Indelible Sin

Author: MoonStarDutchess

Disclaimer: I don’t own FMA

AN: I enjoyed writing this. In case you didn't know, the song is a translation of the FMA closing song Indelible Sin. Just so you know there's a little love scene but it's not descriptive enough to be a lemon and rated M. If you think it is then please let me know then I will change the rating and move it. Please review and no flames please.

Indelible Sin

With you always being in sight, I can manage to draw breath.

After closing the gate, he quit the army, was married and left for the country. It was what he deemed right for himself. . . Or so the blond though. . .

General Riza Hawkeye got off the train and the sunlight hit her face. She hid her eyes from the attacking glares as she walked inside of the train station. When she was finally relieved from the glares, she ran her fingers through her blond, short, face-framing hair and sighed.

She hated being in such close proximity to Roy Mustang. Despite 4 years separation she still loved him. She knew that she didn't stand a chance now that he was married and she wouldn't try even if she did. She wasn't that kind of person. His wife was someone Riza had often spoke to in the past. Grace, the famous flower shop girl had stolen Mustang's heart.

Luckily, she wasn't there to see him and would be there for only a week. She was on her way to her new post in the North and the government asked her about an automail mechanic for the army. The second Ishbal war had just ended two months ago and she was going past Risembool. Hence, she was there to see a certain automail mechanic and she was staying with her for the week.

She went to an inn to check in so she could get cleaned up. It wouldn’t be proper for her to visit looking the way she did after a long train ride. After showering, she changed into another uniform. She had all her other clothes sent in advance to the east before she knew she would be stopping by here. She slipped on the shirt and skirt of the redesigned uniform. The shirt was a white dress shirt and the skirt hung slightly above the knee. No butt skirt was included seeing as it was finally deemed impractical. Something the soldiers knew for years. She stared into the stand up mirror after dressing.

She was thirty-one and she didn't look a day older than she did when she was twenty-five. She grinned feeling a little pride in that fact. She was a woman after all and women didn’t like to look aged. She then looked down at the skirt and frowned as she slid her feet into her black heels. She cursed herself for only bringing one set of pants. She wasn’t fond of the new military skirts at all but seeing as she wasn’t likely to go into anymore combat situations, it was recommended she wear it. Yes, Riza Hawkeye now had a semi-permanent desk job. She grabbed her jacket and slid it on. It was pretty much the same style except her bars on the jacket stating her rank.

She had moved up in rank very quickly. She was a Major when she finally took the alchemist test. That was right after Mustang quit. The second Ishbal war broke out and she saved the life of a commanding officer. She was promoted to Colonel for that and then recently was promoted to General by the governing council. She grabbed her hat and suitcase, and then headed out the door.

------------------

She was rather thankful that it was a very short drive from the Inn to the Rockbell house. As she drove closer to the shop, she spotted another house. Parking the car at the end of the small dirt driveway, she got out and began to walk up to Winry’s home. She stops to look at the other house.

“I wonder who lives there?” she mumbled.

She got her answer when three little kids and a black haired man ran into the front yard. She quickly averted her eyes and continued walking. She knew he lived in Risembool but never knew that he lived so close to Winry. She heard one of the kids say to him, “Hey daddy there is a soldier lady.”

Roy Mustang looked up to see a female officer in a uniform walk toward the Rockbells. Even though he was married, he could still appreciate the feminine form and boy did she have a figure!

“Hum, different uniforms,” Grace said, walking up to stand beside her husband. Before he could reply, he heard a squeal. Winry came running off the porch followed by a plethora of puppies.

“RIZA!” she yelled running down the stairs.

Roy's facial expression turned to complete shock as Winry hugged the woman. After she said a few words that Mustang couldn’t hear, Winry, in her excitement, ran and got Riza’s bags.

Meanwhile the puppies ran around Riza's legs. As Riza moved to go help Winry, the pups caused her to fall. She sat up and laughed as the puppies jumped all over her. However, out of all of them, one puppy attracted her attention. It was all black with the only exception being a white spot over its right eye. It licked her face causing her to laugh even more at the rambunctious little puppy. She stood, dusted herself off, and then took off her hat to dust it off before putting it back on her head.

“She cut her hair,” Mustang said to himself. It was back in the style she’d had it when she was younger. He smirked. He still thought that Riza was the most beautiful woman in the world. He supposed nothing would ever change that fact for him. He watched as she bent to pick up the little pup.

“You certainly are a cute little thing,” she said with a bright smile. The pup barked and wagged its tail. Winry walked up to Riza with her bags in hand.

“You can park your car beside the fence while I take your bags in the house.” Riza nodded and sat the puppy down as the other puppies followed Winry. As Riza walked to the car, she noticed that the puppy is happily bouncing along beside her on her right side. She stopped and he stopped and sat, tail wagging non-stop. She grinned a bit and bent down to the puppy.

“Are you following me?” she asked.

The puppy barked in answer. She picked it up, put it on her shoulder and it licked her cheek. She got in the car and moved it up beside the fence. Roy never took his eyes off her through the entire incident.

Grace smiled softly. “Go Talk to her,” Grace said to Roy and took the children into the house.

And if it's for me then that ought to be enough, by itself and yet. . .

Riza got out of the car and sat the puppy down. It whimpered until Riza picked it up once again and scratched it behind the ears.

Winry started to walk out on the porch but didn’t when she spotted Roy walking toward Riza. They needed to talk and she would leave them too it.

“Long time no see,” A voice said. Riza’s heart drops for a moment before she steeled her emotions and went into military mode. She looked up from the puppy in her arms, at Roy.

“Yes, it has been a while.” Riza replied as the puppy squirmed out of her arms and ran off to play.

“How have you been?” he asked.

“Fine,” she answered.

“Can't you say more than one word?”

“When you ask questions that merit it, yes.”

“Finally we're getting somewhere.”

“We were somewhere when I was giving you short answers Mustang.”

He looked surprised at her use of his last name. His heart was slowly shattering at her cold tone.

“It's Roy,” he said, trying to relieve the tension between the two of them.

“Yes, I know,” she replied then sighed. “Is there something that you wanted?”

“Yes, to talk to you. To ask how everyone is.”

“Fuery married Scieszka last fall and is now in the engineering department in the East. Breda is with the Strategy department in central. Havoc is in the legal department, unbelievably, and is married with a baby on the way. Falman is head of investigations in the North where I am heading to take command. Is that enough?”

“No not really. Let’s sit down and have a real talk.” Riza sighed in defeat and nodded. They went over to some nearby chairs and sat down. The tension was still thick until Roy noticed the bars on her uniform and the watch.

“How are things with you? I can tell that you were made General and all but how about that pocket watch?”

“I became an alchemist four years ago and obviously I was made a Major.”

“It doesn't surprise me but how did you make General so quickly?”

“I saved my commanding officer during the war and was promoted to Colonel then just recently they promoted me to General and gave me the Northern command since Olivier Armstrong got transferred to the council in Central.”

Roy looked at her in shock. “You were in the war?”

“Yes, she was,” a voice said.

All little old me ever does is repeat the same old mistakes.

“Trent?” he said and noticed that he and Riza were looking, more like glaring at each other. Trent was the new local blacksmith, how would he and Riza know one another?

“Do you two know each other?” he asks.

“She's the one that was the cause of my lost limb,” Trent replied.

“You should have stayed here and out of Ishbal and you wouldn't have lost your leg. You are lucky that I could get you out with one leg,” Riza said, coolly.

“The military shouldn't have been there to begin with. You all committed mass murder yet again. You are one of the worst.”

“If the military hadn't stepped in when it did other towns would have eventually tried to overthrow the government.”

“It deserves it with the lousy president and council that we have.”

Riza slammed her hand down on the chair arm shocking Roy. She was normally calm when she was angry.

Riza narrowed her eyes at him. “You ungrateful people. You aren't satisfied with anything. One thing goes wrong and you are ready to rebel. You don't deserve a good government! Now get out of my sight before I shoot your other leg off.”

Roy was shocked yet again. That was the first time in all the years that he had know Riza that she ever used that sort of tone of voice. Trent looked at her with hate and walked away. As he left he said, “That is what I expect from a murdering dog of the military.”

Riza laughed sadly and Trent just kept walking. “Me too.” she said finally.

“Riza?” Mustang questioned as she stood and clinched her fist at her side.

“You know sometimes I think it would have been better if Bradley had stayed in power and Archer had killed me when we rebelled.”

“RIZA! I know you don't mean that!” Roy said, standing up beside her. .

“Don't I?” She questioned lowly.

“That’s crazy talk Riza,” he replied.

She turned and looked Roy in the eye. Her eyes were empty and cold.

“I believe we have talked long enough,” she said, walking by him.

“Good day Mustang. I don‘t think we will be speaking ever again.”

She walked up the stairs of the shop and went inside.

How much strength do I need to come by before I can

get by without hurting anything?

She fired off shots of fire and ice and of wind so fast that it cut down like blades and all of the people fell. Dead, she had used her alchemy to kill. She would have to walk through all the corpses that were rotting in the sun to get back to camp. The man beside her had a hand on her should trying to console her and himself. That man was Denny Broch. Maria Ross had been killed three weeks prior. Two days later Denny would suffer the same fate. The day after that, she was out on the battlefield again, using her alchemy to kill.

As she walked by the bodies left behind, the stench hit her and she looked around. On top of the rubble was a little girl holding tightly to her teddy. . . Riza had killed her. Riza was scared. Not because of the people she killed but because she needed no comfort from people. She almost enjoyed killing the Ishbalans. Deep inside she knew she was wrong, but in the present, it felt good to take her anger out on something, to put no effort into killing them. They certainly didn’t put up much of a fight.

Riza woke up breathing heavy. Looking out the window, she realized that it was dawn and no one in the house was up yet. She got dressed in a long yellow flowing dress with red flowers. It wasn't typical clothing for reason but it was a change. She needed a change of pace. She needed a chance to be Riza instead of General Riza Hawkeye. Instead of an alchemist for the state, she needed to have no ties to her alchemy.

She walked out the back of the shop and up onto the green hill. She sighed and realized that by impulse she had her gun in her hand. She looked at it and frowned. What kind of person was she that would still carry the very gun that killed so many?

After the war, after she had time to reflect upon the things and she’d gotten drunk, which was something that she never thought that she’d ever do. She then felt remorse for every thing. Eventually she had figured out why she had so much anger in Ishbal. She figured out why she killed so many without a tinge of remorse.

Roy walked out onto his back porch and spotted Riza on the hill. With the dress flowing around her, she looked like something out of a painting. The sun was just rising, casting a beautiful background for the beautiful woman. He ran into the house and grabbed a camera, remembering Hughes for a split second. He ran out and snapped several pictures.

It was then that he noticed the gun in her hand and he tensed up. He hadn't seen a gun or any weapon in a while. It was almost as if the little community he now lived in outlawed them or something. Apparently not because if that was the case she wouldn’t be here. She wouldn’t come to a place that would ask her to give up her weapon. Then he saw something that tore his heart into shreds.

Riza looked down at the gun and her memories flashed before her. She threw the gun to the ground and turned toward the horizon, tears flowing down her face. She finally dropped to her knees crying in gut-wrenching sobs. How many people had she killed that would never able to see another beautiful sunset. How many would never get to see their children, that survived, grow up? And it was because of her.

When she fell to her knees Roy wanted to go to her and hold her, but he couldn’t. He was married and it wouldn't be respectful to his wife. He didn't love Grace like everyone thought, but when she became pregnant he did the honorable thing and married her. It had killed him to leave Riza behind because he loved her. He sighed and realized that he never told her the truth.

He heard someone walk behind him and place a hand on his shoulder. “Go on. I know you want to,” his wife said behind him. He turned around and looked at her in shock. “I know that you love her and I know you don't love me. To be honest, I don’t love you either. Neither one of us are happy and even our children are sensing it. Kara asked me the other day if we were mad at each other Roy.”

Before he could respond, an explosion rocked the morning silence. They quickly looked t to Riza who was standing and had the gun back in her hand. She looked over the hill to see that the train depot had exploded.

Grace and Roy ran up hill toward Riza as Winry ran out and up to her as well.

“What in the heck happened?” Grace asked.

“Winry, call the military in the east. Tell them what happened. I am going down to the depot.”

“Is that a good idea?” Roy asked. “You don’t have any backup.” Riza didn’t reply and ran toward the depot.

Smoke filled the air and she saw two young men running from the rubble. She fired a shot igniting a ring of fire around the two. They collapsed from the smoke inhalation and she extinguished the fire. A local man gave her some rope to tie the two up.

“Thank you Major,” Riza said to the young man back in the Rockbell house. The young Major saluted and walked away. The house was now empty except for her and Roy. He walked up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. .

“Did they find out why those two men caused the explosion?” he asked.

Riza looked at him and nodded.

“Why?” he asked.

“That information is restricted to military personnel.”

“I see,” he said, and sighed. She started to walk away when he grabbed her arm.

She turned toward him and glared. “What are you doing?” she asked. He let go of her arm, she walked upstairs, and into the room where she was staying and would be staying for the two weeks it took to get the train track fixed at the depot.

“Go on, I know you want to.” Grace's voice echoes in Roy’s head as Riza left the room. He rushed in her room and she turned. Before she realized what was going on, he pinned her to the bed.

“MUSTANG!” She snapped at him.

He pushed her harder into the bed. “Roy! It's Roy Dammit!”

His lips met hers in a hard kiss.

I am not going to stray, I'm going to trust this love, and with it I will go on living.

Her body screamed at her but despite her better judgment she started to kiss him back. Oh god! The sparks were there after all this time. She felt chills all over her body as feeling his pressed against her. Suddenly her mind took over and she abruptly broke the kiss. He didn't let her up off the bed and he looked in her eyes.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked.

“I love you. That is why.”

This ran straight through her making her angry. She started to but only succeeded in getting him to tighten his grip on her wrists.

“You're married!”

“I know that and she told me to go to you. I don't love her and she doesn't love me. Never has.”

She started to fight him even more. She knew that if she wanted to she could break free. She realized that she didn’t want to. She wanted to sleep with him. She wanted to feel him insider her body, touching her like he never could before. Married or not she wanted him to, put it bluntly, fuck her. Roy continued to speak. “We were dating and she got pregnant. I had to do the right thing but now she wants out as well.”

He kissed down her neck along her jaw line and Riza held back a moan.

“Stop fighting this Riza. I know you want to do this. Stop fighting,” he said, a slightly pleading tone graced his voice.

She gave up her struggles and he kissed her. He let go of her wrists and her hands moved to tangle in his hair.

He undressed her and himself, and then crawled upon her, kissing down the length of her body then back up again. He got off her and picked her up, depositing her under the covers as he crawled in pulling the covers over their heads and they began something that was long overdue.

He left a while after. He still had children that wanted to see their father before their bedtime and Riza had to write-up some reports on the explosion.

She was currently sitting writing such a report. It was apparently a terrorist attack. However, why they were targeting such a small town was beyond her. She wouldn’t stress over it. It was out of her jurisdiction anyway. No people got hurt, and it was minimal damage that could be repaired in a few weeks.

She still cursed the attack not because of the danger to the public though. In a way, it was the catalysts for what happened between her and Roy. It caused her to have to stay in the town for two more weeks. The tension would be thick and she would have to avoid Roy for the remainder of her stay here. What happened shouldn’t have happened and she felt dirty because regardless whether or not he loved Grace, it was wrong that she slept with a married man

She looked at the clock and noticed that it was after ten. She stood and got ready to go to bed. She frowned when she got under the covers. Despite changing the sheets, she could still smell him. She could still smell their lovemaking. She withheld tears over the fact that it could never happen again and she drifted off to sleep, the withheld tears falling down her cheeks.

“Roy, can I speak to you,” Grace asked, as he was getting ready to sleep in the guest room. It was becoming a more comfortable place to sleep than with Grace.

“Yes,” he said and sat down beside her.

“Roy, I'm pregnant again,” she said.

Roy sat there dumbfounded at first then recovered. He could only stare at Grace. He couldn’t just leave her alone. Then his mind wandered to Riza. He loved her with everything inside him, every fiber of his being, but; he also loved his kids. He wouldn't give them up. He wanted to see them everyday and that would not be possible if he went with Riza.

“We are staying together right?” he said.

She looked up at him. “What about Riza? You love her don't you?”

“There’s nothing there anymore,” he lied to her.

“Roy!” she fell into his arms and cried into his chest, “I lied and said I didn’t love you so you could be happy, I really do love you!”

He refused to ever utter those words to another woman other than Riza so he just held the crying Grace in his arms.

I'm gonna take these wounds, the ones that will not close, and I am going to squeeze them tight!

Riza did a good job avoiding Roy for the next week and a half. However, one morning Riza woke up and instantly felt sick to her stomach. She went to the bathroom and proceeded to throw up the previous night's dinner. The little puppy, which had grown quite fond of her, walked in and watched, his head tilted. Knowing something was wrong he ran into Winry's room jumping on the bed and barking to wake her up.

She woke up and groaned. After a few more tries by the puppy, Winry sat up.

“Okay, okay, I'm up” The puppy bounces off the bed and ran towards the door as if he was waiting for her. She followed the puppy to the bathroom and then she spotted Riza throwing up in the toilet.

“Riza! Are you alright?”

“I am fine. Just got sick,” she said, standing up unsteadily. Winry grabbed her and led her back over to the bed so she could lie down.

“I'm going to go call doctor Callaway,” she said running out of the room. The puppy whimpered and looked at her. She looked over at the puppy and patted the bed beside her stomach. It barked once and jumped upon the bed, cuddling in the very spot she patted.

----------------

Meanwhile, Roy was at the doctor’s with Grace. They were sitting in his office when his phone rang.

“Excuse me” he said and answered it.

“I see, what is the woman’s name? Miss Riza Hawkeye? All right, I will be there Winry. Goodbye.” He said, hanging up the phone.

Roy and Grace looked up at the doctor when Riza's name was spoken. Roy’s stomach tied itself in knots.

“Is Riza all right?” Grace asked being the sweet person she was.

“I'm sure it is nothing, I must go though.”

“I understand, thank you doctor.”

The doctor arrived at the Rockbells and checked Riza. As soon as I get your blood work back, I will give you the results. I will have your results tomorrow morning. When were you planning on leaving?

“Tomorrow morning but I will wait until the next day if necessary.”

“All right,” the doctor said, putting on his hat.

“Thank you doctor,” she replied.

The doctor nodded and left. Shortly after the visit, there was another knock at her door. “Come in,” Riza said standing over at the dresser. She looked pale and was queasy. She frowned when Roy came through the door and shut it behind him.

“Riza, we need to talk.”

“I should offer you congratulations on your upcoming child,” she said. Winry had told her about the news Grace had given her.

“You know why I have to stay right?”

“I never recall you saying that you were going to leave,” she said looking in the mirror at his reflection.

“You should have figured that out.”

“No, I didn't.”

He walked up behind her and kissed her shoulder where her robe had dropped down.

“Go away,” she said. Her mind screamed at her to not let him hurt her again.

She grabbed her gun off the dresser and pointed it at his chest.

“Get away from me Mustang!” she snapped at him.

“Riza?” he questioned surprised at the tone of voice.

“Get out please,” she said calmly. “I don’t want you near me. Just leave.”

He walked up to her and the gun presses into his chest. He knew that she couldn’t shoot him as well as she knew it.

He lifted her chin and looked directly into her eyes.

“I love you,” he said, kissing her lips passionately. His hands found her waist and held tightly. He hoped that she would respond he needed to kiss her once last time. She kissed him back for a second then pushed out of his grasp stumbling at bit because she got dizzy. She turned her back to him. “Goodbye Mustang,” she said.

His heart broke beyond repair in that room. “Goodbye,” he finally replied sadly and walked out. When she heard the main door shut, she dropped to her knees in gut wrenching sobs.

Why was she crying? Her mind screamed at her for doing so. She was a general in the Amestris military! She wasn’t supposed to cry over a man. She was better than that!

The little pup watched her and then walked over to her, putting it's pawls on her legs. He whimpered and she looked down at it and smiled through her tears. She picked the puppy up and went over to sit on her bed.

“Are you trying to cheer me up? I get the feeling you like me don't you?”

The puppy barked and licked her face, causing her to laugh.

“Well little guy. I must admit that you are a smart little thing.”

The next morning Winry was helping Riza pack her bags. Winry began to laugh hysterically. Riza turned to the young woman.

“What are you laughing about?” Winry pointed at one of the bags. There was something sticking out of it and it was moving. Riza smiled, walked over to the bag and unzipped it all the way. Suddenly, the little pup that had grown attached to her jumped up and barked. Its tail, which was the thing that was moving, was wagging excitedly.

“Looks like you got yourself a new puppy. It's been a while since Hayate passed away.”

“I guess so, if you don't mind me taking him?”

“Not at all,” she said.

The phone rang and Winry answered it.

“Yes, she's right here.”

She handed the phone to Riza.

“Hello?” Riza said.

“Miss Hawkeye, this is Doctor Callaway. I have the results to your blood test. Miss Hawkeye, you are pregnant. Congratulations.”

Riza was frozen in shock and fear. For a few seconds she didn’t know what to say. How does one reply to news like that? She finally recovers enough to speak to the doctor.

“Thank you doctor. I would greatly appreciate if this can be confidential.”

“Everything always is Miss Hawkeye. Once again, congratulations,” the said before they hung up.

“How's everything? Did the doctor find out what was wrong?” Winry asked. Riza sat down on the bed, completely stunned at the news. She could only nod.

“It was just a bug like I thought right?” Winry asked. Riza shook her head.

“Then what. . .”

“I'm pregnant,” Riza interrupted.

Winry's eyes widened for a moment she was too stunned to speak. The she recovered rather quickly. “What! Are you going to tell Roy?”

Riza looked up surprised. “How did you know?”

“I wasn't born yesterday. He went in your room and he didn't come back out for hours.”

Riza blushed.

“Well are you?”

Riza thought about it and subconsciously placed a hand on her stomach. She couldn’t interrupt the family life he had here. She was sure he wouldn’t care considering he had to worry about his baby with Grace. “No I'm not. He has a family to worry about already.”

Winry’s stomach dropped. Surely Riza wouldn’t. . . “Riza, you aren't going to. . . Kill it . . . are you?”

“You mean an abortion I take it?”

“Yea, are you going to?”

Riza shook her head. She could never do anything like that. A baby was a precious gift regardless of the circumstances of how it came to be. “Of course not Winry. This baby stays. I’ll raise it the best I can.”

Winry smiled at the woman and prayed that someday Riza would find someone to love her and that baby.

The two of us will keep on walking, and never come back again.

“Are you sure about not telling Roy?” Winry asked Riza. She honestly didn’t like the idea of Roy not knowing but it was Riza’s choice. She wouldn’t mention anything about it to him.

“Yes, I am sure.”

“All right then. You be sure to tell me when your due date comes close and I will come help you if you want!” she said happily.

“I will,” Riza replied.

They hugged and Riza got on the train.

As the train pulled out of Risembool, The puppy crawled into Riza’s lap and nuzzled her stomach as if it knew what was growing inside. She placed a hand on her stomach and said, “The two of us will be just fine little one. I will keep on walking and not look back.”

Even now, deep within my heart, this indelible sin still pains me.

Roy was sitting on top of the hill behind his house and watched the train left; carrying the woman he loved and always will love. He didn’t realize that she was carrying an indelible sin yet a gift from heaven within her.