The Nerima Perspective

Not dead! And never will be. I don’t kill fics.

Is anybody still reading this?

Anyway, a genuine new Chapter for you nice folks out there.

Again, I’m just having a bit of fun writing this, so don’t expect a Moby Dick literary masterpiece with perfect characterisation, solid plotlines and non Gary-Stu/Mary-Sue-ness. If that’s what you want, then don’t look here.

As it is, I have a basic story for this now, at least until Joe arrives at Nerima, and at what part of the manga it will begin.

I don’t own Ranma, someone else does.
A lot of stuff might be mentioned that’s copyrighted.
I don’t own it either
Just a bit of fun anyway.

I...I
5 months later, somewhere else in the backarse of China.

“Got sun in my face.” I sang wearily, “Sleepin’ rough around over the place. Tell ya all about it, when I get home.”

Ryoga glared at me.

“Trying to find Ranma, the Long Way Round.” I grinned back at him.

The summer sun beat down, scorching the grass and splitting the rocks. The tarmac underfoot was melting slightly as I carried my fuel starved bike forward, slung across my back by two straps, like a two wheeled, half tonne backpack.

It had been Ryoga’s idea, as part of my training. Fully loaded, I could comfortably carry it for about an hour, maybe longer if absolutely necessary, before I got tired. Ryoga could carry his pack, which weighed more, all day

I’d been training with him, for five months at least, to the point where I was relatively strong, relatively fit, and relatively capable of handling myself in a fight, compared to your average person anyway.

But I still had the bruises and aches from my nightly sparring matches with Ryoga.

The only time I’d beaten him was when my curse had been triggered, and he passed out from blood loss. Since, he’d insisted I bandage my chest while cursed, which I was glad to do, at least I looked more normal. And it solved the irritating Gainax problem.

Today, I’d been carrying the half-tonne weight since early morning, nearly dead on my feet as the sun rose high into the afternoon sky.

I made every effort to keep myself cool, wearing my jacket around my waist and rolling my black cordura trousers up to my knees. The green and white bandana around my head was doing a good job keeping the sweat off my face, but nowhere else.

My booted feet crunched on the dirty road, my mind only concentrating on two things. Getting a drink of water was coming a close second to just putting one font in front of the other, the march of the last three days was beginning to take its toll on my body, mind and my feet.

Motorcycle enduro boots were not built for walking long distances, and my feet showed it. The boots themselves were almost capable of walking on their own, having not seen clean water since Jusenkyo.

I just wanted to sit down and rest, or flop over onto my face and sleep, but I knew Ryoga would probably leave me on the ground were I fell.

I was so overheated, parched and tired from my long walk, for an instant I thought I saw someone waving a sign that said

“Ray Garretty for the win!”

I wondered who Ray Garretty was for a moment, before I shook my head to clear my vision. The mirage, or hallucination, or whatever it was disappeared, leaving only a long, badly surfaced road that seemed to reach into forever.

I’d never believed China was so big. Perhaps Ryoga’s unique navigation methods had something to do with it.

Beside me, the dark haired lost boy was panting and sweating in the heat, but an odd look of focused determination kept him going forward.

“Were are we now?”

It was the question that had come define my life. That and “D’ya think it’ll rain?”.

Ryoga checked his map.

“Three Gorges valley.” he answered. “I think. Ten miles from Jialing training centre.”

He grinned slightly, baring his fangs. He was sure he would have his revenge this time. Like every other time we thought we’d caught up with Ranma.

Instead, the caretaker of whatever training ground we visited would usually answer with the same phrase.

“Sorry sirs. Particular guests leave one/two/three/thirteen days ago.”

But each time, as Ryoga became more optimistic of or, more correctly, obsessed with, success the next time, I became a little less convinced. “Should’ve stayed at Jusenkyo.” was quickly becoming my motto. After all, I knew Ranma would arrive there eventually.

He was probably already there, either getting cured or cursed.

I found it odd for a moment, that Ryoga was, for once, the optimist of our little duo, instead of the other way round.

“It’s hot.” I panted.

“Deal with it.” Ryoga answered breathlessly.

“Anywhere sell water around here?” I asked.

It was strange that most of the towns we had passed through had been deserted, with all the services turned off. Even the riverbed was dry, which was odd since it seemed as if it had been wide and deep. That meant we were running dangerously low on water and supplies.

We had four litres left between us.

It had been three days since we’d seen anyone alive. I was beginning to wonder if the whole world’s population hadn’t suddenly suffered maximum existence failure somehow in a random act of God. I’d come to the conclusion that we might have been left behind through a minor oversight on his part, since we’d been out in the boondocks of China for so long.

“There’s a town, five miles ahead.” he answered, looking off into the horizon.

All I could see was the shimmering heat haze rising from the road, which began to rise steadily up in front of us.

“Great, uphill.” I groaned, kicking the road with my foot, whipping up a dust cloud.

An hour later and we reached another deserted village, with doors left open invitingly. They looked so dark and cool inside.

“It’s too hot to keep going.” he finally admitted, to my relief, “We’ll make camp here until it’s cooler out.”

He kicked down a door, sending wood splintering into the hallway will I chained my bike up outside, making sure it wouldn’t get stolen, if anyone still lived here.

“I’m going to find petrol.” I told my travelling companion, who was already setting up his cooking equipment in what had been the living room.

Unfortunately the entire building had been stripped of anything we could’ve used, so we had to rely on our own equipment. But that didn’t bother me, since I was finally relieved of my unwieldy burden, save for two empty jerry cans.

Humming some old song, I sauntered down the ghost town’s main street, looking for a petrol station where I could siphon off some 76 RON unleaded, if it hadn’t been sucked dry already.

I was aware of a distant, thudding rumbling, sounding as if it was coming from another world almost. It almost sounded like a diesel engine, being carried on a gust of wind. Not seeing anything on the road, I ignored it as the sonic equivalent of a mirage.

But something still made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

A gentle crunch on gravel, sounding like footsteps. To my surprise, a green haired teenage girl stepped out from a side street, wearing a backpack with an incongruous green silken dress. She appeared to be searching for something as well.

“Hey!” I called to her, waving my arm. Maybe she might have food, or water or fuel.

She jumped almost, before scanning for where the voice had come.

“Hey over there!” I called out, already running across the road.

In the distance, the diesel rumble was drawing nearer.

“Oh.” she looked up, “Nihao!” she answered

“Ni…hao” I responded, panting in the heat. She looked at me curiously with her blue eyes, before asking a question in Chinese. Despite having been in China for nearly six months, I still couldn’t speak the language.

“Don’t understand.” I said the one phrase I knew. “Only speak Japanese.”

“Oh…well. Elder Cologne teach me how. I speak good Japanese.” she answered with a slight smile. “So, what you’re name outsider?”

“Joe, Joe Kelly.” I answered with a polite bow.

She gave me an odd look, perhaps wondering why a Japanese boy had a European name.

“Xiao Wu.” she bowed.

“Why you in dam zone?” she asked.

‘Dam zone?’ I wondered what she meant by that.

“I’m going to Jialing training centre, to find someone.”

“Is closed.” she told me. “Elder send me to recover sacred charts before flood.”

She’d been there, maybe she’d seen him.

“Was there a boy there?” I demanded, almost pushing her into the ground. “About my age with dark hair.” I gave a quick description.

She backed off, a little surprised by my sudden demand, before searching for an answer.

“Yes.” she nodded, “With an old man.”

“It’s got to be him!” I shouted, suddenly very excited that my journey was about to end and that I would finally have my cure. I might actually be within a few miles of him. The closest I’d probably ever been.

“Who?” she questioned, confused.

“Ranma Saotome.” I grinned a Ryoga like grin.

“Yes.” she nodded. “That his name.” she confirmed, while I was already about to turn around and run to Ryoga, to tell him to get going. The distant diesel engine was coming closer.

“But he leave three days ago.” she crushed my hopes.

I growled, gripping my hands into fist.

“Is he doing this on purpose!” I cried out, kicking a rusting can on the ground with frustration.

I really had been living with Ryoga for too long

“You very strange.” Xiao Yu commented confused, with her fingers in her ears. “Very strange male indeed.”

I took a long breath, calming myself as best I could.

“Well.” I sighed. “You have any spare water, or anything we can trade for?” I enquired, a little dejected.

“No spare water.” she said apologetically. “But I have extra food.”

“Better than nothing.” I gave a slight smile. “My companion has some stuff to trade at a house we’re sheltering in, if you’d like?” I offered.

She nodded her agreement.

“I will follow you there, for trade.”

Both of us walked back, me leading slightly ahead of her. It probably would’ve been obvious which house Ryoga and I had shacked up in, since it was the only one with a blue Panzer bike parked outside.

But I was terrified I’d develop his sense of direction and end up in Antarctica or something.

“Why you look for Ranma?” the girl asked. “Honour debt?”

“Em…” I thought of a way to explain it. “I have a curse.” I said, deciding not to explain the details. “Ranma can cure it.”

“I see.” she nodded. “He no seem special to me. Skilled fighter, but no magic that I see.”

I thought about that, and what it meant. Maybe he hadn’t been cursed yet? That was unsettling, because it meant I’d have to spend longer cursed until he found it. And I’d have to stick close to him as well to make sure I got it.

“What curse is it?” she enquired, now seeming more curious about me.

“Jusenkyo Spring.” I dropped the name, hoping that would be enough of an explanation. Besides, some details were best shown.

She looked curious for a moment, perhaps wondering exactly what curse I had, if she knew what a Jusenkyo curse was.

“So you martial artist then?”

“Um.” honestly, I wasn’t sure how to answer that. I’d done some training, but was it enough to consider myself a martial artist?

“Sort of.” I answered goofily, hoping she’d drop the subject.

“You very strange male indeed.” she shook her head dismissively.

I huffed for a moment, wondering what she would think if she saw my curse. I was also wondering if she might’ve been interested in me. She was certainly good looking, to a point, being as tall as me, with that green flowered silk dress that highlighted her feminine beauty. She even had nice perfume.

“Don’t waste time, I not interested in weak outsider male.” she dismissed me with a wave. “Can’t even speak Cantonese” she huffed scornfully.

I facevaulted.

Which hurts like hell.

How the hell did she know I’d been checking her out?

Picking myself up from the dirt road, I broke into a run to catch up to her. Instantly, the blast of an air horn behind us caused us both to jump nearly six feet into the air.

“Truck!” I yelled above the roar of the approaching diesel engine. XiaoYu froze for a moment, looking at the green monster.

“Watch out!” I jumped to the side of the road, dragging her with me to the ground. Stones and pebbles jumped in the dirt beside us as the heavy metal truck roared past at over fifty.

And then I realised I was lying on top of her.

‘Oh God if she gets the wrong idea’ I panicked, looking down into her surprised blue eyes. She looked like a capable fighter, and I wasn’t to keen on getting knocked into orbit again with a wooden mallet.

Instead, she just silently pushed me off, standing up and dusting herself off. She looked at her feet for a moment at took a deep breath as I pulled myself to my feet beside.

Suddenly, she lunged at me.

“Wait, wait” I held my hands up defensively. “I only thought…” I back away.

I braced for impact as she grabbed me around the waist. To my surprise, there was only a gentle warm pressure on my lips.

‘She kissing me!’ I realised, excited. ‘She’s kissing me! Oh Good God she’s actually kissing me.’

For a former engineering student, actually kissing a real human female was a once in a lifetime occurrence. Like the humpback whale, they had been hunted to near extinction in the 1980’s.

‘But I thought she said she wasn’t interested. Why would she?’

‘Just enjoy it Idiot!’ I snapped at myself.

I mentally grinned, enjoying her way of saying thank you ‘thank you’ for pushing her out of the way of the truck.

She pulled back and smiled slightly.

“Airen.” she said simply, with what seemed like a forced smile.

I wondered if that was Chinese for ‘Thank you’

“You’re welcome.” I grinned like an idiot, a gentle tingle in my nose.

She gave me a slightly confused look as if I hadn’t understood her.

“Anyway.” I picked up my two jerrycans. “Let’s get going.”

She followed behind me to the commandeered house, my bike still parked outside.

“You live here?” she enquired.

“No, just making camp for tonight.” I told her.

“You on road then?”

“Yup.” I nodded, stepping over the smashed door.

Again, she looked at her feet, disappointed perhaps, before following me in.

“I’m back.” I announced my arrival. “And I found someone we can trade with.”

“I’m in the back.” he answered. “Come through. I’ve cooked dinner.”

Xiao Yu, dropped her pack beside Ryoga’s and followed me to where the lost boy was performing his katas.

“You find fuel?” he asked, his concentration split between speaking and his exercises

“No.” I shook my head, dropping the empty cans.

“Then what?”

“I found somebody we can trade with, for food and water.” I told him. “This is Xiao Yu.” I gestured to the girl beside me.

“Joe Kelly’s fiancée.” she finished with a feigned smile.

An interminable silence followed as Ryoga stopped what he was doing, both of us taking what seemed like an eternity to grasp what she had said.

“When…when…did that happen?” I stammered, stunned like a rabbit in headlights. “How?”

I’d thought when she kissed me she was just saying thank you. Did that mean ‘Airen’ meant ‘fiancée’?

“When you pushed me away from truck.” she answered downcast. “You save life of Amazon warrior. Amazon law say Amazon warrior must marry outsider male who save life of warrior.” she explained.

“What…uh…Amazon?” I still tried to comprehend what was happening.

Ryoga paled, before glaring at me.

“Yes. I Amazon warrior.” she nodded, putting the final nail in the coffin. “Is my honour to marry you now.”

I was torn between screaming Yahoo and glomping her, or screaming bloody terror and running away as fast as I could.

“Why would you do that?” Ryoga snapped at me, finally coming out of it.

“I didn’t know!” I answered back, hoping ignorance was a good defence against Amazon laws.

“Well, you have to do then honourable thing then and marry her.” Ryoga ordered, folding his arms.

“What?” My gaze darted between the Amazon and Ryoga. “I can’t!” I protested, if these were anything like the Greek Amazons, I didn’t want to be a house husband.

“What about my curse?” I searched for a desperate way out of this. “If it goes off when we’re getting married.”

“Well, you’ll have to deal with that.” Ryoga answered.

“Law quite clear. We must marry.” Xiao Wu towered over me, determined to get her way.

Still coming down out of the shock, I was still trying to figure my way out.

“I…” I took a calming breath. “I am searching for a cure for my curse.” I explained why I couldn’t marry. “I need to cure myself before marriage.”

Maybe if she’d let me go I could run away and never see her again. Maybe I could just run away to my bike and put miles between us. There was no way someone on foot could keep up with me on a bike, no matter what shortcuts they could take.

‘But no petrol!’ I grimaced noticeably.

The Amazon thought about my request for a moment.

“I come with you then.” she answered. “Or perhaps…we go to my village. Elder Cologne may know cure for curse.”

Again, my heart leapt for a moment at a new possibility of a cure, without needing to find Ranma. To get the cure, all I needed to do was marry this girl. Was a cure worth marriage?

I wasn’t sure, to be honest. I didn’t know what an Amazon husband had to do, or even if she could genuinely find me a curse, or if she was just making up a story to convince me to come with her.

“Can I think about it?” I requested honestly.

“Take all time needed.” she smiled, as if she knew my answer would be in her favour.

I nodded my thanks, before finding a quiet part of the house to think it over. And I thought angsty pathos stuff was best left to EVA. At least if I’d ended up there I could’ve been a pilot of a giant robot, until I got goo’ed anyway.

Now, I was facing marriage, at the effective age of fifteen.

But was the easy chance of a cure too good to pass up.

Was divorce legal in the Peoples Republic of China?

I smirked at that thought.

And if there was no cure?

I could run away, hide and try to find Ranma and a genuine cure again. Besides, what were the chances of Amazons catching up with me if I ended up following him to Japan?

“Xiao Wu.” I called for her, mispronouncing her name as ‘Shower’ by mistake.

“Yes Future husband.” she answered, appearing in the doorway.

“Where is…your village?” I asked, a little unsure if I’d made the right choice.

“Bayankala mountain range, Qinghai province, about 200 miles from here, near Jusenkyo.” she told me, with a victorious grin.

That sealed it. Even if the Amazons didn’t have a cure, I could go to Jusenkyo, and see if the Spring of Drowned Man had recovered yet, or if the guide had discovered something that could help.

“I can do that in a day on my bike.” I smiled in return, the possibility of a cure now tantalisingly close, for the second time in a day. “I just need fuel, that’s all.” I remembered with a slight sweatdrop.

“Well.” she put her hands on her hips. “As male, it is your duty to provide for family unit.” she spoke authoritatively.

“Huh.” I didn’t understand exactly what she meant by that.

“Amazon female defend family. Amazon male provide food, and shelter.” she explained.

Wordlessly, I slung my two jerrycans over my back, brushing past her, already having second thoughts as to whether I’d made the best choice.

“Somebody will be controlled when they get married.” Ryoga commented with a slight grin.

“Gah! Shut Up Pork breath!” I shot back, Ryoga slurping on his instant pork ramen.

Just get married, get cured, get divorced, how hard could this be?

I...I

Well, that’s the end of, Shock horror, a new chapter.

Firstly, as might be obvious, I’ve changed the premise of this a little. Instead of Joe sticking with Ryoga across China, this will be more Joe centred, following his own journey for a cure, probably interacting with the Ranma cast over time, developing his eventual job and position as a martial artist in Nerima.

Anyway, I know there’s nothing in the manga, that I’ve read anyway, about outsiders saving an Amazons life, but I thought it would make sense, within the rules of the universe anyway.

If the ‘Outsider male beats Amazon female then they must marry Law’ is for reasons of natural selection, to bring fresh strong blood into the village, then perhaps saving an Amazon life would lead to a similar result, as it would require courage, or reactions faster than the Amazon warrior involved.

Also, Joe’s special skills will probably be speed and reaction time related, since someone who rides a motorcycle would generally develop good reactions, but to balance this, he won’t have endurance or the outright skill to match most of Nerima, as he hasn’t been training for very long.

I created Xiao Yu simply because I hate ‘S.I. with series character’ pairings, and I wanted to give Joe some sort of grounding in the universe.

Slán Libh
Dartz IRL