Disclaimer from B-Corvus Corvidae-M, AKA. X-Black Mage-X, AKA Supreme Ruler of the Eternal Voids of the Abyss and Wielder of the Four 'D's; Darkness, Death, Decay and Destruction: I do not own the Teen Titans, and wish to Hell that I did so that there could be a sixth season. Cartoon Network shall yet pay for their transgressions! The corporation will tremble before my unbridled might! MWAHAHA! Tremble, I say! (Cough.) So, yeah, I don't own this, and am therefore completely not responsible for any screw-ups that Cartoon Network and DC Comics are totally responsible for.

Note from her dark Majesty, Queen of Angst. AKA. Dark S3cret: Damn, I 'dark' appeared twice! Anyways! (clears throat)Yes, my little henchman. You don't own this either; but in comparison, you are quite responsible for any and every screw-up this masterpiece contains… (Smiles) Due to immeasurable grace and kindness, you are forgiven… Now, please, continue. Onto chapter two. NOW or I will cut off your head!

Ha, just joking. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me " Take out the Trash."

Chapter one.

Robin, considering as how he had no actual superpowers, was forever inventing new gadgets and doodads to use in the fight against evil. Every now and then he slipped in a little convenience of his own, such as, for example, the personalised computer swivel chair.

This was actually rather annoying, because it was so amazingly well designed to fit his body that nobody else could use it, and the rest of the team (except Cyborg, of course, who had en entire electronics lab in his own room) had to share an overused grey computer chair between them, which was also stained from the numerous times Beastboy spilt his Pepsi and other such unhealthy liquids.

'I had somebody else pay several hundred thousand for this supercomputer,' thought Robin in the privacy of his thoughts. 'It can do anything except turn on and finish doing whatever it needs to start up before I fall asleep.'

Suddenly, Starfire burst into the room, in that alien way she had of doing. As ever, she was so amazingly happy that even the others noticed, and her flowing soft auburn hair whirled about her head in way that would have had shampoo advertisers killing each other to get to her first.

"Would anyone mind informing me as to the whereabouts of dear friend Robin?" Starfire chirped.

"You what…?" asked Beast Boy in a tone of thick incomprehension, not taking his eyes of the television screen for one minute. On it was a collage of various colourful things blowing each other up, one of which was under Cyborg's control.

"Don't strain your brain, Einstein," Cyborg quipped. "He's over at the computer, Star," he called back over his shoulder, his thumbs a blur over the buttons. Beast Boy laughed callously.

"Yeah, he's probably doing research… again."

Robin heard this, of course, which meant he instantly had to act as though he hadn't.

'Is that what they think I do all the time?' he thought, only just holding back an exasperated sigh.

However, he had to admit that there was a grain of truth in what Beast Boy said. He spent more time researching villains (even dead ones, due to the shred of morbidity he had hard-wired into his system) than Cyborg spent kicking Beast Boy's butt on the Gamestation; which was a lot of the time.

And then, of course, there was Slade, though there was never any information on him. That bugger was like a ghost; if he wanted to be invisible, he would be, and nobody could actually catch him.

Starfire, oblivious of whether he was doing research or not and frankly not caring, snuck up behind Robin in her usual playful manner.

"Friend Robin!" she called out in an excruciatingly pitched voice, causing Robin to leap several metres off his seat and land on the floor. "Please stop doing the research; there are so many things… oh."

Her voice faded away as she realised what it was Robin was actually doing.

Beast Boy, eager to scandalise anything that the Boy Wonder was doing, paused the game and dropped his controller like a hot potato, whipping around to see the computer screen.

"What'dhedo?" asked Beast Boy, somehow managing to merge four words into one in his excitement.

"You'd probably better go over there and check it out," Cyborg answered slyly. As soon as Beast Boy stood up, Cy reached over and resumed the game, once again commencing to beat the crud out of the colourful characters, especially Beast Boy's.

Beast Boy thought about protesting, but decided it wasn't worth it. He'd been losing anyway.

The only person in the team who could actually go through a door before it opened walked into the room at that moment, her head as ever buried in a book. However, it wasn't so deeply buried that she couldn't notice the aura of shocked silence that emanated from the computer, and, circumventing Robin by teleporting straight in front of the monitor, Raven had a quick glance at whatever was going on.

"What it is Rae?" asked Beast Boy, running over exuberantly. "Rob wasn't looking at some porno site was he?"

"It's nothing," said Robin defensively. Raven simply rolled her eyes and progressed to the kitchen section.

"I can't believe you're getting all in a flap about something so trivial…"

Nevertheless, Raven couldn't help letting herself have a smile about the whole affair out of everyone's sight behind the book.

"What is the meaning of this, Robin?" asked Starfire, letting him know exactly what a woman scorned sounded like. "This girl seems to be asking you for a date and…" Starfire coloured slightly, but hid most of it behind a veneer of jealousy. "Robin, please do not tell me that you actually wrote back to her before!"

"Ha-ha! I knew it!" said Beast Boy joyfully. "Robin's doing something dirty!"

"It's nothing of note," said Raven, walking back to them across the room and assembling a sandwich in mid-air with her powers over darkness. Cyborg stared at the exploded three-dimensional diagram of a sandwich longingly, and went to prepare his own with slightly more conventional methods. "It's just fan mail," she concluded, taking a dinosaur-sized bite out of the sandwich that hinted somewhat at her hunger. Robin, Starfire and Beast Boy stared uneasily at Raven for a second. "What?" she asked, not an easy feat through a mouthful of sandwich.

"Anyway," said Robin, getting back on topic; "like Raven said, there's no need for you to be alarmed, Star. It's only-"

A loud whistling cut Robin off. He looked at Raven with an annoyed expression and she, completely ignoring the annoyed expression, summoned over a mug of herbal tea.

"Man, I wish I had those powers," Cyborg mumbled thickly to himself through an even bigger sandwich.

"As I was saying; they sent this mail to me. I have not contacted any of them." There was a conspicuous absence of any kind of reassurance in Starfire's face. Robin sighed. "Look; it is inescapable that major celebrities like us would be massively famous in Jump City, if not beyond, so it is also inevitable that I should receive fan-mail. Now, upon observing the majority of our fan-base, it is easy to draw the conclusion that many of them are somewhat… eh… lowbrow." Like a slug frozen in superglue, realisation slowly dawned on Starfire.

"Oh… do you mean like that man who once requested certain illicit sexual favours of me?" Robin winced.

'Why does she have to be so forthright about things like this?' he thought.

"Yes, exactly like that."

"And then there was the other person who-"

"Alright, I think that's enough examples," said Robin, signing out of his e-mail account to make sure no more of this got out. Starfire just did not know the meaning of the word 'embarrassment'; especially when it came to sexual matters.

"I am merely glad that you are just not with some other undeserving fan-girl."

"Good."

"Now then Robin; I have planned a glorious day of fun activities for us to be doing. First there is the selection of flowers to-" Robin went into automatic mode as he let Starfire drag him out of the door, retreating back into his mind and just nodding periodically to give Starfire the impression that he was listening.

Beast Boy, thankfully, seemed to have lost all interest in the computer for now, and was of that moment attempting to torment Cyborg and his overlarge sandwich (and, needless to say with Cyborg, failing miserably). This left the computer wide-open for Raven, who just happened to be hanging around at the time with her herbal tea.

She wheeled over the grey computer-chair and logged on to the Internet. Like all regular internet users, she had a certain mental list of sites that were always the first to be visited. For most people it was Hotmail or Yahoo to check up on e-mail, but Raven had other, more interesting matters to attend to.

And, as aforementioned, her account was probably filled with mindless fan-mail that was the male equivalent of the fan-girls that wrote to Robin. Raven shuddered to think what their poor little testosterone-swamped minds could come up with. Of course, it might have been slightly narrowed down, considering that most of her fan base consisted of Goths. Or not; there were just as many girls as there were boys. All Goths; go figure. Starfire's fan base was only male. Raven had a theory; the girls were threatened by Starfire's glorious, majestic, alien beauty…

Selecting the address bar, Raven typed in a familiar URL. After a few clicks, she was sifting through the garbage of fan-fiction, occasionally finding a potential gem.

Usually just reading the summary was enough for Raven. Her making out with Beast Boy, fighting Terra for Beast Boy, Slade doing something reprehensible to her, an affair between herself and Robin… the list seemed endless.

It was… amusing, no doubt. However, all this fan-fiction also disturbed Raven no end. It scared her somewhat to contemplate exactly what kind of minds these people had.

Raven heard a noise behind her, and checked for the presence of a mind (though Beast Boy would probably have been safe from this). There was nobody within reading distance, and she breathed a sigh of relief. If anyone found out about this… well, she just rather that they didn't. It didn't bear thinking about.

As Raven searched for something that might actually be worth reading (as if), and was constantly frustrated by the sheer amount crap there was on the Internet. These people called themselves 'writers', yet they couldn't string together a single sentence without making some kind of grammatical or spelling error. Didn't they have Spellcheckers?

And not only that; the majority of the plots were so poorly constructed that it was a wonder they didn't fall apart as soon as you started reading. It seemed most of them were held together with spit and prayers. Then, of course, was the overbearing amount of smut, or what was codenamed as 'lemon fics'.

Raven did appreciate the advent of technology for all of her arcane mysticism, but she realised that, however intelligent computers became, humans would still for the most part be the same lumbering apes that had lived in caves all those years ago.

It was a sad but obvious fact that people would rather communicate with meaningless little phrases that had been used so much that they lost all meaning. Raven had given trying to understand what expressions like 'lol', 'rofl', 'brb', 'omg' and 'wtf' were supposed to mean.

Still, it was worth it for the few literary jewels that you could somehow manage to filter through all the garbage with sufficient patience.

Why, you may ask, was Raven looking through fan-fiction? Well, ever since the Mean Brotherhood of Evil Doom (or something rather, just as lame) had been defeated, the team had had more or less nothing to do. So, Raven had done a lot more reading, until the librarian was begging her not to ask for any more books. So Rae took to the only source of information that was truly infinite; the Internet.

But, as you have probably been anticipating for a while now, things weren't going to stay normal for long. Why would they? That would be boring.