Disclaimer: Don’t own them.

Summary: 1st chap

Warnings: Cussing, Crazed Fan-Girls/Boys, Sexy Uniforms, SH, SI

Evie: TOTAL AND UTTER CRACK FIC!

Used anime/manga: InuYasha, Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, Wolfs Rain, Yu-Gi-Oh, Kingdom Hearts, DN Angel, Fruits Basket, Saiyuki . . . . Prolly more

Oh, yea, you havfta understand that this story is mainly for my friends so there’ll be LOTS of OC’s. Srry.

----------

Chapter 2: Wa’da ya mean ‘rape’?

----------

Envy walked down the corridor trying to find his room. But it wasn’t working. He had room 21. But, he couldn’t find it. He sighed and was about to give up when he spotted it. “Finally.”

He opened the door silently. He had been told he had a roommate who was in a bad mode and he was not to wake him. He shut the door behind him and threw his bags on the empty bed. He had also been informed that maybe it didn’t matter if he was woken up or not seeing how the rooms were sound-proof.

Envy crept over to the occupied bed, curious as to whom his roommate was.

“Chibi-chan!” Envy squealed tackling the sleeping figure.

“GET OFF ME!” Edward screamed groggily and tried to push the sin off him.

3

Envy sighed as he wondered the hallways The chibi had almost been to tired to fight him off. Almost.

“Well, can’t sleep now.”

“Maybe that’s cuz your not in bed,” a voice said. The person stepped into the light.

“IMPOSTER!” both yelled.

“I AM NOT!”

(Air gets electrified and you see sparks)

“Hey, you wearing a miniskirt, too.” :heart:heart:glitter:glitter:

(Now there are flowers floating in the air everywhere . . . and a mass orgy on the floor XD jk jk)

3

“I want Edo-kun!” Emily whined as she collapsed onto the couch.

“He’s her 2nd husband right? Or is he her 1st?” Chelsea asked turning to the blond.

“Inus’ 1 Edos’ 2 Clouds’ 3 and Soras’ 4. I think.” Evie replied counting on her fingers. Then she added. “. . I. . think”

“Oi. Oi.” Shannon interrupted. “I need someone to help me in the nurses office.”

“You have someone in mind?” this time Shiloh was questioning.

“Yea . . . babies everywhere!” Shannon replied with vigor. “. . . random ramen commercial moment. . . yea, I want Kyuubi.”

“But, isn’t he in Naruto?” Shiloh crossed her arms. She wants him too. (KYUUBI SHALL NEVER GO TO AA!)

“We could get him out,” Shannon replied eyebrows furrowed trying to think of how.

“Fine, if you can get him out you can have him be the fish nurse.” Shannon whooped with joy and made to leave, “but,” she paused, “he has to wear one of those white naughty nurse outfits. Mmmtay?”

Shannon kinda stood there for a second imagining it. She raised a hand in front of her nose, “Yea, sure.” She quickly ran off.

There was a moment of silence.

“I want Edo-kun!” Emily whined again.

Everyone stared at her for a second when Chelsea decided to speak up again.

“What’s a naughty nurse outfit?”

3

(Okay, really I’m purdy sure Sloshed knows what a naughty nurses outfit is but it just seemed like a Chelsea thing to say. Srry Sloshed!)

The next day. At lunch.

This sucks. Sasuke mused to himself. This absolutely sucks. How am I going to train if I’m here? How the hell am I ganna defeat my brother?

He took another step in the lunch line.

And not to mention the fact that Naruto kept following him. Sasuke glowered.

He took another step.

“Sasuke-teme!” Sasuke withheld a groan. I wonder who that is.

Naruto pulled on the taller boys sleeve. “What do you what, Usuratonkachi?”

Naruto pouted but then brightened back up, “Oi! Oi! Do you think they’ll have Ramen?”

“You asked yesterday and they said yes, right?” Naruto nodded, “Then yes they will just ask for it.” Sasuke was now in front of the food.

“Would you like fish sticks?” that voice sounded familiar.

Sasuke looked up as someone muttered, ‘That’s cruel Itachi.’

“ITACHI!” Sasuke bellowed, pointing at said person.

“Hello, foolish little brother, what would you like for lunch?” Itachi stared blankly at the teen.

“Rah!” Sasuke leaped over the thing dividing them and hit Itachi in the chest.

“Nani?” Naruto questioned.

Naruto put on his best ‘I’m-a-naïve-kitsune-please-explain’ expression and Kisame sweatdropped. The two brothers continued to wrestle and Kisame had to cover Itachi’s job also.

Even though that truly wasn’t Itachi’s job. Itachi, as lunch lady. No. he was filling in for someone.

3

(This part is solely for Emily. I don’t even wanna write it. Blec. She drew me Neko so I’m writing this. Blec.)

Emily entered the teachers lounge and looked around, good. It was empty. She giggled and skipped around the room. Why? Because it’s an Emily-like thing to do. The door opened and she turned to see who it was. “Edward? Why’re you in here? This is the teachers lounge, students aren’t aloud in here.” He glanced behind him and came through the door, shutting it behind him. He continued forward and came face to face with her. “Emily . . .” he started and flicked his gaze back and forth before look into Emily’s eyes again. (They’re the same height. Yes, Huggles is that short) “Emily, I came here to tell you that I,” he paused again and Emily felt her face growing hot. ‘Oh, my gawd! Is he . .? Is he . .?’ “I’m in like with you!” (Cheesy but Love said it to Georgie so, neh. Ha, Love, I just told everyone!) Emily repressed a squeal and replied. “I’m in like with you, too:squee:” “It’s settled then, lets get married!” Ed smiled broadly. “Yes, lets!” Emily hugged the blond and he hugged her back. (Blec. Whad about Envy!) they pulled apart and locked gazes. ‘Here it comes. Here it comes.’ “Ms. Emily.” Ed whispered drawing ever closer. “Ms. Emily?” “MS. EMILY!”

Emily was jerked awake by a boy with pinkish red hair yelling. “MS. EMILY!”

“What?” she said pouting.

“I think Hiwatari twisted his ankle, can I take him to the nurse?” the boy blushed slightly. (Yes, the nurse.)

Emily nodded, ‘He woke me up for that? I was thhhiiiss close, too!’

3

(Has anyone ever played the ‘In my pants’ game? Well, I have and the last time I did I was at church camp playing with a guy friend. And we, and a couple others, were talking about how God is everywhere and I go ‘God is everywhere.’ And stop, so they look at me like, ‘ya gatta say it.’ So I said a quietly as I can ‘in my pants.’ And a girl behind me, she isn’t one we were talking to, goes. ‘That’s sick! Who said that!’ yea, not fun.)

Shannon crackled loudly as she looked at the unconscious Naruto in front of her. She rub her hands together and looked off to the side. “So you know how to get Kyuubi and give him his own body.” she paused for a second, “Oh, and without harming Naruto.”

“Yeah,” Came the bored reply. “But, Iruka would hurt me if I do it.”

“I don’t care!” Shannon snapped glaring at the silver-haired sensei. “Kakashi you will help me! I know you’re a hentai and would kill for a chance to see Kyuubi in a naughty nurse outfit.”

Kakashi fought the impulse to giggle.

(Oh-kay, rushing the end because Sloshed and Huggles won’t. Stop. BITCHIN’!)

“Let’s begin.”

3

Evie pouted as she glared at Huggles. “I re-a-ly. Hate J00. Ya know that, right?”

Huggles smiled brightly and bobbed her head up and down. “Good.”

Evie turned away and looked at the intercom as if it had betrayed her and was saying this it’s self. She pressed and held down the intercom button and spoke into the microphone. “Elric, Edward. Please come to the office so I can get this over with.” She let go of the button and turned back to her former task of glaring hatefully.

“Uh, you.” Another voice spoke in an almost as hateful voice. “Can I leave now?”

Evie flicked her gaze onto the (ANGST ANGST ANGST) brunette brooding in the chair against the wall. “No, I need to talk to you about NOT tackling staff members.”

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed further but he stayed silent.

There was a rap on the door before a cautious blond head pocked through the doorway. “Yes?”

“Come in here,” Evie said boredly. She waved her hand in a ‘come hither’ fasion before letting it drop heavily onto her desk.

Ed walked in cautiously and shut the door behind him.

“Oh-kay, Em. Do your worst. . . Wait no don’t. But make it quick.”

Emily’s eyes sparkled as she advanced on the blond. Ed panicked and managed to go around in a semi-circle to where he was pinned against Evie’s desk instead of the door. (Cuz that’s much better.)

Emily advanced till there was no more room between them.

“Don’t do it near me!” Evie shrieked and shielded her eyes.

Emily smiled evil andthenkissedEd.

(Happy?)

Evie blanched and wished for a distraction. Emily pulled away and smiled dreamily where-as Ed was frozen stiff.

Suddenly, the door slammed open and there stood. . . . Itatchi. (Why? Because I Lurv him.)

Sasuke jumped out of his sat pointed and accusing finger at his Aniki and screeched at the top of his lungs.

“ANGST! ANGST! ANGST! ANGST! ANGST!”

----------

Evie: That’s it just cuz.

Goodbye for I have to prepare to get yelled at for this.

Click