Plundered Hearts

by Sora G. Silverwind

Summary: Rukifellth and Lilith find that they can steal more than just treasure...

Rating: PG-13 for language, suggestive jokes/situations, and (cartoon?) violence.

Author’s notes: Pardon the cheesy title. It was better than “Piratical Passions,” which just sounds like a really, really, really, really bad soap opera.

Done from a set of 30 themes compiled by Vyctori Windheart and her friend Rallalon. Vyc’s an author on here who writes for Fire Emblem, Golden Sun, and Tales of Symphonia, so be sure to check her out!

The chapters take place at various times in a variety of places and in a variety of situations. Since I essentially have two versions of the characters in my twisted head, I’ll indicate whether the chapter should be read visualizing their chibi forms (their original forms in the game) or their realistic forms (the forms that no one except me knows about...just picture them in regular human proportions, anime-style, or however you want to do it).

Disclaimer: I don’t own the original Lilith and Rukifellth, but I do own their customizations. It should be fairly clear what I do and do not own. And, uh, Rukifellth’s claiming that he owns Lilith, but I think that’s something best saved for the fic, amirite?

B-O-M-B

Silly Hats - chibi

B-O-M-B

“Rukifellth.”

Rukifellth tore his attention away from the control panel of the ship, where he’d been watching the built-in TV screen. He quickly switched it off and grinned sheepishly at the glaring redhead behind him. “I wasn’t watching Ogenki Clinic again, honest!” he insisted.

Lilith rolled her eyes. “I don’t even know why I try anymore.”

“Because you love me?”

“I’d love to hate you.”

“You mean you don’t hate me now?”

Lilith didn’t answer that. “Take a look at this.” She tapped a few keys on the main keyboard, bringing up a holographic projection of a computer screen featuring the mug shots of two males. Smaller holographic screens with information popped up around the main one. “I know we don’t usually go after bounties, but I just found this one and it looks too good to pass up.”

Rukifellth leaned forward, eyes narrowed in interest. “The Mario Brothers? That’s a mafia name if I ever heard one.”

“Yep.” Lilith sat down in the co-pilot’s seat, next to Rukifellth. “Consists of Mario Mario and his younger brother, Luigi Mario. Their crime history is pretty impressive, ranging from kidnapping to grand larceny to repeated counts of aggravated assault. Add to that seven counts of murder and conspiracy against the king. Looks like they also do a little drug-dealing on the side, specializing in mushrooms.”

Rukifellth snorted. “And everyone thought we were bad. So who wants their heads?”

“He’s ‘king of the Koopas’—Bowser is his name.”

Rukifellth snapped to attention. “Royalty, eh?”

Lilith smiled. “Now you know why I showed you this.”

“What’s he paying?”

“350 million Koopa Koins and a pick of one of five ‘rare and valuable’ Koopa Treasures.”

“...Lilith, have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Not in the past ten minutes.”

Rukifellth grinned and tugged gently on Lilith’s arm to pull her closer and plant a kiss on her cheek. “Then, I love you.”

“That was...strangely tame for you,” she said, raising an eyebrow.

Rukifellth snickered. “Why? Did you want something more?”

“Hardly. It’s just that when you’re actually a gentleman to me, you usually end up asking me about something that makes me want to strangle you.”

Rukifellth clutched his shirt in an expression of mock hurt. “Lilith! You’ve no faith in me at all.”

“Of course I do. I have faith that you’re a pervert at heart.” Lilith patted Rukifellth’s head. “Now come on, space cowboy, we’ve got a bounty to snatch.”

“Space cowboy? That’s a new one.” Rukifellth rubbed his chin in thought as he peered at his reflection in the window. “I’ve certainly got the hat for it...”

Lilith quickly snatched the aforementioned item off Rukifellth’s head and placed it on her own. “Not anymore, you don’t!” she said.

“Hey!” Rukifellth reached for his hat. “Give that back!”

Lilith giggled and stepped just out of his arm’s reach. She stuck her tongue out at him. “If you don’t have the hat, let’s see if you have the moves!” And she ran off.

“Lilith, you so just made a pass at me!” Rukifellth yelled out, running after her.

B-O-M-B

Lilith swiftly navigated the metallic hallways of the Warship Noah, trying to find a good place to hide. She ignored the engine room: too hot and too noisy. She ran past the kitchen: too tempting to steal one of the knives—or the bagel slicer—and use it on a certain someone. She descended a flight of steps to a lower level...and stopped in front of the door to Rukifellth’s bedroom.

The letter hiding in plain sight, Lilith thought smugly, punching the password in the keypad and walking through the sliding door. He won’t check in here for sure! I’ve only been in here once and that was to get the panties he stole from me.

The room was spacious and clean, simple but comfortable. Rukifellth’s built-in bunk held a stack of comic books and some pajamas. The walls featured various pin-ups and a guitar chord reference poster. There was a writing desk, a bookshelf of books and DVDs, a dresser topped with framed photos of herself and Rukifellth, and a walk-in closet. “Got any skeletons in your closet, Ruk?” she asked, giggling again as she threw open the closet doors. Her brown eyes suddenly widened. “...whoah.”

The closet was filled with shelves upon shelves of hats.

Cowboy hats.

Berets.

Baseball caps.

Top hats.

Fedoras.

Straw hats.

Hats, hats, hats.

Lilith stared open-mouthed at the headwear extravaganza before her. “Holy...” she started, reaching out in awe. “That is one nice sombrero.”

B-O-M-B

Rukifellth leaned against the wall, puzzled. Where could Lilith have gone? he wondered. The Noah was big, but most of it was taken up by the engine room and other structural doodads that were necessary to keep the craft functioning. The actual living space wasn’t horribly huge when compared to the size of the entire ship. He wasn’t annoyed by the situation at all—actually, he thought of it as a perfect opportunity to make Lilith eat her words—but it was a confuzzling one for him.

Rukifellth sighed. He didn’t want to admit defeat by calling Lilith on her communicator, but it looked like he had no choice. Unfortunately, he’d left his communicator in his room, so he’d have to backtrack a few levels. It was just as well; he needed to change his clothes anyway.

He opened the door to his room...and was greeted by the sight of Lilith wearing a large Viking helmet.

Rukifellth stared at her.

Lilith stared back at him.

A silence fell.

Then...

Rukifellth chuckled. “Does this mean you—”

“Don’t even finish it.”

Rukifellth only laughed harder. “That’s not what I was going to say. I was going to ask if this meant you had a craving for Spam.”

Lilith’s face colored as red as her hair.

Rukifellth wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed her on the lips. “Have I told you how much I love you?”

“Yes, a little over ten minutes ago.”

“Well, I still love you.”

“I love you too.”