Somewhere Out There

Summary: Gil and Cath know that their love is somewhere out there, they just need to find it. Sequel to Like We Never Loved at All/The Best I Ever Had.

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters of CSI.

A/N: Gil and Catherine are working in Catherine’s office, just to clear things up since this is a POV chapter.

Chapter 1

Gil’s POV

I need to stop looking at her. I know she knows I’m doing it. She keeps looking up and seeing me quickly look down at my papers. This is pathetic. I shouldn’t bring it up. There’s no point, it happened so many years ago and she’d probably hate me forever if I brought it up.

Still, it’s so hard to not wonder, to not think about it. I see her and I automatically think about it. I guess it’s apparent I’m not going to get over her. If I haven’t done it by now I certainly am never going to. I mean, in those 15 years, I’ve been on 5 dates with 4 different women. I’ve only slept with 2 of them. 15 years, 5 dates (not counting the times I’ve been out with Catherine) and I’ve only had sex twice. Either I’m very alright with being abstinent or I’m in very deep with Catherine. And considering I keep looking at her and think about that night every time I see her, I think the second one is a safe bet.

She’s looking at me now. I can feel it. Her eyes feel like lasers on me. Should I look up? Alright, I’ll go for it. Now we’re looking at each other, face to face. Maybe I should saying something.

“Cath?”

“Yeah,” she answers. Alright, now what do I say? I didn’t think that far ahead.

“Uh, nothing.” She goes back to her paperwork. That was real smooth of me, wasn’t it? Maybe I should try this again.

“Hey, Cath.”

“Yes, Gil?” Her answer seems a little more agitated now. Deep breath, I can do this. This is Catherine, she’s my best friend. It’s not that big of a deal to bring it up.

“Did you...” Now the words are caught in my throat. She’s probably thinking that I’m acting so strange.

“Did I... what?”

“Did you ever think about that night?” Alright, it’s out of my mouth. Now the ball is in her court. Still, I feel so nauseous about her answer. I mean, what if she doesn’t even understand what I said? I didn’t elaborate on what “that night” was.

“Sometimes,” she says to my surprise. She didn’t need me to elaborate? Maybe that means she thinks about it a lot more then she’s letting on. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

“Well, what exactly do you... think... about it?” I choose my words carefully.

“Gil, can we not talk about this please? I mean, it happened so long ago. There’s no point in opening old scars.” There’s my answer. It was a painful time to her, she obviously doesn’t think of me that way and it was a spontaneous one night stand. It’s disappointing, but it’s a relief to me also. At least now I have some closure on this situation.

I know, it's short. Don't sue.