Title: Good-bye

Author: shakeahand55

Rated:K+

Pairing: Emma/Shalimar

Disclaimer: I don't own either Mutant X or the song My Last Breath by Evanescence!

Archived: Just ask!

Note: Ok I changed the story and have made it longer and now it's Shalimar and Emma! Oh and a HUGE thanks to my Beta, Elliot-and-olivia-4-ever.

The guys told me you were going to be in a place of peace now, a place where you wouldn't have to keep up your mind walls all the time.

A place where you won't be bothered by all the emotions and thoughts around you from all of us.

It still hurts to know that you were leaving us, leaving me for good.

I knew that you were only staying long enough to be able to say good-bye to all of us, but I wonder if it would have been better if you didn't hold on.

Hold on to me love
you know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was
I love you and I'm not afraid.
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?

I still wonder why it was you, how it had all really happened, and why you stayed alive to say good-bye, if it hurt you this much to do it.

As I walked over to you, your blood still falling to the floor from your wounds that you hid, but starting to stop, I knew it was all over as I looked at your face.

I brought my hands up to cup your face, rubbing it softly "I love you baby, I love you so much sweetheart" I said kissing you, your numb now I can tell as you don't feel my kiss on your cold and clammy skin.

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
All my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight

"Its ok honey, it doesn't hurt anymore," you tell me with labored breath, but I'm not sure if that's because of shock or because of the blood loss.

I know Adam tried to help you, because I watched screaming as Brennan and Jesse tried to drag me away, I know he gave you some shots but I don't know of what they were.

I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears

This wasn't the way it was to happen, it wasn't supposed to be anyone who got hurt at the abandoned factory.

But if anyone did deserve to be bloody, broke, and hurting right now it's the mutants who did this to you, to us.

Not you my sweet love, not you who is the one dying right now.

You don't deserve any of this!

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
All my thoughts of you
Sweet Raptured light
It ends here tonight

Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there

I still remember your face when you figured out that you had been hit and when you fell to your knees.

I was to far away to help you, I was to busy kicking a canine feral into the wall, and watching with a happy grin as he slumped down unmoving as his head connected with the wall.

When we got home we had asked and you said you were ok, but then you fell to the floor a few feet from the lab where you were going to do god knows what.

At the factory, there was blood I could smell it but I didn't know who or where it was coming from.

You were in pain, but you wouldn't let us see it as we ran for the Helix.

You had hid it from us as the fighting went on, and you hid from me on the way home.

I think as soon as you were hit you knew you were going to die, but you had to make it home.

Oh why didn't you just tell me, I could have helped the pain…or could have at least tried? No I really don't think you would have let me.

I wiped my eyes and sniff trying to hold in my tears as I watch you fight as your eyes start to close, sending you to sleep forever.

I wonder how our life could turn to hell in one single ill-fated moment.

Say goodnight
don't be afraid
Calling me
Calling me as you fade to black

I watch as you struggled with your last few breaths and listened for I knew this would be your last message to me.

I brought you close to me, for you to whisper in my ear so you didn't have to struggle to talk loud.

"Hold on to me Shalimar and don't let me go until I'm gone, and I love you baby. I love you all and I'll love you always just remember that and baby I'll be waiting when you meet me again one day…just remember when everything was good" you said to me.

I kissed you lightly and then spoke my last words for you to hear, as you always told me you loved it when I spoke to you.

"I love you Emma and I always will baby" I knew you heard that, I knew it was the last thing you would hear forever and I now let my tears fall free as I feel you go limp in my arms.

You look almost at peace lying like how you are in my arms; you look like you are only sleeping but I know your not.

I know you loved to be held like this as you had told me thousands times before, nothing is as peaceful as when I'm holding you like this is my arms.

I say I love you again over and over crying as I do so, burying my face into your hair remembering your smell.

I stay for a long time before the guys come and say their good-byes to you again, as they had let me stay with you until the end, which they knew wasn't going to be long.

I'm not sure who did it, but my arms were gentle removed from around you and you're laid on the table.

Your blood is all over my arms, my shirt, the floor and where you lay, but I don't notice, and I'm sure the guys don't notice it either.

"Oh god how could she do this to us, to me!" I scream punching Jesse's chest as he has now taken me in his arms, hugging me close.

I don't let him talk; I don't want to hear what he has to say to me, because truthfully nothing will make me feel better.

"God why did she have to go…why did she have to die!" I say burring my head into his chest.

I'm hoping for some relief from the pain that now is deep in my heart as I do this.

It's not fair that your gone, it's not fair that I'm alone now even through I have the guys, it's not fair.

I want to be with you so you're not alone, so you don't get scared when it gets dark.

Was it dark when you left? Was dark all you saw or did you see the guys and me? I hope you weren't in the dark, because I know it scares you.

I know you hated that I knew you hated the dark so much you always sleep with a night light or your light on.

I know you hated the dark, so baby I'll give you a flash light when we burry you so your not in the dark, so you don't get scared.

I'll leave the light on so you can find your way up to your place, where you're going…I hope it never gets dark there.

I feel very tired now and I can't fight it anymore as Jesse drags me away from you, to his room knowing I couldn't go into our room, I don't think I could go in there ever again.

For that I'm sorry baby, but I think I'd go crazy if I saw your pictures, if I smelled you all the time when I walked in when I could never touch you and hold you close to me.

So I can't go in our room, maybe I'll get Brennan or Jesse to get me some of your things so I can keep them close in my old room.

But not right now, now I just want to be with you so maybe when I fall into the sleep that I know I'm drifting off into I'll find you in my dream and we can be together again, at least until I wake up.

Wake up, that's what I don't want to do…I don't want to leave you alone and I want to stay with you forever.

I know I can't, so before I close my eyes into sleep I whisper into the air "good-bye Emma I'll be with you someday, so wait for me and know that I love you" I say before I reach for Jesse's pillow and pull it close to me.

Thank you for letting me sleep in here Jess, I'll pay you back some day, maybe I'll jump in front of you when you get attacked, I laugh at that and roll over, falling sleep even through I don't want to.