When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful.
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart.
And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears.
And when she was happy, so was I.

When she loved me.

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all.
Just she and I together, like it was meant to be.
And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her.
And I knew that she loved me.

Sarah McLachlan, "When She Loved Me"

Marcus' Story

"Would you like to be married, Marcus?"

I blink, confused. What an odd question. "Why do you ask such a thing?"

She laughs. It rings like the angelic tinkling of cathedral bells, lovely as the psalms. "Because I think I would like a wedding ceremony, with orange blossoms and a beautiful blue dress. Just like a human bride. They do look heavenly, you know." She strokes my chest lightly and breathes into my ear, "Wouldn't you like to see me as a bride?"

I tuck a strand of raven-colored hair behind her ear. She knows I can deny her nothing. "No parchment or ceremony can tell the world how much I love you, Cressa. But if you wish to be married, so it shall be."

xxxXxxx

I folded my hands on the table and waited for Aro to speak. Not that he had even called the meeting, but Aro always has something to say. But whether there are ideas to be communicated underneath the inane chatter is another matter. Just as I thought, Aro spoke first.

"Heidi will be hunting tomorrow during the St. Marcus Day festival." He smiled saccharinely at Heidi, whose eyes sparkled with anticipation.

Jane chuckled. "Bring back some little ones this time, Heidi. I don't like having to knock my food down to feed while you guys can just go for the neck because it's within reach."

Aro stroked Jane's hair and she beamed. "The festival means tourists. We'll be feeding in the west antechamber."

Heidi rose. "Thank you, Aro. I called a meeting to inform you that Felix and I will be leaving for New York City for a week on Wednesday. We'll be gone about a week."

My mind wandered. This whole system was so stupid. I waved my hand absently to show my consent, though the action was practically meaningless. I didn't care a whit about what Heidi and her French bonbon did.

Aro and Heidi enthusiastically discussed the vampire population in and around New York City, and I wondered vaguely if they had recently fed on LSD addicts. At one point, Caius met my gaze and rolled his eyes. Jane jumped in on the conversation with her own recommendations of pleasant places to visit during the daytime. I silently willed the entire castle to collapse on us. I hadn't tried being crushed to death yet; maybe it would be the thing that finally killed me.

"—I've heard of places by the docks where prostitutes trawl. The pickings are supposed to be good."

…Prostitutes. Surely she jests.

The swish of a cloak alerted us to a new presence. Alec stood in the doorway to our chamber. He had a slightly surprised look on his face, as though he couldn't believe what he was about to say. "Masters, there's someone here to see you." He looked at Aro, Caius, and me specifically. "Edward Cullen, the…son of Carlisle Cullen."

xxxXxxx

"Isn't this just wonderful, Marcus?" We are sitting on the alabaster railing of her balcony, the city bonfires glowing below us and the stars in the heavens twinkling above us. But I'm not looking at any of that. A far more dazzling sight is two inches from my face.

I smile. "Yes, you are." She is the most beautiful thing in the world; surely she must be speaking of herself—what could be more wonderful than her?

Cressa takes my face in her hands and kisses me deeply, and even though the flow of blood in my veins has been absent for two thousand years, I am warm.

"Actually, I was talking about the stars, but thank you anyway." She runs her perfect fingers through my hair. Below us, humans are playing flutes and harps in celebration of St. Marcus Day. Apparently, I drove the vampire hordes from the city a few centuries back. Or something like that.

Cressa listens to the tune and turns to me. "I know a dance," she whispers in my ear. She wraps her arm around my waist and places her hand on my thigh.

I look into her deep ruby eyes. "I'll dance with you."

xxxXxxx

Aro's face lit up. "A member of the mysterious Cullen family has finally arrived? Marvelous!"

Whatever.

We walked to the main chamber, not sure what to expect. A young man of no more than twenty human years was standing in the middle of the room, his eyes shut, fingertips pressed tightly into his temple. He looked as though he were under a great amount of stress, to say the least.

Aro approached cautiously and kept a few feet between them, for even though this Edward claimed to be Carlisle's "son", we knew nothing about him. Edward opened his eyes, but his pitch black irises revealed nothing about his feeding habits, except that he hadn't fed in a while.

"Alec tells us that you are Carlisle's son," Aro said. Edward nodded.

"I am. Carlisle changed me in 1918."

Carlisle had changed him. Carlisle, who professed an eternal abstinence from human blood, had chosen this man-child from the vast millions in the world to be his companion in a mind-blowingly difficult quest to deny what instinct cried out for. Carlisle seemed to think he could do it. I felt a tug of respect for both Carlisle and this Edward.

Caius decided to get straight to the point. Leave it to him to throw subtlety and caution out the window. "Why are you here, Edward Cullen? Does Carlisle require aid?"

I suddenly remembered how much Caius had enjoyed Carlisle's brief stay with us; I don't like to talk, and Aro likes to talk too much, so Carlisle must have been a welcome change.

Edward's face twisted in some sort of anguish. "No." He took a deep breath. "I've come to ask a favor."

Aro nodded happily. "Just name it, Edward. It'll be from us to Carlisle. Ah, how I miss him." Aro clasped his hands happily. "He was always willing to learn about our kind and share theories. I'm sure you are familiar with the scientific side of him, Edward. Carlisle always had such a keen mind." He chuckled heartily.

Was Aro completely blind? Could he not see the torture on Edward's face? Somehow, I knew what Edward was going to say before he said it. I could see…no, sense is the better word, a brokenness around Edward. The edges were sharp as thorns and made my skin prickle.

"I've…the woman I love…my…mate, is dead." He choked out the last word. "Please, kill me. Please. I have no reason to live anymore."

xxxXxxx

"Why would anyone challenge the Volturi?" Cressa wonders aloud. "It's suicide."

"Because they believe they can win," I say with a laugh. "But strength isn't always in numbers. Don't worry, Cressa. We'll defeat them."

"Oh, I'm not worried, exactly," she assures me. But there is a serious look in her eyes and her brow furrows the tiniest bit.

"What is it?" I ask anxiously.

"A premonition, I think," she whispers.

I hug her protectively. "Nothing will ever hurt you, I swear."

Cressa shakes her head. "I've been getting them for a month, and they're becoming stronger. Something…terrible is about to happen, Marcus. I can feel it."

I hold Cressa in my arms and pray to the gods that she is, for once, wrong. She is my love, my life. Whatever happens, I know I'll be all right as long as I have my goddess by my side.

xxxXxxx

There was no sound for many seconds. Finally, Aro spoke again. "Dead, Edward?" He shook his head sadly. "Tragedy sometimes ruins even the most heavenly of romances. I do so prefer happy endings." Once again, Aro lapsed into thinking aloud. "The beautiful heroine, murdered by the forces of evil. The hero is incomplete and can not advance in his plot, because his is one with hers." He spoke to us all now. "I've often thought our kind is much too violent with each other." He sighed heavily. "This is not an easy thing you ask, Edward. Tell us, what was the lady's name?"

Edward was on the verge of hysterics, I could tell. "Bella," he whispered, so quietly that I could barely hear, even with my superhuman hearing.

"Bella," Aro murmured. "Il vostro Bella bella." He began to pace. "I will not hasten to take the life of my brother's son, Edward.

Caius brought Aro back to reality with a sharp step toward the two. He gestured to Felix and his friend Demitri, who were watching curiously by his throne. "I think our guard will be more than willing to dispatch la bella's murderer. That is, if you haven't already," he added with a dark laugh.

I was standing in a vacuum, a black hole. An odd awareness crept through my veins, making my fingers tingle. Everything was loud and obnoxious. I didn't even blink. For the first time in 167 years, I was utterly engrossed in the moment. My heart felt alive again, if only the tiniest bit. I recognized the way Edward's face twisted at Aro's offer, and knew that the words in his mouth were the foulest he had ever said.

"She wasn't murdered. She…she killed herself."

Wait…what?

He held up his hand for Aro to touch—Carlisle must have filled him in on our abilities—and waited. Aro's face changed from sadness to surprise, and then settled on mild disbelief. He stared at Edward.

"She was human?"

xxxXxxx

"Marcus! They're in the dungeons! We have to surround them!" Caius yells from somewhere behind me. Cressa bursts through a door and grins devilishly.

"Two less for them," she says.

We run deeper into the fortress. Rival vampires from the east have broken through our guard and have penetrated our inner sanctum. It's my job to find the leader and his lieutenants. Even the most organized teams can be dissolved just by picking off the key operatives.

We enter the ancient dungeons, the gloom broken only by torches resting in iron sconces. It's quiet. Too quiet. Before we can turn around, hands separate us. There are six enemy vampires, and Cressa and I are outnumbered three to one. The largest one lunges at me and my sixth sense tells me I am fighting the leader. Two, four, six hands struggle to hold me down. Behind me, Cressa roars in fury. I can't help but grin quickly; that roar always spells doom for whomever she is fighting.

I tear the head off one of my opponents and he crumples, his body immobile. I jump on the…other? Where did the third go? In the quarter second it takes me to comprehend this new horror, the enemy secures their victory.

A primal, agonized, horrific scream fills the room. I cannot see around my adversary, and when I do manage to kill him, my brothers have already entered the room and hidden from view what I know is there but cannot bear to see.

xxxXxxx

Almost everyone was completely dumbstruck at this revelation. Only Caius, who considers any time spent on a human wasted, remained scowling.

Whispers broke out and various members of the guard talked behind their hands to one another.

"Human?" Alec's brow furrowed. "Isn't this a bit overdramatic for a human pet?"

"Why would he fall for a human?" Two of the female guards, Lila and Elizabeth, discussed their disappointment in this "fetching" newcomer. Something about personal taste.

"How could he manage it?" Only Heidi saw some sort of positive. She gave Edward yet another once-over, clearly even more impressed by him now that he reportedly had such extraordinary self-control. Felix noticed this and threw a withering look at Edward.

"I want to know why she killed herself." Jane was bouncing with glee. To her, I was sure, Edward's pain had became her plaything as soon as she found out that the source was some pathetic human.

"I don't understand." Demitri's thought processes couldn't rationalize interspecies relationships besides that of predator and prey.

"Enough!"

I spoke the word before I thought about it. Perhaps it was the anger in my voice that silenced everyone, or maybe it was the shock of my raised volume, or even that I spoke at all. I was fairly certain that some of the newer members of the guard had never heard me speak before. I pointed to Aro, then to Edward. "Aro, enlighten us. Many here do not understand."

Aro was just as surprised by my sudden outburst but quickly overcame it. He turned to face everyone else.

"It seems that Edward had the fortune to meet il suo cantante." Appreciative murmurs floated around the room. I ignored them. "She was the new girl, the mysterious object of affection to the human men, but still a nothing. But fate, the most omnipotent of us all, drew them together." He was speaking in a low, jovial tone that I had come to think of as the "grandfather" voice. That voice never failed to irritate me.

"But instead of killing her, and countless others, in that warm, tiny classroom, he fled!" He turned around with a flourish to face us all. A muscle leaped in my jaw. "But in his heart our Edward knew that he could not hide in the mountains forever. So he returned to his family, determined to ignore this human with the holy fragrance in her veins."

"Time passed, of course. Her blood always called to him. But instead of taking la bella Bella's life, he sought to know her more." He turned back to Edward, and I knew his eyes would be sympathetic. "And even though you tried not to, you fell in love with her."

Yes, I thought irritably. We already know this. But why did she die?

I had to know the whole story. Edward had said his Bella had killed herself. What had she done, cut her finger and waved it back and forth in front of him? I immediately dismissed that idea; no human was that stupid. As I wondered this, Edward gave me a quick, horrified glance.

xxxXxxx

Caius puts his hand on my shoulder. "Marcus," he says quietly. "I'm sorry."

I am frozen. My eyes are open, but I see nothing. There is a ringing in my ears. I move toward the crowd of Volturi, but Caius grips my shoulder tighter. "You don't want to see it, Marcus."

I shove him away. It'll be Cressa, just minorly injured. Nothing that can't be healed. She is so strong. So beautiful. And did I not swear to her that nothing would ever hurt her?

Aro turns and grips my shoulders, hard. "Marcus," he says. "You shall have your revenge. I will not rest until every one of the invaders have burned."

I can't see Cressa. Where is Cressa? "Move, Aro," I say. Aro lowers his eyes and steps aside, as do the others.

Before me is the mangled remains of the woman I love. There is no hope.

I sink to my knees, then on my elbows. Even the foulest demon in the deepest circle of hell trembles at the sound of my scream.

xxxXxxx

Aro began to pace again. "You see, Edward loved this human girl, but he knew that she did not love him back the same way. At least, he thought so. He couldn't really know. And Edward knows many things, because he is a mind reader! Every little thing that passes through every mind at every moment is his to hear! The gods have given Edward a monumental gift, they have."

A mind reader. Now I understood Aro's delight. Ever the talent scout, Aro. I could see where this little speech was going. I also understood Edward's little glance at me when I considered Bella's demise.

"Now you see, normally Edward can hear every little thought—at a distance—that passes through a person's head, but not Bella's." Aro pondered that for a minute. "That was most frustrating for you." He eyed Edward speculatively. "You could never hear what Bella thought when you held her, or kissed her, or told her you loved her," he said quietly. Edward inhaled a tiny bit. "You had to look into her eyes, her wide brown eyes, to glimpse the workings of her mind." Edward hid his face in his hands and I would have bet my half-life that he was seeing those "wide brown eyes" behind his own. "She had the most communicative eyes, of course. They always betrayed her. Whenever she hid what she felt, her eyes would show her fear, or amusement." Aro's voice dipped to a whisper. "Or despair." Edward nodded, his face still in his hands.

Cruelty. That is what this whole speech was. If I hadn't known Aro for three millennia, I'd have thought Aro was enjoying tormenting Edward. For indeed, Edward was shaking. I knew those shakes. My heart swelled a little more. Was this…pity?

Aro returned to storyteller mode and picked up raving again. "Edward and Bella had a few happy months in the summertime. They relaxed at his house with the other Cullens, drove around in his car—Bella hated how fast Edward drives—or just sat together in the front seats and enjoyed each other's company. Once, when rain canceled an outing, they arranged a picnic in Edward's room! Only Bella ate, of course, but it was a day of merriment nonetheless." He chortled to himself at—Edward's—memory. Edward was shaking again.

"But the fact remained that she was human and Edward and his extraordinarily large family—seven strong, in fact—were vampires. It all culminated at Bella's eighteenth birthday celebration, when she cut her finger, and Edward's brother Jasper, who is newer to Carlisle's lifestyle, could not control himself."

Edward flinched. He was reliving what was probably one of the most painful days of his long life, and I wished for his sake that Aro would stop. But he plowed on in his retelling. After all, I had told him to fill us in on the details, had I not? I instantly regretted ever opening my mouth.

"Edward knew that this was an omen of what Bella's life would be like if he stayed. He had to leave her. She'd get over it. Time would heal her of any wounds. After all, isn't that how it always goes? The hero must do what's best for the heroine, even if it means leaving. The heroine would pine in high tower, of course, but time would win out eventually and another Prince Charming would come along and sweep her off her feet. Her life would go on, even if his had ended forever." He looked at Edward, who lowered his hands but was unable to look Aro in the face, ashamed. "Isn't that what you thought, Edward?"

I had a fleeting desire to throw something, anything—my throne, the door, Demitri—at Aro. Anything to make him stop talking.

He turned to us all. "Yesterday, Edward got a telephone call from his sister Rosalie. She told him Bella had committed suicide, jumped off a cliff." Aro sighed resignedly. "He had underestimated Bella's reaction. Life without Edward wasn't life at all." He thought about that for a moment. "It is rather like dear Sybil, from the fascinatingly dark Picture of Dorian Gray. Dorian informed Sybil that he was no longer interested in her, and she took her life." He glanced apologetically at Edward. "Though obviously, you care a great deal about Bella's death. Dorian really was a heartless fiend." He shook his head. "I really do wish that Bella were here to see that Edward isn't the cruel man that Dorian was. It's a shame that she had to die with that bit of false knowledge."

Edward's eyes were closed now, shut so tightly that his forehead was creased like an old human face. He was still shaking, though this time in little bursts, almost like sobs. I couldn't watch. This had to end, now. I walked forward to Aro and placed my hand on his shoulder, though I looked at Edward.

"We'll discuss your request in our private chamber. Please wait here until then," I said with the edge of authority, but with what I hoped was some sort of positive comforting tone.

Away. I had to get away. The emotions were rushing over me with such a force that I felt like a river had washed over me, and I was struggling to break the surface. I needed to find a dark room and scream, scream until the very foundations of the earth were as cracked and warped as my heart.

Caius looked at me warily and a silent communication passed between us. Aro will never understand.

xxxXxxx

"He'd be dead useful." Heidi was sure of this. "Imagine being able to know where an enemy is lurking just by concentrating on his thoughts!" She shook her head. "I say leave him alive." She giggled indulgently. "And it's high time we had some new muscle to look at."

Jane scowled. "Your dedication to your husband is an inspiration to us all, Heidi," she said acidly. Heidi grinned impishly. Jane ignored that. "He'd be useful…I guess. Aro's ability, though useful, has always demanded dangerous proximity. But I don't like him, or his taste in sex bunnies."

Sex bunnies. Jane called the human, Bella, a sex bunny. I knew then and there that Jane's distaste with Edward had nothing to do with his romantic choosing at all. No, Jane was jealous. Jealous that Aro liked Edward's ability just as much as hers. Maybe even more, as Edward could gather information and keep Aro safe. I was disgusted. Jane wasn't two hundred years old; she had been thirteen for two hundred years.

Aro sighed. "I cannot condone killing the son of my friend and ally. Carlisle was a joy to have, and I would not ever willingly kill someone he clearly calls his own, nor would I want to count Carlisle among my enemies. And as Jane and Heidi said, his ability would be an unimaginable asset to us. I think we should offer him a place among us." He stroked his chin sadly. "It would be rather anticlimactic, though…"

NO. He doesn't actually—

"…normally I'd rather just let a story this engaging play out like the tragic romance it is."

He does.

"But no matter how much I wish the hero reunited with his heroine, Edward is better off alive."

Caius wanted to throw in his two cents. "I don't think he'd accept the offer, Aro." He crossed his arms. "But I will not kill anyone Carlisle counts as family."

All eyes turned on me. Now was the time.

"I think we should kill him."

"Would you like to be married, Marcus?"

Aro looked at me quizzically and I explained.

"There is nothing, nothing, which can describe the pain of true loss. At first, the pain is like a hole in your chest, and it is so real that you are incapacitated by it."

"Actually, I was thinking of the stars…"

"You feel the pain go away, eventually. But it doesn't really go away. It becomes nothing. There is nothing there. All you can do is wander the earth and look for what you'll never find."

"I know a dance."

I stood up. "Edward came here asking for mercy, and the most merciful thing we could do is to make his death as quick as possible."

"Why would anyone challenge the Volturi? It's suicide."

"Edward will never join us. If we refuse his request, we will find a way to force us to act. We have but one law, and I know he will find a way to break it. Then we'll have to kill him. And if you think Carlisle would be upset if you loosed the guard on his son, imagine how upset he'll be if we have to kill Edward and everyone he exposes himself to, as exposure is the only transgression we can punish him for."

"Something…terrible is about to happen, Marcus. I can feel it."

I sat down and covered my eyes. "I will not regret killing Edward. My only regret is not seeking my own death a thousand years ago."

"Two less for them," she says.

"I say kill him, and let him be in peace with Bella."

The four of them sat around that round table slack-jawed, stunned into silence.

xxxXxxx

We filed into the main chamber. Edward hadn't moved an inch, but I hadn't expected him to. Aro stepped forward.

"We have discussed your request, Edward. By majority we agree that we won't kill you." Edward's face fell more, a feat I wouldn't have thought possible. He shrank away from us a little bit, as though Aro had rebuked him very sharply.

"We feel it would be wasteful to destroy such a remarkable talent, so we offer an alternative. The Volturi always has room for expansion, and we would be pleased to have you with us."

Edward gave Aro a stare that said plainly, are you kidding? He stepped back.

"No, thank you, Aro. I must decline your offer." There was an edge of bitter amusement in his words that I could fully understand. "Our" offer had to seem perplexingly ironic, to ask for death and instead get an invitation to join the Volturi.

"We trust you won't do anything rash, then," Aro said sternly. "Please, consider our offer. It still stands. You could bring so much to the Volturi with your mind-reading. Such a gift has only been imagined."

Edward's eyes had become mysteriously blank. "No, I won't do anything rash," he murmured. "Good day to you all." Then he was gone. Aro beckoned Felix and Demitri forward.

"Follow him. Make sure he keeps the law. He's going to try something, and I don't want you to have to kill him because of it. If it looks like he's going to expose himself, bring him to me." The two thugs exchanged grins and left. The rest of the guard went back to whatever they had been doing before the recent drama. Aro and Caius disappeared in the direction of the lobby. I was left standing by my throne.

Above me, thousands of people were preparing for the St. Marcus Day festival. They celebrated in vain. The one time vampire hordes had stormed the city, I didn't save the only one I ever loved. Somewhere up there, a broken man was thinking about how he didn't save the one he loved. Would he make a public display of his strength? Walk into the sunlight? Perhaps he'd attack someone in the crowd. I hoped that Edward would be quick enough to do whatever it was he was going to do so that when it happened, Felix and Demitri would have to kill him, and his pain would be over. He'd be with his lady love.

One final rush of emotion filled my chest before my heart crumbled away forever: envy.