A/N: This is a story I’m going to write…Just to take a break from my ‘Gah! About Time!’ fic. It’s quite… Suggestive, also rated for childish curiosity… Whereas the child isn’t supposed to ask about some things…

EDIT: EDITED AND REVAMPED!

--

A storm was raging outside. The power was out, and almost-pitch darkness engulfed the three figures in the room.

They were sitting in their customized-for-Peacecraft canopy bed, waiting for the storm to stop and the power to go back on.

“Daddy?” Inquired Tadashi, their four year old daughter.

“Hn?”

“Are you scared of storms?”

“No.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Are you scared of anything?”

“No.”

Tadashi turned to Relena, whom was snorting her way out of a burst of laughter.

“Mommy?”

“Yes?”

“What’s daddy scared of?”

“Ask him yourself.” She answered mischievously. “Won’t you, Daddy dear?”

Tadashi turned to ‘Daddy dear’. He noticeably stiffened. “Ask your mother.”

“But—“

“Ask your mother.” He repeated.

“Mommy, daddy said—“

“Daddy said what?” she eyed Heero with both eyebrows raised… teasing him.

Tadashi asked Relena regardless. “What is daddy afraid of?”

“Losing you.” She simply said, smiling sweetly at her daughter.

“And you.” Heero continued, referring to Relena. She smiled at him. And bent over for a gentle kiss.

Tadashi watched with intensity. Large Prussian blue eyes dancing with raging curiosity.

“Gross! Someone hand me my Ventolin puffer, I think I’m gonna have a relapse!” Tadashi whined dramatically.

Relena laughed at her, and at Heero’s amused expression. Their daughter was indeed a child-prodigy; her ability to absorb information from her surroundings was marvelous.

--

A bruised thumb and three sets of Goosebumps later, Tadashi spoke again, her motormouth running with a newfound, hungry curiosity.

“Daddy?”

“Hn?”

“How old are you and Mommy?”

“Twenty-five.”

“Is brown your natural hair color?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have perfect eyesight?”

“I… Think so.” Satisfied, she turned to Relena.

“Mommy?”

“Yes?”

“Are you a verr-juhn?”

“Virgin?” Relena’s eyes popped open. “What? Young lady, where did you learn that word?” she demanded.

“Well, uncle Duo said—“

“Uncle Duo, huh?”

“Yeah, Mommy! Are you?” Tadashi beamed at Relena.

“Well, uh…”

“Mommy?”

“…Heero, you handle this.” Heero shifted away almost instantly.

She turned to Heero. “Daddy… Can you answer my question?”

“No.”

She turned back to Relena. “Mommy! Do you need ass…?”

Relena intervened in the question immediately. “What?”

Tadashi’s little nose scrunched in as she visibly struggled. “Ass… perr… run…”

“Holy crap!” Relena cursed.

“Holy crap?”

Heero clamped his hands over Tadashi’s ears. “Ignore your mother.”

“Heero!”

Heero’s hands loosened their grip. And Tadashi leaped into Relena’s lap. “So, mommy… this ‘virgin’… Are you?”

“No, sweetie.”

Tadashi edged on. “Am I a virgin?”

Heero looked horrified. Relena tried not to curse. “YES! Yes, yes, yes, yes. You most absolutely are!” she panicked.

“But, but, that’s not fair! Why aren’t you a virgin and I have to be?”

“No—no. Sweetie, that’s not the point. Look, do you know what it is?”

“No…”

Heero and Relena breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’ll have a talk with ‘Uncle Duo’ later.” Heero threatened.

Tadashi snuggled up to Relena and clutched Heero’s hand.

--

After several minutes, Tadashi spoke again.

“Mommy?”

“Hm?”

“Where did I come from?”

The parents both froze. And Tadashi waited patiently.

Relena obviously couldn’t describe sex to her four-year-old daughter… So… She improvised.

“Well…You see, erm, this bird—“

“—a pigeon.”

Relena eyed Heero oddly, but played along anyway. “Yes, a…Pigeon, that—“

“—is blue with red wings.”

Relena looked at Heero again. “Yeah… That comes from—“

“—Giantess tribes,”

“and has two—“

“—Tattoos,”

“the size of—“

“—its ass.”

“Heero!” Relena scolded hoarsely to him. He smirked sexily at her. Relena ignored this… against her will. “Anyway… The pigeon carries a—“

“—Picnic basket.”

Relena leaned over to him and whispered in his ear. “A picnic basket?”

“Hn.”

Relena sighed exasperatedly. “As I was saying, the pigeon carries a picnic basket with a baby inside it—“

“—wrapped in pink paper with yellow flowers.”

Relena raised an eyebrow. “Right… And the pigeon carries all these picnic baskets around the world and drops them at a married couple’s doorsteps.”

“How does it carry all the baskets?”

“Erm…It has…”

“Cousins!” “Children!” they said together.

“Erm… Cousins… that have also recently received their own children!”

“I thought it was only for humans?”

“Shit.” Heero swore.

“Shit?”

“Heero!” Relena smacked his shoulder. “So, they drop the picnic baskets at a married couple’s doorstep and flies away to give another married couple their baby.”

“Hmm… If it's for a married couple...” she put a finger on her chin thoughtfully. “What about teenage pregnancy?”

“What!?”

“Because Uncle Duo was talking about—“

“Ssh! Okay Tadashi, listen to mommy very, very carefully. Never, ever listen to what Uncle Duo says about children, do you understand?”

“Yes, mommy.”

“Good.”

“But, mommy?”

“Hm?”

“You can't be right. Uncle Duo and Aunt Hilde said having children was like operating a juicer machine… You insert a cucumber into the machine, wait until it becomes devoured… and juice comes out!

Relena leaned close to Heero to whisper in his ear. “Talk about gross. Not even we could go into that kind of detail. Abuse of machines, I tell ya.”

“Tell Tadashi it’s bullshit.”

“Right.” She turned to Tadashi, “Well, what Aunt Hilde said wasn’t true, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good, now go to sleep.”

“G’night mommy, g’night daddy.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

--

“So… Have you been thinking about… children, perhaps?” he wrapped his arms around his 23 year old wife.

Tadashi turned around and looked at him indignantly. “We have to wait for the blue and red pigeon first!” She shook her head. “What kind of parents raised you?”

Owari

Lesson 1: Don't tell your children a half-assed story about how children are made.

Lesson 2: Heero and Relena are bad influences.