Title: Doctor Rock (20/20)

Author: DockRock06
Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to ER, they own to all the wonderful people who write the storylines which we all love so much, including the one which I got this idea from. But I do own James Barnett, and other characters to come. The police and other ones that I'm sure all you cleaver people will be able to guess
Spoilers: Season 12, 'If Not Now'
Content Warning: Some adult themes i.e. Rape and mentions of abuse, like hitting.

In this chapter I am having it where Kerry already got her operation and has no crutch. For reasons that you will see later on.

Sorry for not updating sooner! Well I am sorry to say that this will be the last chapter, but don't worry because there is a big twist in the tale! And it will also be very long! I also want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed my story along the way!

Well now for the last time I say 'on with the story'

CHAPTER 20: An end to this nightmare?

Ray woke the next morning to the sound of Neelas' heartbeat beneath his ear. Ray sighed as he thought about what had happened the night before, he had lost it and he wanted to apologize to Abby, even though Neela told him that it was alright he still wanted to, he didn't want to be like that, losing his temper over things that weren't as bad as he was making them out to be, that would mean that he was like his father and he didn't want that.

Sensing that Ray was awake, Neela moved her hand to his back where she began rubbing gentle circles on it as she said,

'Go back to sleep Ray, stop thinking about last night' Neela smiled when she saw Ray sit up in bed to look at her with a small grin in his face.

'How…' Ray smiled back at Neela, how did she always know what he was thinking? It was as if she knew everything about him and now that he came to think about it Ray realized just how close of friends he had become with Neela. He didn't think that he liked her only as a friend anymore, and after the kiss last night he was almost certain that she felt the same way.

Neela sat up and ran her hand through Rays messy hair before she lightly kissed him and said

'Well Ray, I know you inside out, of course I know what you're thinking' Neela swung her legs to the side of the bed and stretched before getting up and heading to the bedroom door, and she turned back when she noticed that Ray hadn't gotten up yet but was looking after her in astonishment.

'Come on lazy, we are going to get breakfast and then go to county.'

Neela walked out into the kitchen and began making coffee and pulling out bowls for cereal, as Ray followed behind her, stretching as he went.

As they ate their cereal Ray and Neela sat in a comfortable silence, neither knowing what to say. After a few minutes Ray broke the silence by saying in a quiet voice,

'Thank you' Neela looked straight into his hazel eyes and could see the honesty and the sincerity in them and she reached across the table and picked his hand up in hers,

' You know that I would always look out for you'

After his breakfast Ray went and got a quick shower and got changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He knew that he wasn't going to county to work today, so he didn't have to hold back on his more casual clothes. He was in fact going in so that he could talk with Kerry, something which she had requested. Neela had offered to go along with Ray, but he knew that he had to do this on his own.

Ray threw all of his wet towels in the hamper and then left the bathroom for Neela. Walking into the living room Ray let out a small laugh as he saw Neela dart to the bathroom with her arms full of clothes and towels. Sitting down on the couch Ray let his mind unweave and he couldn't help but fell the knot of nerves in his stomach at having to face Kerry Weaver. He didn't blame Abby for making Luka tell Kerry, but he did wish that she didn't have to find out.

Twenty minutes later Neela emerged from the bathroom fully dressed and as she rounded the couch to stand in front of Ray she noticed that he was staring off into space.

'Ray…Ray' Neela clicked her fingers in front of Ray, which seemed to snap him out of whatever daydream he had been in because he looked at her with a shocked expression before blushing slightly at the fact that he had been caught zoned out.

'So are you ready then?' Ray nodded to Neela and within minutes both of them had their coats on and where out the door to make the long walk to the EL.

Thirty minutes after they had left their apartment Neela and Ray where both making their way through the doors of the busy E.R.

'Ray man! Good to see you back' Ray didn't even have a chance to answer before he felt Pratt giving him a hard pat on the back before walking off down the hall to go to see to another patient.

Neela looked at Ray and noticed that he looked as if he was a bit nervous and wasn't the least bit shocked that he was. Taking his hand she walked into the doctors lounge where she closed the door behind her and locked it after making sure that it was in fact empty, and then turning to Ray, still holding his hand in her own, she said quietly,

'You do know that if you want me to come I will' Neela really did want to come; she wanted to be there for Ray like he had always been there for her.

'What, no, it's fine really. I mean the ER looks hectic anyway. But thank you' Ray gave Neela a soft smile as if to tell her that he did appreciate everything that she had done, but he had to do this one thing on his own.

Nodding her head in compliance Neela pulled Ray into a hug before she left the lounge and went to start her shift. Glancing at his watch Ray noticed that it was getting closer to the time that Kerry had said to meet him, and so he decided that he would head on up. Walking out of the lounge Ray made his way over to the elevator and pushed to button which would take him to the floor where Kerry Weavers office was.

The wait in the lift seemed like hours for Ray, when in reality it was only a couple of minutes. Hearing the 'ping' which signaled that the lift had reached it destined floor Ray was dragged back to reality and walked down the hall to the desk where Kerry's own personal receptionist sat.

'Ah...hi I'm Ray Barnett, I have a meeting' Ray smiled at the woman behind the counter. She was in her mid-forties and had a warm smile. The woman scanned her eyes down the computer before she found what she was looking for and then said to Ray, in what sounded like a New York accent, but he couldn't be quite sure,

'Go ahead, she's waiting for you' Ray smiled at the woman before he walked over to the door and knocked it, before hearing the familiar voice telling him to come in, and then he pushed the door open to see a aggravated Kerry Weaver. He was shocked however when he saw that he face softened whenever she saw that it was him, and she actually smiled at him.

'Take a seat Ray'. Kerry Weaver motioned to one of the large chairs that where sitting in front of her table. Walking over Ray sat down and tried to calm the nauseous feeling that he was getting in the pit of his stomach. It wasn't that he didn't like Kerry, because he did but he wouldn't admit that to anyone else. He knew that she was only ever giving him a hard time because she wanted him to do his best, and sometimes he was glad that she did.

'I know that you probably don't really want to be here Ray, but I just want you to know that you do have friends that care a lot about you'

Ray sat looking down at his hands in his lap, and he noticed that they were shaking slightly. He did know that he had friends, but he also knew that his father would do anything to hurt anyone who he cared about, and that was one of the reasons that he had not wanted them to be too involved.

Kerry walked round to the front of her table and came to stand in front of Ray, and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder she said,

'Look I know you Ray and I also know that you probably just want to carry on like none of this ever happened, but you can't because it isn't healthy. I think that maybe you should talk to one of the councilors in the hospital, get this thing off your chest'

Ray eventually lifted his gaze to look at Kerry, but it quickly returned to his hands again when he noticed that she was giving him the same pitying look that everybody else had.

'I'm fine, I don't need to talk to anybody' Ray told her in a somewhat shaky voice, feeling his emotions beginning to rise to the surface again, but he was determined not to let them. Ray knew that she wouldn't believe that, because the truth was, he wasn't even sure if he believed it himself. Would he be O.K?

Crouching in front of Ray, Kerry took one of his hands in her own, and even she felt that it was shaking slightly. Putting her hand on his face to make him look at her she said,

'Ray you're not and you won't be unless you talk about it. I mean you can't even look me in the eye whenever you're talking to me'

Ray felt the lump in his throat and the tears beginning to well up in his eyes and lifted his face to look at Kerry he said quietly,

'But I can't talk about it' Ray knew that what he was saying probably sounded dumb and childish to her, but to him it was the truth. He couldn't stand to think about it, let alone tell anyone what had happened.

Kerry got up from her crouched position on the floor and sat on the seat beside Ray,

'Ray Luka told me all about your father, I think that maybe it would be best if you did talk to someone. Stop this before it gets any worse'

Ray let out a humorless laugh before he said, 'It can get worse?'

Kerry didn't know what to say to that. She felt saddened by the fact that Ray didn't seem to want any help. She had grown to like him a while after he had started at county and she always knew that he didn't have a good family and that was why he didn't ever talk about them. But she wasn't expecting that Luka had came and told her the two days ago. She just wanted Ray to get some help.

Just as she was about to say something the phone in Kerry's office rang, causing both to jump. Lifting it up Ray watched as Kerry's face went from that of anger to shock. Placing the phone down Kerry came to stand in front of Ray and the look on her face began to worry him, what was wrong?

'Ray sweetie, I need for you to listen for a second O.K. And don't worry because it'll be fine'

Ray felt his heart beginning to pound in his chest, what was wrong that had made Kerry's demeanor change so quickly and why was she being overly nice?

'What's wrong?' Ray looked at Kerry with pleading eyes.

'Ray that was Luka on the phone. He said that your father was just brought into the ER' Kerry watched as all of the color drained from Rays face.

'What…why was he brought in?' Ray felt the bile begin to rise up his throat, but pushed the feeling down; he had to know why his father was here.

'He had a massive heart attack, and they need you to go down and sign papers because he might need surgery and you are listed as his next of kin' Kerry had been shocked at the news, after what his father had done to him, he still expected him to look after him if he ever needed help.

Ray slowly stood up and ran a hand through his hair before he said,

'I guess I should go then' Ray said it as more of a question, he wanted Kerry to tell him to stay because he truth he wanted his father to suffer like he had made him suffer, but he knew that she would tell him to go because in truth he had to.

Kerry nodded her head and watched as Ray walked to the door and closed it behind him. She was now more worried than she had been whenever he had come in, who knew what this was going to do to his head.

When Ray stepped out of the elevator to the ER he was surprised when he saw that Luka was standing there, obviously waiting on him.

'Listen Ray, you don't have to go in if you don't want to, I would understand' Luka looked down at the younger man before him, knowing that he shouldn't have to be making decisions like this for a man like that.

'No, its fine. Which room is he in?'

Luka put his hand on Rays back and began to led him to exam two, Ray wandered why his father wasn't in a trauma room, not that he really cared.

'He is waiting to go up to surgery, but only if he stays stable long enough and you consent to it…and you don't have to' Luka watched as Ray nodded at him and both men walked through the door.

Ray was shocked at what he saw. He father was lying on the bed covered in a mass of wires and tubes; he was also hooked up to a heart monitor and was on an oxygen mask.

Ray stopped where he was as images began to race through his head, not only of the previous weeks, but of all of the times when he was growing up and all of the awful things that his father had done not only to him, but to his mother as well.

Luka watched as the last nurse left and closed the door behind her, leaving only him, Ray and James Barnett in the room. Luka turned his head to look at Ray and noticed that he had went pale and grabbed his by the shoulders when he saw him push the palm of his hand to his head as if he was in pain, before he stumbled slightly.

'Whoa, are you O.K…maybe you should sit down'

Luka pushed Ray back to that he was sitting on the edge on one of the gurneys and keeping one hand on his shoulder he put his fingers to his neck and felt that his pulse was racing.

Ray let his hand drop from his head to his side and looked up at Luka, and he could see the worry that was etched all over the older mans face.

'What was all that about?' asked Luka who was staring into Rays eyes.

'I don't know…I just saw all of these, like flashbacks' Ray looked up at Luka, expecting to see him looking at him as if he was crazy, but instead Luka just said,

'Well that would explain why your pulse was racing.' Luka let go of Rays shoulder and instead put his arm around his bicep pulling him to his feet and began to pull him towards the door.

'I don't think that this was a good idea, maybe you should just wait in the family room'

Ray pushed Luka hand off of his arm, but not in a forceful way, and said,

'I can walk you know' Ray give Luka a small smirk, trying to cover up the fact that he hated the way Luka treated him since the other night. He was getting tired of the fact that Luka was treating him as if he was only a child and not a 27 year old man.

Luka was about to say something when Haleh opened the door to the exam room, and after looking at Ray with a surprised look on her face she said,

'Luka, the labs for the kid in exam three are back'

Luka quickly took the sheet of paper from the nurse and nodded at Ray, telling him that he would come and find him when he was done. When Luka had left, just before Ray went to follow him out he felt a hand on his arm and turned to look into the eyes of Haleh who said to him,

'It's nice to see you again sweetie, we were all worried about you', before she too left in the same direction as Luka.

When both parties had left, Ray turned his head and looked at his father once more before he headed out the door and in the direction of the family room. Luka had told him to go there, and he also knew that it was probably one of the quieter areas of the hospital for him to think, so Ray walked down the hall until he came to the heavy, large door.

Walking inside Ray walked over and sat on the sofa, putting his head in his hands as he felt more images rush into his mind.

Ray felt bile rising up his throat as the image of his mother lying against the steering wheel, covered in blood flashed in front of his eyes. And not being able to hold back the feeling of nausea any longer Ray leapt from his seated position on the couch and ran to the nearest bathroom.

Slamming the door to the stall shut Ray fell to his knees and began to be violently sick. After 10 minutes, when Ray was sure that his stomach was empty Ray flushed the toilet and locked the door to the stall. Still sitting on the ground, with his knees now pulled up to his chest, Ray covered his head with his arms and felt the sobs which he had been trying to fight all day wrack his body.

After about 10 minutes Ray got up and left the stall. After rinsing his mouth with water he made his way back to the family room, where he found Luka, and another Doctor who he didn't really recognize waiting there.

'Oh, there you are Ray. This is Peter Benton and his going to talk to you about the surgery' Luka kept his eyes on Ray and he watched his take a sit after shaking hands with Peter.

Peter Benton knew that he recognized the kid when he walked in, but he couldn't quite seem to place it, he was getting forgetful in his old age…not that he considered himself to be that old at 44.

Glancing down to the sheet in his hand, Peter looked at the name and then instantly knew who this kid was. It was the doctor who was brought in the other day. He couldn't help but feel sorry for Ray, all of this happening to him in just a few days. First he got mugged and now his father might die.

'Well Ray, I'm sure that you know that we always try to do what is in the interests of the patient and the patient's family' Ray nodded; he didn't know what to say.

'Well, looking at your father's injuries, and the fact that he has stayed stable over the past hour, I think that we may be able to go ahead with the surgery…if that's what you want'

Ray sat, and for the first time since he had been told that his father had been brought into the E.R, he really thought about what he was going to do. Should he consent for the surgery? Should he not? Ray didn't know what to do, and he didn't want to have to live with it for the rest of his life if he did something drastic just because it was the easy way out.

Starting in a somewhat shaky voice Ray said, 'If he does get the surgery, what are his chances, really' Ray looked Benton in the eyes with the, just tell me the truth, look, hoping that maybe the answer would make his decision for him.

'Well, to be honest, I think that it is a 40/60 chance that he will survive, but I really think that you should take some time and think it over.' Standing Peter looked at Luka before he turned his attention back to Ray and said, 'I'll be back in about 15 minutes, after that I don't think that he really has a chance, the percentage of recovery will be much lower'

When Peter had left Ray turned his head to look at Luka before he said,

'What do you think I should do?' Luka felt sorry for Ray, the look of anguish on his face and the fact that so much had happened over only a few weeks, but Luka knew that he couldn't tell Ray what to do; he had to let him do this on his own, but he could advise him in a professional way and let him make his decision from that.

'Ray, you know I can't tell you what to do. But in my professional opinion, I think that the surgery might be more risky'

Luka watched as Ray thought about it before he slowly nodded his head and said quietly, so quiet that Luka had to actually lean in to hear him,

'I guess that's a 'No' to surgery then' Ray breathed in a deep breath and give Luka a small smile, even though he hated his father, and he really did hate him and knew that he would never forgive him for what he had done to him and his mother, Ray couldn't help but feel glad at the fact that everything was finally going to be over.

Ray stood to get up but was stopped by Lukas hand on his arm,

'I'll go and tell him. You stay here and try and get some rest, you look beat'

Ray sat back down in the chair, and scrubbed at his face with his hands. Leaning his head back against the chair Ray felt his eyes begin to grow heavy, but shot them open when he heard the door to the room open again, and he was shocked when he saw that it was Kerry.

Kerry walked over and sat down beside Ray, and looked him straight in the eyes as she said,

'We never did get to finish our talk' she watched as Ray blew out a breath before he said,

'Well, it doesn't even matter now, because it'll all be over in a few hours and I wont have to worry'

Kerry knew that this wasn't true, but seeing how tired he was, she didn't want to argue with him. She walk talk to Neela after and try and get her to make Ray open up to her, maybe then he would turn back to the 'Dock Rock', that they all knew and loved.

EIGHT HOURS LATER

Ray was sitting in the chair beside the bed that his father had been occupying. Sighing he ran a hand threw his now messed up hair and looked up at the door as he saw Neela walk in, changed in to her own clothes now that her shift was over.

James Barnett had only died a few hours prior, but Ray knew that he couldn't go home yet. He had to at least pretend to the other members of staff that he was upset by the fact that his father had passed away. He had hated having to sit there and listen to everyone telling him how sorry they were, because he knew that he wasn't.

Neela walked over and put her hands on Ray shoulders and felt him relax against her, leaning his head against her chest and he blew out a breath he didn't know that he was holding and close his eyes.

'I think that maybe we should go home now Ray, you've been here long enough.'

Neela leaned down and kissed Ray on the top of the head before she reached down and took his hand in hers and he pulled himself to his feet, and she noticed how tired he looked.

Walking out of the hospital, Neela turned to Ray, asking him to wait a second as she ran around the corner. Pulling his coat tighter around him, feeling the biting Chicago wind, Ray wandered where Neela had went. As he saw her coming around the corner and that was when he noticed that she was alone, there was someone else with her.

As they got closer Ray couldn't believe who it was he saw, it was none other that his best friend Brett. They hadn't spoken since Ray had gotten back form L.A. The truth of why Ray and Brett hadn't talked was because Brett was the only one who had knew some of Rays past, of how his father used to beat him and his mother. I mean how couldn't he; they had known each other since they were eight years old.

Ray hadn't wanted to talk about the fact of why his father showing up had affected him so much, and Brett hadn't wanted to push anything because he knew that it was a touchy subject so he had just left Ray alone to clear his head.

But when Brett had gotten the news of what Rays dad had did to him, stabbing him and leaving him to bleed to death, he had phoned Neela, but by then she had known Rays secret and didn't know if Brett did so she had told him that she would let him know when Ray was better so that they could talk. When Brett had gotten the call that afternoon he had been so happy, he cared for Ray as if he was his brother, and so that was why he was standing in the ambulance bay now.

'Hey man, long time no see' Brett waltzed over to Ray and pulled him into a quick hug, patting him on the back before he pulled away and saw the shocked look on Rays face.

'Yeah you could say that' Ray and Brett both looked at each other, knowing that they still had to talk about what had happened, but now all that either of them could think about was going back to the apartment and getting completely trashed, just like old times.

Neela walked over and kissed Ray on the cheek before she whispered in his ear,

'I told you I knew you inside out'

Ray turned and gave Neela a soft smile, but then quickly turned to look at Brett when he felt him hit him, not so light, on the arm,

'So you two finally got your act together, huh?'

Neela and Ray both rolled their eyes; this was going to be a long night.

THE END

Well there you go, the last chapter! I know that you may all think that this ended abruptly, but don't worry because I am working on a sequel and it is called, 'Bend and Not Break'. It is basically the aftermath and about how Ray isn't really as fine about everything as he lets on.

A/N I want to thank you all again who read my story and I hope that you liked the little twist! I just hoped that you all liked it, because I liked writing it!