake up?” It was a thought that she voiced without being aware of it.

“What makes you think you can’t wake up?”

‘Wake...I’m awake, right? This is the real me, the real life I’m living? I’m mean, I feel things, taste things, hear things? This is real.. it has to be..’

“I’m well aware I’m awake now...” She began.

“I didn’t mention...”

“Oh look at the time! I got to go! See you Friday!” She pranced out, tripping over the threshold. “God, don’t make me run!”

She disappeared out of the building and walked outside and found the sunlight once more beating on her.

It was blinding, triple folded than that of the room. She covered her face with her hand, the shadow blocking out the sun. The wind picked up, pressing to her side and for a moment, she saw her hand, raised up against the wind, flying with it. It was stretching outward like a cloud and she watched in amazement.

She wondered if the wind were even harder, would it completely blow her away? Or would something be left of her as a ruined memory?

“Sleeping pills? SLEEPING PILLS?!” Ryuu growled. “Of all the nerve! Damnit! Why aren’t these doctors any help?” He asked his wife.

She sipped her soup. “Honey, they’re doing their best.”

Musouka watched them, talking back and forth. She remembered how she couldn’t remember that incident and she perked up.

“Hey, Mom, Dad. Um... do you remember when I began to have problems?” She asked rather lightly.

“You.. don’t remember honey?” Helen asked gently.

“I can’t, I guess,” Musouka shrugged.

“Well,” Ryuu scratched his chin thoughtfully. “I’ll say about three years ago. You were in that car accident, remember?”

Something flashed in her mind, a set of lights vibrating in her head as they crashed forward into her. She flinched as she shook her head. “I ..I can’t... remember...”

“The doctor did say there might be some memory loss,” Helen said soothingly. “So it’s natural that you can’t remember the accident.”

“But...” Musouka was trying to think before but it too was muddled. Oh sure, it was there but pieces of memories, shredded beyond comprehension. She frowned. “Oh... well...”

“Yes, sweetie?” Ryuu asked.

“Uh.. great meal, thanks mom!” She forced another bite. “Can I be excused?”

“Oh, well, all right. I made dessert though!” Her mother called out as Musouka ran out. She could imagine her mother reaching out with a look of total helplessness.

“Baku! Hey, what are you doing?” She asked breathlessly.

“Trying to sleep,” He grunted.

“So.. um...”

“What?”

“Am I crazy? I mean, I keep thinking this isn’t a real world, that I’m dreaming but I’m awake right?”

“Sounds like crazy talk.”

“Guess it doesn’t make much sense.”

“Didn’t say that,” He rolled over. “We need to head downtown.”

His body wafted into a wisp, shooting at her as she tried to yell in surprise. She reopened her eyes and found herself downtown, near the school.

“What..BAKU!?” She hissed.

‘Start walking down the street,’ Baku told her, very calmly.

She started to move, her feet like lead. She wasn’t aware of commanding herself to move. Almost like she were a machine programmed only to move.

They were ahead, talking happily.

‘The girls...Minako.. Ami... Usagi.. Rei... Makoto..’ The names floated in her mind’s eyes as well as each face. ‘They’re always around...’

She came to a stop in front of them. They turned to her and said something but her hearing was malfunctioning.

She saw their lips move and tried to hear them, to answer. It took a moment to realize that just behind them, their shadows were dancing wildly.

“Move..” She whispered.

“What?” They all spoke as one or was it just one of them?

“Move..” She hissed. She raised her hand automatically. “I have to.. I have to..”

There was a scream of terror down the street as people piled out of a bookstore.

“Come on and fall into your fantasies!” The clerk was bawling in laughter. It’s head was cone shaped and it’s teeth pressing it’s lower lip till it broke through. It grinned devilishly as it held up books that became pillars of energy.

“Come on and take a ride with Huck Finn! Or go whale hunting for the great Moby Dick!” It howled.

Musouka’s eyes had gotten huge.

“Run!” Makoto shouted.

“Wh..what? I can’t.. my legs..” She whimpered as she fell down. Her body felt so heavy, she was breaking the cement. She watched the cracks and she began to scream, not in terror but rather in stunned hushed versions of shock.

“Musouka!” Voices, distant, screaming at her. Their voices, familiar but so aloof, were filled with terror, pain. She tried to grasp something, her fingers slipping and she watched as her ring rolled out from her, the single clicking notes onto the pavement. It was shining, calling her.

Her hand reached out and she felt it caught up and the fire brewed into her, sending the darkness into shattering lights.

“Morpheus, Awaken Me!” She cried out wildly. She curled and stretched, the cocoon blossoming into her fuku.

She stood up, her mind quite clear. “You take the great literature of ...well, whatever century they’re from and ruin them? I don’t think so! I’m Sailor Morpheus and it’s time to make this your nightmare!”

“Hee...Ah, a fiery spirit! This book should suit you well,” It held up a book entitled One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

“One, I’ve read that book and it’s not all that like me and secondly, is this a pun that I’m crazy?” She said darkly. “Cause if it is, I’m NOT LAUGHING!”

It turned more books into energies that filled out toward her. She raised her hands and shouted, “Morpheus Nightmarish Hold!”

Black holes swallowed up the monster but in seconds, it broke it easily.

“SHIT!”

“Hey! How dare your ruined the treasures of our past...err, well American past! I am the pretty sailor soldier Sailor Moon! In the name of the moon, you’re punished!” Sailor Moon, with her posse behind her, posed.

“Oh great! The cavalry is here!” Morpheus bit out.

She held up her hand and a long six foot weapon appeared.

It was a six foot gray metallic staff, the top was round and hollow with a spider’s web etched in that hollowed section. It looked like a eight pointed web, as if it had a square overlapped by a diamond. At each point, on the inside of the outlined circle, were eight sky blue gems, each at each point. At the top of the staff’s handle was where the material rounded downward into a detailed ball with a dangling tassel. The wrapped portion was blue but the tassels were gold and were three fourths longer than the wrapped portion. There was a tassel attached to each side of the staff. The bottom was flat but a inch or so from the edge was a sky blue band.

“Dream Snatch!” The web began to spin until it shot out like a torpedo, tugging over the monster until it was covered like mesh. It blossomed into lightning energy, electrocuting the monster.

“Fire Soul!”

“Sparkling Wide Pressure!”

“Shabon Spray!”

The attacks joined Morpheus’s attack and really let the monster have it.

“Sailor Moon!” Venus called out.

“Moon Princess Halation!” Sailor Moon called out as the scepter beamed out an attack and turned the monster into dust.

“Well.. that was fun,” Morpheus grumbled. She made to leave.

“Musouka!” One of the girls said loudly.

Morpheus frowned, looking behind her warily. ‘Those other senshi...’

And she took off down the streets, leaving them behind.

She rounded the corner, heaving. She untransformed in a blink, her body shaking. “God, it’s like I was ran over or something...”

‘Vulnerability. I thought we discussed them,’ Baku spoke dryly.

“Ah...yea.. well, I broke out of it, didn’t I?”

‘Good.. now if you could.. err.. never mind.’

“What? What were you going to say?”

But it was quiet.

Musouka walked home slowly, feeling heavy and drugged. She thought she was attached to these vibrating wires, all over her arms and head. Each of them pulsed, shuttering through her as she tried to ignore them.

When that didn’t work, she tugged at them but her fingers melted through them, appearing at the back as if she weren’t even there to begin with.

She entered the house and walked to her room. It was dark, quiet. She had been unaware of the time lapsing into night and she tiptoed quietly. And as she looked in her room, she saw herself, sleeping. She moved slowly and examined herself.

This self was healthy looking, in a deep sleep that she’d forgotten all about. Musouka reached out and tried to touch that self, to bring it back into herself.

‘Musouka, it’s been a really good day today. The doctor says you’ve been showing some activity. He says you might even wake up..’

The voice, she knew who it was but she couldn’t remember the name, the face of which that voice belonged.

‘Honey, I miss you... I love you... I love you... I love...’

It faded and she staggered back, holding her head as pain ripped through her. ‘Who am I? Where am I? What is this?’

She turned and flipped the light on and slowly, haphazardly turned around and saw the bed, perfectly made. Baku sat on his cushioned throne, his eyes staring at her with something not unlike pity.

“What?” She snapped. She stared at the bed and raised her hands slowly, studying them. She pressed them against her chest and for a moment, thought they would slip through her.

“I’m scared.. I’m getting worse and I don’t know why...” She breathed. “Why do I exist? What kind of warrior am I? I’m... alive, right?”

“I think you need to sleep,” Baku reported softly. “Come on, get some rest.”

She went to the bathroom and began to brush her teeth. She watched the water swirling in that endless spin, falling downward as if into a black hole. She looked up and saw herself in the mirror as she tried to take a deep breath.

But the mirror was quiet and she went to her bedroom to undress.

“How much time passed?” She asked idly. “That’s never happened before.”

“Huh? Only a few hours. You passed out, probably.”

She pulled on her nightgown. “Baku, who or what are you? I mean, you came to me but I don’t know why?”

“You need me, Musouka. I am a part of you.”

“How?”

“You’ll see, some time soon, promise,” He rolled over and fell asleep in moments.

She fingered the ring. She tried to remember when she had it first. Baku hadn’t given it to her. In fact, he only seemed to tell her that one phrase of senshi power but inwardly, she knew it long before. Why? Did she just imagine it? Or was she really this, a senshi and not a mortal?

School came and she found it easier to enter. Probably because Minako was so friendly, it made her day feel better.

“I’m going to the arcade again. Wanna come?” Minako quipped.

“What about your friends?”

“They’re be there,” Minako smiled brightly. “They’re looking forward to seeing you again.”

‘Uh huh, right. I’ve heard that before.’

“For how long?” Musouka asked.

“We like to spend a few hours there. Later, we’re going to Rei’s home. She lives in the Hikawa Shrine.”

“Oh...I’ve heard of that.. somewhere..”

“Well, it’s pretty popular. We can get love charms there!”

Musouka blinked. “I’m not that much into romance right now. I’m really just trying to discover myself.”

“Oh really? Tell me, what other sides do you have?”

“Huh? There’s just me, what you see. What other side would I have?”

“Well,” Minako scratched her nose. “We all have different sides of us. Take me! I’m a school girl and a blossoming singer!”

“But can’t you be both in one self?”

Minako’s smile faded. “Oh.. well, I guess but there are times when we’re all different completely. Like a hidden self that’s a secret.”

“What secret self would you have?” Musouka shook her head. “No, all that we are is just what we are. We are just made of different levels. That doesn’t mean we’re just counterparts.”

“I’m getting a headache,” Minako smiled, slowly rubbing her temples. “You can talk rather smart, you know that?”

“I just do a lot of thinking. It’s just not daydreaming.”

Minako laughed softly. “So, you coming with me?” She resumed her smile.

“Sure, why not.”

Musouka pulled off her book bag and rid it of a few of the unnecessary books. She swung the lock as it clicked to stay stuck until the next time she opened it.

They walked out quietly until the bus station. “We seem to travel a lot by bus. One of these days we should just walk,” Musouka suggested.

Minako snorted. “I prefer getting places in a faster mode. Walking is too much work.”

“You’d work your calves.”

“What? Are you saying I’m fat?”

“No, not like that. But it’d build your stamina.”

“So why don’t you run if you like walking.”

“PLEASE! I hate running. It means I’m in a hurry and I’m never in a hurry to begin with!”

Minako burst out laughing. “I like that kind of logic! Now if we could get Ami to think like that!”

“Ami, that blue haired smartie right? I keep bumping into her at the hospital.”

“Her mom works there,” Minako offered as a way of explanation.

“Oh...” Musouka nodded. “I understand now.”

“So... you like seeing a shrink?” Minako asked idly.

“Huh? Yea, I guess. We’ve been making a breakthrough but I.. once it’s out in the air, I can’t talk about it anymore...”

“About what?”

“Whatever we started talking about. It could be anything. I get set off and my mind goes blank...”

Musouka sighed. “I personally think I’m crazy. I’m just a functional person with a few loose screws.”

“Oh please! You’re not crazy...” Minako grinned. “You want crazy.. wait, no, that can’t work..” Minako burst out laughing, keeping whatever inside joke she was hiding.

They climbed onto the bus and sat down. Minako was increasingly getting agitated, Musouka noted.

“Hey... what’s wrong?”

“Remember when we were discussing about different selves? What if we saw one of yours but you didn’t know ours?”

“What are you talking about?”

Minako was looking out of the window as the bus pulled up, the girls waving to her. “Musouka.. we need to talk.”

“You know, every time I heard that line, something bad happens!” Musouka frowned. “Tell me right now what’s up!”

She followed Minako. The girls perked up and began walking away, Minako following.

“Wait! Wait! STOP!” Musouka shouted but they were ignoring her. She followed, her anger raising until her vision was so narrowed over the group, she was chewing her lip in angst.

“WELL?!” She snapped darkly. They had reached a small opening of street, leading into a park.

Minako sighed. “We saw you transform, remember?”

“What?” Musouka was drawing a blank.

“You’re ... Sailor Morpheus.”

“What? You.. saw that? I... can’t remember..” Musouka frowned. “But you ran off, right? Where did you...”

Minako sighed before glancing back at the others. “Musouka, we are the Sailor Senshi.”

“What?”

“I’m Sailor Venus.”

“What?”

“Musouka, are you all right?”

“You mean you’re real?!” She didn’t know why she said that. She had seen them, heard them before but it never registered that they were REAL. Something was off about that fact, disappearing into the far corners of her mind and memories and she frowned.

“I...I’m sorry. I .. well, what do you want to do about it?” Musouka’s eyes darkened. “You probably wanna get rid of me, huh? Why you walked to a secluded place...”

A happy couple passed by, the elderly woman giggling as the old man held his wife close to him.

“Okay, not secluded.. but you’re going to threaten me, aren’t you?”

“We’re not the one that acts all high,” Rei snapped.

“I’m not high! I’m a little warped that’s all.”

“How did you awaken?” Makoto asked.

“Where are you from? What’s your purpose?” Rei asked.

“Do you have any memories of a past life? Do you know why you’ve awaken here and now?” Ami began.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Musouka shouted. Each question had slapped her in the face and she realized she couldn’t answer them. She couldn’t remember. Why couldn’t people understand that! “I don’t know! I woke up one day and my guide told me I had to wake up! I became Morpheus but I don’t know why! I can’t remember!”

“You never remember!” Makoto began.

“What do you know!?” Musouka, whispered, rage etched in every letter. “What the hell gives you the right to look at me like that?!”

“We’re not..” Minako began.

“You’re just like them! You never wanted to be my friend! You never liked me! EVERYONE HATES ME! I didn’t do anything!” She was sobbing, air sucking into her lungs and forcing out in painful gasps. “I just want to fall asleep! LET ME SLEEP! LET ME GO! WHY ARE YOU HOLDING ME HERE!” Her voice reached a high screeching tone and something seemed to rip the time apart. The others were watching her, horror in their features.

Musouka was fading, into the nothingness that called to her. The ghosts, they were clamping at her ankles, her arms, biting her. She saw her blood, black as night, spilling out into a pool.

She saw lights, two beams of light, hit her again and again. She was in pain, she was shaking. Someone was crying her name, holding her. She couldn’t think anymore and her mind began to snap under the pressure.

‘Sleep.. let me sleep...’ Her eyes fluttered slowly. ‘Let me go...’

‘No.. no, don’t let go...’ Her voice, Baku’s voice, took a pleading tone. ‘Just wake up, Musouka.. please wake up...’

‘I can’t! I can’t... why am I here? What am I?’

‘Musouka.. if you give up.. you won’t ever get up.. you won’t wake up.. you’ll be lost...’

‘But I’m already dying...’

‘You keep thinking like this.. of course you will. If you break that barrier of dreaming.. you can wake up.. wake up ...’

Musouka’s eyes opened as screams came from the park.

It was a large group that was targeted. They fell into demented sleep, their minds wiping clear as the monster sucked them dry.

“Morpheus, awaken me!” Musouka called out as she transformed.

She watched the others transform in amazement, still not believing that they were senshi.

“Moon Crystal Power Make Up!”

“Mercury Planet Power, Make Up!”

“Mars Planet Power, Make up!”

“Jupiter Planet Power, Make Up!”

“Venus Planet Power, Make Up!”

The five stood together, Sailor Morpheus straggling at the side.

‘They’re ...they’re real?’ Morpheus gulped.