Author: sunbune PM
Feeling dirty minded and looking for a laugh? This is a twisted bit of sexual silliness at Kenshin's expense. BEWARE: Rated for trash, slash, citrus, and even noncon. scary. I'm so, SO sorry, Kenshin!Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Kenshin - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,559 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Published: 04-03-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2874209
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A twisted bit of sexual silliness at Kenshin's expense
Author's note: WARNING! This fic is meant for a …um… jaded adult audience that has been reading ruroken fanfiction for years, and is ready and willing to make fun of some of the darker, nastier fanfic "tendencies" out there… you'll see what I mean. Although it's not explicit, it is a slashy fic. After despising this stuff for years… finally I gave in, for the sake of my own morbid amusement. Sigh! Of course I really don't think any of this could ever happen in the ruroken world- in my honest opinion, only Kaoru and, to a lesser extent, Megumi, think of Kenshin "that way"… but in this fic, oh, forgive me, Kenshin!
Chapter 1: the wolf
Ignoring the long shadow that fell across his back, Kenshin continued his favorite chore, crouched over the washtub next to the well.
"The girl and the brat aren't here," Saitou said at last.
"Did you come to finish our fight?" Kenshin asked coldly.
"Maybe," Saitou replied, smiling sinisterly. He admired Kenshin for a moment with his narrow wolfish eyes. Kenshin felt the weight of his gaze and it made him uncomfortable.
"What do you want?" he asked at last, sounding almost irritated.
"You," Saitou answered, sounding vaguely bemused. Cigarette smoke curled in front of his lean, sharp-featured face. Kenshin froze, and then slowly stood up, frowning.
"You're joking," he said softly, turning to face Saitou.
"You're oblivious," Saitou retorted, stepping closer. Looking smug, he blew smoke into the retired Battousai's face. Gritting his teeth, Kenshin closed one eye but glared at Saitou with the other. "You don't realize that everyone wants you."
"What do you mean?"
"You're in denial. Everyone you know wants to sleep with you. It's sickening. I'm here to do something about it."
"I don't understand--"
"Exactly. But don't worry, I'll make you understand, very soon." Saitou smiled evilly and suddenly lashed out with both hands- one hand wrapped around Kenshin's throat and the other grabbed a fistful of his long red bangs. Kenshin gagged and immediately began to struggle, but within seconds, Saitou had him in a stranglehold, with his arms pinned to his sides. Releasing Kenshin's neck, Saitou pulled free the cord that had been keeping Kenshin's baggy pocketed sleeves tied up out of the way of the washtub. Expertly, Saitou used this handy bit of rope to secure Kenshin's arms behind his back at the elbows and the wrists.
Kenshin gasped for air, his eyes wide and unbelieving. "You can struggle all you want," Saitou said matter-of-factly. "That'll just make it more fun for me, to be honest."
"What are you going to do to me?" Kenshin asked, horrified.
"I'm going to take you inside, hold you down, and fuck you, so stop acting surprised," Saitou replied coolly. The knots were tied to his satisfaction, so he picked the struggling rurouni up with one arm and carried him into the practice hall, the very place where they had been fighting savagely for their lives only two days previously.
Kenshin almost managed to twist out of Saitou's grip, and as punishment, Saitou threw him onto the floor as forcefully as he could. He grinned as he saw Kenshin wince and suck in his breath through clenched teeth. Those wounds from two days ago couldn't even be close to healed. Kenshin rolled painfully to his side and glared at Saitou furiously. There was a spot of blood on his chin, thanks to his impact with the floor. Saitou noticed it, and instantly, he was kneeling over Kenshin, his knees pressing down on the white hakama, effectively trapping the former Battousai's legs.
"You're not going to scream, are you?" Saitou asked scornfully, his face inches away from Kenshin's.
"Why are you doing this?" Kenshin hissed. Saitou pressed a finger to his lips, and then ran his fingers lightly over Kenshin's scarred cheek and around to the back of his head. Taking a firm hold of the base of Kenshin's skull, his hand lost beneath the infamous red ponytail, Saitou leaned in and licked the bloody spot on Kenshin's chin. Kenshin shuddered and fought to twist away, but there was nowhere to go. He was trapped. Saitou grinned, his lips still just millimeters away from Kenshin's chin.
"Like I said," he growled in an amused voice, "Everyone wants to do this to you. I decided I'd just go ahead actually do it." He placed a hand on Kenshin's chest, and then drew it down over his stomach. Kenshin tried to flinch away from Saitou's hand in enraged disgust. The fact that his arms were bound behind his back made his position extremely awkward. "You don't even tie your hakama properly," Saitou remarked, undoing the childish knot. "Have you really forgotten so much since the Bakumatsu? You're pathetic."
Kenshin realized then that Saitou Hajime was about to take his pants off. "Stop!" he said desperately. "Don't—"
"Shut up," Saitou commanded, and his lips closed forcefully around Kenshin's protesting mouth.
Barely fifteen minutes later, Saitou was putting his own pants back on. Kenshin was on his side on the floor, his never-fully-removed gi draped around him. His already wounded body was starting to show a number of new bruises. Saitou lit a fresh cigarette and kicked Kenshin's hakama towards him.
"Sit up and put your clothes back on," Saitou said, sounding bored. Kenshin shot him a dirty look over his shoulder. "Oh, right," Saitou said, and reached for his sword. The blade sang from its sheath and quickly freed Kenshin's hands. Painfully he brought his arms in front of him. His forearms were a hideous purple color, but he could feel the blood returning to them. "You'll be fine," Saitou smirked. "Couple bruises. Good thing you didn't have any pride to begin with."
Kenshin sat up, watching normal color return to his hands. "Saitou," he said quietly. "Ultimately, I don't care what anyone does to me… but I want to know why."
"Maybe it's your voice. Your eyes. Your red hair- yes, that's all part of it. But most of all, it's your purity. Despite your age and experiences, you've got this irresistible innocence."
"What innocence?" Kenshin asked angrily.
"I'll spell it out. No matter what you've done, your heart is still pure. You can see it in your eyes. Just thinking about it makes me want to fuck you again right now. You see, there are two kinds of lust in this corrupted world. The first is lust for something darker and more evil than yourself. For this reason women will always be attracted to dangerous characters, and men will always harbor some level of fascination with prostitutes and the like. But the second kind of lust is far worse- and that lust is the desire to corrupt something that is pure. That's why some sick wretched people are attracted to children, and it's part of the universal appeal of virgins."
Silently, Kenshin folded his gi around his waist and began to put on his pants. Saitou smiled, watching Kenshin closely, not missing a blink.
"I have to say, Battousai… you're incredibly graceful, and satisfactorily pleasing in every way." He paused to take a drag from his cigarette. "This was an enjoyable experience for me, but all the same, I hope I won't have to stop by again."
"What?" Kenshin gasped, his pupils shrinking. "Again?"
"You heard me." With a look of cool indifference, he turned and strolled out. Kenshin sat slouched on the floor until he could no longer sense Saitou's ki. Then he sighed and pressed his palms to his forehead. Good thing you didn't have any pride to begin with. Saitou's voice echoed in his mind. No matter what you've done, your heart is still pure.
Kenshin didn't understand. Saitou must be unstable mentally, he thought. His strong desire to fight me somehow warped into another kind of desire- after so many years of killing and bloodshed, his passions are twisted… he's crazy.
Everyone wants to do this to you, Saitou's voice echoed. Kenshin shook his head.
"No," he said out loud. "My friends are just my friends. Surely none of them want to rape me!"