B-O-M-B

Vacation – chibi

B-O-M-B

"Man!" Bomberman stretched and grinned before poking at a pile of noodles on his plate with chopsticks. "I can't thank you enough for bringing me along on this trip, Rukifellth. This has been a blast so far! Great food, great company, no worries...I'm lovin' it!"

Rukifellth grinned back as he was slicing up a steak. "Like I said, it's no problem at all."

"You certainly deserve the vacation," Lilith added.

Bomberman, Rukifellth, and Lilith were three days into a week-long all-expenses-paid trip on one of Quickway's luxury trains, sponsored by the local radio station KBOM 95.2. Rukifellth had won the trip after being the 30th caller to the station, and had been allowed to bring two friends along with him. Of course, he brought Bomberman and Lilith along for the ride. The three of them were now enjoying a fine dinner at the moment, dressed in somewhat formal clothes. Lilith was wearing a sleek black cocktail dress with dainty heels, while Rukifellth and Bomberman were clad in dress shirts with slacks and nice shoes.

While Bomberman had been enjoying his time on the trip, though, Lilith had been fairly quiet and pensive, in vast contrast to her normally sunny nature. She sat now, chewing quietly on a piece of broccoli, staring blankly at nothing in particular on the white tablecloth.

Bomberman regarded her with some concern. "Hey, Lilith, are you all right?"

Lilith waved him off. "I'm fine," she insisted. "I'm just lost in my own thoughts without a map."

"Well...okay." Bomberman didn't seem entirely convinced. "But if you want to talk, you can talk to me anytime, okay?"

A smile from Lilith. "Thanks. You're always a great help."

Bomberman blushed slightly and occupied himself with his food.

Rukifellth raised an eyebrow. "W-wait a minute, so what does that make me? Atoms of swamp scum?"

"Nah," Lilith responded. "Just an unnatural pervert."

"Don't you think that's a bit redundant?"

"You're a freak among the freaks. It's perfectly logical."

Rukifellth placed a hand to his heart and pouted at her. "Oh, what sharp words that wound me!"

"Save it, Romeo," Lilith said, rolling her eyes amusedly.

Bomberman suddenly stood up, looking pained. "Er, mind excusing me for a moment?" he asked. "Nature's calling and the answering machine isn't picking up." He stumbled off to the bathroom, clutching his stomach.

A beat.

Rukifellth shrugged. "You know, I did warn him about the sushi."

"Dummy!" Lilith snapped, glaring at him. "You're the one who told him that eating all the wasabi was a surefire way to make sure he could keep the sushi in! That's probably why he's so indisposed right now!"

"It's not my fault if his stomach linings aren't made of steel." Before Lilith could call him on this rather callous remark, Rukifellth leaned forward on the table, resting his chin in his hand and gazing at her. "So what's with you, Lilith?"

"What?"

"Don't play the innocent with me. I know when there's something bothering you. What is it? I mean..." And he waved his other hand around vaguely. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But I'm just letting you know that I know something's up with you."

Lilith took a sip from her water glass. "No, it's fine. I didn't want to talk about this in front of Bomberman because I didn't want to ruin his good mood." She solemnly set down the glass. "I...I think someone from Bad Guys Inc. is on board somehow."

Rukifellth scrunched his brows together. "You're not serious."

"Well, if it's not them, it's someone with a really bad aura."

"But why would Bad Guys Inc. be here?" Rukifellth asked, perplexed. "If their goal is collecting energy, this is one of the worst places to be. Everyone here's mellower than yellow!"

"They might be after m – er, I mean Bomberman."

Rukifellth grinned widely. He leaned closer and lowered his voice. "Come off it, Magic Knight Erina. There's no way you could have fooled me forever. I'm your best friend, for the love of Mihaele! At least, I hope I'm at least on good terms with you."

Lilith glanced cautiously at him, frowning. "What makes you think that I'm Erina Sasami?"

"Pfft! Isn't it obvious? Erina looks just like you, only with two purple dumplings pinned to either side of her head and a cute little pink cheongsam dress! Let me tell you, the pantyshots from that thing are fan-tastic!"

She turned bright red. "Leave me alone about my outfit! Just because it's short doesn't mean you can tease me about it!"

"Aha!" Rukifellth pointed a triumphant finger at Lilith. "So you are Erina!"

Lilith blinked stupidly at Rukifellth for a moment. "Argh!" she groaned, putting her face into her hands. "I hate you so much right now."

He winked. "Love you too, dear." He took a bite of steak before continuing. "Anyway, you don't need to worry. Your secret's safe with me."

Lilith glared out from between her fingers. "Until someone decides to buy it from you for eleventy-nine million galactic gold."

"Okay, now that actually hurts," said Rukifellth, pointing his fork at her and looking miffed.

She sighed and lowered her hands. "Sorry. It's just that this whole business is a pain in the neck and then some. I've been stressing on it ever since I got stuck with the job."

"I can tell. And it can't be easy with Bomberman and Zhael hating on your Erina persona. Although to be honest...I think poor Bomberman would just be really, really confused if he found out. Hey, don't worry, I'm not going to tell him!" Rukifellth said quickly after Lilith shot him a panicked look. "I already said your secret was safe with me, right? Can't you trust me on that?"

"Of course I can." Lilith leaned back in her seat. She took her spoon and drew lines in her mountain of mashed potatoes with it. "It's just that...I'm wondering if there's going to be some sort of punishment on me for you finding out."

Rukifellth blinked. "Er, why would there be?"

"Well, see, there's some sort of holy law that apparently I'm not allowed to tell anyone that I'm...that I'm not allowed to tell anyone what my side job is. If I break that, Bad Things will happen."

"...but you didn't tell me. I figured it out."

"I know. But you know how laws like to have little loopholes and clauses and corollaries and such."

"Ha! Of course I know. You and I exploit them all the time to get ourselves out of trouble."

Lilith laughed at that, but her cheerful mood was brief. "Ruk, believe me when I say I would've told Bomberman about this the instant I found out. Even if he got mad at me for it. But I can't say anything because, well, Bad Things will happen, and I'd rather not be the bringer of Bad Things."

"...I don't suppose I could ask what kind of bad things those 'Bad Things' entail, could I?"

Lilith shook her head.

"Trade secret, eh?"

She shook her head again. "I don't even know what they are. I tried asking and no one would tell me. But the words are capitalized, so it must be pretty bad, you know?"

"I guess that makes sense." A beat. "Hey...you wouldn't need, like, a Tuxedo Mask to your Sailor Moon, would you?" He winked. "'Cause I'm up for the job."

Lilith frowned and crossed her arms. "Are you saying that you don't think I can handle things on my own? That I'm some stupid blonde ditz who couldn't wave a plastic wand to save her life without Mr. Phantom of the Soap Opera to back her up, who doesn't even do anything except toss around flowers like a flower girl?"

"Huh? N-no, that's not it at all – what are you – ?"

When Bomberman came back to the table a relieved man, he found Lilith in the spasms of a gigglefit and Rukifellth covered in mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables.