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Chapter Nine: Vulnerable
Sara’s eyelids hung low as she hesitantly returned the look. “ I’m scared.” She answered in a hoarse voice.
Grissom didn’t doubt her. She looked absolutely terrified. “Do you always have nightmares like this?” He asked, unconsciously playing with a strand of her hair between his fingers.
Sara sighed. “Pretty much, sometimes it’s like I’m actually there and I can’t seem to wake up. It scares the crap out of me, to be honest. The doctor told me that sometimes I just stop breathing in my sleep. My body reacts to a nightmare with ASD, ‘acute stress disorder’. I was diagnosed with it when I was tested for a sleep disorder.”
“Polysomnogram?” He wondered aloud.
She took a deep breath. “Why d’ya think I don’t sleep?” She asked. The sarcasm was evident in her shaky voice.
Grissom took a moment to process and formulated his next question carefully. “Sara, I-I didn’t hear much, but could you tell me what it was about exactly?” He asked pulling her against him gently.
Sara took a sharp intake of breath and closed her eyes. She moved into him trying to calm herself down. “I was trying to hide from my father when he came into my room for his nightly uh…’routine’. The afternoon the day before he had beat me with a baseball bat because-.” Her mind went blank as she tried to remember. “I don’t even remember why.” She shrugged. “I was scared more than ever from that afternoon on. When he came into my room that night I was still really scared and I tried to fight him off but-.” Her voice got stuck in her throat as she tried to swallow her tears. “But what the hell can a seven-year-old girl do against a drunk adult male?” She huffed.
Grissom gently pushed her away and cupped her chin to make her look him right in the eyes. Grissom opened his mouth to speak but Sara interrupted him. “How did you get me here?” She asked suddenly shocked.
Grissom turned his eyes away for a moment before he spoke. “I brought you home. You fell asleep in the car and I couldn’t wake you after what happened. So I brought you inside and tucked you into bed. Do you remember waking up?” He asked releasing her chin, not quite sure how she’d react.
Sara squinted. “Yeah, vaguely. It’s coming back. Piece by piece.” She stated with a steadier voice than before.
“If you go back to sleep, do you think you will have another nightmare?” He asked.
“I don’t know.” She answered lowering her eyes.
Grissom gripped her arm, which made her return her eyes back to his. “Do you want to go back to sleep?” He asked looking her straight in the eyes.
A flash of vulnerability passed over her eyes. “Will you stay here?” She asked.
The look in her eyes broke his heart, not to mention the sound of her voice. He didn’t hesitate or doubt for a moment. “Always.” He confirmed placing a kiss on her forehead. He softly placed her down on top of him, laying her head on his chest.
He slowly pulled the phone out of his back pocket. Without even looking at the caller-ID he picked up the phone and flipped it open. He glanced over at Sara who didn’t seem to have woken up by the sound as he brought the phone to his ear. “Grissom” He answered distracted.
“Hey, it’s Cath” Catherine said maybe a bit too chippy. “How’s she doing?” She asked with a maternal tone.
“I got her home safe, I tucked her in, She woke up, She asked me to stay with her, I did, She fell asleep in my arms, she had a nightmare, I got scared, I woke her up, cried and talked with her and now she’s sound asleep in my arms again.” He stated in one breath.
“Wow.” Catherine breathed out quite overwhelmed. “Don’t do anything stupid Gil, do not let it all out. She needs her best-friend right now. She doesn’t need things getting even more complicated right now. Just don’t take advantage of the situation.” She said compassionately.
“Isn’t Nick her best-friend?” He asked realising Catherine was right.
Catherine sighed at the other end of the line in frustration. “Yeah Gil, Nick is her best friend. If you want my opinion, she’s your soul mate. That goes way over the best-friends head!” She yelled.
Grissom was shocked by the sudden outburst and gripped Sara tighter around the shoulders. “Shhh…! She’s still asleep.” He hissed.
“Okay, okay! Just one question.” Catherine said defensively. “Do you love her?” She asked tentatively. “I just need to know.”
With that question something in Grissoms heart snapped. His eyes watered at the sight of all his moments with Sara flashing before his eyes. “Yes Catherine. Yes, I love her. I love her with all of my heart. I love her more than life itself and I just can’t stand to see her hurt like this!” He stated with a trembling voice, chocking back a sob.
Catherine smiled at the other end of the line. This was the first time in the years she worked with him that she finally managed to break Gil Grissom. “Good, just don’t tell her that, yet. Tell her when it’s right. Tell her when she can think clear. Tell her when she needs to hear it.” She told him completely satisfied of the impression she left on him. “I’m gonna let you go now. Just take good care of her okay!?” It was a statement more than a question in her case.
Grissom glanced over at Sara. She was sleeping peacefully. “I will, thanks Cath.” He said as he closed his phone and reached over Sara to put it on the bedside table. When the phone made contact with the table Sara stirred. Grissom groaned. “Oh my god, she’s irresistible! How the hell am I supposed to keep my hands off of her?” He asked himself.
He leaned back and softly placed his hand on her cheek. He sighed as he traced her jaw line with his fingers. As he slowly moved his head closer to hers, he whispered in her ear. “You’re too good to be true.”
He was silently praying that somehow she heard him. Just for reassurance.
The only thing that was present in Sara’s subconscious was the feeling of being absolutely safe.
Written by: Kacey Cunningham ©
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