Leave The Light On

A/N: Yup. I just had to. And yup, those writers really did a number on my Palex heart. But I still have hope. Because we all know that Palex is a beautiful thing, and I’m sure the writers aren’t too dense and can realize this, also. The history, it’s all about the history. That’s what makes them so special.

“You always were the smart one, Paige.”

It took everything, absolutely everything to turn my back and leave her standing there, alone in the middle of the mall. After all we’d been through, I’d actually broken her heart, left it in mere fragments on the floor. It wasn’t payback for all she’d done to me in the past, it simply was me laying down the line, standing up to her, opening her eyes.

Since my house was not a home, it was the very last place on earth I wanted to be, but I had no other alternatives. I should’ve known even before I opened the door that Jay would be sitting on my sofa. He’d been slinking around lately. For whatever reason, I never had the heart to exile him. He’d eventually grow tired of hounding me.

“I’m sorry.”

There was no denying his sincerity. He meant it.

But at least now we had somewhat of an understanding of each other and who we were. I can’t really remember when my feelings for Paige began to develop into something deeper than friendship, but even as far back as when she tripped over me in the hallway, I couldn’t ignore the fact that my heart began to thud when she peered down.

I didn’t understand it. At first I thought it was simply the result of stress, but when she snarled back her icy insult, I instantly liked her. She had spunk. She even frightened me a little, and no one frightened me. I could bicker with her all day if only the school would allow it. I watched her walk away and smirked to myself.

Not only did she have spunk, but she was gorgeous. And her clothes hugged her in all the right places. I remember shaking my head after having thought that, as if it would physically wipe out my feelings of newfound admiration. I was never able to shake these feelings. I had to accept them, and eventually I did.

It was one of those weekends in which the both of us were exhausted from work and school, thus climbing into bed nearly drained all of the energy left in our bodies. I smiled and pulled the sheets up around us and drew myself closer; I couldn’t help noticing how her body served as a cradle to my own. It felt perfect and I never wanted to move.

“Hey, you remember the day you nearly fell over me?” I asked softly.

She giggled into the corner of her pillow and I kissed the back of her neck.

“Of course. Still want to bloody my shirt?” She teased.

I brushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “Right now – I’d rather just rip it off of you.”

I clenched my fists tightly on either sides of me, managing to choke back another set of tears.I knew we’d been through so much. Her kisses still held a power over me, still made me tremble. And that fire still burned in her eyes whenever we touched. It was all still so new; we’d never even been intimate. Her scent was still on my clothes, in my hair. It was hard to comprehend that it was over. Officially. A tear escaped me and I wiped it away angrily. No, be positive for once. Nothing is set in stone.

We had something, remember? And we still do. There are no two ways around it. She does love me. She wants me to be happy, lead a better life, leave all this shit behind. But right now we both need to breathe.

Things can change. There’s always that little bit of hope to hold on to. I pressed my fist to my heart and held it there, not allowing the bitterness of our argument fill the void. Right now I was an open wound, but with time I’d heal. And so would she.