Cutting Dry.

Kairi X Sora

Sometimes I like to sit and wonder. It's something I do all the time.

Maybe it's because of him... Maybe when my eyes drift off across the ocean and I spot his shadow perfectly casted along the sand, my mind sparks. My time with him is far from limited. Maybe it's because he promises that one day we will escape from this island.

And we can't forget the other...

The other's silver hair whips around his face as the wind gently carresses him eyelids. His eyes are shut.

Why are his eyes shut?

"Hey, Riku," I pause and then continue, "open your eyes."

"Hush, Kairi... I'm thinking."

I shrug in defeat. I just would like to wonder why he would hide from the scenery... It doesn't matter for long, because I see him again. He walks over to me... his footprints lay in the sand perfectly..

Perfect. Just like him.

"Hey, Kairi." he studders. It's so cute...

"Hey... what's up, Sora?" I smile warmly at him... he rubs his arm. I look at his arm. It's covered.

Covered.

Is he hiding something? He's wearing a sweater. He fumbles with the chain hanging from his shorts. I stare at him a bit longer, the silence more than awkward.

"Well, it was nice talking to you." he said, starting off for the docks. I nod and then watch him leave. Maybe I should have stopped him. Shouted out, 'Wait, Sora, I love you!'... or maybe he was meant to walk off. Like another part of my destiny untwirling...

Then, day turned to night, tomorrow into today...

I sat in the same spot as the day before, staring at my shoes. I looked up for a brief second, then see him making his way towards me. He still wore a hoodie.

"Hey, Kairi. Want to take a walk with me?" he extended his hand out to me, I grab hold and hoist myself off the moist sand. We walk in silence. I waited for a sign... then it came.

He took off his hoodie.

I looked at his arms, they were covered in a skin tone cover-up. It must have just been a sunburn he was hiding. Maybe it was just him too embaressed to let us watch the skin peel off of his arms. I giggled.

I shouldn't have giggled.

He gave me the weirdest look. Then he put his sweater back on.

"Sora, are you hiding a sunburn from me?" I asked him. He looked down at his shoes, then back up at me.

"Sure." he then walks into the water. I follow, as if I was a lost puppy. He stopped when it reached his knees and sighed. He took of his sweater again and threw it onto the shore. Then he dove under, into the deep. He came back up, as if satisfied that he washed away all his worries.

He went back up and grabbed the zip-up hoodie and put it back on. It wasn't a black hoodie, it was red. I will never forget that red hoodie...It hid so many secrets.

We then made our way to the small island, crossing the bridge. We sat on the paopu tree and listened to the waves. We watched the sun crash down. Then in moonlight bliss, I looked over at Sora. He had his sweater off. I looked down on his arms. The cover-up had washed away, revealing red lines.

Lines of despair.

"Sora..."

"Kairi, you can't tell anyone."

"I won't."

He looked somewhat happy to know that I learned of his cuts. Or maybe it was relief. You know that feeling you get when you hide something from someone and fear that they will find out, but when they do, a huge weight is taken off of your shoulders?

Then he showed me something else. He showed me a whole new world.

The world of a cutter.

I didn't expect myself to get caught up in it, I guess it was just me letting down my guard. When I first witnessed Sora cut himself, it seemed so pleasurable. I cringed a bit at the blood dripping off his arm... But, I asked him for the razor and tried it.

The blade dug into my flesh. I mean, dug into my flesh. I winced and picked up a towel. It was a white towel... And it seemed so perfect... the way it felt when it touched my hands... But soon, my blood made it have it's own imperfection.

It became more frequent. Me going over to Sora's house, sitting in the bathroom, and cutting. I wouldn't just cut my wrists. I would cut my ankles, shoulders, and stomach. It felt good after awhile. I mean, I would get used to it. The razor was like my drug. I couldn't help it, I was addicted.

Then I made a mistake. One simple mistake.

I cut too deep.

I started bleeding everywhere, and I didn't care. Sora screamed in panic and went to get help. It took very little time for me to be at the hospital.

I went into rehab. Have you ever been in rehab? It sucks, trust me. Everyday, they would give me pills and then sit me infront of the oldest people, who asked me how cutting made me feel.

It was hard answering them. I didn't know exactly how it actually did make me feel. So I just would stare blankly and shrug. Then, after the session, I would go into the bathroom and take shaving razors and pick out the blades. I hid it well from everyone.

Cover-up was what Sora suggested. He came up to me one day and said, "Kairi, I never meant for this to happen. But, if you continue, I suggest you use this." then handed me the make-up.

I was released from the prison two months after being admitted. When I first stepped outside, it was like everything had changed. The way things smelled, the brightness of the sun...

I just wish I could change.

So the next time I went to Sora's, I told him I didn't want to be a part of it. He looked at me and hugged me. I guess he was proud... I would sit there and watch him slide the cold medal across his flesh... That's all I needed... was to watch him.

Then one day he asked to meet him at the paopu tree. I went there, happy. I left there changed.

"I hate you." he told me. Why would he tell me that? That's all I heard from him, because I turned and ran. The guy I loved most, the guy who opened up my eyes... He hated me. He used to be all I could turn to. Then, I turned back...to them. I shouldn't have. But, I did. No one knew...

Except for the silver haired other. I told him. I had when he had his eyes closed?

They aren't that way now.

I would sit in my room, with him beside me. We would talk for hours. He helped me get through it... I never loved him that way I did Sora, because he was like my brother. Then one day, when he came through my door, I saw someone behind him...

Someone wearing a red sweater.

Riku just nodded and left. Suttle like a train wreck, Riku. So we sat. The boy and I. Then he finally spoke,

"I only did it so you wouldn't turn back to it."

"Well, I did anyway."

"I didn't mean to."

"Sora, what have you done to me?"

"I'm not sure." he looked down. My clothes were all throughout my room.. My room had death written all over it.

"I love you." is all I had to say. It's all I needed to say.

"I..." he stopped then breathed in, "love you too."

My time with him is far from limited.