A Most Peculiar Set of Circumstances

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 belonged to Rumiko Takahashi, Sailor Moon to someone else, but as for whose hands the licenses and assorted rights have ended up in, I have no idea... I just know it's not me. And the story is non profit too.

By Steamed Bun

Chapter 7

---

I look across the table at the surprisingly cheerful man in front of me as he drinks his alcohol directly from the bottle. I would recommend that he drink something else instead, but he tells me it's for medicinal purposes.

…

Not that I believe that, but given his recent circumstances…

"You seem remarkably bright this morning. I'm guessing dying wasn't that bad?" I ask him.

He looks incredulously at me for a while before speaking.

"Imagine a freezing hand, gripping your beating heart and slowly pulling it out…"

He pauses and continues. "Actually... it's more like a dozen people are playing soccer with that pulsing heart…and they're all wearing 5 inch cleats."

I grimace, not wanting to pursue that particular image any further.

"Yeah…dying was not a good experience." He shakes his head.

"On the other hand, waking up was not bad at all."

"Really?" I ask, curious about the mysterious process by which he had been resurrected.

"First, there was this bright light, and an incredible feeling of warmth. Then, suddenly, I could feel everything again, from my toes to my fingers. And when I opened my eyes…"

He pauses to take another swallow, and I gesture him to continue.

"I was surrounded by young girls straight out of a manga. For a moment there I thought I actually made it to heaven." He chuckled. "Not to mention that they were standing right above me…"

"Genma." I interrupt.

"The view was definitely..."

"The black haired one's Rei."

He pauses.

"And the other girls around her would be her underage friends." I continue blandly.

He looks around awkwardly for a few seconds before his eyes suddenly widen with not a small amount of fear.

"What about your…"

"Rei's currently using the fire right now. It's burning quite well."

"What a relief." He sighs. "Still, that's sorta disappointing. I gotta say, the one with the two blond girls and…"

"The black haired one's Rei." I repeat, this time in a far frostier tone.

Deep down, I have to admit, that one was my favorite too...

I'd rather not consider the implications of that.

Shaking my head, I get up.

"Come on, let's go eat. In celebration of your recent revival, it'll be my treat."

He grins and follows me out.

---

Something feels off about Genma.

He looks perfectly calm and cheerful as he sits across the table. Well, as calm as a person with half a cow in their mouth can look.

I expected many reactions from Genma once he awakened, but this was not one of them.

Perhaps it's just a mask that covers up a seething mass of guilt and self loathing…?

Nah…This isn't some cheap angsty teen drama.

Chances are that he's just doing his best not to think about it. Doing an excellent job at that too. He'd probably appreciate it more if I just let it be…

Ah well. Irritating people for their own good is part of the life of a priest.

"Genma."

"Yeah?" He pauses before his next gulp, his heavily weighted utensils before his mouth.

"Why didn't you dodge?"

He stiffens at the question, and slowly puts his food down.

After a few moments, he wanly grins at me, saying "I don't suppose we could skip this conversation if I promise to do my best to survive?"

I give him my best unreadable priestly look.

Looking down at the table, he starts. "Life…"

He stops.

After a few seconds of silence, I ask him, "Don't you remember telling your son that life was one of, no, the most important things? How could you even consider giving up?"

"I do remember…but…that time, more than ever, it felt like I had no purpose in continuing."

"I guess when I think about it, it still does." He murmurs quietly.

---

I sit glumly in silence as Hino considers his response.

I suppose that feeling this way is remarkably self centered of me.

After all, I had only briefly considered suicide when I had believed Ranma had died. But after he had rejected me?

My reaction to finding out he had survived was far worse.

Should I not have been happier that he was alive, with his whole life in front of him?

I told Hino that I believed that it was better this way, and perhaps I even think it.

But thinking it versus feeling it…

Perhaps…I might have loved the role I played in my son's life more than I loved my son.

What a sobering thought.

If that is true, there really is little hope for me…

Hino's voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Do you really think your life is irredeemable?"

I nod, slowly.

"Why?"

Why? There are so many reasons. My mistakes, both those minor sins and those incalculably large errors. My loss, of family and home. And now, now, I have lost what little chance I have to correct them.

But perhaps most haunting is the thought even my motivation to pay for them has always been and will always be caring more for myself than any other.

"I believe...that perhaps I did not love my son as much as the life I had with him. If that is true, then what chance do I have of changing myself? If my reason is as flawed as what needs to be changed?" I murmur.

He pauses, considering his next words.

"Huh. That does sound pretty twisted."

He shakes his head.

"Well, I'm not good enough at my job to handle that, so here's some general advice. Everyone has faults. Some, more than others. Yours would just happen to be selfishness and inconsideration."

That seems like an inordinately soft way to put it.

"But you know, motivations aside, what matters most is what we try to do despite our faults. And I'm sure as you have just found out, being dead limits your course of action." He continues wryly.

I've never been able to compensate for my flaws. Not before, not now. And in the future?

I can only imagine what new errors I will leave uncorrected.

"Hino, I cannot believe that I will ever be able to atone for the failures I have made in the past, let alone the future."

He shrugs. "Perhaps. Few people will. But, I guess, more so than actually being able to attain it, it is the actual pursuing of redemption that really matters."

And with that, he turns his attention back to his food.

Is he already done talking? I do not feel any better about myself. None of my problems have been solved. I still wallow in self pity and remorse.

But perhaps…

Just perhaps…

Maybe he is right.

Chances are, when I wake up tomorrow, I will screw up. I'll end up being responsible for a dozen crises that can never be corrected.

People cannot change all that quickly. I am no exception.

But if I try to pursue…Maybe…

"Hino."

"Huh?"

"Do you really believe…"

"Of course." He reassures me.

"Thanks."

He nods. "Part of the job description. As a priest, and as a friend."

As I resume eating, he begins to speak.

"Tomorrow, we'll wake up early in the morning, and train in the art. You'll do some chores; sweep the steps, mop the floors, and fix some things. We'll have tea with just a hint of alcohol outside, and watch the changing seasons. And if it's not a weekday, we'll go plead with your son. Not this one, probably not even in a year, but someday, your son will have you back."

I nod gratefully.

"Have hope. Tomorrow will be a brighter day." He affirms, grinning at me.

I manage a smile back, and raise my glass.

"To the pursuit of redemption?"

"To the pursuit of redemption."

We drink.

…

You know, despite everything that is hopeless, despite everything that cannot be done...It is good to be alive.

---

AN: Right, sorry this took so long…But it was really, really hard. I probably wrote around six thousand words just to get this bit. And I'm still not satisfied with it…I dunno if it matches the standard of previous chapters of indefinable likability. Tell me if it does or doesn't? Please? Oh yeah, since several people mentioned it, I enabled anonymous reviews.

Anyways, I'm once again really sorry about the delay.

And as for whether this story is complete...it's done. Yep. Finished.

Some folks might be thinking...

"What was the point of that entire story? Genma's still split with his son, he's still hasn't corrected his screw ups, everything feels unresolved!"

...As to that...Well, I sort of wanted to acheive not quite a happy ending, but a hopeful one. If he did make up with his son, that'd be a happy ending. If he did manage to completely change himself, that'd be a happy ending. But the endings that have left the most impressions on me were the slightly disappointing yet at the same time optimistic ones.

I hope I achieved the same thing.

Thank you for reading.