Lighthouse - continued

He felt Heero try to pull away again, the movement inside him stung, the friction burning his inner walls. His ass hurt like a bitch and the pain only caused him to tense more. With a painful groan Heero collapsed on top of Duo, panting.

"Duo, please, you have to relax so I can move away."

"Relax? Relax! You think it's so damn easy to relax right now! They're five stories below us, Heero! They'll be up here at any fucking minute! How can I relax!"

Heero sighed and rested his head on Duo's chest, exhausted. Duo tried to focus on the warmth of Heero's cheek pressed against his chest, on Heero's feather like breath caressing his skin, but even that did little to help. He didn't understand how Heero could just lie there, accepting their fate.

"How come you're so fucking calm, huh? Don't you get it? They'll find us like this and it will be the end of us! They'll throw us back into that place and tell all their Ozzie friends how they found us fucking! We'll be the laughing stock of generations to come! They'll fucking rape us too, those bastards. Maybe even force us to fuck in front of them while they laugh their sorry asses off!"

He felt Heero sigh against his chest. "I know."

"Then why the fuck are you so calm! Are you that anxious to get back there! Do you miss what they did to you that much! I sure as hell don't!"

Heero turned to look at him, his eyes shining apologetically. "Duo, I'm... I'm sorry."

"What the hell for!" He snapped, annoyed by Heero's soft spoken manner.

Heero turned away again, staring at the wall. Silence hung heavily in the air. Duo could hear the distant sounds coming from the stories below. Furniture was moved and thrown aside with a loud crash. Muffled shouting filled the air and Duo was pretty damn sure that OZ found their lifejackets. He sighed and looked away from the door, wishing he could be somewhere else other than the damn cot with Heero stuck inside his body.

A warm touch tickled his chest as Heero placed his palm against him. Duo jumped, startled, but soon relaxed as Heero began caressing him lightly. He allowed Heero the odd gesture, listening to the rain. The approaching sound of military boots echoed throughout the lighthouse. OZ began to move up the wooden staircase. He took a faltering breath and closed his eyes, willing himself to be elsewhere for when OZ will walk through the door.

"I'm sorry I can't sympathize with what you've been through." Heero finally whispered. Duo opened his eyes and frowned.

Sympathize? Heero couldn't sympathize! What the hell! Duo had been present at quite a few of Heero's torture sessions, the bastards liked the idea of having them watch as they tortured the other, they thought it would break them. He was here when they ran 10,000 volts through Heero's body one jolt at a time. They let him watch, awaiting his turn, as they electrocuted the other pilot. He watched horrified as Heero puked all over himself and then fainted with his eyes wide open from the electric shock. Likewise, Heero was there to hear him scream when he'd been tortured. What the hell did he mean by "can't sympathize"!

"What the fuck are you talking about!" He finally growled. The dark memories like a blow to the head, and the hate combusted inside him again.

Heaving a long sigh, Heero clenched his fists and looked away from Duo, staring at the wall. There was a short pause before he spoke again.

"After they separated us, they did not transfer me to another cell. I was brought to a medical facility."

"You what!"

"I was held prisoner under medical care for extensive injuries." Heero answered slowly, probably aware of the damage his words were causing. Hate filled Duo again, hot and angry in his veins.

"You bastard," he spat, "You were in a hospital the whole time!"

"Yes." Heero replied evenly, looking up to meet Duo's eyes. "I would have perished if not for them."

"You could have escaped," Duo stated bitterly, his tone cold and harsh as if he had been abandoned by Heero, perhaps betrayed. He knew that reality was far from it, but inside he felt angry, hurt.

"I know that, Duo," Heero whispered, "But I chose to stay."

"Why's that?" Duo muttered as both anger and confusion fought for dominance inside him.

"Because I knew that once they would deem me healthy they will bring me back to the cell." Heero replied simply, his eyes shimmering under the dim light. "It was my best chance to get us both out of there."

The pieces began to slowly fall into place. No wonder Heero was the one with enough strength to carry out their escape plan. No wonder he was the one who didn't falter, didn't faint, and didn't fall to his knees in exhaustion. He had been healthy and strong, despite the injuries that still littered his body. Heero was prepared for their escape the moment they were loaded onto the transfer ship. He knew what to expect, he knew what to do. No wonder he seemed so damn confident!

"You fucking bastard..." Duo muttered, shaking his head.

Heero closed his eyes and bowed his head, letting out a small, frustrated, sigh.

Duo looked away stubbornly and listened to the sound of heavy boots roaming around the lighthouse. The bastards were probably exploring the floors below and would soon reach their room. He bit his lower lip, anxiety coursing through him again as his mind drowned in nightmarish memories. He must have tensed again, but Heero no longer responded. He simply lay against him, breathing silently, waiting for anything that might happen. There wasn't much he could do anyway. Duo closed his eyes and sighed. Toxic feelings flooded him; mocking him for being so useless he couldn't even fuck properly. Damn his body, damn him, damn everything to hell and back!

Hell. Soon he will be thrown back into it. The bastards will surly be thrilled to see him again. They probably had more than a hundred new humiliating tasks for him to perform. Maybe this time Heero and he could share some of the 'after school activities' the bastards enjoyed handing out. He'll be happy to see how Heero would like cleaning the latrine with his tongue while the bastards watched him, laughing like he was a fucking sitcom. Maybe then, when the bastards will force him to masturbate in front of them, Heero would regret not running away from the hospital.

Why did Heero come back for him anyway? What did it all mean? Surely not to kill him, because then he would have done so the minute the cell's door was locked behind them. What was the point in killing him, saving him, doing anything with him? Why did Heero stick around anyway?

"Duo," Heero's whisper brought him back to reality. He wasn't sure he wanted reality anymore. It was easier to be lost in the world of dreams or maybe even the world of nightmares... insanity. At least in those places, he couldn't feel things happening to him the way that he could when he knew for a fact they were real. The things he couldn't escape no matter how hard he tried, how much he want to. And there, right at that moment, Heero was reality. And Duo didn't want to deal with Heero and their situation any more then he wanted to deal with life itself now. Damn Heero for confusing his mind so. Yet things were beginning to make sense to Duo and that prospect too, scared him. No, it couldn't be what he thought... could it possibly be that fucking simple? No way. Duo would never count himself that lucky…

"Duo," Heero tried again, turning his head so he could face Duo. "We still have a chance." Chance? A chance! Yeah right! Like hell they did! What were they going to do? Even if Duo could manage to get himself to relax, where were they going to hide? What were they going to do? Miracles didn't happen for people like them, only pain did. His anger turned into snide sarcasm as Duo felt everything dissolve into failure.

"Right, if you say so." He snorted.

Heero's features hardened at his sarcasm, although his eyes remained unusually kind, understanding. "I promised that I'll get us out and I intend to keep true to my word."

"Well then Heero, good luck to you."

Heero sighed heavily, shaking his head. "I wouldn't have come back for you if I thought it was useless."

Duo turned to look at him harshly. His patience was at an end and the anger was now being replaced with something... deeper. Hurt. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, and under it all Duo knew he wanted to be held and loved by Heero. But, at the moment, the infuriating madness was all that managed to come through. All that managed to speak... "Why did you come back?"

Heero looked at him lengthily. "You really don't know?"

"Enlighten me!"

Heero looked away for a moment, then back at Duo. "I... there is no point doing this without you."

"Doing what exactly!" No, this isn't what he really wanted to say. Stop yourself moron, before you say more words out of anger that you don't mean. Duo tried to listen to his rational mind, but the threads of sanity were wearing terribly thin. It all came down to that, to Heero's response. Whatever Heero had to say, he damn well better speak his mind now, before it was too late. Before everything was too late.

"Living, breathing... anything." Heero replied softly.

Duo's eyes narrowed. "What?" Had he just heard what he thought he did?

"You... I want you to..." Heero paused, stumbling over his words for the first time since Duo met him. "Before we met there was... nothing, I... I simply did what was needed to be done. But now you... you make me do things... feel things I never..." he paused again, looking away in embarrassment. "I am not good with words, Duo. It's... difficult." He looked at him with shimmering eyes, searching for understanding. "I couldn't leave you there... it would have been worse than being there myself. I need you with me, by my side. I... do you understand?"

Duo stared at him, shocked. That was an unexpected turn. Totally not what Duo had expected to hear. The words destroyed the anger, but left Duo with a feeling of complete confusion. How was he supposed to react to this? Fall into Heero's loving embrace? Everything was happening so quickly. No time to even decide how he truly felt... not yet anyway. But wasn't it obvious? Was he just in denial of his own inner feelings?

"Uh, I, uh... think so. Yeah." He managed to mumble.

Heero looked relieved. He released a long breath before meeting Duo's gaze. "Leaving you behind was never an option."

Never an option... the words imprinted themselves in Duo's mind. Never an option. How many things in life were "never an option"? How many things were that solid? Were Heero's feelings for him really that solid? If so, why did he never show it until now? Too many questions flooded his mind.

"Heero... I..." Duo found his body trembling against his will. He couldn't think of anything to say.

Heero then laced his fingers into Duo's and kissed his lips in a gentle kiss. Certainly not the rough, bruising kisses they were both used to. It was a warm and soothing kiss as well and Duo found himself melting into the softness of Heero's lips. His body relaxed reflexively, sinking down onto the cot. So lost in the sensations that he was experiencing, he was almost unaware of Heero sliding out of him. He could almost forget about the impending threat coming up the stairs with a consistent tap of leather boots against the wooden floor. Almost, but not quite.

Heero didn't forget either. He broke the kiss after a few sweet moments and moved away from Duo. Breathless, Duo continued to lie on the small bed, staring at Heero with glazed indigo eyes. His short-circuited mind was unable to process what had happened. It took him a moment to realize that Heero had slid out of him.

Then came a second shock. Heero had kissed him, not before coming close to confess his feelings to him. Out of all things to do at the time, Heero chose to share his feelings, to admit that he cared. What the fuck!

A big question had been answered and yet a thousand more arose. Heero cared for him, but why, and since when? And why the hell didn't he say anything before? Is that why he went along with the sex? Is that why they fucked each night they happened to spend together? And if that was the case, then why did Heero keep it so damn impersonal? Why was it never beyond fucking? If Heero really did care, then why just fucking? Was it something he did to make Heero act that way? Or maybe Heero didn't know any better? But the kiss they had just shared... it expressed things Duo never thought Heero was capable of expressing.

God damn it! What did it all mean? What did he want it to mean? Did he care for Heero too? Yes, no... of course he did! But did he care for him because of what had happened in that place, or did it happen before that... and when? What made him care for Heero anyway? He didn't remember giving his heart permission to do so, the damn traitorous thing! No, no, no! He couldn't care! Not now, not ever, no matter how much he wanted to. It was just sex to make them feel good, that's all. Just fucking. So what if he enjoyed Heero's touch more then anything in his entire fucked up life. So what. It didn't mean anything. He simply couldn't afford the risk of another broken heart, another part of his soul ripped apart from him, another meter or two added to the large chasm inside his chest. He didn't want to be alone, but being that close to someone was even more dangerous. There were no guarantees, especially with Heero.

Was it even worth it? Was Heero worth any of it? Yes, no, maybe... yes. Okay, yes! But not now, maybe not ever. There were far more pressing matters to deal with now! Why was he still lying in bed like a dumb fuck! He was looking too deeply into things. Heero probably just wanted to help him relax so he could pull out. The end always justified the means. The kiss, as sweet and tender as it was, was just a big lie meant to sooth him. He was stressing over nothing. Yes, it was nothing.

Was he happy with that? He didn't want it to be nothing...

"Duo, get up," Heero urged harshly, snapping Duo back into the real world, "There is no time."

Reality crashed upon him like a tidal wave and for a moment he was too disoriented to do anything more than blink. He watched Heero move about the room, collecting their belongings with haste. The sound of tapping boots soon reached his ears and he remembered – there was no time to waste. OZ soldiers were climbing up the stairs and he had no more time to dwell on other matters.

He jumped off the bed and hurried to collect the cans of preserved food from around the room. Heero in the meantime collected the candles, snatching them from various corners. Duo looked around frantically for a place to hide everything. There was no good place to stash everything so he jerked the window open and threw everything out. Heero hurried to follow suit, moving even faster than Duo. They were both still naked and panting from anxiety and effort.

Duo gave the room a quick once over, searching for anything that might give them away. In his mind, a billion thoughts raced simultaneously, trying to figure out a place to hide, a way to fight, and a way to get out of this mess so he could start asking Heero some real questions.

The sound of tapping boots came nearer, probably already on their floor. OZ will be entering the room at any minute now.

"Duo, the window," Heero whispered and immediately began to climb on the desk standing under the said window. Duo nodded hurriedly, agreeing that there was no other choice. Heero looked down and saw a narrow ledge surrounding the perimeter of the lighthouse. He turned to Duo and nodded his head before climbing out.

Duo waited for Heero to exit first and prepared to follow. Then he noticed their wet jumpsuits lying on the floor and hurried to kick them under the bed. The room seemed clean enough of evidence, though the bed was still messy. He made a step towards it but then heard the footsteps echoing loudly behind the closed door.

To hell with it, he thought grimly, knowing that it didn't matter now. OZ will find them eventually. He jumped towards the window and climbed out of the room. He had but a split second to close the shutter behind him as the door opened.

The ledge suspended at least fifteen meters above ground level, facing the sea cliff. The overhang was about twenty meters high, offering a nasty fall onto a rocky ocean surface. It was a long way down to where the waves crashed against a rocky coastline, a quick clean death if he chose to take it.

The ocean stretched into a dark horizon, stars shining in the clear black skies. The storm had faded, the rain clouds drifted elsewhere. Without the rain the night was eerily silent, only the whisper of the waves calling out softly. A large white moon hung over the black ocean, washing the waves with glittering white sparkles.

Nature's beauty managed to leave him in awe for a few seconds until everything else registered. It was arctic cold outside and the air froze in his lungs. He gasped as his entire body went rigid from the cold. Goosebumps covered his nude form and he felt himself shrink away, trying to hide from the cold.

"Fuck!" He hissed in between clenched teeth and pressed his naked back against the lighthouse outer wall. The surface was as cold as ice, biting into his flesh, but it was either that or to lose his balance and fall into a rocky death. As much as that thought appealed to him, he wanted to leave that jump as a last resort.

Looking up and away from the chasm ahead of him, he turned to look at Heero. His fellow pilot stood at the other side of the window, also naked and pressed against the wall. He could see that Heero's fists were clenched, the only evidence of his current state of mind. Heero's features were completely blank, giving away nothing. Duo wanted to punch him in the face for that, but thought otherwise when he noticed that Heero too was shivering from the extreme cold. Soon they would both freeze their balls off and that would be enough of a punishment, right?

He smirked at the thought, escaping reality for a few precious seconds. Then he heard the bastards' heavy military boots enter the room. He recognized that sound well, it had haunted his sleep in that place for many nights. Oh God no...

He closed his eyes and tried to send his mind elsewhere, far far away. He could hear the bastards rummage through the room and realized that they could probably see that it had been occupied recently. For the love of God, the bed was probably still warm! God damn it! It probably reeked of sex too!

Fuck, fuck, fuck, dammit! How could they be so careless!

With his eyes clenched tight he curled his fists and began running demolition plans in his head, trying anything in his power to escape, anything to ignore the words he could hear the bastards exchange between them. They probably figured that something was up. Their recapture was nearing at mach ten point nine per second!

Heero said they would be safe there for a while! He... he promised... and Duo trusted him, just like he had trusted him to get them out of that place. He wanted to believe in Heero more than anything. If he couldn't believe in Heero, what will he believe in?

He opened his eyes, shocked at his own revelation. Was Heero really all that he had left to believe in? Was Heero all he had in the world?

Slowly, he turned his head to look at his fellow pilot... no, his friend. His... occasional lover? Or was he the only person who made him smile for real, who made him feel at ease? The only person he allowed to look into his darkness, the only person who will never turn away once he saw it, who will face the dark underworld that poisoned his soul and will not even flinch.

What did it make him then? His savior? His death? His lover? His fuck buddy? His comrade? His cell mate? His companion? His friend? His... what?

His Heero. There was just no other way to put it. Heero was all of the above and more. So much more... too much to put into words and earthly definitions. No human mind had been able to describe such an emotion properly and he was no different. Being neither a poet nor a scholar he couldn't care for phrasing things right. He was happy to simply feel it, deep down inside. It was something genuine and warm. New warmth filled him, chasing away the biting cold.

He looked up at Heero, studying the boy's moonlit profile. The same features he had memorized by heart only an hour ago. He was probably the first to give them so much notice. He wanted to know what Heero saw in him too, what he thought about when he looked at his face. He wanted to know how deep was the care that Heero had confessed to earlier, but then again, after looking lengthily at Heero's profile, washed with moonlight, worry and fear, he was rather certain that he knew how deep it went. Deeper than the chasm gaping in front of them, deeper than the chasm that stretched inside of him, deeper than the dark hell OZ was going to throw them into.

He didn't need to hear Heero say those words and explain, one look into his eyes, even from the side, told him everything. The moment he realized that, he no longer wished to jump into an inventible death. He will cling to life by tooth and nail if necessary, just as Heero would. It was the only way for them to be together, for death offered nothing but darkness, he should know.

Heero must have noticed that he was being looked at, and turned to face Duo. Once again Duo was mystified by the way the light caught in Heero's eyes. The moonlight reflected on the cobalt surface in a somewhat celestial shine. If there were angles, Duo mused, they lived in Heero's blue eyes. The thought filled him with more warmth and he smiled at Heero, despite his chattering teeth and shivering body.

Heero responded with a frown, probably confused by the smile. It was okay, Duo never expected him to get it.

They remained on the narrow ledge for what felt like, and probably was, a good hour. The cold had numbed both their bodies to the point of callousness and fatigue. OZ refused to leave the lighthouse, scanning it again and again, turning furniture over violently. They wracked havoc inside and all Duo could do was flinch each time he heard a table or a closet being smashed to bits.

He gazed at the vast ocean, his dull eyes counting the waves as they glittered under the moonlight. Cold wind returned to caress his body with invisible icy fingers. It was hard to believe that only a while ago it had been Heero's warm fingers against his skin. Closing his eyes he concentrated on that, letting the illusions of hot sex warm his frozen body.

Once a horny bastard, always a horny bastard, he smirked inwardly. He was a hopeless case, but at that point his mind was willing to do anything to escape the cold. He briefly wondered if he could get it up under such extreme cold. That would make one hell of an achievement. If he were to die right now, he would like to have it engrave on his tomb that Duo Maxwell could still get it up under a temperature of minus ten fucking degrees. Wouldn't that make a good laugh?

His mind continued wandering, too cold and numb to remember where he was and why. Something in the back of his head kept reminding him that he should watch his balance and lean against the icy wall, but he no longer knew why. It had something to do with Heero, no? That must be it, because he wouldn't go through such an annoying experience for anyone else. He'd collect his pay later, it's been quite a long while since he last fucked Heero. Oh yes, there would be hell to pay for making him feel so cold and aching. Where was Heero anyway? He couldn't see him anywhere. Oh wait, he should open his eyes first...

His neck was stiff but he moved it anyway, something telling him that he had to look sideways if he wanted to see Heero. He chuckled when he finally spotted him a short distance to his left. Heero was standing completely nude by a narrow window, his pale skin washed by moonlight and his hair tousled wildly by the wind. What the fuck was he thinking, standing naked in such a frigid weather? What a strange way to try to kill himself!

Heero turned to look at him, blinking slowly. His lips were completely blue and Duo felt suddenly worried. He shouldn't be standing like this in the cold! And what the fuck was he doing standing on a narrow ledge suspended over a cliff? Duo's eyes widened impossibly as he looked down at the rocks below. Was Heero going to jump!

"Duo," Heero whispered, teeth chattering, "look at me."

Duo looked down at himself and noticed that he was naked too. Well no wonder it was so fucking cold!

"Duo," Heero tried again, "Snap out of it. If you go into shock you will fall."

Oh he wouldn't want that, it was a pretty long fall and the rocky bottom seemed nasty. He looked up at Heero, slowly, and blinked a few times.

"Hey Heero, it's fucking freezing, let's go back inside," he slurred, lips numb and heavy, "You can jump later."

"I am not going to jump, Duo." Heero answered slowly, his voice barely above a whisper. "And it is not safe inside. You are in shock."

"Well duh! It's not every day I find myself standing naked at the edge of a cliff!" He said animatedly, waving his hands in the air until he almost lost his balance. "Who wouldn't be shocked!"

"Duo, be quiet!" Heero called out and extended a hand towards him, though out of reach. "Stay still!"

"Yanno Heero, if you move around a bit you won't be so cold." Duo stated in an all-knowing manner, waving his hand in front of his face. "Hmm... we should do some exercises!"

"Duo, don't move!" Heero called out harshly and began to move towards him, "I'm coming over."

Duo watched Heero make a slow, careful approach, sliding cautiously against the cold wall. He stepped over the window to Duo's part of the ledge. All the while the wind howled loudly around them, making Heero's approach even more difficult.

Did Heero say something about shock? It was really hard to think, they should go inside and get warm. If he stayed out in the cold for too long he really will go into shock! He'd seen enough medical TV dramas to know that!

When he looked up again Heero was already standing next to him, still naked and pale as a ghost. He really should put some clothes on, not that he minded the view... but still, Heero looked better when he was hot and sweaty. Heh, and screaming his name, shaking and thrashing beneath him... God he should fuck him sometime soon! It was the only time Heero truly let go. Maybe that's why it was so rare... Heero hardly ever let him fuck him.

"Duo, look at me," Heero whispered and Duo smirked.

"I am!"

Heero sighed in annoyance and placed two chilly fingers under Duo's chin, pulling his head up so they were looking eye to eye. Duo chuckled.

"Oh, you meant up here!"

"Duo," Heero said his name again, slowly, harshly. Duo had to wonder what he did wrong.

"You need to focus, don't give in to the cold."

His teeth began to chatter violently again. He stood and stared at Heero, his eyes becoming unfocused as he gazed at Heero's ice-blue lips. He wondered if the inside of Heero's mouth was still warm... maybe he could get warmer if he moved a bit closer... maybe into his mouth a little... to get warm...

Heero's freezing arms were suddenly around him, holding him when his feet gave way. It took him too long to realize that he almost fell and it was Heero who caught him. They stood embraced, Heero's grip so tight around his waist, and his face buried in Heero's naked, ice-cold shoulder.

He took a quivering breath, trying to calm his racing heart. It hurt when it beat so fast. With his eyes closed he concentrated on the little warmth their two frozen bodies shared. It was probably nothing more than an illusion of warmth, but it was enough to help him come back to his senses. Things slowly began to settle with him and he shook his head against Heero, trying to clear the fog engulfing his mind.

"I'm all right," he finally whispered, his voice small and hoarse, "I just lost it for a sec, I'm all right."

He could feel Heero nod, the movement rubbing against the top of his head. "Try to keep awake, it will be over soon."

"I wish they'd just leave already..." he mumbled tiredly, leaning heavily against Heero. When he felt Heero shake he realized that the strain must be too much and forced himself to gain some balance.

"They will leave soon," Heero promised, and Duo did the only thing he could do – he believed him.

The two embraced teens continued to stand on the narrow ledge, Heero leaning sideways against the wall, his arms wrapped tightly around Duo who stood facing forward, only his head leaning sideways onto Heero's shoulder. It must have been difficult for Heero to keep his balance like that, Duo thought, and he appreciated Heero even more for the life saving embrace. If it wasn't for Heero's arms around him, he would have fallen long ago.

Time continued to crawl forward in an agonizing pace. With each moment that passed Duo leaned more of his weight against Heero, his heavy eyelids closing before he forced them to open again. If he fell asleep, it would be the last time he would close his eyes and he didn't want that. Not when he finally had someone to open his eyes for.

Sounds drifted from inside the lighthouse, sometimes dim and distant, sometimes frighteningly near. Soldiers returned to inspect the bedroom time and time again, convinced that there was something they were missing. Each time they rummaged through the room Duo's heart stopped beating, certain that the end was near.

He didn't realize that he'd been drifting to sleep until he heard the bedroom door creak open for the umpteenth time. Heero's body tensed and his grip around him tightened. Duo smiled softly, enjoying the feeling of protection. Opening his eyes, he turned his gaze up to Heero's face. He studied him quietly, enjoying the faint outlines the moonlight created over Heero's features. His jaw was tense and a stern frown hardened his face. His eyes shone with too many emotions, so many that even the unearthly moonlight failed to illuminate them all.

Suddenly, a small scrapping noise came from the direction of the window. Both boys became rigid, hearts pounding wildly. Duo swallowed hard, trying to breathe over the overflowing sense of fear. Someone was at the window.

The scrapping noise returned, followed by a silent creak and a light groan. Someone was trying to open the window. Duo held his breath and watched, his fearful eyes gazing at the window behind the shelter of Heero's head. Heero too had turned his head to look, and Duo was certain that there was a deadly glare awaiting anyone who might peek outside. He waited breathlessly to see the face of their captor.

A small, red headed soldier poked his head out the window, looking at the opposite direction so all Duo could only see was the back of his curly, red-haired head. Heero's grip around him tightened even more, nearly crushing his hipbones. He had to give Heero credit for still being able to draw that much strength. He half expected Heero to start growling like some guard dog, so strong was the sense of protection emitting from him.

The redheaded soldier turned his head their way, and froze. For a moment time stood completely still and not even the sound of breath broke the silence of the night.

Duo stared numbly at the young soldier, gazing at his freckled face, and thought that he looked more like a high school kid who hadn't even reached puberty rather than an intimidating solider who was about to throw them back to hell. The redhead kid was about their age, and he too seemed shocked to see them. Duo couldn't blame him, considering their current unclothed and embraced state.

The Ozzie kid continued to stare and Duo simply stared back. Heero, for some reason, did the same, making no move aside from glaring at the freckled boy.

At long last, the young soldier sighed and moved back inside, closing the window behind him. Duo and Heero continued to stare, the shock allowing them nothing else but to look at the closed window in disbelief.

Duo's legs began to shake violently until they almost gave way. He caught himself in the last possible second, grabbing Heero's shoulders forcefully for support.

"Did he just... leave?" He whispered, voice quivering.

"Yes," Heero whispered back, "He did."

Duo could not begin to fathom why, he was just grateful to hear the bastards leave the lighthouse. A few minutes later the sound of jet engines roared as two black Aireses lifted into the air. Duo watched them soar into the sky, disappearing above the black ocean.

Silence returned, falling over the lighthouse like a soft blanket. They were safe.

"Why did he..." Duo began and trailed off.

"Perhaps he pitied us." Heero offered and carefully released Duo from his hold. He began moving towards the window.

Duo snorted. "Pitied us? Are you for real!"

Heero shrugged. Duo watched him struggle to open the window with stiff fingers that didn't seem to cooperate anymore.

"I don't need no OZ pity..." He mumbled stubbornly and came to assist Heero with the window, as if to prove his point somehow. Together, they opened the windowpane and entered the lighthouse.

Duo stumbled off the desk and fell onto the floor, glad to be out of the cold. The heat was like sauna compared to what went outside, it was wonderful. Duo had never been so grateful to sit his naked ass on a hard wooden floor. Life had its sweet moments, and that moment was definitely one of them.

Looking up, he saw Heero also sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed. He too seemed exhausted and unable to move. The two boys remained seated on the floor and allowed their aching, nude bodies time to recover. Heero, of course, was the first to move again. He reached a hand to the bed and pulled the covers off swiftly. He threw one at Duo and wrapped the other around himself.

More heat surrounded Duo when he cocooned himself in the blanket. His teeth were still chattering though, and his skin quickly covered with Goosebumps, unaccustomed to the heat. A shiver ran from his neck and down his spine, making him shake like a dog out of the water. The chill was ten times colder now that he had the heat of a blanket. Damn frigid weather.

Still shaking, he crawled towards Heero and sat so that their bodies pressed side to side. He wrapped the blanket around them both, sharing body heat. Heero looked at him silently, nor a question or confusion in his eyes. In fact, he leaned his head against Duo's shoulder, slumping down heavily in exhaustion. Before Duo could even open his mouth to speak, Heero had fallen asleep. Duo soon followed him into slumber, and both boys slowly slid to the floor, asleep in a pile of cozy wool.

Warm rays of sunshine tickled Duo's skin, signaling his body to awake. The sensation was divine, heating the wool blanket around him and caressing his skin. With little recollection of where he was and why, his mind only registered warmth and the softness of another's skin pressed against him. He snuggled closer to the warm body, half-awake dreams of sex heating his loins.

He rolled over, tossing inside the warm blanket, raising dust into the air. Coughing, he opened his eyes, finally realizing the reason why he was wrapped in a blanket. He was no longer in the holding cell; he was lying on the floor of a lighthouse with Heero lying next to him, naked and warm.

Too warm, he realized, and reached a hand to touch Heero's flushed features. The boy was running a slight fever. It made sense, after their nightly artic adventure. Duo was used to the cold, so he was more resilient to it. He wouldn't catch a cold from one night of freezing his ass off. Heero, however, seemed less durable in that aspect. All the more reason to stay in bed, Duo decided and pushed closer to Heero. He wrapped an arm around the boy's heated torso, and rested his head on the teen's chest.

Heero slept soundly, his chest rising and falling with shallow breath. Once in a while he let out a cough, rocking Duo's head which lay on his sweaty chest. Duo drifted back to sleep, the rhythm of Heero's life lulling him into sweet slumber.

When he awoke a second time, Heero was already up and staring into thin air. His body was still warm with fever, a tint of red painting his cheeks. Duo studied his features for a while, enjoying the silent moment. His lips began to tingle with the need to kiss Heero. He pushed himself up, slowly, and pressed a soft kiss to Heero's lips. Heero turned to look at him, a small, wary question in his eyes – 'now?'. Duo couldn't blame him, for he was sure that Heero was not up to it yet, not to their usual sex that is. Little did Heero know that he had something else in mind.

He placed his palm on Heero's chest, caressing him gently. Looking into the boy's cobalt eyes, he smiled softly.

"Let me be the one to..." he whispered until his voice trailed off, enchanted by the shine in Heero's eyes. The soft winter sunlight made them shine beautifully. "Let me show you what I feel..." He whispered again and buried his face in Heero's chest, kissing him softly.

He felt Heero's breathing falter, his neck muscles stretching as he nodded his head in agreement. Duo never expected him to submit so quickly, and he was thankful for the trust. Knowing Heero as well as he did – and only now did he realize that– he knew what it meant for Heero to give himself up like that. It was a gift he will forever cherish.

He kissed Heero's body, sliding his tongue over hot skin and salty sweat. Heero laid beneath him, panting silently, his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open, face washed with needy pleasure. Duo licked and nibbled, touching everywhere but Heero's most sensitive spots. Long ago he drew a mental map of where he should travel to evoke pleasure in his lover's body, he knew him so well, but he avoided those spots on purpose. He intended to drive Heero mad with passion, to test his desire, his willingness to share something deeper than just sex.

From Heero's moaning and thrashing, it seemed as though the plan was working. Heero wasn't as anxious as usual, allowing Duo the long foreplay. Perhaps he was too tired to do otherwise, but Duo was certain that it was more than that. He was showing Heero something new, something more than just fucking. His mind was set on making it their most pleasurable union so far. His mouth failed him when it came to verbally express the things he truly felt, but his body didn't know how to lie. Not to Heero.

The sex they knew so far became more than just plain fucking. Heero trembled, weak with passion and hot with lust. Duo felt him shake beneath him, his whole body tensing and relaxing again and again. He tried to push his chest up into Duo's mouth when Duo circled a tongue around his nipple, refusing to suck the erect nub just yet. Duo couldn't help but smirk. His lover was unused to so much teasing, foreplay was never a part of their act. He wondered how long Heero would last. Could he make him cum without touching him at all?

Looking up at his lover's face he saw that Heero had turned away from him, a hand thrown over his eyes to conceal his needy expression. His mouth was hanging open though; his cheeks flushed a strong shade of red. Sweat trickled down his temples and messy locks of hair clung to his sweaty skin. When Duo's fingers hovered above his hipbone and down to his groin, Heero licked his lips eagerly, hips jerking up as a small moan escaped him.

He almost pitied his lover when he began thrusting his hips up, letting out small, choked whimpers each time their erections brushed. Duo gave in to the needy gesture and rewarded Heero with a bit of friction. He refused to create a rhythm, and soon moved his attention elsewhere, teasing Heero's body further. The boy beneath him let out a small sob.

Duo smiled, his eyes shining with joy. He continued teasing his lover, watching his face intently as Heero began to moan his name, in short, raspy breaths, squirming under him, glowing with heat and desire. He was too beautiful to put into words, Duo never wanted to stop even as Heero started pleading with him.

"Touch me... touch me..." he whispered longingly, hiding his face from shame, refusing to lift his arm from over his eyes. Duo found the gesture endearing. He smiled gently and leaned to kiss Heero's exposed neck. He traced his tongue up the stretched neck, one hand twisting a nipple as the other reached down to caress the boy's groin.

Heero gasped loudly, his body twitching as if in pain. His panting grew harsher, desperate and wild.

"Why won't you touch me..? N-nugh... please, ahh... touch me Duo... touch me!" He repeated over and over, trying to push himself into his lover's skilled hands.

"Don't worry, Heero..." Duo panted into his ear, also having a hard time to keep himself for advancing further. "I'll touch you... I'll touch you hard and deep."

At those words a loud groan tore from Heero, and he thrust his head aside, shaking with burning need. His harsh breathing filled the room, interrupted only by his throaty moans. He placed an arm over his face again, embarrassed by the sounds his lover was forcing out of him.

"I like it... when we're like this..." He confessed silently, panting, the words coming out in short gasps.

Duo stopped, sitting up a bit. He gently pried Heero's arm off his face, placing it aside so he could look into his eyes. ""Then why didn't we do this before?" He asked honestly.

Heero blinked a few times, adjusting to the light, and then stared ahead in thought.

"I..." he began, hesitating, "I wasn't sure I was allowed."

"You thought I only liked it rough?" Duo asked, his hand caressing Heero's chest absentmindedly.

Heero shook his head and slowly turned to look at Duo. He held his gaze for a moment before speaking. "I didn't want to alarm you with my feelings. I... I can barely come to terms with them myself."

Duo's heart skipped a beat. "How long have you been feeling like this?"

Heero closed his eyes, breathing slowly as he thought. "It feels like forever, I can't tell the exact timing."

"Since that place?" Duo pressed on, moving away from Heero. The issue was making him wary. Thoughts of that place surfaced once again, their sting bitter and angry. He shouldn't have brought it up.

Heero turned to look at him, a calm, silent light in his blue eyes. "No, Duo. I assure you that it didn't start there."

"You know those bastards did some pretty nasty shit to me. I don't need your pity and I don't need to be your charity case if you feel guilty or something. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, Duo, and that's not why I want to be with you. I'm sorry for what they did to you. I was kept heavily sedated, but when I was awake, all I thought about was you. I asked about you, but the doctors had no answers for me. They simply put me back to sleep."

"I was sure you were dead. Do you have any idea how that felt like? Do you know how shitty I feel whenever we go on separate missions? Do you know how much it hurts to be apart from you? How it hurts to even admit it?"

Heero smiled gently, a gesture that surprised Duo. He was even more surprised when Heero reached a hand up and wiped away his tears. Tears he didn't even remember shedding. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"I know exactly how that feels," Heero said quietly, "and I am grateful for feeling this way. It gives me a reason to move forward, to survive. When we are apart, I long to see you again. That is why I've been a bit... rough, when we finally met. I'm sorry."

"We're totally fucked up, you know that?" Duo mumbled in embarrassment, looking away. His heart was beating so fast he thought it would explode, or maybe stop. "And just for the record, I happen to like it rough." He added in an attempt to lighten things up.

Heero nodded, a hint of a smile hovering over his lips.

They gazed at each other lengthily, studying the way the sunlight played games of shadow over the other's naked body. Once again Duo wondered what was it that Heero saw when he gazed at him so intently. Or was it fondly?

"What do you see?" He finally dared asking, tilting his head aside in a curious, almost childish, manner.

Heero frowned before his features softened once more. "When I look at you?"

Duo nodded, anxious to hear the answer.

Silence fell as Heero seemed to ponder over the question. For a long while the two boys merely stared at each other. Duo was beginning to get nervous.

"I enjoy looking at you," Heero finally said, shrugging his shoulders against the floor. "I can't seem to get enough of it."

"Yeah, but what do you think about when you look at me?" Duo insisted, unsatisfied with the answer. Surly there was something that caught Heero's eyes!

Again Heero paused to think it over, his gaze drifting across the room before settling on Duo's face again.

"Nothing," he said simply, "Nothing at all."

Duo blinked, dumbfound. "You don't think of anything?" He echoed dumbly, staring at Heero in disbelief. To him it seemed like the wheels were always turning in Heero's head. He always had a calculated gaze, a look in his eyes that always assessed, analyzed and scrutinized every little detail. That look was always there except for... except for when Heero looked at him. Did that mean... what did it mean, exactly!

"So I make you think of... nothing." Duo repeated, slowly, confused as hell.

Heero nodded, that half-of-a-smile still twisting his lips. His blue eyes shone brighter than usual, but then again it might have been the sunlight. "Is that so bad? I feel at ease when I look at you."

"I'm not that interesting." Duo muttered, looking away in embarrassment. But neither was Heero and he couldn't keep his eyes off him either. His features, his eyes, and the way his hair stuck out in every possible direction. He liked stealing glanced at him, especially when he was doing everyday things like brushing his teeth or getting dressed. Better yet, getting undressed...

Slumping his shoulders, Duo let out a long sigh. Maybe that's what Heero enjoyed looking at too, for whatever odd reason. Maybe that was the whole point, liking each other for everything and nothing at all. He should stop searching for a reason behind everything. Some things just happened. He had always accepted that shit happened to him no matter what, so why shouldn't he regard the good things the same way?

Did it really matter why and when he started feeling this love for Heero? Did it make a difference if it was because he had the most fuckable ass in the universe or because he had the most enigmatic and fascinating mind in the world? In the end it didn't matter if it was Heero's looks, mind or soul that captured his heart. What's done is done, all that mattered now was how he would handle it.

At that moment, looking down at Heero lying under him, content and relaxed, a shadow of a smile on his usual stoic features, Duo decided to simply accept things as they were. He had full faith in Heero and that was all that mattered. He was willing to forgive his heart for the slipup, and hope for the best. There wasn't much point doing otherwise.

He sighed, not sad or angry, but relieved. His chest felt somewhat lighter, the chasm less deep. He smiled down at Heero, gently, and counted the different shades in his eyes. They truly were brighter when Heero smiled. The two simply smiled at each other, feeling no need for words.

Soon they will have to leave their shelter and face reality, Duo thought in disappointment. They will have to leave the safety of the lighthouse and face the real world again. Fighters such as themselves could not afford to take time off and celebrate love. Too much depended on them, even when no one cared what would become of them. He had nothing waiting for him outside the lighthouse, no one who would care if he was safe and sound. No one who would wait for him to come back from a bloody battle. No one but Heero. He had little time left to show Heero how much he meant to him, how important was the love he was offering so freely. If nothing else, they should at least make the most of the time they had.

With that thought in mind, Duo leaned towards his lover's body, eager to chase the worry away with the taste of Heero on his tongue, the feeling of his flesh under his fingers. Worry should be left for later, he decided, traveling up and down Heero's body. For now all he wanted was to make Heero feel good, maybe even loved and cared for. He wanted to be the first and only person to make Heero feel that way, and he set on the task to bond their bodies by flesh and soul.

The sex was sweet and slow, heartwarming. They moved against each other in perfect rhythm, expressing everything their inexperienced mouths could not say. Heero sunk comfortably into a submissive role, allowing Duo to teach him what he's yet to learn. It was a learning experience for Duo as well, and he was happy to be in the leading role, guiding Heero into regions of pleasure he's yet to explore. There was no sign of the roughness they used to show each other. Their lovemaking was careful and tender, sugary and warm on Duo's tongue.

He thrust slowly into Heero, in and out again and again. Names were rasped in heat of passion, arms groping and holding onto the other with feverish lust. They joined together again and again, losing count of how many times they touched heaven. Golden rays of sunset caressed their sweaty skin and still they continued into the night. A small spark that had begun burning in their hearts, back in the days before their capture, grew stronger with each touch, each tender whisper. Their lovemaking was like fuel added to the fire, and the sparkle grew and grew each time they opened their body to each other. The small glitter had been hard to keep burning during lonely prison hours, but Duo had shielded it no less. Now he could finally let it go, unleash the flame and allow it to consume him whole. He burnt for Heero, inside and outside, the fire eating away at all that was wrong, lighting the darkness inside him, making bridges tumble over the chasm in his heart.

In a technological era with no need for loners to live in a round structure by the shore, Duo still found a need for a lighthouse. Life had its ups and downs, full of dark moments and uncertain fog. Through it all there was a single person who stood firm against the storm, whose shining light withstood all hardship and wrong. He was Duo's own private lighthouse, his shelter, his home. Years from now, when asked, Duo will look back and say that he fell in love with Heero Yuy in an old, abandoned lighthouse, and ever since that day, Heero had become his shelter, a fire in the night, his candle at the window, his beacon in the storm.

Owari.

Author's Notes: This fic will probably be my last serious Gundam Wing fic. I might write drabbles or ficlets in the future (but I can't promise that), however this is the last long piece I'm writing about that show. My love for Gundam Wing has, well, to put it gently – burnt out. It was a real struggle to write this one (it took me 3 months when it's only 40 pages long. Fics like Claudine, which was 60+ pages, took me less than a week.), and so I decided it is time to move on. Nothing is final yet, but I believe that this is it for me & GW.

That is why I will REALLY appreciate your review on this fic... anything you'll have to say about it will be welcomed.