A/N: Thank you for the reviews. I am hoping for some more, but it is only the beginning. Please read & review.

Disclaimer: It's all Tamora's, but if she ever wanted to give them to someone, I'm sure it will be me. :D

Recap:

As the Tortallan army retreated back to the palace and other fiefs to rest for the night and tend to the wounded, they couldn't here the crying of women that were carried down by the wind and see the red sky as the sun was setting, marking another day of bloodshed and more to come.

Chapter 2: A Wish

If I can have one wish…it would be to end all of this and have peace in the world. But, then again it's only a wish.

Kel always seemed to have a Yamani mask on at all times. There were no more moments of happiness and no more carefree days. She had seen to much death and mutilated bodies to really be able to feel any emotion. Being a knight had already made her a hardened warrior, even though she was still young and a new made knight not quite long ago. Times have changed, Kel. Times have changed… That was one thing that Kel understood because she lost so many friends and people she knew, too much to even count. The Black God has met many already.

"I'm scared… who will die next?" With the thought of so many dead already and more to come, Kel couldn't help but think of all her closest friends lying on the field of blood and sorrow.

"What about you Dom? What about you?" Kel was in her room at the palace, sitting on a large wooden chest filled with clothes.

She worried for Dom, when he didn't even know that Kel had a certain affinity towards him. A little something more that was given to no one else but Dom. One might notice little difference in her behavior but for the Yamani such as Yuki, Princess Shinko, and those closest to Kel the most would see the total change of her usual demeanor. Those quick glances that some people might not even see her doing at all, to a sudden mask whenever Dom was around her. It was seemingly clear that Kel was truly in love.

An endless heartache plagued her at all times of the day, as if a spear or sword was suddenly driven into the core of her misleading heart in a situation like this. Kel thought her love for Dom was something that should never have meant to be. Something that was impossible, but everyday a voice inside her head, told her this was right, told her that everything would be fine, but that was hard to believe especially to Kel who was as lifeless and unemotional as a statue.

Life really didn't have much more to offer after seeing all of its bad sides.

"Kel, the bell has rung for midday, don't you want to eat?" the voice was gentle yet loud, with a fatherly quality. Kel knew that voice much too well. Raoul's voice. She wanted to say no to the question, but it wasn't really a question if Raoul said so. He was a born commander and Kel didn't want to be forced out by him, it would be quite an embarrassing site if people were to see the Second Lady Knight dragged to eat midday mess.

"Yes, my lord, I'll be out in a few minutes." She said back to the closed door, where Raoul's big form would be standing.

"Make it quicker than a few minutes Kel, I'm starving out here." Even with the war still continuing, Raoul still had his humor.

Kel swiftly wore her comfortable boots and made her self look presentable. Brushing her hair and pulling her shirt about really didn't help much when she looked at herself in the full-length mirror.

From going into a deep inner depression of sorrow, Kel had lost a tremendous amount of weight and looked very pale. Beneath her eyes were purple like bruises and bags from lack of sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, Gainel sent her very disturbing dreams. Kel was always healthy and well fed but now she was frail and seemed to look as if the wind would blow her over in one single blow. Her bones were easily visible through her skin and her clothes were a bit bigger than they were before.

Many people were worried for her health and well-being, a fear crept onto every single person who cared for Kel, the war might not kill her, but she might kill herself from the sorrow and depression.

With a sigh Kel reluctantly opened the door to meet Raoul. I hate looking at myself in the mirror now. I hate myself for all of this.

"Kel, you look horrible, are you ok?" Raoul was naturally concerned for his former squire, who usually never got sick on her own accord.

"I'm fine, Raoul, really I am." Kel knew she wasn't fine, but it was a habit of hers to say this.

"Let's go now." Kel slowly walked down the hallway down to the mess hall appointed to Knights. Kel cringed, thinking of what Neal might say about her health and the way she looked.

Kel heard the steady footsteps behind her, more vigilant than ever, sometimes even jumpy when hearing a sudden sound. Fighting in a war taught her to expect all these movements.

Thinking hard about how to deal with Neal, Kel didn't realize that her feet brought her to the door of the Mess hall. As silently as possible she opened the door slowly, the whispering of the wood swishing the air.

The sound of eating and enjoyable conversation halted, as an audible creak in the door was made. For Mithros' sake can I do anything right! Better get it over with now…

She opened the door all the way and walked in. People staring at her, shocked by her presence. Raoul crept up behind her, noticing the silence.

Kel didn't care anymore and just walked by as if nothing happened. She walked up to one of the servants handing out the meals. She got her tray and sat down near her friends, Merric, Cleon, Neal, Owen, and usually on a few rare days, Prince Roald.

They looked at her with anxious, worried glances. Neal worried the most.

Kel didn't even know why she got food; she tasted nothing and felt nothing. With her fork, she lazily moved her food around, not caring at all. She was silent, not saying a word to anyone. Neal talked first, "Kel, you have to eat, to keep up your strength."

Kel looked at his emerald green eyes, filled with horror from healing the wounded. She couldn't hold the sadness within her, a tear leaked and slowly rolled down her cheek. My own feelings have betrayed me. Her mask just cracked and fell apart as if a dam just exploded.

Soon her face was covered in tears and was wet. The men she was friends for her whole life at the palace, stared in absolute wonder and surprise. They never saw her cry openly like this. Kel tried to stop herself from crying, but she couldn't stop, it was as if her body was no longer able to control it self.

Everyone heard her cry and stared at the great Second Female Knight, exposing her emotion before them.

Kel tried to move the tray of food away from her, suddenly feeling nauseous, but her body actually hauled the food up and threw it at a nearby wall. The glasses cracked and its pieces were dispersed in many directions.

No one moved. They just watched as Kel was displaying her anguish, her sadness, her frustration with the world. A few tears led to sobs. She cried so hard that she had difficulty breathing and she coughed and hacked.

Neal was the first to move. As a healer and friend, Kel needed him. She burrowed her head into her arms that were on the table.

"Kel… Kel…? Calm down, Kel. Can you hear me?" he whispered hurriedly.

Kel grabbed him by his shirt collar, in a speed so amazing. "Leave….ug…ug…ug…me….ug…alone…" She desperately replied.

If she continues like this…She's hyperventilating. Neal brought a gleaming emerald hand down to bring Kel into a calm, relaxed sleep, but she shoved him away and ran away from him. She bumped into tables and benches, blinded by tears, and destroyed the door on her way out. It was knocked and ripped from its hinges.

"Raoul, go get Lady Alanna and my father. Tell them what has happened to Kel, and if they find her, knock her unconscious. She isn't going to listen to us. We have to find her fast. She's in no condition and…" Neal didn't even want to say it.

Raoul quickly understood and sprinted to the room of Alanna first.

Kel hardly knew where she was going, but let her legs take her anywhere. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't breathe while running. Weakening very quickly, Kel crumbled to her knees in the palace garden. She was huffing very badly as if she was out of shape. She still cried, her face wet and cold from the winds sweeping past her. Her body felt numb, and her stomach nauseous after that run. She threw up the contents of her stomach which held nothing but acid came spewing out of her mouth.

Kel felt sick for the first time, never like this. She fell from her knees to the side of her stomach, the grass cushioning her fall. She heard her waning sob and labored breathing. Her heart a faint thump. She closed her eyes slowly waiting for the comfort of peace. Before she succumbed to the darkness and held it tight, Kel heard the sounds of people running hard and fast towards her. A short red haired person at the lead. Her vision was blurring and hearing… quite faint. All she heard was a scream from a women and yells from men she couldn't recognize.

"Kelllllllllllll…nooooooooooo!"

Then her heavy eye lids closed on her, seeing no more.

A/N: I had to work on this chapter very hard to bring all the emotions and express them in a way that you guys would understand. I'm terribly sorry for not updating and I will try to update more. I cried while writing this chapter because it saddens me to make Kel feel this way. I will update ASAP for this and all my other stories soon. Thanks for waiting. I hope you like it. R&R!

Thanks for the prior reviews. I appreciate everything.