"I am sorry, Dr. Zelenka," Teyla said, looking truly apologetic. It didn't make Radek feel any better about being stuck with Rodney's child. "I would like to help you, but I cannot take her."

"Just for awhile?" Radek begged.

Teyla pushed John's hair off his forehead as he snoozed peacefully before turning her sympathetic smile on Radek. "I wish I could, but you know how John is when he is medicated." She made a face. "He has already tried to leave twice."

"I see he is going for a record."

"So it would seem."

Radek did know all too well that Colonel Sheppard was notorious about trying to escape the infirmary when he was loopy on pain medication. Dr. Beckett had made it a rule that the colonel had to have someone watching him to make sure he didn't injure himself at such times. The job had most often fallen to Teyla or a disgruntled Rodney; Carson's staff were always too busy to watch him.

"Is there someone else who might take her?" Radek prompted.

Teyla shook her head. "Dr. Beckett and Dr. Hernandez are in surgery, and the nurses are with patients."

"Even Rebecca?"

Teyla pointed to one end where Carson's head nurse, Rebecca Jansen was bandaging a burn.

"What about Natasha?"

"In surgery."

"Morgan?"

"Radek," Teyla said patiently, "they are all otherwise occupied."

"What about those not on duty?"

"You may certainly try." Teyla's tone made it clear that while he could try, it certainly wasn't advisible.

Radek sighed and took hold of the baby carrier. He wandered out, contemplating his next move.

Most of the scientists were still immersed in the zmatek down in the labs. Somehow the pysicists and the engineers had joined in the skirmish although it had nothing to do with them. There were two things scientists seemed unable to resist - free food and in-fighting. Radek always figured it could be traced back to their graduate school days. He was torn over which was the lesser of two evils - the confrontation in the labs or watching Josephine. They both could result in the loss of extremities. Those smart enough to stay out of the fight would be harder to find than an igloo in a snow storm. So the scientists were out.

He would never be able to convince one of the soldiers to help him. And if Rodney found out, well, they'd be lucky if they found enough pieces of Radek's body to have a proper funeral. John, Marc Lorne, and Ford were the only ones he trusted...Ford!

Radek started off as quick as he could without jostling the carrier too much.

He keyed his ear piece as he walked. "Lt. Van Ryn?"

"Yes, Dr. Zelenka?" the young woman responded.

"Have you seen Major Ford?"

"He's in the control room, sir."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." He immediately headed toward the nearest transporter.

"He's not going to be happy with you, sir."

"What was that, Lieutenant? You are breaking up."

The young woman's voice came through loud and clear. "You're a riot, sir."

Zelenka smirked and stepped into the transporter. Once the doors slid open again, he made his way up to the control room.

Ford was indeed there, discussing something with Chuck, the technician on duty.

"Major Ford!" Radek exclaimed as soon as he saw the young man.

"Uh-uh," Ford said, backing up a bit and pointing a warning finger at him. "You got yourself into this mess. Besides, I have things to do. Sheppard's out of commission and Lorne's off-world - that largely leaves me to deal with military matters."

"But I too have things to do," Radek protested. He sounded desperate even to his own ears, but this was not in his job description.

Ford's face (not so young as it had once appeared) took on a stern, hard look. "Then maybe you should have thought of that earlier. It's not my problem."

Radek looked to Chuck for support.

The technician held up his hands in helplessness. "I'm on duty. And, you don't even know my last name."

Radek nearly cried out in frustration. He suddenly felt a surge of sympathy for single parents everywhere. Who knew it was so hard to find a competent person to watch a child?

Radek stomped out into the nearest corridor and took a seat against a wall.

Josie gazed up at him with her remarkably blue eyes.

"No, no. There will be none of that," he warned.

The baby's lower lip moved out a fraction of an inch.

"Now don't try to go cute on me."

But it was too late. Those blue eyes welled up and flowed over and a little pink mouth opened wide in a silent cry.

Radek quickly lifted her out of her carrier and held her against his chest. "No, shh, shh, shh," he murmured. " It is all right. Je to dobre. I am not mad at you. Your father, yes, but not you. You're okay, nothing wrong.”

After a little while Josie calmed down. Radek slowly stood up, the baby still in his arms.

"Aw, Radek!" a woman's voice down the hall cooed. Laura Cadman came towards him accompanied by General Caldwell. She smiled, and said in a voice much sweeter than her usual tone, “Hi, Josie. You’re just being passed around today, aren’t you? Yes, you are; yes, you are.”

“Where is everyone?” Caldwell asked. “The hallways are nearly empty.”

“Chaos among the scientists, Dr. Weir is off-world with Lorne and his team, and Colonel Sheppard is…away.”

“Away?” Caldwell repeated.

“Far away. In a world all his own.”

“Please tell me that that was a figure of speech and not an announcement that Sheppard has got his own planet.”

Zelenka bounced Josie a little. He didn’t really know if that was the right thing to do but he’d seen others doing it. He hoped it was safe. “No, not literal. He is on pain medication for a knee injury.”

“Self-inflicted?”

“No.”

“You’re not going to tell me how he did it, are you?”

“No.”

Caldwell humphed irritably, but Radek was distracted by a tinny voice in his ear.

“Dr. Zelenka?”

“Yes?”

“It’s Dr. Girard. We need you down in the chemistry labs. Now. There's been une petite accidente. ” In the background, Radek could hear loud arguing. There was an enraged scream and a loud crash. Dr. Girard's voice grew distant as he yelled: "No, don't. Mon dieu! Put that down, doctor, maintenant!"

The radio clicked off.

"I must go," said Radek and handed Josie to General Caldwell.

He was four strides from the door before his brain switched into reverse and replayed what he had just done. He slowly turned around, eyes wide.

Caldwell was holding Josie out at arms length, watching her through narrowed eyes as though he expected her to pull something over on him. Radek could almost hear the words "Make my day, punk" pass through Caldwell's head.

But General Caldwell's expression suddenly relaxed into paternal fondness. He placed a gentle kiss on one of Josie's cheeks then calmly handed her to Lt. Cadman. As he strode away, he called over his shoulder, "I want Sheppard to contact me the moment he's no longer doped up."

Cadman settled Josie more comfortably in her arms. "Whew, that was close."

Radek realized he was still gaping when Laura waved a hand at him. "Go on. I've got her."

"Mockrat dekuji. Thank you, thank you," Radek enthused and ran for the door before Laura could change her mind.

It wasn't until he entered the labs and saw the complete mayhem that he realized what he thought as his lucky break wasn't so lucky at all.

TBC - Laura Cadman's up next!

zmatek: chaos

Je to dobre: It is all right

Mockrat dekuji: Thank you very much