Disclaimer: Star Wars - Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy belongs to Lucas Arts. Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Video.

A Star Wars-Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy/Ranma One-half fusion

The Jedi of Chaos
Chapter 4 (version 1.01)

After years of galactic fighting and inner struggle, for Luke Skywalker, teaching at the Jedi Academy was in comparison, relatively peaceful.

Until things happened, like now, that is.

The Jedi Master's, along with a few others, hopes for a quiet ride back towards the Academy were quickly and firmly squashed.

Seven seconds into the trip, Rosh Penin and Narissa (or Xi-an Phu) continued their, ahem, marital spat. Luke soon found himself wishing that he had the common sense to stay behind with Kyle and three of the older students.

Narissa/Xi-an Phu was tightly bound with some spare industrial grade wire coiling and was sitting on the floor of the transport. Kam and Luke were sitting to either side, keeping a close eye on her and monitoring for any signs of Force usage that might lead to an escape attempt. So far, there had been none at all and with good reason. Her full attention was completely focused on Rosh.

While they had been searching for clues at the Temple, Luke had sent Mara Jade a message with the transport's computer briefly explaining the situation and had requested for some ysalamari. Mara had quickly responded and had told him that he had caught her on a good day; she would borrow one from Karrde and swing by later that night to deliver the Force-nullifying creature personally.

Luke was looking forward to her visit. In fact, he was grasping at anything that would help distract him from the quarrel taking place between THEM. It was really beginning to wear on him rather quickly and was beginning to reach the point where some of his past adventures just couldn't compare in terms of taxing his nerves. It was taking a good measure of effort on his part now to simply blow up at the two kids.

The Jedi code preached about patience, which was fine and all, but this was ridiculous!

"Listen up, Shampoo, or whatever the hell your name is. I am NOT your HUSBAND, you are NOT my WIFE, and we are NOT married."

Kam Solusar, a taciturn man by nature, appeared to be unaffected by it all. However the smallest signs of annoyance were starting to show in his eyes.

"It's XI-AN PHU, you idiot! X-I-A-N PHU! Get a clue already! That's the fourth time you've said my name wrong!"

Like he had done with Aserna back in the shuttlecraft, Ranma Korr was tuning them out. He casually looked over the side at the swiftly passing trees below, seemingly oblivious to the raging argument.

"Fine, 'Shi-Am Feyu'. Look, I'm telling you right now to leave me alone and go find some other poor sap to crush to death." Rosh winced, remembering the glomp of pain she'd done to him. Damn, but that had just about killed him by squeezing the oxygen out of his lungs! Stupid blonde homicidal maniac! Despite her firm declarations about leaving those - what did she call them? - Disciples of Ragnos, the young Penin didn't believe it for a second. Neither did Masters Skywalker and Solusar, he was certain of that.

Something in Rosh's demand made Ranma shiver. Shrugging it off as nothing, he continued on what he was doing.

Unlike their instructors, both prospective and current students onboard weren't trying to ignore what was going on. In fact, they were taking an avid interest in it, eagerly soaking up the amusement factor for all it was worth. This was ten times better than one of those soaps on the holovid!

Rosh snorted in growing frustration. After everything that had happened today, he wasn't about to put up with any more unnecessary crap. "I'll say it as many times as needed until you finally get it into your thick skull. We ARE not married! Jeez, you're such an airhead, almost as worse as Aserna!"

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Xi-an Phu didn't know who this 'Aserna' person was, but she had a suspicion that she'd just been insulted. Of all the nerve! Her new mate was cute, but his attitude really sucked!

Sure, she'd expected some hesitation and certainly a little reluctance from him, not full blown hostility and anger! Though, after being exposed to the 'outside world', Xi-an could understand where Rosh was coming from; after all from his point of view, a half hour ago she had been trying to kill him.

And there was another thing to consider. Now that she wasn't attached to Crimson, she had already decided that she'd go back to being called Xi-an Phu. Narissa had been Crimson's 'new' name for her, and personally, she'd thought it had sounded pretty neat. But since she had a new husband, she would have to cast off that name and resort to her original one. Such was the law of the Joketsukou Clan, and so she would abide by it.

"Will both of you please be quiet! You're not the only ones on this transport, you know," Luke amiably remarked. Too bad the sight of his stiff jaw and narrowed eyes said otherwise.

Ashamed of himself and dropping volume to more normal levels, Rosh said, "Sorry about that, Master Skywalker. It's, it's just that the Psycho Blonde over there refuses to drop that stupid fairytale that I'm her husband!"

For Xi-an, she 'conveniently' only heard the last three words of Rosh's sentence. Her expression brightened and were her hands free she would have clapped her hands together in delight. "Oh sweetie, you DO admit it! In that case, it won't be long until we can consummate our marriage!"

Rosh visibly blanched at the thought of being in the same room with her, though at the same time half of him was excited at hearing her proclamation. A wild thought ran through his mind; in the bed, would she either strangle him to death or engage in long, exhaustive hours of sex?

(Un)Fortunately, his sense of self-preservation came to the fore. "No, I am NOT and we WON'T!" he shouted angrily, folding his arms over his chest defiantly.

"You are too! Clan Joketsukou's laws clearly state that in the event of a male outsider who, in this case - you -, decisively defeats a female warrior, me, in combat than said female warrior has to give the male a sign of her affection and then the two are formally married. End of story," she stated, a satisfied look on her face.

However, that wasn't the end of the story in Rosh's opinion. He shook his head, snickering at the sheer incredibility of such a law. "That is so full of rubbish that an idiot can see it! And I'm reminding you again, stupid laws or no, I am not your husband and I don't want anything to do with you. End. Of. Story."

To Luke's dismay, the two of them suddenly began loudly arguing in a manner more suitable to pre-adolescents.

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

Ranma suddenly turned to his seatmate and said, "Interesting, isn't it? It seems to me that they fight like a married couple already."

Kam Solusar, taking this chance to listen to something else besides Penin or Xi-an, smirked. "Yeah, pretty interesting."

Luke barely stifled the urge to slap his head in frustration at the childish display in front of him. "My Academy for an anti-ache pill," he muttered. Gods, how he wished he was home already.

---

"Here we are folks, home safe and sound!" the driver announced cheerfully as he parked in front of the Academy's main entrance.

"Thank the Force," muttered Rosh, feeling relieved since he wouldn't have to spend any more time in HER presence. He threw Xi-an a smug smirk; she returned it with a happy smile, thinking that her husband was lightening up about her.

The students were disappointed because their source of amusement was no more and gave a groan to show it.

Luke was also relieved, though he kept it from showing. Finally, now he could go to his room and pop a tablet or two to erase the migraine he was feeling. Once that was done, he would officially greet the newcomers, well, at least the ones who weren't badly injured.

Though she was still tied up, and the feeling in her legs had long numbed, Xi-an was admiring the architecture of the Academy. Her great great great grandmother Kul-ahn would've definitely approved.

While he was putting up a facade of his normal stoic self, Kam really needed an immediate visit to the nearest lavatory. Quickly informing Luke that he had some pressing business to attend to, he was the first one off the transport. As soon as he rounded the corner of the entrance, his feet quickly began pounding a rapid tune towards the nearest public lavatory.

Luke stared in confusion at Kam, then looked at the group of students, picking out two of them in particular. "Ranma, Rosh, could you escort Ms. Phu here to the holding cells on Level 3? Mr. Twitkeat, could you show them the way and also help keep an eye on her as well?"

One of the students bowed respectfully to Luke. "As you wish, Master Skywalker." Then, as he turned to regard the two shorter men, his entire bearing changed into something less humble and more arrogant. "Follow me, candidates," Koun ordered in an imperious sounding tone, turning around and starting towards the main entrance.

Freshly irritated at meeting a second arrogant individual, Rosh opened his mouth to challenge Koun's assumptive attitude but was interrupted by Xi-an. "Holding cells? Prison?" she asked in surprise. "How come? I should be staying with my husband in his room!"

The young Penin growled at what he viewed as a pathetic attempt to be clueless and innocent. The memory of her rushing at him with a lightsaber was, needless to say, the stuff of nightmares.

"Shut up, you Psycho Barbie!" he growled. "No one here is stupid enough to let someone like you free to roam around and kill us in our sleep! Besides, I'm not even sure that a holding cell is enough; in fact, I think we should just, well, make sure right here and now that she won't be able to do any more harm."

With that in mind, Rosh turned to the one person he'd never thought he'd ask a favor of.

With a serious look on his face, he said, "Korr, you have the gun. You've seen how dangerous her and hers were. Would YOU feel comfortable sleeping with her around in the Academy? Even in a cell? With her Force powers and all?"

As she heard this, Xi-an eyed Ranma and then felt a growing doubt as she did so. Her husband's acquaintance was indeed quite a scary one. Though he was almost as handsome as her husband, that emotionless face of his, those ice-cold eyes... It made a shiver run up her spine, and with good reason.

The Joketsukou Clan fought, trained, and lived passionately. It was an integral part of their lifestyle, and none of them believed any different. For Xi-an, someone like Ranma Korr was a living antithesis to every fierce, tough Joketsukou member. His very presence insulted her upbringing, and each time she looked at his cold, expressionless face, she became affronted and quickly angered.

Ranma's eyes narrowed as he regarded Xi-an, remembering how viciously the girl's dark-blue leader had fought. For the first time since they'd met, Penin had actually brought up something important for a change. Ranma was surprised at that, but he was even more surprised about discovering that he agreed with Penin on this particular matter. With that, he came to a quick decision and then suddenly drew his gun and fired.

Only with the Force was Luke able to react in time. His light-blue energy blade flashed into existence and safely deflected the laser bolt down into the transport's floor. A burnt mark appeared at the point of impact, smoke wafting up from it.

"Stand down, Ranma Korr!" he ordered in a steely tone of voice. "Reholster your gun; this girl is no longer a threat!"

Koun Twitkeat became enraged at the sight of Xi-an Phu being endangered by a lowly candidate and acted immediately to discourage any further attempts. For some reason, he failed to see the risk in attacking a man armed with a gun and also, since he'd been raised by a high class Alderaan family who frowned on acting with dishonorable intentions, Koun thus began to state his intentions in a clear voice.

Let it be known that most multi-verse analogues of Tatewaki Kunou lacked common sense at any given time.

"Fiend! You dare threaten the life of my divine blonde angel? I, Koun Twitkeat, shall punish you-Ooooooooff!" Unfortunately for him, however, Ranma had been long aware and immediately reacted with a back kick.

With a foot in his stomach, Koun's momentum was reversed and he was knocked away from Ranma and Rosh.

"Idiot," snorted Rosh in contempt, conveniently forgetting that he himself had tried a similar attack on Ranma earlier which had also failed miserably.

Dismissing Koun as minor irritant, Ranma returned his attention back to Luke and Xi-an Phu, and, as if he hadn't been interrupted he continued speaking.

"A threat she may not be for the moment," he corrected, his blaster not budging an inch. "My apologies for firing on Academy grounds, but surprisingly, I find myself agreeing with Penin on this part. I don't think that an enemy possessing such Force abilities like hers would be able to be contained by a normal jail cell. Nor do I think that anyone, with the exception of mercenaries and cowards, could switch loyalties in an eye blink. She has to have some sort of scheme running."

"That's right!" Rosh exclaimed. "One minute she's trying to kill me and the next she's calling me her husband and trying to drag me off to bed! There's something definitely wrong with this picture!"

His self-proclaimed 'wife', having already recovered from the shock of being fired at while being a prisoner, chose this moment to correct Rosh's statement. "Wait, you've got it all wrong! I SO wasn't going to kill you! Knock you out, probably. Seduce you, certainly-" she trailed off. Her cheeks blushed a deep red as she murmured shyly, "Oh my, I said that out loud, didn't I?"

Luke didn't know what the exact term was, but it suddenly felt as if for no reason at all he would suddenly fall flat on his face. On the other hand, possessing considerably less self-composure, Rosh and the three other students did just that and shook the transport with their collective impacts.

Koun's jaw dropped open as he stared at the voluptuous blonde in open lust. Why such an unmatchable beauty would choose to seduce a skinny, lowborn peasant instead of a noble son of the Twitkeat family was completely beyond his understanding. Yes, he could see it now! That was it; Penin must have used the Force to meddle with her mind. Therefore, it was his duty to save her from his evil plot and defend her from Korr's homicidal tendencies!

"No, my fair princess! He is addling your mind with his detestable mind tricks; you must resist him! Join with me and I will protect your maidenhood!" Koun exclaimed. Knotting his fists in frustration, the young Twitkeat fervently wished that his lightsaber was already constructed! Unfortunately, his graduation to the rank of Jedi Knight was half a year away, and that was the only time when he would be allowed to make it.

Everyone else looked at him in confusion and wondered what the hell he was talking about. For his part, Rosh's right eye twitched as he glared at the apparently demented fool.

"My maidenhood?" asked Xi-an, looking puzzled. She blinked her eyes and said, "I'm afraid that you're mistaken. My 'maidenhood' was taken years ago."

"Damn!" cursed one of the younger students, which was ignored by everyone else.

Rosh became uneasy at the disturbing light that appeared in Twitkeat's eyes. He began cursing under his breath as Koun turned his whole attention towards him, looking as if there was nothing else in the world he would've loved to do than to strangle Rosh. "Damn it, I'm surrounded by fruitcakes!"

Koun's cobalt eyes gleamed eerily and he spoke in a slightly trembling fashion. "So, the peasant Penin deflowered my lovely warrior goddess long ago, did he? You thought you could get away with that abominable act, you vile enemy of women!"

"Hey, I'm not your 'lovely warrior goddess', you idiot! Only Rosh-honey can call me that!"

Rosh threw Xi-an a fierce glare. "You shut up! You're only making things worse, you psychotic Barbie!" He turned his attention to Koun. "Enemy of women? Dude, seriously, what the HELL have you been smoking? I didn't even know the psychotic Barbie until earlier today, which is something that I will regret for the rest of my life!"

Crimson's former subordinate scowled at him, not liking at all his chosen nickname for her. "Don't call me that, Rosh-honey! My name's Xi-an! Xi-an!"

Luke rubbed his head and groaned under his breath. The migraine had just invited its younger siblings along for the ride. At this rate, he would need the full bottle.

Ignoring the side conversation going on around him, Ranma continued to address the Jedi Master, "You can't afford to trust people like her; I know their type all too well. They pretend to be your friend and gain your trust and then -BAM!- they betray you at a critical point. She's trying to fool you into thinking that she won't make any trouble; however-," his eyes narrowed and his voice became harsher. "-She doesn't fool me, not even in the slightest. I do not care to live in the same place with a known enemy. Please move clear, Skywalker, I can at least remove one more monster from this galaxy."

Keeping his senses on alert, just in case, Luke used the Force to emit waves of calm. "I have used the Force to verify her intentions. I sincerely believe that she doesn't mean us any harm in any way, and of this minute, Xi-an has no desire to return to the Disciples of Ragnos."

"She could be faking it," Rosh suggested, taking a breather from the three-way argument going on between him, Xi-an, and Twitkeat.

"Possible," Ranma admitted. "Though I'm certain that Luke Skywalker would not be so easily deceived by someone possessing an inferior level of mastery in the Force."

"I wouldn't be," Luke asserted. Then his features hardened and the Force added an edge to his voice. "Now stand down! That is not a request!"

Ranma didn't want to take the chance of Xi-an Phu putting a vibroblade in their backs, but nor did he want to be at odds with Skywalker. He paused for a moment, and then holstered his gun. "I don't know how you plan to contain her, but hear me now. Regardless of what you said about her intentions, if my instincts tell me that she's planning something, I will not hesitate to stop her at any cost."

Luke gazed into Ranma's eyes and saw that the younger man meant it completely. Normally, he would have decried such an announcement as an act of the Dark Side, but in Ranma's case, it was different. His declaration was spoken with true conviction and in a matter of fact way; there was no hate, or anger, or any other heavy emotion emanating within him.

In fact, Luke found it difficult to sense anything besides a feeling of frozen ice from him. Either the bulk of Ranma's Force potential was so deeply buried within that ice or it was so small as to be almost insignificant. Which one was it?

Putting it aside for now, Luke said, "I understand where your concerns are coming from, and I promise to you that I do have knowledge of a way to render Ms. Phu's Force abilities completely powerless. All I ask is that you trust me in this matter."

Several moments of silence passed. Ranma and Luke locked eyes and then finally an understanding passed between them. Nodding curtly, Ranma bowed to the Jedi Master in respect and walked towards the main entrance. Shooting a confused glance at Luke, Rosh followed him, intent on asking him a few questions.

As soon as Ranma turned his back, the tension escaped from everyone else. Luke sighed out loud, thinking of the possible problems ahead and deactivated his lightsaber. Suddenly remembering to breathe again, the three students dropped gracelessly down to the transport's seats and wiped the sweat off their faces.

Koun glared wrathfully at the retreating figure of Ranma. "Such an ill-mannered peasant; how dare he treat a flower of beauty so?" Turning to face Luke, he said, "Fear not, Master Skywalker. I, Koun Twitkeat, eldest child of the noble Twitkeat family, once of Alderaan, would gracefully allow myself to offer you aid in escorting the paragon of loveliness towards her temporary incarceration."

Barely withstanding the temptation to roll his eyes in amused exasperation, Luke asked him to help Xi-an Phu to stand up.

---

"Hey Korr, hold up a bit! What's the rush? Where you going?" Rosh asked, matching Ranma's quick stride.

"What is it?"

"Look, I can't believe I'm saying this but thanks. Thanks for backing me up there, that is."

"I didn't do it for you. I did what I did because that Xi-an woman is a possible threat. Her leader almost killed me when I fought her, thus implying that Xi-an is well versed in lightsaber combat and Force manipulation. That kind of association is definitely something that I will not overlook."

"Wait a second, you fought her leader?" Rosh asked in disbelief.

"I believe I said that already," Ranma told him.

"Her leader? Short blood-thirsty psycho killer bitch with a red lightsaber?"

Ranma nodded to show that Rosh was indeed on the right track.

"You, you fought her? And won? No way! How the hell did you manage to defeat someone who's armed with a lightsaber and can use the Force like no one's business?"

Ranma gestured at his lightsaber. In reply, Rosh shook his head and said, "Okay, fine, you were also armed with a lightsaber. But even with that, and also plus I'm assuming that you can handle that thing just fine, she had a huge advantage over you with those Force powers of hers!"

"She did," Ranma admitted. "In fact, she had me on the defensive until the very end."

"What happened then?"

A cold smile of satisfaction appeared. "You could say that she...underestimated me."

Rosh was about to ask what Ranma meant by that when he was interrupted by a very familiar voice from behind them, one that twisted his gut into a sudden turmoil of dread.

"Mr. Korr! Rosh! Aiyeeeeeee! Yer both aw'right!"

Rosh twisted his head and looked at Ranma. "Oh gods, please no," he moaned in heartfelt desperation. "Don't tell me that's-"

"Aserna Kowpath'k," Ranma finished, nodding his head in calm resignation. That was all the time they had to react before the over-the-top cheerful Zabrak ex-nurse slammed into them in a tight hug.

While Ranma bore this sign of friendly affection almost indifferently, Rosh had quite a different reaction. Just an hour ago, he had been battered about by rolling downhill over many decent-sized stones and rocks. That meant to apply any kind of pressure against his body was a big no-no.

Unfortunately, Aserna didn't know that.

Rosh almost fainted from the magnitude of pain that ripped through him. It was only Aserna's strong grip that kept him from falling to his knees. Damn, this time had felt even worse than when Xi-an Phu had jumped him!

Quick reflexes or not, Ranma was caught off guard by the glomp. Under the Soul of Ice though, his emotions were suppressed and he didn't feel anything from it, though his body did register the heat of her body as she happily pressed against him.

Cheerfully oblivious to the torture she had just subjected Rosh to, Aserna smiled happily as she slowly released them. She was just so relieved; the whole time they'd been gone she'd been so worried about them that she just couldn't stop talking. Her patients had shared her apprehension. They had to have been worried about the two men also, why else they all had groaned and muttered nonstop?

Then she noticed all the bruises on Rosh's face. Concern instantly replaced her happiness as she reached out to him, wincing at his condition. "Huney, what happened? Who did this ta ya?"

Grimacing at the memory, Rosh shook his head and replied, "Loooong story, and one that I'm not that eager to tell. By the way Aserna, where is everyone and how're they doing?"

"Well, fer some of 'em, they're bein' patched up in Medbay. Th' others are dunked in th' bacta tanks on th' lower levels an' should be gud as new in a week or two!" Then a proud smile lit up her face. "An' guess what! Turns out that Mast'r Skywalker called in one of his form'ah students, a Mon Cal' 'bassador named Cighal, and yers truly's gonna be a Jedi Healer 'prentice ta her!"

"That's good to hear!" For me, Rosh added silently. Thank the Force. For a moment there, he feared that he would be stuck with Aserna practically twelve hours a day. She was nice, but better this Cighal than him, he figured.

Aserna snapped her fingers. "Oh yeah, Ah jus' remembered! I'm s'posed ta take th' both of ya ta Mast'r Tionne fer ya orientation! Come on, off we go ta th' Records room!"

An hour later, Rosh was in the room that he'd been assigned to live in for the duration of his stay. After meeting Mistress Tionne, who was as beautiful as any woman he'd ever seen, who had given him and Ranma the grand tour, they had been assigned to their rooms. The two of them were on the same floor, Rosh at the end of the hall with Ranma near the staircase.

Surprisingly, Rosh had found out that he didn't mind that he was living near Ranma. In fact,considering that Ranma had agreed with him on Xi-an Phu being a threat, Rosh reasoned that since the ponytailed man had both a lightsaber and a blaster, he would be the first line of defense should Xi-an Phu somehow escape and choose to finish Rosh off.

With those thoughts in mind, Rosh began unpacking his baggage case and whistled a cheerful tune, feeling much better.

For the newest candidates, the day finally came to an end. The pilot of the shuttlecraft, along with the Twi-lek couple and one of the Kel'dor males were in sleeping fitfully in Medbay. The rest, being more seriously injured, were peacefully bobbing in the bacta tanks. Aserna was already sleeping in her quarters, as was Dah'kk in his. Rosh soon joined them after he finished his unpacking.

However, for two people, the night was still young.

Xi-an Phu was in her cell, a look of resignment on her face as she reflected upon the sudden change in her life. Outside the cell and assigned to watch her until Mara Jade arrived, Kam Solusar and Koun Twitkeat were bored, though they still kept alert. Kam soon fell into a meditation trance while Koun fell into a lustful, staring trance that confused Xi-an, who didn't know whether to feel angry or flattered.

Despite everything that had happened that day, Ranma Korr wasn't tired at all. He wandered the Academy for a bit, eventually ending up in the cafeteria where he saw Luke and Kyle eating hesitating at all, he headed straight for their table and was bidded by Kyle to have a seat.

"Something on your mind, kid?" Kyle asked.

"More than I wished I had," Ranma admitted expressionlessly. He shifted his attention towards Luke. "Sensei Skywalker, I'll tell you right here and now that once before in my life, I was harshly betrayed by someone I completely trusted, someone I viewed as a role model and looked up to. And in the process of doing so, my life was nearly ruined and I would have allowed myself to die had it not been for Sensei Galdern."

Intrigued and more than a little concerned, Luke managed to temporarily push aside his ambiguous opinion of the boy's character and took a neutral pose. There was still a good two hours before Mara arrived with the ysalamari. In the meantime he would lend an ear and see if he and Kyle could be of any help to Ranma.

"Tell us what you can," the Jedi Master encouraged gently. Kyle rested his arms on the table and leaned forward, his food suddenly forgotten.

Ranma briefly closed his eyes to prepare himself, and then he started talking.

End Chapter 4

Author's Notes:

Yay! I'm back!

I had this thing finished quite some time ago but lacked the interest to post it. Now my muse is back (to stay, hopefully), so I'm posting it up, after a quick editing and polishing up, of course. Later next week, I'll repost revised versions of the earlier chapters. I'll start writing chapter 5 soon.