Succinct

by Soyokaze

Nighttime was the most suitable time for them to meet. Ashitaka was more than willing to give up the cot and hut he was given to sleep in for a night in the cold forest with the wolf princess. San was more than willing to give up the security of her cave and her brothers to be with him during the rare times he could escape troubles, reparations, and exhaustion. He trekked up to the highest point on a hill just at the edge of the new, dense forest, while the island of iron gazed up at him from the middle of the sparkling, calm lake below. No smoke billowed from its turrets now. The boat in which he had crossed bobbed softly at the water’s edge.

There was a dead tree stump at the top of the hill, one of the few remaining remnants of the Spirit’s desperate search for his missing possession; San usually liked to meet him here, if she felt like it. Ashitaka knelt near it and laid down in the grass, so tall it nearly hid him and so soft he thought that he might be captured by slumber before San met him, and crossed his arms behind his head, content for now to watch the stars in the blackness above him.

The newer, better Irontown was nearing its completion. Lady Eboshi had found a much more suitable means for supporting her people, and the prince believed it made them much healthier, and much happier. The women now grew plants to make silks and other rich fabrics and dyes in the rich soil of the island’s edge, now cultivating the land instead of robbing it, and irrigating their plentiful patches with water from the lake. The men still made deliveries in far towns, now unwary of their trek. If the townspeople killed any plants in their working or any animals for their food, it was a simple and honorable thing to replant what had been taken or to give proper thanks to the dead. He hoped that the promising start would blossom into a peace between the humans and the forest, and that Lady Eboshi’s ways would spread across their world.

The stars only blinked back at him as he looked up, thinking to himself how San’s brothers had finally begun acting less hostile towards him. It startled him when a cold, sharp blade suddenly pressed against his throat.

“I’ll never know how you stay alive,” said a familiar voice, and then a warm body pressed against him, arms wrapped firmly and possessively about his torso. San had an acute way of affirming that he was her territory and hers alone. Ashitaka encircled her small waist with his own arms, feeling her pressing her face into his chest, and her hair tickling his chin.

“I sometimes wonder as well,” he admitted, causing San to smile. It was normal for her to greet him with this evidence as to why he could never live as she did, more to recall the superiority of her skills to his than to push him away from the forest. San breathed in deeply through her nose, now drinking in the scent she had previously detested. Ashitaka no longer smelled like a human to her, nor did he smell like a wolf; his scent reminded her of the forest around them, rich, earthy, and unaffected. She loved it.

“How have you been doing, San?” Ashitaka’s soft voice fell on her ears as music. “I’m sorry I haven’t been out to see you in so long.”

“It’s all right. There are too many filthy humans down there who don’t know their head from a hole in the ground.” San could not keep the bitterness from her voice, particularly given that her attempts were a bit lukewarm. “Someone has to help them, and it isn’t going to be me.”

“As always.” San was unsure as to whether he was referring to her behavior or the nature of the townspeople. She was well aware that he did not appreciate her comments, but he understood them. She was waiting for the day that he told her to stop them. That would be the day they were finally forever together, or torn forever apart. The wind had started to whisper around them, causing the long blades of grass to scratch at her legs. She let go of him, instead pulling her torso onto his and folding her arms across his chest, able to get a full view of his handsome face. Which, she was unpleased to note, had an unsightly gash on it about an inch below his right eye. Frowning, San poked at it. Ashitaka’s eye shut quickly.

“Ow.”

San leaned on one of her hands. “Another little spat?”

“Of course not. Wooden stake. Building the water tower.”

“You’re so clumsy.”

Ashitaka grinned at her pursed lips, reaching up and smoothing a lock of hair away from her face. “Your hair is getting long.”

“Yours is, too,” she replied, “but I’m a girl. You should cut it.”

He laughed. “Well, what if I don’t want to cut it?”

“But I don’t like it that way,” she reassured him, a hint of a whine creeping into her voice. The banter was also per usual; she had complained about his hair the last time they were together and he had forgotten. San laid her chin down on his chest. “You can’t even take care of yourself down there. You should be living up here with me, you know.”

Ashitaka did not respond, and San felt the sudden tension in his body. She looked up curiously, afraid she had struck a nerve. San could tell that he was stretched very far; he was becoming thinner, he looked tired constantly, and the little accidents, such as the injury to his cheek, were becoming more and more frequent. San had recently discovered fear for him seeding in her heart, and she did not like it. With his stress, however, also came a reluctance to talk of subjects like the one she had just mentioned.

“Ashitaka?” she ventured cautiously. He inhaled, then exhaled heavily.

“I just wish you would stop bringing that up.” He sounded more defeated than angry, and San suddenly found herself growing frustrated.

“What do you mean by that? You don’t care to live here with me? Not as good as the town where all the little ‘townspeople’ dwell?” She had planted a hand on either side of his shoulders and lifted herself. Her face hovered a few inches above his, her brow knit with indignation. Ashitaka’s blue eyes stared sadly into hers, and she suddenly realized her quick assumption was not correct at all.

“San, you know that’s not it,” he replied patiently. “I can’t. I just wish I could so much that I want to stop thinking about it.”

Her expression softened as she watched his eyes drift to the side, unwilling to face hers. She touched the side of his cheek with a rough hand, caressing it gently and laying down beside him. “I... I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right, I’m not blaming you for it,” he replied quietly. “There are just too many people down there still talking about the old Irontown, and I’m afraid they may influence Lady Eboshi in a...”

“Ashitaka,” she snapped suddenly, her hand drifting down to the fabric at his shoulder. The wolf princess kept trying to bury her jealousy that Ashitaka saw it more worthwhile to stay and assist that woman in her endeavors than to stay in the forest with his love. No matter how the woman had changed her ways, her past sins would never be erased for San, and her secret desires could not be disguised. San had often thought of the Lady Eboshi’s dark, conniving figure keeping a constant vigil over the prince, watching and coveting him, a disgusting want in her eyes; his innocent, soft smile exchanged for her sly, manipulative grin... Her grip on his tunic tightened as she imagined that woman’s hands on his skin, her lips... “Don’t ever say her name again.”

“San...”

“Don’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

They sat in silence for a moment, the tension fading from them as it always did. The wind had died, leaving them only the sounds of night birds and insects and the other’s heart beating, and it was a comforting atmosphere. San’s fingers found their way to his hair, which had indeed gotten long, and played with it, touching the fine strands and trying to memorize how they felt. Soon, too soon, they would be parting, and they would regret some of the words they had said, and their hearts would suffer silently until the next time they could meet.

“I can’t come live among them, you know,” San murmured. Ashitaka turned his head towards her, giving her better access.

“I wouldn’t ask you to do that, San.”

“Why not?”

That was a question Ashitaka had been waiting for, but was unprepared for as well. Rather than puzzled or angry with him, San sounded more hurt than anything. He looked at her for a moment, contemplating what he should say.

“Do you want me to ask you?” he countered gently. San’s eyes moved away from him for a moment, but her hand continued threading anxiously through his hair.

“It would be nice to feel wanted.”

Ashitaka was nearly stunned at her reply. “San, I love you,” he told her, as he had told her a million times, and she had never requited. “I want you to very much, but I don’t want to be selfish,” he tried to explain. San merely grinned at him, rolling her eyes.

“You’re always the selfless one, no survival instinct, just giving away pieces of yourself until there’s nothing left,” she taunted. “Have you ever been selfish in your life?”

Ashitaka smiled softly. “I just told you I wouldn’t cut my hair for you.”

San’s grin widened in contest, her fingers tightening around a long lock of hair. “I think I like it this way.” She pulled on the trapped tress, drawing his face to hers and kissing him deeply, before he could complain about his aching skull. Very like San; every bit of affection comes at the price of a bit of pain. Ashitaka returned the kiss, with less vigor, due to his exhaustion, but with equal heart, and warmth passed between them, pleasant and succinct. San released him, and he immediately raised a hand to rub at the sore spot.

“That hurt.”

“Come on, it was worth it.”

She nuzzled into his tunic again, folding her arms securely around him and feeling him return her embrace again. They laid there for a moment, entwined intimately, the sounds and smells and sights of the forest all around them, busy with activity even in the middle of the night. San inhaled again, one more time, for she knew in the morning he would be gone.

“Have I ever said, Ashitaka, that I love you?”

She felt with satisfaction that the prince froze. “No, no, you haven’t.”

“Well, I do.” His body relaxed again in her arms, and San could almost sense the happiness falling from him in tangible waves. “Go to sleep, Ashitaka. I’m tired.”

“Sweet dreams, San.”

“Sweet dreams.”