Part Six: The Morning
by Underlined Twice

"Go 'way…"

"Tap tap tap"

"…Sev?"

"Mmph."

"Tap tap tap"

"What's that noise?"

"Mrphle…"

"Fine. I'll go see."

"Grnmp."

"Hmph… too bloody early… damn noises… honestly, some people…"

"Tap tap tap"

"I'm coming! …Oh my! Severus, wake up. We've accidentally slept in. Breakfast is already here. Wake up."

"Bngrfh."

"Severus! Fine. I'm eating your pastries."

"Mmrgh."

"Tap tap tap."

"Oh! I completely forgot. Here I come. Thanks for waiting, Thucydides. Severus! Post's here!"

"Fngrfhn."

"Severus, wake up. …Are you awake now? Oh, don't look at me like that. You have no reason to be so depressed. Maybe this year you'll get through final exams without developing that interesting eye twitch."

"Erghn."

"Take your face out of the pillow and come get your mail."

"…Fine. I'm awake, you bloody nag."

"Good morning to you, too, dear. It seems you have a letter from… oh, what's his name? The fellow from the Hungarian Potions conference."

"The one who thought you were my granddaughter?"

"That's the one! Can't say I liked him much…"

"You should have let me hex him."

"Your breakfast and his letter are over there, and I didn't let you hex him because I knew you wouldn't have wanted to make a scene. But really, wasn't it enough to publicly prove every one of his theories wrong?"

"That was rather amusing, wasn't it?"

"One of your shining moments, darling. What does he have to say?"

"…Hm. He's informing me of a spontaneous career change. Apparently, due to my comments at the conference, he decided that Potions is not his forte — his words, not mine —"

"I was just about to say."

"Yes, well. He's decided to abandon Potions as an occupation and pursue his dream of being a professional stoat breeder."

"…Are you serious?"

"Deadly so. Have a look. …See? Not even I have that kind of imagination. Now stop your infernal cackling and leave me to my breakfast."

"Gladly. Although, I will follow up on my threat to steal a pastry… Mm, raspberry. Your favourite."

"How did I manage to get shackled to a thieving harpy such as you?"

"By stumbling over professions of love, then saying 'Oh sod it' and shoving a ring in my face."

"…I'd almost managed to forget that embarrassing evening. Thank you so much for reminding me."

"At least you had good taste in jewellery. I'm sure the entire thing would've been unbearable had the ring been hideous."

"I'm trying to eat, woman! Please refrain from attempting to upset my stomach, preferably until after exams."

"Oh, look. There's that eye twitch."

"Hermione."

"What? I'm merely taking advantage of one of the few times you're not at your snarky best. Oh, right. Like I'm intimidated by your glaring at this point. Well, think about it, Severus. I adore poking fun at you and I can only do it when you're not thinking as clearly as usual, which is either when you first wake up or right after sex. Which one do you prefer?"

"Mmph."

"Don't speak with your mouth full, Severus. Honestly, at times you can be as bad as —"

"Don't you dare compare me to those heathens you call friends."

"All right. If you insist. Although, while we're speaking of them… I do wish you'd at least try on the jumper Molly made you."

"I may tolerate the woman, but I will not subject myself to that aesthetic disaster of a sweater."

"I still say that stitch was meant to be there."

"I may not be well-versed in the realm of knitting, Madam Snape, but any house elf could see that the jumper would serve better as a dishrag than an article of clothing. Now, I would like to finish my meal in peace while you run about frantically, trying to get ready for your class that starts in five — no, four minutes."

"Bloody hell!"

"I suppose it would be too much to ask for you to have learned your lesson about stealing my pastries?"

"Argh!"

"Just as I thought."