Words of Hindrance

Archive – Take it; it’s yours (just tell me where it will end up).

Category – Angst, Romance

Rating – PG

Warnings – Alternative Universe

Summary – Ennis rejected Jack once more, before he finally gave up to the other side of his mind.

Feedback – Greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer – Any money-wise profitable aspects in regard to this movie certainly are not affiliated with me.

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Junior was surprised at her father’s eagerness when he hopped out of his pick-up. She stared at her father’s back, and so did her sister Jenny.

“You know that guy, Jenny?” she asked, referring to the stranger in the approaching truck.

“No,” Jenny shook her head blankly, facial expression as confused as Junior’s was.

They watched their father and the stranger stride towards and embrace each other, something in their stomachs stirring uncomfortably. They were not completely fine with the fact that their father was suddenly showing so much affection in people other than themselves, since as far as their memory went, the only ever objects for which his father exhibited gestures of kindness were his daughters…then something struck Junior in the back of her mind…

The way the embrace went…was abnormal. It was not the usual way men embrace each other, not in those days. When they parted and mumbled something under their breath, the stranger still had his hand on her father’s neck. Then their father shoved the lingering hand off his skin abruptly. When her father turned around, and Junior could finally see his expressions: his face was falling – no doubt in that.

He motioned the stranger to them and began the routine introduction. “These are my daughters, Alma Junior and Jenny. Girls this is Jack Twist,” he spoke in such a miserable manner as if he was finally reminded of something terrible.

“Hi,” they responded mechanically, Junior not missing to put the inquisitive tone in her voice. She noticed how peculiarly the stranger was smiling.

“Howdy girls,” the man replied automatically before he quickly refocused his attention on their father.

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His heart was about to explode. Jack had tried hard to put down that idiotic grin, but the joy in his heart was too much to restrain. Ennis finally sees it. He had thought, but when the other man awkwardly jerked away from his touch his cheerfulness began to wane.

“Got your post card about the divorce,” he said, somewhat less hopeful and more awkward than he had been. Tell me what I thought is true, Ennis.

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In that instant Ennis del Mar’s nerves immediately tensed. The flood of fear and guilt and the terrible childhood memory drowned him, eating his mind, dominating his soul and his body.

Hell no. ‘course it’s wrong. ‘course not. Why the hell do you ask?

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Junior and her sister didn’t see its coming. Their father had remained silent, a pathetic half-smile desperately trying to cover his shock and horror. He tore his eyes temporally from the stranger’s, looking at her and Jenny. The stranger muttered some inaudible fragments of sentences, then something like tears welled up in his eyes.

“Why on earth is he cryin’?” Jenny asked her sister, astonished.

---

Jack did not know what to do. He wasn’t prepared for the pain pouring down on him, and nor was he prepared for the sense of emptiness and despair. His feet were rooted on the ground, then Ennis pushed him towards the reality when he said, “Jack, I sure as hell am sorry.”

Then that was not at all possible.

Jack shuddered, turned around and suddenly began to run. He hoped he could either faint or die, but he did not. He must get away, must escape from Ennis and the entire setting, one way or another, before he realized what he really want to escape from: himself.

---

Junior stared at her father, who now seemed oddly desolate as if half of him was racing away and the remaining half was falling apart. He hid his fists in his jacket pockets, his teeth clenching, and his eyes on the ground. What a weird way to say goodbye to a friend, whoever that might be. He did not move his stand when he heard his friend’s pickup growling, leaving his territory, backing to the road, and running down the bleak landscape unnaturally fast. Then without warnings and out of character, he yelled into the field, “Jack!”

---

As Ennis watched Jack stumble across the field his heart ache. God knows how many times he prayed to stop feeling this way. He wanted to be at either extreme, either absolutely not wanting Jack or absolutely having him, not like this, in the middle of nowhere.

He felt the pain Jack was under, and the humiliation and the shatter of dreams. His heart crumbled into millions of small pieces when he saw Jack wanting to stay away from Ennis, wanting to vanish from this world.

His breaths were rapid and sharp; the more he listened to the engine, the more he wanted to die. His heart was being torn by what he could not explain, his thoughts incoherent, then in his blurred awareness of his surroundings and himself his feet led him to his other half blindly.

---

Junior winced when she saw what Jenny saw…

---

Jack was alarmed when he heard his name being cried in such a way. He pushed the break, and the next thing he knew he was dragged out of the seat and pinned to the side of the vehicle before Ennis kissed him.

It was wet. Then Jack noticed his own tears running down his cheeks freely. He had already been on the edge of crying, and without Ennis holding him on his weakening knees he collapsed to the ground. Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack tightly, not able to withstand the emotions rising in him either.

I knew you wrong, Jack thought, glad that he did not only take Ennis’ vocal words into their communication before giving himself to the kiss.

---

Junior suddenly realized that she didn’t know her father after all.

“It is him,” Jenny said, and Junior nodded; they were no longer jealous. All suspicion had faded away, and their father was finally the man they saw inside, to their wonder and happiness.

---

“Jack …” he struggled. Forehead on forehead and his hands on Jack’s shoulder while Jack’s hands on his neck, his tears flowing through his inexpressive eyes, “don’t you never…never…”

Jack smiled, and Ennis had not seen him smiling more beautifully and brightly, even though his face was completely covered in tears. He shook his head, grinning,

“Never,” he said, as if answering the “leave me” that Ennis wasn’t able to work out, “but you woulda been scared to death by them words if I said anythin’…”

Ennis was quiet for a moment; then when he spoke, he spoke with solemn determination, “if hell we have to go, to hell we go.”

At that, Jack held onto Ennis and closed his eyes. They stayed like this for a long time.