Dear Jack,

I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request... Means "no." I don't need anymore BIG FEATHERY HATS… Me new wife is loaded with money and she bought me every hat that's been made in Port Royal. But I will acquiesce your requests to shoot you while you're usin' the bathroom, poison your food, whack you over the head with a beer bottle, AND do all of the above. I'll be goin' over to your house this evenin' and if you hear the door bell ring at 6:30… It's me!

Sincerely,

Cap'n Barbossa