1 The fighting arm of the Empire Waste Disposal Co. Inc. was attached to the PR department of the company. This is perhaps a reflection on the attitude of the Empire Waste Disposal Co. Inc. towards PR, or perhaps a reflection on PR departments everywhere.

2 Practical on the basis of the science fact; “There is no gravity in space.” What science-fiction writers forget is that there are other forces in space – such as aesthetic taste.

3 Note the word “fighter” – singular.

4 The fact that no-one – not even a JamJara – would want to drink the stuff seemed to have escaped the silly old duffer’s senile mind. The only use that had ever been found for Old Ben Wonkie-Nosie’s liquor was rocket fuel, but after three of the Empire’s ships had their engines melt, he was fired from the company. This is a source of much of the discontent which is – ultimately – responsible for the “quest” which follows.

5 This is considered by historians to be the most useful thing Ham Salad ever did.

6 This is considered by historians to be the second most useful thing Ham Salad ever did. The girl’s name was G’brina and – after the Empire Waste Disposal Co. Inc. was defeated – she went on to have a successful modelling and singing career, being voted Miss Tattooist twice in a row and having such hits as “I lost my heart to an Imperial Dustman”.

7 The Allied Closing Down Sale is still going on – in all dimensions and in all time periods. This is felt by many scientists to be the undiscovered “universal constant”.

8 The authors avoid the obvious temptation to have Old Ben Wonkie-Nosie say at this point, “Ye-har, boy! It never did me none o’ that thar harm!”

9 This is judged to have been the only good thing about the whole affair.

10 Earl Grey, hot. Daft Radar had been entertaining.

11 RU-DD42.

12 Chuck and Chewintobacco.

13 Leimee and Ham.

14 The authors are well aware there is no air in space. This is simply poetic license.

15 The authors are also well aware that, owing to the fact there is no air in space (footnote 14), noises cannot travel. This is also poetic license.

16 We are also well aware that space is black, not blue.

17 “In space, no-one can hear you sweat.” We know this as well.

18 Like the Allied Closing Down sale, the German skiing instructor who steals your girlfriend is thought to be a universal constant by some scientists.