Title: Memories of You 21/21 - COMPLETE

Rating: M

Warnings: minor angst, romance, adult themes.

Spoilers: season 1 & 2. Story splinters off in the middle of LDYB2

Pairing: Lee/Kara + Various

Disclaimers: I don't own them wish I did

Summary: Lee finally gets a glimpse of Kara's love.

Memories of You – chapter 21

Hushed noises and odd clinking sounds brought her back to awareness. Kara cracked open her eyes to a darkened room. It didn’t make sense. She tried to move; sit up a little, and groaned when every muscle ached in protest.

“Hey, take it easy,” His soft, soothing voice insisted.

Kara swallowed and shut her eyes again, trying to orientate herself. The voice couldn’t be Lee’s; she must be dreaming. The gentle, familiar hum of Galactica reverberated through her bones. She really must be dreaming because it felt like she was home.

Opening her eyes, she turned to see Lee sitting beside her. He looked like a mess, face full of worry and relief.

“What…” Her throat hurt and a cough stopped anymore words from coming out.

“You’re in sickbay,” His hand cooled the burning skin on her forearm. “You’ve been out of it most of the day.”

Kara concentrated as bits of memory flashed in random patterns. The weight of gravity pressing against her chest as the Raptor ascended into the atmosphere. Waking up shivering yet finding a warm body wrapped around her whispering things she couldn’t quite remember. Crossing the stream at the narrowest point and slipping in the semi-dark; the sound of the Old Man’s voice barking urgent orders; waking up shivering in early morning light to find herself abandoned and alone, the relief when she finally noticed the scrawled note beside her head.

As the pieces all started slotting back together a sudden fear for the life growing inside her rushed to the surface. She jerked up onto her elbows shutting her mouth two seconds after opening it, barely catching herself from speaking out and accidentally letting Lee know.

But Lee’s sure hand went straight to her belly. “The baby’s fine, Kara. Our baby’s fine.”

The fierce emotion in his voice momentarily distracted her, making her slip into a rainbow bubble floating across freshly cut lawn. It popped when reality engulfed her again. She relaxed back into the pillow with a small sigh of relief but turned her face away from him. What could she say? She didn’t want his pity or obligation.

“You don’t have to be here,” She managed to force out.

The silence made her curl into herself; she knew his eyes were boring into the back of her head. As Lee removed his hand from her stomach, a sharp pain clutched at her heart. The chair scraped across the floor, his footsteps were hesitant at first before becoming more deliberate. She tried mentally counting to ten, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm the churn of emotions.

His voice broke her concentration at number seven.

“I can’t leave you Kara, not like this.”

Kara opened her eyes to see Lee in front of her, crouching down; his face was a confused mix of emotions.

He continued, “I don’t know if this is the right time…” He ran a hand through his hair and gave her an odd smile. “My timing has never been good as you well know.”

She didn’t smile at his attempt at humour, just kept her eyes locked onto his…hoping.

He hesitated before speaking again. “I gather you met Shevon on the planet?”

Hearing him say her name, the easy way it fell from his lips like he’d said it a hundred times made her unable to look at him. She turned her head away and rolled onto her other side.

Lee’s heavy sigh was full of frustration. But he resolutely walked around the bed again to face her.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He sat in the chair and reached out for her hand. She tried to pull it away, but he held firm. “I don’t know what she said to you, or what you think you know, but the baby’s not mine.” Lee started running off at the mouth. “She was just trying to secure passage back into the Fleet. It’s true that she wanted me to take care of her children, but it was just another of her business arrangements. She was looking for the easiest way out and apparently she thought that was me.”

With the rush of words he aimed at her, Kara couldn’t get past four of them. Her heart started beating a little too hard. “You’re not the father.”

Lee shook his head. “Nope.”

Her skin started to heat and prickle at the same time. Her voice was barely above a whisper, “Then why didn’t you want me anymore?”

Lee just stared at her, his jaw working. “How can you say that?”

“Because I waited for you everyday for a week to come and get me, to realise I wasn’t with you; hoping that I’d gotten it wrong.” This time she managed to get her hand out of Lee’s grip. “You never came.”

A look of hurt and guilt altered his features. “I thought you went back to Anders.”

Kara blinked. “You thought I went back to Sam?” This time her jaw ground hard. “Didn’t I make it perfectly clear to you many times that I didn’t want him?”

Lee’s eyes looked so hopeless. “When the Old Man told me you had resigned your post and moved planet side, I couldn’t stop recalling that that was what you had planned to do with him all along.” His eyes dropped down to his hands. “I went a little crazy.”

Kara felt the urge to reach out to him, stroke his cheek, offer comfort. But she didn’t.

Shifting so there was a little more space between them, she said, “Why do we both always think the worst of each other? I think there must be something wrong with us.”

Lee stood up and tried to sit on the bed near her hip. She knew he was trying to bridge the distance, but she wasn’t ready.

“Please, don’t,” She warned him away.

Lee stilled then reluctantly stayed on his feet. The look on his face told her clearly that she’d hurt him. She felt so confused she didn’t know what to do. Everything felt wrong. It wasn’t about how she felt about him; it was something more serious than that. Maybe it was about trust. Maybe the pregnancy hormones had her thoughts scattered all over the place. She just knew that a few words between them weren’t enough at the moment.

“Please don’t shut me out, Kara,” He pleaded softly, “Anything but that.”

Her eyes moistened; he always knew how to slip under her defences. “I’m not……I just need time to think.” She hoped that was enough to keep him from pressing.

Lee slowly turned to go and halfway between her bed and the curtain he stopped. “Can I make arrangements to have you transferred to the Pegasus’ sickbay? I want to be able to see you.”

“I…I’d rather stay here for now.” Gods, why was this so hard?

Lee looked at her for a long moment, and she saw the light dim in his eyes. It wasn’t what she wanted. So before he stepped out the room and it became too late, she called out just loud enough for him to hear, “I do love you.”

Lee went still, and then was suddenly at her side again. He sat next to her and gathered her in his arms, ignoring all of her former attempts at distance.

He was holding her a little too tight, but for some reason that was okay. His voice hummed into the skin of her neck. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.” He kissed her cheek close to her ear. “I love you too, both of you.”

And it finally struck her why she was feeling this odd way. There was no clear distinction that this was just about them.

“What if I wasn’t pregnant?”

“Doc Cottle says the baby’s fine, don’t worry.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Lee pulled back to look at her, “I would still love you.” He searched her face and she could see him sorting through possibilities. A look of complete worry came over him as he realised the more desperate ones. He didn’t have to say the words out loud, his eyes made the plea. Please don’t do anything rash. “Look, I came down to the surface just for you. I had no idea that you were pregnant. I just wanted you.”

She looked away, but he turned her face back to him.

Lee broke out into a big smile. “I was going to throw you over my shoulder and bring you back. Ask Helo.”

Kara couldn’t stop a smile from forming. “I’d like to see you try.”

His expression went serious again. “I did end up carrying you.” He touched her face. “I’ve never felt more terrified in my life than when I saw you lying in that water. I think you took ten years off my life.”

She took his hand and held it tight. “Thank you. Thank you for…” Her words were cut off as Lee kissed her. Full and soft. Her eyes fluttered shut and some of her fears melted away. But not all.

A cough interrupted them. It was Cottle.

“I see you are finally up.” His voice was gruff, trying to mask his pleasure.

Lee got off the bed and placed a quick kiss on her mouth. “I’ll be back tomorrow after my shift, okay?”

She nodded and watched him leave, thinking that maybe they could do this after all.

Cottle grabbed the chart from the end of her bed and flicked through the pages. “Now young lady, how are you feeling?”

0000000000

Lee couldn’t sleep.

Knowing Kara was on Galactica made him restless. Cottle said she would only have to stay there for another day or two and then she would be released for light duties only. No flying, nothing strenuous, plenty of rest and regular checkups.

Flicking on the lamp beside his bed, he sat up and reached for Cottle’s report again. Everything was normal and it was pointless to worry. Though there was one notation at the end that kept drawing his eye. Cottle had noted that she was at a high risk for not being able to carry to term due to the Cylon’s invasive surgery. Though he felt confident that if she followed his instructions, she would easily make it to eight months, maybe longer.

With the two Battlestars emptying as more and more crew moved down to the surface, Lee at least felt peace of mind that there would be no undue pressure placed upon her. When the flurry of activity calmed down he knew life was going to quieten down a lot.

A selfish sense of relief came over him as he realised how hard it was going to be to live a quiet life. Lee knew that if he was stuck out here without her he would probably end up depressed. But knowing that he would have Kara and that they had a new life to build together made him eagerly look forward to the change.

He just hoped that she would be just as happy.

There was still something not right with Kara. He could feel it. The pregnancy had changed her somehow, or maybe it was her time on the planet, or even a combination of both. But it was something that couldn’t be dismissed because she couldn’t drink, smoke or fly her Viper….

A thought popped into his mind.

Pieces of an old memory started playing……drinking with Zak as he came to terms with the fact that being married to Kara meant never being a father. Then Lee remembered reliving that memory in his coma dream when Kara had told him she was pregnant. Things were so confusing. In his dream Kara had wanted his children and yet the reality was quite the opposite. Kara had issues with motherhood. And even though he never knew details, he had gathered enough information over the years to work out it had to do with her childhood.

Putting the report back down, he got up and went to the bathroom. The water he splashed on his face trickled down his throat and dampened the front of his tanks. Why had she been willing to take the risk with him and yet now seemed so closed off? Those five days they spent loving each other felt like some distant dream. The following months of pain and anger had been hard on both of them, easily tearing down their first attempt at happiness.

Three days ago she said she loved him, he said he loved her. But there was a sadness invading that love. Shuttling over to Galactica, he’d spent the last two evenings with her where they’d continued to set each other straight on what really happened. He knew what good it was doing him to hear the truth and he hoped that he was returning the favour. They still had plenty to talk about and there were still a few big questions she hadn’t answered yet, like why was she at the stream the night he found her. But she had been resisting a few things and he got the impression that now was not the time to push. Boxing Kara in was never an option to take.

As he stepped back into his sleeping area he still felt restless. Going back to bed was no longer an option. Dressing quickly, he went into the main room and noticed the plans sitting on his new desk. They were designs his chief engineer had quickly put together for him to change a portion of the main room into an extra bedroom. He smiled as he looked at them and it helped him to make up his mind. The call was made and a Raptor was prepared within twenty minutes. His XO was notified of his absence for the next twelve hours and Lee found himself walking down Galactica’s corridors in no time at all.

Except Kara wasn’t in sickbay.

The night nurse tried to hide her smile at his instant worry. “Captain Thrace refused to sleep here another night. So the Doc allowed her to stay in her old bunkroom with a promise to come back in the morning.”

Lee let out a relieved breath. “Thanks.”

He gave the nurse a grateful smile and headed off towards their old bunkroom. For some reason the deserted corridors seemed more disconcerting here than on Pegasus. A sudden worry for his father settled across Lee’s chest as he thought of the Old Man shuffling along these empty halls. This ship meant everything to him and to have it slowly abandoned was going to be hard. But it wasn’t hopeless. He knew that a grandchild would soon fill his life and if his son or daughter had half the charm of its mother, the Old Man would be a goner.

0000000000

Kara looked around the abandoned bunkroom. Helo had bagged up her belongings from the surface and brought them back. They were currently sitting on the centre bench. She couldn’t bring herself to unpack them and yet she still wasn’t completely sure if she would end up unpacking them over on the Pegasus either.

She grabbed her kit and headed off to the showers hoping the warm water would be enough to relax her and allow her a good night’s sleep. While the water was running she traced her belly. Things were turning out so different than she expected. She rolled her neck, relieved that the aching had stopped and turned off the shower.

After her hair was mostly dry, she rummaged in one of her bags for a civilian t-shirt and pulled it over her head. The material was soft and well worn and felt soothing against her skin. She twisted her hair into a ponytail and crawled into bed rolling over to face the wall. With any luck her mind would shut down and sleep would claim her.

Sleep did claim her but not for long.

Kara startled when a weight pressed into the mattress making her dip to the middle.

“Kara, are you awake?” He whispered. And without waiting for a response he slipped in behind her.

“I am now.” The heat of his chest radiated through the material of her top. He shifted until he was comfortable and drew the blanket up tight around them, while settling a strong arm around her arms that were folded in front if her.

“How do you feel?” His breath ghosted along the nape of her neck

“What are you doing here?” She countered.

“I didn’t want to sleep without you.” He stated simply.

It made her smile despite herself. “Okay,” And relaxed into his embrace. It was crazy how his voice and touch dissolved her fears. “I’m still feeling tired but at least the aches have gone away.”

Lee pulled her tighter and bent his knee behind hers. “Good.” His body went still as they locked together. She heard him mumble something that didn’t make sense.

“What was that?”

“I said last time you stayed asleep until I stripped you.”

“What the frak are you talking about, Lee?”

“Don’t you remember……oh, um…of course not.” His voice trailed away.

She expected him to explain himself, but after a few moments of silence it became clear he wasn’t going to. “Don’t make me hurt you,” She threatened with a smile.

“You’re going to think I’m an idiot,” His voice sounded a little embarrassed.

As she took a breath to retort, Lee clapped his palm over her mouth. He leaned in close behind her ear and whispered in amusement, “If you let that one go, I’ll tell you.”

Kara pulled his hand away. “Spoil sport.” She made herself comfortable and stared at their silhouette on the wall. “Start talking and I swear by the gods if you have mixed me up with another woman…”

“I dreamt about you.”

He said it so suddenly that it caught her off guard. But his words had cast a quiet spell and she was afraid to break it by speaking. She placed a hand over his that was again wrapped around her chest.

Lee took a deep breath before continuing, “When I was unconscious for those ten days I was living in this elaborate dream.” He paused, “One time I was so desperate to see you that I ordered my Viper and flew straight to Galactica…”

Kara couldn’t help but stifle a giggle.

“What?” He innocently asked.

“You ordered your Viper?” She smirked. “Were you in a hurry?”

“If you’re going to tease me, I’ll stop talking.”

“Fine.” She pouted. “You were desperate to see me and ordered your Viper…… please continue.” Her cheeks hurt from smiling so wide.

He leaned in very close to her ear and relayed in dirty detail exactly what they did.

Kara’s eyes went wide as her skin started to heat up. “We did that in a room full of sleeping pilots.”

“Yep,” He said rather proudly.

“That’s some imagination you have there, Apollo,” She teased.

“That was nothing,” He responded without hesitation. It sounded like he was just warming up. “You thought we were married and you couldn’t remember who Anders was.”

“In your dreams,” She laughed, trying to hide how the subject had just gotten serious.

But Lee wasn’t fooled, nor was he laughing. “Exactly.” He shifted his hand down to her belly and cupped the soft swell. “I dreamt about you, Kara. I dreamt that you were in love with only me. That we were married and you were pregnant with my child.”

Her breathing became shallow as his words took vivid meaning. She twisted and rolled over to face him; his eyes, though shadowed, were intent on hers.

“You dreamt we were a family?” She asked softly.

He brushed his lips over hers, pulling her body in tight. “I know it seems crazy, especially since we were in the middle of one of our worst fights before hand. But my imagination got rid of Dee, of Anders and made you mine. Yet even in my dream I was scared that you were going to snap out of it and realise you didn’t want me. That you would go running back to Anders.” He paused to take a few calming breaths. “I think that’s partly why I went completely over the edge when I found out you had moved planet side. Every one of my worst fears came barrelling to the surface and I couldn’t see straight.”

Kara touched his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I. I’m sorry I ever convinced you to go down to the surface in the first place. You kept saying that you didn’t want to and I thought I was being mature or noble or something.”

“It’s done now; I don’t even want to think about the time I spent down there.” She wasn’t sure she could handle reliving the memories.

She could tell that he wanted to push and make her confess what exactly had been going through her mind; why was she camping away from the festivities the night he found her. And she was going to tell him…… just not yet. Talking about her childhood or her fears about being a mother was going to be tough – for both of them. And the fact that he didn’t push made her love him more. He was accepting her despite her flaws or her frakked up way of thinking. He wasn’t holding back or using his love as a bargaining chip.

A burst of warmth spread through her making her impulsively declare, “We’re having a baby, Lee.” He was silent and it worried her. “Lee?”

He rolled her onto her back. “Say it again.”

She smiled and curled her arms around his neck. “We’re having a baby.”

“I love you so much,” His voice was thick and before she could say it back he kissed her with everything he was feeling.

The sadness that had been weighing around them seemed to lift. The future no longer seemed so daunting. She had learnt a valuable lesson about not communicating and finally realised that Lee loved her just as much as she loved him. She was going to try and share her fears with him, allowing him to be there for her. For the first time in her life she felt that she wasn’t on her own. His tongue demanded entrance into her mouth and she welcomed him in. He kissed her breathless, making her skin tingle with desire.

As he travelled down her throat he was hindered by her t-shirt, so he nuzzled his way down the material until he reached the hem. His fingers tickled as he pushed the material up, and then were replaced by his lips. Kara sighed and threaded her fingers through his hair as he pressed kiss after kiss across her belly. Being a mother didn’t seem so scary at the moment.

As Lee made his way back up, she sat up a little to peel off the t-shirt and before she hit the pillows again, his hot mouth was sucking at her breast. She traced the velvet skin of his arms and shoulders and just relaxed as Lee examined the small new changes that were already happening to her body.

He leaned up to kiss her mouth again before switching to her other breast. “So how much bigger do you think they’ll get?”

Her mouth dropped open and she slapped his shoulder. “Gods, you’re such a perv.”

Lee laughed and ran his hand down the length of her side until he was cupping her bottom. “Is that a challenge?”

She smirked at him and drew the curtain shut. “Absolutely.”

Fin.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this story. The continued interest has been very encouraging. Thanks for the support :)