I'm Here

By: HulaHula

Disclaimer:I do not own anything from the Harry Potter universe. I just borrow them for recess.

“...I’m here . . . ”

Her soft broken voice washed over Remus again. Pressure filled his entire body, leaving everything from his chest down completely numb. He felt so detached from his physical self, yet completely grounded.

Remus could not move. Could not breathe. Could not ask for help. But he could think. He had given up trying to decipher between what was real and what was a dream. However, all of the dreams were actually memories. None of which he regretted. Nymphadora. Always by his side. He could feel her more than hear her. Warmth filled his chest. Her touch had always affected him this way.

Nymphadora had been distressed earlier. Unsure why, he had tried to comfort her, but found himself unable to speak or touch her cheek. The thought of her being in pain itched at the front of his mind. Don’t hurt. Don’t cry. I’m still with you. How he wished he could say these things to her.

It was not as if Remus did not understand what was happening to him. Death was lightly tapping at his door in unison with his shuttered heartbeat. Someone was having trouble breathing. Their tiny gasps consumed his thoughts.

“Does this match?” Her sweet voice echoed forth. Nymphadora stood, barely balanced, on a wooden spindle in front of their window. Glancing over her shoulder, she smiled. Curtains . . . ah, how she had wanted to mimic Molly Weasley when they’d first wed. Buying curtains. And then worrying if they matched! This was not the woman he fell in love with . . .

“You, worried about matching colors?” His amused voice called out . . .

This small snip-it of memory held no real importance. Yet, Remus was suddenly transported there. It was moments like that one that proved to him over and over he had been wrong all those years ago. No matter how old he was or how poor they were – life was not worth living unless they were together.

A warm chill ran up Remus’ back and ended at the base of his skull. He hardly felt the strange sensations coursing beneath his skin. His soul was at the very tip of his existence. Floating shakily like a newborn bird tensing for flight. So close. But then something would call him back.

Quiet whimpering came into focus. Nymphadora? Wait, he could not fly. Could not leave her yet. She was not ready . . . he heard the panting gasps start again.

“It’s from Minerva. She’s offering the Defense position, again.” He sighed, folding the letter a tawny owl had just delivered.

A sigh of disgust sounded from the other side of the kitchen table. “And what excuse are you going to give not to take it this time?” Nymphadora said with a tiny smirk.

“I am thinking . . . a tropical disease eating away at my lever will suffice this time.”

Her face split into a smile. “She’s a stubborn lady you know. I’ll give you . . . two more years before she wins you over. You’ll be back at Hogwarts soon enough.”

A week later, Remus climbed the stone steps up to Hogwarts’ entrance to accept his job offer. Her voice rang through his mind then as clear as it did now . . .

“Stop worrying. If all else fails, I’ll still be here, waiting for you to come back home.”

She had not lied. Nymphadora had always been there for him. Burning flooded the space where his heart would be. The panting became disconnected.

This time he was going to be the one waiting. Waiting for her to come home. Wherever home may be after he died.

Like the ripples in a river fading into smooth glass, the gasping eased into silence.

“I should trim these again.” She whispered, while running a finger over his thick white eyebrow. They were lying beneath the maroon comforter on their bed. Remus smoothed the long sleeve of her white flannel down to the cuff.

“I suppose after seventy-something years of you cutting them I can’t refuse.” He chuckled.

“Seventy-something?” She raised a brow and lightly pinched his earlobe.

“Ow,” he faked, gathering her a tad bit closer, “That hurts you know . . . Besides I leave the actual number of years up to you because you are far more capable of remembering.”

“Seventy-two,” she breathed, lowering her head to rest the crown just beneath his chin.

“That long, eh?” he teased. A moment of still silence fell around them.

“I don’t know what I am going to do when . . . ” she started, snuffling. The medi-wizard had given him until the next full moon to live in their meeting that afternoon. Not a word had been spoken about it until now.

“Do you realize how unhappy you made me when we first met?” Remus mused aloud.

“W-what!” Nymphadora leaned up sharply, eyebrows creased.

“Mhh, you did,"He smiled down into her eyes kindly, “You’re very presence, especially when you were telling me how foolish I was, never let me forget how alone I felt . . . before I met you.”

Brow smoothing to her usual wrinkles, Nymphadora parted her lips to reply, but he lightly placed his hand over her mouth so she would not interrupt.

“You always upset me because I knew you were right. I loved you. But I couldn’t understand why someone like you would want to be here . . . be with me. Thank you, Nymphadora. For everything.”

Glistening tears surfaced at the corners of her blue eyes. Speech abandoned her. Slowly, she moved his hand from her face to their side and lowered her head to his shoulder.

He cleared his throat quickly and spoke again. “I’m not sure what the next few weeks will be like, but I want you to know . . . no matter how long I have left . . . I’ll never truly leave you.”

Logically what he was saying was impossible, but both knew it to be true. Their flat was filled with memories of him. And his memory lived in her heart.

“I know.” She whispered.

Molly Weasley called the appropriate people to come help move the body. After finishing her floo conversation, she eased into the kitchen where Arthur sat with Tonks. Arthur met her gaze sharing that he too was concerned for Tonks’ lack of tears, considering Remus had passed only a half and hour ago. Instead, Tonks was sitting calmly, clutching a warm cup of tea.

When Arthur and Molly had entered the Lupin flat an hour ago, they had found a red-eyed Nymphadora sitting in the same position Arthur had left her in. She had been steadily rubbing Remus’ hair back as the ailing man’s breath became more and more syncopated.

The older couple let Tonks know they were there, but silently agreed to stand at the back of the room until after Remus departed. Tonks did not seem to mind what they didnever takingher eyes off her husband’s face.

Remus Lupin’s passing could best be described as peaceful.

Molly slowly lowered herself into the chair beside Tonks, reaching to pour her own cup of hot drink. She glanced at Arthur then over to Tonks, eyebrows crinkled together. Tonks did not meet her eyes, instead stared at an undefined object across the room. Her expression was not one of shock, merely blank.

Laying a warm palm across Tonks’ hand, Molly said, “Are you going to be alright, dear?”

Tonks suddenly sniffed in a deep breath and straightened her shoulders, turning her gaze to meet Molly’s.

“Yes,” she smiled softly, true happiness reaching her eyes, “Everything is going to be fine.”

“That’s good– ”

“He knew,” Tonks interrupted, “He knew I was there.”

“You’re right– ”

“And he’s here,” Tonks spoke again, eyes crinkling as her smile grew.

Bright eyes began to glance around the kitchen, through the open bedroom door and living area.

“I’ve been so afraid. But, he told me, he did . . . that he would never leave me. I can feel him. He’s here.”

Remus’ deep voice echoed through her memory . . . I’m here.

The End!

I hope everyone likes this. It is probably the hardest fanfic I have ever to written.

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