|A Wedding, Revenge, and Psychological Warfare
Author: SlightlyFrumiousBandersnatch PM
Lily and James are getting married, at long last, and now all that's left to do is survive the ceremony, the reception, and get revenge on Sirius for the story he told in the toast. LilyJames, obviously. Features cruelty to Sirius. COMPLETEDRated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Romance - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,028 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 12-13-06 - Published: 03-28-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2865259
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: the characters, apart from Jana Whitethorn and a couple of random wedding guests, do not belong to me. They belong to JKR and her publishers. Honestly, if they belonged to me, I wouldn't be writing crummy fanfic, would I?
Also, thanks to the people who suggested that I take this bit out of italics.
Lily Evans was lying in her hotel bedroom, unable to sleep for excitement. Within twelve hours, Lily Evans would cease to exist, but Lily Potter would be dancing with her husband.
She really did have to get some sleep. Probably the best thing to do would be to run over her mental checklist:
Item one: Dress. That's in the closet over there, and it's perfectly safe.
Item two: Weather. Mrs. Potter says it'll be fine.
Item three: the Cake. It's on a high shelf down stairs. Hopefully Sirius won't find it.
Item four: Hair. Washed, blow-dried, braided for the night, and generally mistreated to within an inch of whatever life it ever had.
Item five: Petunia. I can probably find some way to stop her from...being Petunia.
It was at this critical stage of her thought process that she heard a light rapping on her window. Looking up, it proved to be James, who appeared to be attempting to land a broom on the balcony. She got up and went over to the door.
"James Emeritus Potter!" she screamed, "What do you think you're doing?"
"I was wondering if you might want to go flying with me," said James innocently, "Or are you referring to something else?"
"I was referring to the fact that you just landed a broom on a balcony outside a muggle hotel, without even bothering to bring an invisibility cloak, and now you're asking me to go out flying with you." Lily said, barely able to stop herself from screaming at him.
"Oh, that," said James, "I did bring the invisibility cloak-"
"THEN WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING IT?" Lily screamed. James just shrugged, "Does it really matter?" he said, apparently oblivious of the fact that he had just jeopardized the secrecy of the entire Wizarding race, as well as really annoying his fiancé.
"Sometimes I wonder about you, James," said Lily.
"You wonder where I got my looks from?" said James.
"I know that," said Lily, "From a squashed armadillo, of course. What I meant was: Where did it go?"
"Where did what go?" asked James, looking slightly puzzled.
"If you had one you'd know," said Lily, attempting to give him a hint.
"Huh?" said James.
"Try 'brain', silly," said Lily, "You didn't even notice the hint, did you?"
"What hint? Anyway," said James, "Will you?"
"Will I what?" said Lily.
"Go flying with me, silly. And you said I had no brain."
"Go flying with you, what?" said Lily.
"Huh?" said James, "Oh, that. You sound like my Mum when you do that, Lily. Will you go flying with me please?" said James.
"Why do you want to go flying now, of all times?" said Lily, shaking her head.
"I want to go flying with Lily Evans, girl of my dreams, one last time," said James, "Sirius can continue the party without me. At least, I think he can. Did I just seriously say that? Of course he can."
"If Lily Evans is the girl of your dreams, what does that make Lily Potter?" said Lily, "Chopped liver?"
"That makes Lily Potter the woman of my dreams," said James.
"Nice save," commented Lily, rolling her eyes, "But I need my beauty sleep."
"Oh, come on Lils-"
"James!" said Lily, in mock annoyance, "You know my rules: you don't call me 'Lils', and I don't call you-"
"All right, all right!" said James.
"No," said Lily, "You committed the crime; you must pay the penalty, Jimmy!"
"No!" James yelled. Lights started to click on in the neighboring buildings.
"THEN DON'T CALL ME LILS!" Lily yelled, hammering her point home for all it was worth.
"All right, all right," said James, "But I still want you to come flying with me."
"Well..." said Lily.
"Oh, Lily," James said, whining slightly now, "Don't get like that. After all, it's Lily Evans' Last Chance."
"Well, so long as Lily Evans never has to do it again," said that damsel, fluttering her eyelashes, in the way she knew James hated.
"Lily Evans will never have to do it again," promised James.
"Good," said Lily Evans.
"I'll just go ask Mrs. Lily Potter of number ten Godric's Hollow," James continued.
"I pity her... But anyway, since it's the last time: fine, I'll go flying with you," said Lily.
"Excellent," said James, "Now, once we're airborne, don't forget to put the invisibility cloak around both of us-"
"Now he remembers," Lily interrupted, "Men..."
"Or we might jeopardize Wizarding security," continued James, "Plus, it means you can dive-bomb cars without getting arrested..."
"James Emeritus Potter, you idiot!" Lily half-screamed, "Dive-bombing cars! I'm not going along with that."
"It was a joke, dear," said James, "Then again-"
"James..." said Lily in a warning voice.
"Then again," said James, "Maybe that's why I like you so much."
"I hope not."
"Anyway, enough fiddling around," said James, "Get on the broom. Take it or leave it."
A few minutes later, James Potter and Lily Evans soared away into the night, although no-one saw them go, with the possible exception of Mad-Eye Moody, who was staying in the hotel next door. But he may not have been awake.
They returned an hour or so later, Lily yelled at James for a few minutes for pretending to dive-bomb cars, then kissed him good-night and returned to her hotel room, watching him soar off into the night.