A/N: Hello, and welcome to Chapter 5 of my new, rising-in-hits fic “Getbacker Uchiha”! Thank you guys sooo much for the 150+ reviews for just FOUR chapters! Sorry it took so long to finally update after promising to after my return from my trip last month, but if you had read my profile earlier, then you would have known that my computer had crashed and had deleted all of our files. Luckily, I didn’t work on this chapter at all before then, so I really lost nothing. My trip was great, and I wish I could have stayed longer, but I was getting homesick (I’ll write about it sometime). My birthday passed, and I am finally 14 and still not feelin’ it, lol. Okies, ‘nuff of that. So please enjoy this next chapter of “Getbacker Uchiha”!

Warning(s): Crazy date…and only about four people guessed correctly about Sakura’s arch-nemesis. That’s okay—I didn’t even really give a clue at all. NejiSaku-ness…Sasuke suffering, muahahaha…as always, possible OOCness…may not be so funny since I’m trying to get the writing feeling again. Lotsa Inner Sasuke conversations…some more gay cracks (AND I STILL HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GAY PEOPLE)

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, Sasuke would long be dead by now, and Sakura would either be with Neji, Gaara, Itachi, or Sai. But since Sasuke is alive and kicking Sakura, Naruto, and Sai’s butts, and Neji hasn’t even spoken to Sakura, that means I don’t own Naruto, huh?

Key:
Blah blah blah – thoughts
“blah blah blah” – inner self talking
‘blah blah blah’ – responding to inner self

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Chapter 5: Redeemed?

24 hours after determining the method of redeeming Uchiha Sasuke’s heterosexuality brings us to the Ichiraku Noodle Shop, our protagonist’s best friend’s favorite restaurant. Seated at a round table were Neji and Sakura, Hinata, and Shikamaru and Ino. Oh yes, the date was a four-couple one indeed. It just seemed that one couple and one member were missing…

“Oy, where are Naruto and Sasuke?” Sakura asked as she made herself comfortable against Neji’s arm, which was casually draped along the head of her chair.

“Naruto-kun is helping Sasuke-san find a date…” Hinata told her quietly from beside her cousin.

Ino snorted from her seat next to the empty one beside Hinata’s. “Knowing Naruto, he probably picked out some random bitch for Sasuke.”

“I-Ino-chan…!”

“Don’t take Naruto so lightly, Ino,” Sakura scolded from across the table. “Even he doesn’t have such crappy judgment.”

“Hi, everybody! We’re here!” a familiar, obnoxiously cheerful voice greeted.

Speak of the devil, as they say.

“Naruto-kun!” the cobalt-haired Hyuuga greeted back happily.

“Hey, Naruto, who’d you pick for Sasu…ke…” Sakura’s jade eyes widened as did Ino’s azure ones as they took in the young girl with uneven purple tresses standing next to Sasuke, her arms wrapped almost too happily around Sasuke’s left one. One couldn’t deny that Sasuke was not NEARLY as happy to be with her…nope, Uchiha was definitely not a happy camper at the moment. And neither was inner Sasuke…

“I hate this chick,” Inner Sasuke said straight out, throwing darts at a mental picture of the purple-haired girl randomly plastered onto some mental wall. A dart hit her directly in the forehead at which he screamed a "bull's eye!" at. “She’s ugly, stupid, bitchy, and wa-a-a-ay too fangirly for me. Dude, look at her hair! I mean, who in hell and the next and the next would have their hair cut with some random junk still danglin’? Makes me start to appreciate the stupid spike you had jutting out from the back of your head for the last couple of years.”

‘Will you can it?’ Sasuke snapped back. ‘This is just to redeem my orientation, stupid. I could care less about my date, as long as it’s a freakin’ girl!’

“Dude, take a look at little Sakura and that Ino chick. They’re totally glaring freakin’ POISON daggers at the chick Naruto picked! And I don’t blame ‘em. I hate her, too.”

“Is that who I think it is, Sakura?” Ino whispered loudly across the table, still glaring at the new girl.

Sakura nodded slowly, also holding her glare against the girl. “Yeah…that’s Ami the bitch, all right.”

“Oh, it’s you two,” the new girl now known as Ami greeted, smirking at the two. “Billboard Brow and Ino-pig.”

The two girls felt mental stabs at the dubbed nicknames from their childhood.

Everyone else turned to the two, astonished that they knew the girl…and that said girl acknowledged them with their childhood nicknames.

Ino smirked as she leaned back in her seat casually—waaaaay too casually—and crossed her legs. “Nice to see you too…Ami the bud vase.”

Ami’s eyes glared dangerously at the smirking blonde. “Don’t talk to me like you’re above me, Ino…PIG!”

“Oh, but I just speak the truth, you STRAIGHT-BODIED BUD VASE!” Ino snapped back, a migraine tick mark beating live and well on her temple.

“Oooh, cat fight! Whoo hoo!” Inner Sasuke cheered, grabbing an imaginary bowl of popcorn. “I’m all for the big-mouthed blonde chick!”

‘…shut up.’

“Um…can we just get on with this?” Sakura finally intervened, although she, too, was just as pissed about the situation as her blonde best friend.

Ami turned her attention to the blush-haired kunoichi, who sat glaring at her from her seat beside Neji. “Well, well…Billboard Brow. Makes me wonder how Crybaby Sakura was able to charm the almighty Hyuuga Neji with her oversized forehead.”

“Oooh, I know that bitch did NOT just bring our forehead into this!” Inner Sakura screamed, cracking her knuckles as hell fire blazed behind her. “Let’s show that bitch what this ‘crybaby’ is made of!”

‘…..’

“Sakura? Work with me here! C’mon, let’s kick her ass right here and right now!” When she received no answer from her outer persona again, she finally said again, “Sakura? Helloooo? Are you functioning out there? Should I take over? Or what?”

“So you want to bring my forehead into this, huh?” the Godaime’s apprentice finally said in a dangerously quiet tone after a few good minutes of silence. Her shoulders shook as she began to chuckle evilly, her face still bowed down.

“Whoa, everyone, RUN!” Ino snapped, pulling her dozing boyfriend’s arm frantically.

Neji turned to his girlfriend, who continued to violently tremble with bloodlust. “Sakura…?” he finally said in a concerned tone as everyone else blanched, including the other customers of Ichiraku. He gently grasped her shoulders and leaned his face towards hers. “Sakura, calm down.” He brought a hand to her face, grasping her chin and tilting herhead up. “You’ve grown into your forehead, and that’s coming from someone honest.”

Oh yes, Neji definitely knew how his girlfriend’s mind worked, and he knew that she was still sensitive when it came to her forehead, and all it took was for Neji to tell her that she had grown into her forehead then–

All traces of anger immediately relinquished as a bright smile radiated on Sakura’s face. “Thank you, Neji-kun.”

–Sakura would succumb to her boyfriend’s words.

That’s how much Neji affected her.

“That makes me sick, man,” Inner Sasuke said, holding up a barf bag. A light bulb suddenly clicked in his head inflated with stupidity. “Ah! I got an idea!”

‘…what?’

“Jealousy is the BEST weapon against a girl! Just make it look like you’re all into this girl and–”

‘No.’

Anime tears instantly streamed down Inner Sasuke’s face. “You didn’t even let me finish.”

‘I don’t want to hear any more of your ridiculous ideas, so shut up and leave me alone.’

Inner Sasuke didn’t reply, to Sasuke’s relief. But then…

“You…you GIRLY-MAN! I HATE YOU TOO!” Inner Sasuke cried childishly before turning to his own little corner in the dark depths of Sasuke’s mind and crying himself to sleep. Well, at least Sasuke could get some peace now…

“Did you see what that bitch just did?” Ami pouted, tugging on Sasuke’s arm.

It was safe to say that Sasuke just wanted to use his Ami-contaminated arm to throw her somewhere over the rainbow. And being Sasuke, he wasn’t exactly the patient type when it came to girls…except for Sakura.

But since Sakura was right there and he didn’t want to make a bad impression of himself, he monotonously answered, “Huh?”

“Uh, should we go somewhere else?” Naruto poked his head inside the empty ramen shop somewhat nervously from the entrance. “I don’t think we’ll be able to do anything here without any shopkeepers, y’know…”

Oh yes, Sakura was just THAT scary when she was angry…

“Sorry,” Sakura apologized, laughing nervously. She stood up as did Neji before he took her hand and led her out of the deserted shop.

“HE’S HOLDING HER HAND!” Inner Sasuke screamed, pointing an accusing finger at the couple. “WHHHHHYYYYYYY?”

Inner Sasuke’s sudden appearance even surprised Sasuke, who quickly replaced his surprise with irritation. ‘I thought you were freakin’ asleep!’

“Uh…I have eyes in the back of my head?”

‘…don’t talk to me. Seriously, do NOT talk to me. Not now, not ever again.’

“Only Hyuugas have eyes in the back of their heads…” Inner Sasuke mumbled to himself as he threw darts at a mental photo of Neji, hitting both of his eyes. A grin broke out on his face as he cheered. “Bull’s eye! Actually, Hyuuga’s eye! Both of them!”

‘…are you listening to me?’

“I’m sorry, did you say something?”

Sasuke didn’t answer as he reluctantly dragged the too-happy-for-her-own-good Ami to his friends, dreading what was to happen next.

“Oh hey, Sasuke!” Sakura waved with her free hand, the other still intertwined with Neji’s. “We were just talking, and we’re gonna go head to the row boating lake. We’re also inviting Lee and Tenten, so now it’s a quintuple date!”

“There are such things as quintuple dates?” Inner Sasuke inquired.

Oh jeez…now the unfortunate Uchiha had to actually row a boat with this bitch, and he had to watch Sakura enjoy herself with Neji.

Uchiha Sasuke seriously led a very, VERY miserable life.

--

“Oh, Sasuke-kun! Isn’t this romantic?” Ami gushed, bringing her hands to her cheek as her eyes sparkled.

As for Sasuke, one couldn’t deny that he most definitely did NOT agree with his funky-haired companion. No, not date—COMPANION. He rowed in utmost disdain as he inwardly wished to just toss the girl off board and steal Sakura from Hyuuga and row out of there like crazy with her.

But noooo…he had to freakin’ redeem his heterosexuality. And so here he was, just rowing around miserably with a random idiotic girl.

“No, not really,” he bluntly responded.

She pouted at his…bluntness.

A few feet away from the miserable Uchiha was the boat of Neji and Sakura. The pink-haired kunoichi seemed to be enjoying the time she could spend with her beloved Neji, as she peered over the side of the boat to look at the water and smiled at the breeze that played with her cherry locks. Across from her, Neji rowed steadily and smiled at the contentment that his Sakura was experiencing.

“Wow, isn’t this nice, Neji-kun?” Sakura asked smilingly as she brought her hands up to keep her flying pink tresses out of her face. She didn’t pay much attention to her flowing white skirt since its length retained her modesty of her long legs, and her red, sleeveless v-neck top clung against her curves, which Neji, as a man, seemed to enjoy quite well.

“Yeah, it is…” One couldn’t be sure about the exact reference that the Hyuuga was making with that statement, but Sakura didn’t seem to notice.

Of course, Neji wasn’t the only one to take notice of Sakura’s appearance of the moment.

“Damn, she’s lookin’ fine like that! Lucky Hyuuga bastard,” Inner Sasuke whooped. “I mean, that chest and that ass and THAT outfit? Dude, just TAKE her!”

Sasuke was so shocked at his inner self’s comment that he almost dropped one of his oars. ‘What the hell is WRONG with you?’

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with ME? O-ho-ho, I think you forget what’s wrong with YOU! YOU’RE the gaywad!”

Knowing that this conversation would lead to another one of his pointless ones that he seemed to always share with his inner self, Sasuke kept his thoughts to himself as he continued to row like a robot. Gosh, this was justso BORING!

“Hey! Hey, Sasuke!” Naruto called from his boat with Hinata. He waved his oar, splashing himself, Hinata, and Shikamaru and Ino, at which the other blonde screamed obscenities that he didn’t bother to listen to.

Sasuke whipped his head around to see his idiotic best friend. “What?”

“Do you feel straight now?”

BAM.

Just a fraction of a second later did Naruto find himself wading in the water with Hinata squealing in surprise from her seat in their boat. The blonde spat water from his mouth as he glared up at Sasuke. “Hey! I was just asking! Do you think your straightness is redeemed yet?”

Oh yeah…that was why Sasuke was suffering for the last two hours or so. And it was all because of Naruto! Yeah, it was his fault that the Uchiha was accused of being gay in the first place! O-ho-ho-ho, he would pay dearly for that…

But since Sasuke seemed to have a soft spot for his best friend, he didn’t torture Naruto as he would have liked to. And no, I do not mean any nasty, gay torture, mind you. (A/N: I’LL JUST KEEP SAYING THAT I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GAYS n.n”)

“N-Naruto-kun? A-Are you all right?” Hinata squeaked as she reached a hand out to pull her boyfriend back in the boat. He gladly took it and was about to pull himself out, but his strength was so much greater than his girlfriend’s that he ended up pulling her into the water with him. And because the boat was empty now, its lightness caused it to bump into other boats without someone to control it.

“Naruto!” Ino screeched when her and Shikamaru’s boat collided with what used to be Naruto and Hinata’s. She whipped her blonde head around to scream at the other blonde even more when she noticed that no one was in the boat. “Naruto? Hinata?”

And because Shikamaru was so lazy, Ino was the one rowing the boat. And because she had stopped rowing to scream at Naruto, who wasn’t even in his own boat, her sudden stillness caused the moving Lee and Tenten to crash into her boat, which actually woke Shikamaru up.

The taijutsu and weapons masters turned around to see a conscious Shikamaru and spinning-eyed Ino sprawled in their own boat.

“Oh, Ino! Sorry about that!” Tenten apologized upon noticing how the end of her and Lee’s boat jut into the side of Ino and Shikamaru’s.

“Who did we hit, Tenten?” Lee asked as he let go of the oars to walk to the end of the boat and see his victims.

“Lee! Where are the oars?” Tenten screamed, upon noticing that her boyfriend was standing next to her, empty-handed.

The bug-eyed shinobi blinked before turning around to see the oars floating on the surface of the water on either side of their boat. “Uh…I’ll go get those.” He made his way towards the other end of the boat as Tenten began to climb over into Ino’s boat to help her up.

Today just didn’t seem to be a good day for anybody.

As Lee reached over to retrieve the fallen oars while Tenten made her way into Ino’s boat, just one leg over at the moment, Sasuke’s boat collided with Naruto’s empty one, which passed on the collision into the other two boats, causing Tenten to lose her balance and do the splits while Lee completely fell into the water.

“Oh shit…” Tenten cursed as she grasped the edge of Ino’s boat and used her left foot to bring her own boat back to her. She was sure she had probably dislocated her pelvis by now.

As for Sasuke and Ami? Well…

“Sasuke-kun! Help me!” she gasped at the surface of the water, splashing around.

“No.” Sasuke had never gotten over his coldness.

“Hey, you guys need help?” a voice called from a few feet away.

All the unfortunate boat riders turned to see Neji and Sakura rowing towards them. Sakura waved to them as she inspected the damage. “Wow, what did you guys do over here?”

“Sakura-san!” Lee called from the water, waving.

“Ah, Neji-kun, slow down,” Sakura instructed as she stood from her boat’s end to help Lee into her boat. She grasped his arm and pulled him into the boat without breaking a sweat. She was just that strong.

“Where’s Tenten-san?” Lee asked as he sat down, squeezing the water from his trademark green spandex.

“H-Help…” the familiar voice of the weapons expert squeaked from afar.

Sakura and Lee turned to see Tenten still stuck in her splits pose, her eye twitching in pain. She continued to hold onto the edge of Ino’s boat, and it seemed that she couldn’t bring hers to herself.

“TENTEN-SAN!” Lee screamed at the sight of his girlfriend’s pose.

“Stop screaming and HELP me!” Tenten screamed back at him, waving her arms at him in panic.

“O-Okay, Tenten-san!”

“Tenten, I’ll take a look at that…somehow,” Sakura assured her Chinese friend as Neji rowed towards Tenten, Ino, and Shikamaru. She turned to Lee. “Go grab her and bring her here, Lee-san.”

The youth-preaching shinobi saluted her. “Of course, Sakura-san!” he declared as he carefully stepped to the edge of Sakura and Neji’s boat, reaching his arms out to grab his girlfriend. “Whoa…”

“Ow…” Tenten whimpered as she fell into Lee’s arms, forcing her legs closed. She drew her breath in sharply at the sound of cracking. “O-Ow…”

“Sit her right here, Lee-san,” Sakura commanded, and Lee didn’t hesitate to comply. He laid her in the hollow part between Neji and Sakura’s seats.

Neji peered at his former teammate in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I think I dislocated my pelvis,” she replied painfully.

Sakura turned to see who else needed saving. “Ino-chan, Shikamaru-san…are you guys all right?”

“I think so,” Ino replied, finally getting a hold of herself. She inspected the damage that Tenten and Lee’s boat had inflicted on her and Shikamaru’s…and finally noticed the large opening that had been caused by the older shinobis’ boat. “Oh crap…I don’t think so.”

Shikamaru lazily stood up casually at his end of the boat. “Help,” he drawled out in a mechanical voice, raising one arm up.

“We’re gonna sink!” Ino screeched. She jumped up in her boat, waving frantically for Sakura. “Sakuraaaaaa! HEEEELLLLLPPPP!”

“Ah, hold on, hold on,” the pink-haired kunoichi said as Neji rowed towards them. She extended her arm out for Ino to grasp, which she did very tightly, cutting of Sakura’s blood circulation. Sakura pulled her in carefully as Shikamaru lazily stepped in afterwards right before his and Ino’s boat sank.

“Okay, how many people can fit in one boat?” Sakura asked Neji.

“With this boat, it should only fit four if everyone were to stand, but with us, maybe about…” Neji mentally calculated his head before saying, “…seven.”

“Hinata is still out there,” Ino said as she sat down by Tenten’s head, which was stationed by the seat while her body lay sprawled on the boat floor.

“Naruto, too,” Shikamaru added.

Sakura sighed as she looked around. “Hinata-chan? Naruto?”

“Sakura-chan!” a high-pitched voice called, coming closer.

“Ah, where’s Naruto?” Sakura asked as she pulled her cobalt-haired friend into her boat.

Hinata squeezed water out of her long cobalt tresses as she answered, “I-I don’t know! He was by me one minute, and then he disappeared!”

“Good Lord…” the medic-nin muttered as she looked around. “Naruto? Naruto?”

Meanwhile, Sasuke was about to row back to shore since he had not bothered to save Ami when he heard Sakura’s voice calling. He turned around to see his pink-haired former teammate looking around frantically, calling for his best friend’s name.

It was at that moment he realized Naruto was the only one not in Sakura’s boat.

He rowed towards them, taking note that there was only one empty boat floating while one was starting to sink. “Where’s Naruto?”

Sakura turned to him. “Have you seen him? Did he get to shore?”

Sasuke’s eyes widened as realization dawned on him. Was it possible that Naruto had actually drowned? But even Naruto wasn’t stupid enough to drown.

Without another moment of hesitation, Sasuke dove into the water, determined to save his best friend. He swam underwater, looking for the familiar mob of blonde spikes. Dammit, Naruto, where the hell are you?

“Hey, look at those pretty gold spike thingies over there!” Inner Sasuke chirped.

The raven-haired shinobi followed his inner self’s direction to see a familiar idiot K.O.’d with spinning-eyes on the lake floor. Naruto…! He quickly swam over to his friend and grabbed him as he focused his chakra to his feet. He can’t die here…!

Meanwhile from up above, everyone continued to wait for Sasuke.

“Naruto-kun…” Hinata murmured worriedly.

“I hope Sasuke and Naruto are all right…” Sakura said more to herself than to her friend.

“They will be,” Neji assured her. “They’re Naruto and Uchiha.”

A smile lit on her face. “Yeah, you’re right.”

As Neji began to smile back, something shot out of the water, splashing everyone on the boat and causing Sakura to fall back on the Hyuuga.

“Sasuke can fly?” Lee said, amazed.

“Chakra…” Sakura squeaked as she saw Sasuke start running on the water towards the shore. “Sasuke! Naruto!”

Sasuke didn’t seem to hear her as he reached land, throwing his blonde friend flat on the ground before covering Naruto’s mouth with his own, his hand holding Naruto’s nose as he prepared to perform CPR. But before he could start the artificial respiration, Naruto coughed up water into Sasuke’s mouth, his eyes bolting open and his arms grabbing the first thing he could find, which happened to be Sasuke.

The two were frozen for like that for a couple of minutes—Naruto latched onto Sasuke.

Bystanders stared open-mouthed at the two displaying such “intimate” contact in public. And soon enough whispers began to rise again.

“S-Sasuke?” Naruto gasped, taking a look at his savior’s face.

Sasuke’s face was bright red. And before Naruto could utter another word, Sasuke stood up and tossed the blonde to the ground before high-tailing it out of there.

So much for redeeming his heterosexuality.

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Next time in “Getbacker Uchiha”: Happy Birthday, Sasuke!

Quite some time has passed since Sasuke’s humiliating boat ride, which seems to have fueled the rumors of his being homosexual. But now it’s his 18th birthday! And all he wants is Sakura. Yet, amazingly, Neji has been assigned a mission away from home for a month! Now is his chance to win Sakura back! But how faithful can Sakura be to Neji when Sasuke keeps putting the moves on her?

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A/N: I'll explain why Naruto almost drowned in the next chapter, just so y'all know. Wow, I got this done before my KibaSaku birthday one-shot, lol. Okay, I should have learned my lesson by now, but I think this fic will be about 10 to 15 chapters long. I mean, I seem to be rushing things, but seriously, I can’t think of everything that can happen within one year. It’s just so unrealistic to chase someone for a year (except for Team Rocket in Pokèmon…BTW, I’m not a fan of that anime). I’ve already figured out the outcome pairing of this fic, and I’m sad to say that probably more than half my readers will hate my decision. Truth is, I was FORCED to make it this pairing, but I shall not spoil it. Anyhoo, I still need to write my KibaSaku birthday one-shot and then my SasuSaku one for “The Naruto July Birthday Bash Trilogy.” Please read it if you like NejiSaku, KibaSaku, AND SasuSaku n.n I don’t really like KibaSaku, but the other two are Saku x, so heck, KibaSaku. Anyways, please review! Sorry for the long wait!