Sorry it took me so long to get this posted. I haven’t had a lot of time to write AND it’s a 10,000+ word chapter! This was a really hard chapter to write and I struggled with the emotions. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and I thought it would just flow when I sat down to write it, but it didn’t. I’m still not totally satisfied with it but have played with it for so long now that I don’t know what else to do with it. So I finally just decided to post it. You can tell me what is wrong or right with it.

So, as always, thanks for sticking with me. I have one more ending to write, but for now, read this one and let me know what you think.

Alternate Ending 2

“Dad, I asked you where Jack is,” Audrey said frantically.

“Calm down, Sweetheart,” Jim Heller said placing his hands firmly on his daughter’s shoulders. “Jack is fine. He’ll be back here in a couple of hours.”

Audrey’s face lit up. “It’s over? He’s coming back! Really? Dad, I can’t believe this. How did you do it?” she asked as she hugged her father.

“I didn’t do anything, Audrey. It was all Jack. He was amazing. Before Jack got there, Bill Buchanan and Mike Novick and I addressed the President. When we finished, he pretty much told us that although he considered Jack a hero, he didn’t think there was any way to square this with the Chinese. He didn’t want to turn Jack over to the Chinese, but he felt that having him disappear again was the best thing for everyone.

“Then Jack came in. He sat down and very calmly started to tell his side of the story. He didn’t give any opinions; he just laid out the facts. It was perfect. He has such a humble presence that Gardner couldn’t help but be impressed. He was so matter-of-fact that you would have thought that he was describing a trip to the grocery store instead of a commando raid.

“Well, by the time he was finished, he had Hal Gardner eating out of the palm of his hand. I’ve never seen anything like it. Gardner is a crusty old son of a bitch and Jack made him look like a lap dog. You should have been there!”

“What are they going to do about the Chinese?” Audrey asked enthralled by the tale and wanting to hear every detail.

“Basically, they’ll make Charles Logan take the fall. At the moment that seems appropriate. David Palmer gave Jack the order to go into the embassy, but he was working under the direction of Logan. The problem was that Logan couldn’t make a decision, so David made it for him. No one, including Logan’s lawyer, could see the point in dragging David Palmer’s name through the mud; Palmer did what was right for the country at the time. President Gardner thinks he can get the Chinese to agree that Logan stepping down and being prosecuted for crimes against the US today is enough punishment. He’ll threaten to take away their most favored nation status if they don’t agree.”

“So where’s Jack now?” Audrey asked.

“He had about a ream of paperwork to go through with the Attorney General in order to basically get his name back and to clear him of any wrong doing. He said he’ll call you if he gets a few minutes.”

Audrey was all smiles. “I can’t believe this is happening! It’s so incredible. I was afraid that I’d never see Jack again.” She paused for a second to let everything sink in. “Dad, after all that’s happened, Jack and I really need some time to work things out. Is there any chance that I can take a few days off before I have to get back to Washington?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, that would be nice, but you won’t be able to do it for a while. Jack needs to head to DC tomorrow morning. The Palmer family asked him to escort David’s children throughout the viewing and funeral.”

“Isn’t that usually done by the military?” Audrey asked.

“Normally, but the family can certainly request anyone they want. Jack’s retired from the Army Reserve. They’re fitting him with a uniform tonight so he’ll be in uniform when he gets off the plane with the Palmer family tomorrow.

“Maybe once the funeral is over we can have some time to ourselves. If I can take some time off we can go away for a few days,” Audrey suggested.

Her father made a motion of indifference and turned away from her.

“What’s wrong, Dad? I thought you were happy that Jack’s name was cleared.”

“I am, Audrey. I just think you need to be careful about your relationship with Jack. You’ve been apart for 18 months and you are both very different people than when you last saw each other. I think you should give this some time before you start making plans for the future. Get to know one another again. There’s no rush. You have all the time in the world.”

“Dad, we love each other. What’s there to think about?”

“Do you really love Jack Bauer or do you love some hero image that you have created in the last year and a half? All I’m saying, Audrey is that you need to make sure that you haven’t idealized your relationship while you thought Jack was dead.”

“We know how we feel about each other. We’ve been together for the last couple of days. I don’t ever want to be without him again.”

“Sweetheart, you and Jack have been together in extraordinary circumstances. That’s different than being together on a day to day basis,” he explained. His tone softened a bit as he touched his daughter’s hand. “I’m sure that you love each other, but that’s not always enough. All I’m asking is that you give it some time and make sure this is what you really want before you commit to one another,”

Audrey nodded as if she agreed. She wasn’t sure what her father’s reservations were but, at least for now, it was easier to agree with him than to argue. There was no point in telling him that her mind had been made up for hours and that she could possibly already be carrying Jack’s child.

Jim Heller’s phone rang interrupting Audrey’s thoughts. Jim answered and spoke for a few minutes before disconnecting. “That was my assistant. Jack is finished with all of the paperwork. He’s with the tailor right now getting fitted for a uniform. Once that’s finished they’ll head back here. You can expect him within the hour,” he reported.

Audrey was practically jumping out of her skin with excitement. “I have to go shower. I don’t want Jack to see me this way.” She had suddenly realized how disheveled she looked and it wouldn’t do to have the man she loved see her looking like a wreck. “Oh, no!” she cried. “All of my luggage is still at the presidential retreat.” Audrey had been traveling with the president prior to the terrorist attack so she had been staying in a guest house at the retreat. “I have nothing to wear except the suit I was wearing when I got to CTU two days ago. I don’t even have anything to wear back to Washington tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about it, honey. I’ll call my assistant and have her get your things together and send them back here with Jack,” Jim told her.

Audrey thanked him, gave him a peck on the cheek and trotted off to the bathroom to make herself look and feel human again. Jim pulled out his phone to call his assistant. As he did so, he watched his daughter practically dancing toward the bathroom with a combination of amusement and concern.

When he first learned 18 months earlier that Jack and Audrey were seeing each other, he was surprised. Their personalities were very different. Jack was private. Even those who knew him, really knew only what he was willing to let them see. Audrey on the other hand was an open book. She was bubbly and vivacious and you could know Audrey for a day and know her life history, what had shaped her life and what her core beliefs were. The old saying “still waters run deep” fit Jack to a tee. Of course, Jim knew from experience that opposites attract, but that same experience also told him that while they attract, it often didn’t last. He knew that when Audrey began to see deep into Jack during the last terrorist attack, that she didn’t like what she saw. During the ensuing 18 months while she believed that he was dead, she was able to soften and rationalize and justify all she had seen. She had come to the point where she believed that she could live with all of that if she could just have Jack back again. Now that she knew he was alive, she had forgotten those things that she didn’t like about Jack. He was her hero and heroes are easy to love. Jim just hoped that he was wrong; that this wasn’t idol worship, but rather a truly deep and loving relationship between two people who he loved and wanted to see happy.

Jim wasn’t surprised that his daughter felt the way she did. What really surprised him was that in his brief discussion with Jack at the presidential retreat earlier in the day, that Jack, too was professing his love for Audrey. Once Jack knew that his name would be cleared, he basically asked Jim for permission to marry Audrey. Jim had reluctantly told him that whatever the two of them wanted was fine with him, but he had expressed the same concerns that he expressed to Audrey. In both cases Jim knew his cautions fell on deaf ears.

Jim shook his head to clear his thoughts as he crossed the room to the minibar. Jack and Audrey needed to sort this out themselves and he needed to stay out of it. He was in the process of pouring a scotch and water when Jack knocked on the suite door.

“Are you ready to celebrate your freedom?” Jim asked as he handed Jack the drink he had poured for himself.

Jack set down Audrey’s luggage that he brought with him from the retreat. “Only if you plan to join me,” Jack said taking the proffered drink. Jack had a big, warm smile on his face. He was happier at that moment than Jim had ever seen him before. He watched while Jim poured a second drink. “Where’s Audrey?” he asked.

“In the shower. She should be out in a few minutes,” Jim said raising his glass to toast Jack’s new found freedom.

Jack returned the gesture. “Let me put Audrey’s bags in the bedroom,” he said setting down the drink. As he returned from the bedroom, Jack picked up the room service menu. “Are you hungry? I’m starved. I wonder if Audrey has eaten,” he mused while he read the menu.

“I’m sure Audrey hasn’t had a thing to eat all day. She was too worried about you.”

“Good, then the three of us can order some dinner and celebrate. We’ll get a bottle of champagne.”

Jim smiled and shook his head. “According to the old saying, Jack, ‘three’s a crowd.’ I’ll head up to my suite and leave you and Audrey to celebrate.”

Jack smiled and looked embarrassed. Jim Heller was an old fashioned kind of guy. Jack knew that the idea that he and Audrey were sharing a bed without the benefit of marriage or at least a solid commitment such as engagement was against his belief system. “Look, Jim,” Jack started, “I know you don’t approve …”

“Of you bedding my daughter,” Jim finished crassly, but without any anger in his tone. “You’re right. I don’t approve. I told you earlier, Jack, I think you two are in way over your heads. I think you need to step back and make sure this is really right for both of you before you muddy the waters with sex. But I don’t really have any control over that. You’re both adults. You can decide what’s right for you.” Jim extended his hand to Jack. “I just want what’s best for both of you,” he said. Then he surprised Jack by hugging him. “I’ll see you and Audrey in the morning. My security detail will pick us up at 6 o'clock to take us to the airport.”

Jack walked to the door with Jim Heller and watched him walk down the hall. He wasn’t sure why Jim was so concerned about his relationship with Audrey, but then again, he didn’t really want to spend any time thinking about it. What he really wanted was to eat dinner and share a bottle of champagne with Audrey and then make love to her all night. He was getting excited just considering the possibilities when Audrey stepped out of the bedroom. She was dressed in a pair of lounge pants and a tight fitting camisole. If he thought he was excited before, it was nothing compared to how he felt when he saw her.

“Oh, Jack!” Audrey exclaimed as she jumped into his arms. “I’m so happy. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, baby,” Jack whispered in return. They held each other for a long time before Jack’s stomach audibly growling made them both laugh and pull away. “I think I’m hungry,” he said.

“Me, too. I haven’t eaten since this morning. What’s on the menu?”

They quickly perused the menu and made their choices. Jack picked up the phone to call room service. “Did you want champagne or a bottle of wine,” Jack asked her before dialing.

Audrey was just about to tell him that she wanted wine, when she remembered that she might actually be pregnant and that alcohol was probably not a good idea. “Neither. My stomach is a little upset from all the worrying I did today,” she lied. “I’m not sure that alcohol is such a good idea right now. Ginger ale would be fine.”

Jack shrugged slightly and placed the dinner order. He ordered ginger ale for Audrey and a glass of cabernet for himself. After he hung up, he put his arms around Audrey. “It’s a shame that you already showered, I think I’ll shower while we’re waiting for dinner and you could have joined me,” he hissed while he kissed her neck.

Audrey pushed him away playfully as if insulted by his suggestion. “You go take a shower. I’ll just wait for room service, but I’m warning you, if you’re still in the shower when the food gets here, all bets are off. I’m so hungry that I might just eat your dinner and mine,” she teased.

“If I’m in the shower alone, it’s not going to take me very long,” he said in return as he kissed the tip of her nose.

As Jack closed the bathroom door, Audrey realized that she was facing the first real dilemma of their relationship. When she made the decision the previous night to make love knowing that she could become pregnant, she thought she would never see Jack again. Now that he was back, she wasn’t quite sure what to tell him. This was a development that she hadn’t counted on. He obviously expected that they would make love again. How would he feel about a baby? Should she just let the evening play out and worry about the consequences later? In a few weeks, if it turned out that she really was pregnant, she could tell him that it was an accident. If she wasn’t pregnant, then he would never be the wiser. Although it was the easiest route, deceiving Jack just didn’t seem to be the best way to start their life together. No, it would be better to tell him the truth now and face his possible anger.

They ate dinner at the small table in the corner of the suite while they chatted and laughed and just enjoyed being together. When they finished, Jack reached for Audrey’s hand. He lifted it to his lips and kissed it gently as he stood up.

“Come here,” he whispered.

Audrey stood and moved toward him. Jack gathered her into his arms. “You know,” he hissed seductively into her ear, “now that we’ve eaten, maybe we can do something more interesting.” He allowed his lips to graze her neck and she groaned involuntarily.

“Ah, Jack,” was about all Audrey could muster at the moment.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom,” Jack suggested in the same sexy voice. He took a step toward the bedroom door drawing Audrey with him, but she hesitated. “What’s wrong?” he asked her.

“We need to talk, Jack.”

“That sounds serious,” he said as a look of concern washed over his face.

Audrey took Jack’s hand and led him to the sofa. She wasn’t quite sure how to begin. “Last night when you asked me about birth control…”

“And you said that it was okay.”

“Jack, try and understand that I never thought I was going to see you again. I wanted to have a part of you that no one else could have.”

“What are you trying to say, Audrey?”

“I’m trying to say that last night was probably not a good night for us to have unprotected sex unless our goal was to conceive,” Audrey explained sheepishly.

Jack squinted trying to understand. “Are you trying to tell me that last night you might have become pregnant?”

Audrey bit her lower lip and nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry, Jack. Now I can look at it and I know that lying to you was wrong, but at the time all I could think about was having your child.”

“So what are you thinking now?” Jack asked. “What if you’re pregnant?”

Audrey couldn’t help but smile. “I’ll be very happy.”

“Really? I never got the impression that you wanted children. You were always so focused on your career.”

“I never thought about having a family until I thought you were dead. I guess I started to understand what was important in life,” she told him. “I guess the real question is: How would you feel about it?”

“Do you have to ask? You know how much family means to me. I’d love for us to have a child together. I would have liked it if you would have included me in the decision, but given the circumstances, I understand completely. I love you so much,” Jack whispered. “The idea that you wanted to have a part of me even if I never came back is incredibly beautiful, Audrey. You can’t imagine how much that means to me, sweetheart.” Jack pulled Audrey into a series of long, slow kisses.

“I take it that means you aren’t angry,” Audrey said during a break in the kisses.

“Not at all,” he returned. “But now we have to decide if we’re going to go into the bedroom and give ourselves an even better chance to become parents.”

“Oh, Jack, I want that more than anything in the world,” Audrey told him sincerely.

“Good, then let’s do it.”

They made their way into the bedroom where they spent the next several hours making slow, passionate love. They weren’t in a hurry for they knew that they had the rest of their lives. The fear that they both felt the night before was gone. There was no urgency anymore.

The love they shared that night would have to hold them for a while, because the next week was physically and emotionally grueling for Jack. After little sleep, Jack and Audrey left the Hilton and boarded Air Force One for the flight back to Washington. Once in Washington, Jack spent the next three days with the Palmer family. He escorted Nicole and Keith Palmer through all of the ceremonies and services during the day and stayed at David Palmer’s Maryland estate outside of Washington at night.

Less than 24 hours after David Palmer’s funeral, Jack boarded a plane back to the west coast for the painful process of saying goodbye to Tony and Michelle. He had been asked to eulogize his best friends, but declined. He could hardly say their names aloud without breaking down let alone stand in front of a crowd and talk about them. He agreed to be a pallbearer, but nothing more. The weight of their deaths, his implied responsibility for their murders, lay like a yoke on his shoulders.

It was with that depth of emotion that Jack reluctantly stepped onto the plane wishing with all of his heart that Audrey could be with him. She had been working an insane number of hours, as had everyone at DoD, in the wake of the terrorist attack and couldn’t get the time off to go to California.

When Jack and Audrey came east on Air Force One, he told himself that he was starting a new life. The first forty years in California would be relegated to some corner of his mind that he didn’t plan to visit very often. Those forty years included a difficult childhood and the murder of his wife and now the loss of his best friends and, the ultimate insult, desertion by his daughter. Those were all things he planned to forget as he built his new life on the east coast with Audrey and possibly their child. This trip would be difficult, filled with reminders of all of those things. But, mercifully the trip would be quick (he was flying back to DC just hours after the funeral). He would get through it as best he could and return to Audrey and the warmth of their love.

In Washington, Audrey anxiously awaited Jack’s return. They spoke on the phone, but that wasn’t enough for her. After their 18 month separation, she needed to be with him. She occasionally rubbed her belly wondering if they had actually conceived. She would know for sure in another week, but, at the moment, that seemed like a million years away.

As emotional as his days in Los Angeles were, Jack also found them somewhat cathartic. He learned that neither the Dessler nor Almeida families held him responsible for Tony’s or Michelle’s deaths and Jack was humbled by their kindness to him. He saw Kim at the funeral and they talked for a little while. The outcome wasn’t entirely what Jack wanted, but at least they were on speaking terms by the time Jack had to leave for the airport. Kim gave him a quick hug and kiss before he left. She said that she was happy that he was starting a new life with Audrey and she hoped that it worked out for the best.

Jack returned to Washington and moved into Audrey’s townhouse where the two began to settle into a domestic routine. Jack was an early riser and often went running just after the sun rose. By the time he got home, Audrey was stirring and Jack made the coffee. He took her first cup up to the bedroom and they sat on the bed drinking coffee until Audrey finally dragged herself out of the warm bed.

It was a Saturday morning, a week or so after Jack returned from California and the brisk Washington morning was perfect for running. Jack slowed his pace as he approached Audrey’s townhouse and walked up the steps to the porch. He opened the door and could smell the coffee as soon as he stepped inside. Audrey stood barefoot in the kitchen pouring the coffee into mugs.

“What are you doing up so early?” he asked, surprised and a little disappointed to see Audrey out of bed. He was kind of hoping to take a quick shower and tumble back into bed with her. They had nothing planned and Jack could think of nothing nicer than to spend the day holed up under the covers with her.

Audrey looked down at the kitchen counter as if stirring cream into her coffee was a detail that required her utmost attention. “I’ve got cramps. They woke me up. I had to get out of bed to take something for it.”

“Cramps?”

“Yes,” Audrey said with an edge in her voice. “Cramps. You know, menstrual cramps. I got my period.” She finally looked up at him. Her tone softened considerably. “I guess I’m not pregnant,” she whispered as tears filled her eyes.

“Come here,” Jack said gently as he pulled her into his arms. “It’s okay. We can try again.” He held her a few inches away so he could look into her eyes. “Think about it. ‘Trying’ is half of the fun,” he said with a smile.

Audrey smiled back and nodded. “I know. You’re right. I guess I just had my heart set on this. I wanted it so much.”

“I know,” Jack replied. “But we’re together and that’s the important part. Everything else will work itself out.” Jack kissed the tip of Audrey’s nose and then pulled away to retrieve his coffee from the counter. “You know,” he said with his back to her. “Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.”

“How so?” Audrey asked.

Jack turned to face her. He suspected that she wasn’t going to be thrilled to hear what he had to say. “Maybe we should get ourselves really settled in before we start our family. I don’t have a job yet. Once I get that, we’ll make more decisions about where we want to live. We definitely need a bigger house if we’re having kids. There’s a lot to think about.”

“How long did you want to wait?”

“I don’t know. I’m thinking at least a few months, maybe a year. Let’s not put this on a time line. Let’s just play it by ear. We’ll know when the time’s right.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Audrey agreed with a sullen nod that Jack was pretty sure meant that she was just agreeing to placate him. “I’m going to go get dressed,” Audrey said as she took her coffee mug and silently climbed the stairs.

Jack’s first instinct was to follow her and try to explain his position, but he thought better of it and let her go alone. She was acting on emotion and trying to talk sense to her was simply a waste of energy. Jack picked up the morning paper and carried it to the kitchen table. He sighed as he set down his mug and opened the paper. It was going to be a long quiet Saturday.

That Monday morning Jack started his job hunt in earnest. He had a number of contacts from his years in law enforcement and with the military and he called several of them to see what positions might be available to him. As he expected, he had lined up a number of interviews over the next couple of weeks. He excitedly laid out his schedule for Audrey over dinner.

“Let’s see,” he said referring to a legal pad perched on the edge of the table. “I’m talking to Fred Acuff from the Secret Service counterfeiting division on Wednesday and Don Schultz at the FBI on Friday. Next week, I’m meeting with Colonel Wyatt about a training position for Special Forces. Tom O’Reilly from NSA wants to talk to me but he doesn’t have any time this week or next. We’ll probably meet the following week.” Jack was clearly excited about the prospects.

“My father wants you come back and work for him. Why won’t you consider it?” Audrey asked.

“Audrey, we’ve been through this before. I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to work for your father while we are involved in a relationship.”

“That didn’t bother you a couple of years ago,” she pointed out.

“That was different. When he hired me, we weren’t a couple. Even after we started dating, your father didn’t know about it. Now that he knows, I think it would be awkward. Besides, I don’t think that it’s best for us to work together all day and come home and be together all night. We each need our own identities.”

Audrey continued to argue, but Jack would not be swayed. He continued to get in touch with old contacts and to set up interviews despite Audrey’s desire to have him working with her father again.

For the next four weeks Jack went from one interview to another, with many of them followed up by second and third interviews. It seemed that the possibilities were endless and Jack was excited by the new and different challenges that each position brought with it. Job offers started piling up and he started to weigh out the pros and cons. Audrey found the whole process tiresome, although Jack’s enthusiasm amused her. She had never seen him like this. He was almost childlike, but nonetheless, she just wished he would make a decision so they could move on with their lives. His job search had become all consuming.

Audrey sat at her desk completely immersed in a position statement that she needed to go over prior to a presentation that her father was giving to the Cabinet later in the week when her phone rang. “Audrey Raines,” she said absently as she continued to read.

“Hey,” Jack said softly. “How’s your day?”

Audrey stopped reading surprised that Jack was calling. He rarely interrupted her at work. “It’s fine. How’s yours?”

“It’s great. I just accepted a job.”

“Really? Which one? I didn’t think you’d made up your mind. You didn’t tell me you were going to accept an offer today,” Audrey said incredulously. They had discussed this decision endlessly and as far as she was concerned, Jack had not finalized his decision.

“I’m sorry, I should have discussed this with you first, but this just came up and it was a perfect fit. I had to make a quick decision, so I did it.”

“What’s the position? Who will you be working for?”

“Why don’t we meet at D’Antonio’s for dinner and I’ll tell you all about it.” Jack paused as he looked at his watch. “It’s almost 4:30. Can you meet me there at 6:30?”

“I guess,” Audrey said looking at the stack of work she wanted to complete before leaving. “That’s going to rush me.”

“Ok, make it 7 o'clock. Is that better?” Jack asked.

“That should be okay,” Audrey said, but not convincingly. “I’m not really dressed for D’Antonio’s and I won’t have time to get home and change.” The Georgetown restaurant was considered one of the most formal restaurants in Washington.

Jack ignored the doubt in her voice. “When you left home today you had a dark suit on. It’s a Tuesday evening. I’m sure most people there will be dressed in business clothes. You’ll look great. So, I’ll see you at D’Antonio’s at seven. They don’t take reservations, so I’ll get there early and get us a table.”

“Alright, I’ll see you then,” Audrey said before they disconnected. She tried to go back to reading the policy statement but couldn’t concentrate. Jack sounded so excited on the phone and she wished that she could match his excitement, but she couldn’t. All she could think about was how much work sat on her desk and there was no way to finish it if she had to leave and go out to dinner. Damn you, Jack, she thought. Think about me once in a while. Not only did you accept a job without talking to me about it, but now you expect me to drop everything and meet you for dinner. As soon as the thoughts crossed her mind, Audrey was upset with herself. She was acting like a spoiled child and she knew it. Jack was putting his life back together and he was excited about it, as he should be. And the truth was, that the final choice on the job had to belong to Jack. She had no right to interfere with that. Audrey sighed, unhappy with herself. When am I going to grow up and learn how to make a relationship work? she wondered. She and Paul had failed and, as much as she wanted to blame him at the time, she knew that there was plenty of blame to go around. No, she thought, not again. I’m going to make it work this time. Jack and I have a future and I’m not going to screw it up.

Audrey met Jack a few hours later at the restaurant. As he promised, he arrived early and got a table. He was sipping a scotch and water when he saw the maitre d lead her into the dimly lit room to the left of the entrance.

Audrey saw him as well. She couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked in a dark blue suit. He smiled at her and stood to pull out her chair.

“Hi, Sweetheart,” he said softly as they exchanged a quick kiss. “Did you get your work finished?”

“No, but it’ll get done tomorrow,” she said trying hard not to worry about it and knowing full well that she would have to work late the next day. She looked up at the waiter who was waiting patiently to take her drink order. “I’ll have a gin and tonic with a twist of lime, please,” she told him. The waiter nodded as stepped briskly away.

She took a sip of water and looked at Jack. “So, tell me about this job,” she said sounding as excited as she could.

“I can’t believe this position came up,” Jack said expansively. Audrey wasn’t sure when she last so him so animated. “Mike Golden called me this morning as asked if I could come over and meet with him.”

“Wait a minute,” Audrey said. “Mike Golden? Isn’t he with the CIA?”

“Yeah, we were in the army together.”

“You didn’t interview with the CIA.”

“I know, but Mike was talking to Colonel Wyatt. The Colonel told Mike that I was job hunting and Mike decided to call me.”

“Jack, you aren’t really going back to the CIA are you?” Audrey asked.

“Yes, Audrey, I am. This job was too good to pass up.”

“How so? Let me guess, you just can’t stand to go to work every day and never get shot at?” she asked sarcastically.

“Whoa! Whoa! This isn’t field work. I’ll be doing the planning. Somebody else is going to put their ass on the line this time. With all of my field experience, I’m the kind of person Mike was looking for. I know what works and what doesn’t. Most of the guys who plan missions have never been on one. They don’t understand what can go wrong. So basically, they’ll give me the mission plan and I’ll de-bug it and make it workable for the field agents. It’s a safe job, Audrey and I’ll be working out of Langley. That’s less than a half hour from home. This is a win-win situation for us. I couldn’t turn it down,” Jack explained.

Audrey had to admit, that despite her early reservations, the job did sound perfect for Jack. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. When I heard ‘CIA’ I got a little worried that they’d be bringing you back to me in a box. It sounds like a great opportunity. I’m happy for you,” she smiled and internally chastised herself for her earlier anger at him as she reached for his hand.

The wine steward approached their table carrying a bottle of champagne. “Your champagne, sir,” he said as he showed the label to Jack.

Jack looked at the label and then at Audrey. “I hope you don’t mind. I ordered the champagne before you got here so we wouldn’t have to wait.” The wine steward turned the bottle so Audrey could see the label.

She smiled and blushed again chastising herself for her earlier anger. “Jack, that’s my favorite. Thank you!” She knew there were a couple of champagnes that Jack liked better, but instead he ordered her favorite.

The wine steward poured a small amount, allowed Jack to taste it and waited for him to give his approval before filling Audrey’s glass and then topping off Jack’s glass. He then put the bottle in an ice bucket and left.

Jack and Audrey raised their glasses and toasted silently. “This is quite a celebration for a new job,” Audrey said after taking a moment to savor the feeling of the champagne in her mouth.

“Maybe we’re celebrating more than just a new job,” Jack suggested.

“Oh, really? What else are we celebrating?”

“Maybe we’re celebrating because it’s Tuesday.”

“Well, that seems like a good reason,” Audrey said with a smile as she rolled her eyes.

“Okay, maybe we’re celebrating something else.” Jack reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box. “Maybe we’re celebrating our engagement,” he said as he opened the box.

Audrey gasped as Jack revealed the round diamond surrounded by sapphires and set in platinum. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything as he slipped it on to her hand. Tears blurred her vision as Jack spoke.

“Audrey,” Jack said softly. “Will you marry me?”

“Oh, Jack! I love you so much,” she said through her tears. “Yes, of course!”

They kissed across the table and then looked around, giggling as they caught sight of some other diners staring at them. It didn’t matter that others were staring. They were too happy and too in love to care. After so much pain in the past, everything was going perfectly and this evening had topped it off.

Their engagement now official, Jack and Audrey started making plans for the future. Wedding dates were considered as were honeymoon locations, new houses and numbers of children. The problem was that no decisions ever seemed to be made. Somehow other factors, such as work schedules, or disagreements kept getting in the way. Jack and Audrey both tended to be workaholics and both put in an excessive number of hours. On top of that, both of their positions often required travel and their time together became more and more limited.

Travel for Audrey usually amounted to a day or two here and there. Occasionally she would be overseas for a week with her father, but that was unusual. Jack, on the other hand, found that after planning a mission, the best way to ensure its success was to be on site. That meant long trips to the far corners of the world. For security reasons, Audrey rarely knew where he was off to or how long he would be gone. He could leave one day and surprise her by coming home the next or he might leave and be gone a for a couple of weeks.

Jack absolutely loved the job. It put him as close to field work as he could be without actually getting shot at. He had been in Korea and Afghanistan, the Russian republics and Indonesia. His group had successfully taken out a warlord who was threatening violence against the West, smuggled arms to rebel leaders, destroyed a terrorist training camp and eliminated caches of weapons that were on their way to enemy forces in various hot spots around the world. Each time Jack came home ready to tackle the next mission with a zeal that exceeded the mission before.

Any happiness or enthusiasm that Audrey might have felt about Jack’s new job faded after the first couple of missions. That was all the longer it took for her to realize that she didn’t like coming home to an empty house every night. Not that she spent much time at home, with her job almost always keeping her in the office from early morning until eight or nine at night. Still when she arrived home, she had become used to Jack being there and now he often wasn’t. Once or twice while she was out of town on business, conditions would change on a mission that Jack was working on and he would have to leave town without warning. In those cases Audrey would either come home to a note of explanation or get a phone call or voice message to let her know that he would be gone “for a while”.

Audrey received one such note upon her return from a trip to Russia with her father. The trip had been very successful and when she arrived home she was dying to share every detail with Jack. A note on the kitchen table explained that his group had intelligence that an important weapons cache was being moved and they had a chance to ambush it on its route. He said he would contact her when he could, and, of course, would be home as soon as possible. It finished with “I know this is a lousy welcome home for you Sweetheart, especially after such a long and important trip, but I have no choice. This has to be done. We both have chosen a path to serve our country and the greater good but sometimes I wonder if, in the process, we have sacrificed too much. I love you, Audrey.”

Audrey read the note twice before tearing it to shreds and throwing it angrily in the trash. What was happening to them? What had they become? Where were the two people who wanted to raise a family together? Audrey suddenly remembered her attempt to become pregnant back in LA and cringed. It was the first and the last time that she tried to conceive; they hadn’t even talked about a baby in several months. If she had conceived, their baby would be a couple of months old right now. Look at the life you’d be providing for him, she thought. His parents would never be home and when they are, they’re too tired to care about anything but sleeping and getting ready for the next day’s work or the next mission.

After a poor night’s sleep, Audrey went to work the next morning planning to work herself to exhaustion. It was Friday and she knew that the office would be virtually empty by 6 o'clock and she would have the place to herself. She had plenty of work to do and could easily work 16 hours. Then she would drag herself home and collapse into bed so she wouldn’t have to think about her personal life.

As usual, Audrey’s schedule was full and the day went by quickly. She joined the rest of her father’s staff in the conference room at 4 o'clock for a briefing on his Russia trip. Jim Heller was in a particularly good mood after the successful trip and the briefing was surprisingly short. Within 15 minutes he was finishing up.

“Before I finish, I just want to take the opportunity to thank every one of you. You all worked incredibly hard in order to make this trip a success. I’m sure many of you think that I don’t notice how many hours you put in, but I do. So today,” he said with a smile, “I am ordering everyone to pack up and go home. I want everyone out of here by 5 o'clock. That’s not a suggestion, that’s an order. Any work that you haven’t gotten done by five will still be here Monday morning and you can do it then. Understood?” Jim paused for a moment and looked around to make sure his message had sunk in. “Good. In that case, good night and I’ll see you all Monday morning.” With that, Jim turned and exited the room.

The entire staff was smiling and moving toward their offices and desks to begin packing up for the day. Audrey settled back in her office and opened the file she had been working on. With everyone leaving early she would have even more quiet time to work through the evening. A knock on her door brought her back into the moment.

“Audrey, are you leaving soon?” asked Janice, one of the policy analysts that worked under Audrey’s direction.

Audrey looked at her watch as if she cared what time it was. “I didn’t realize that it was almost five. I’ll be going in a little while,” she lied.

“A bunch of us decided to go to happy hour and maybe a couple of clubs. Would you like to join us?”

“Sounds fun,” Audrey told the woman who was two or three years her junior, “but I think I’m going to go home and crash. It’s been a long week.”

“I understand,” Janice told her. “If you change you mind, call me. You’ve got my cell number.”

“Yeah, I do,” Audrey agreed. “Thanks for the invitation.”

Audrey watched the younger woman leave and then returned to her work. The whole office was unbelievably quiet although Audrey could here her father in the next office. She was surprised when she heard him come out into the hallway and close his office door.

“Hey,” he called into her office. “It’s time to go. I said everyone out at 5 o'clock, no exceptions.”

“You can make an exception for me, can’t you,” Audrey asked with a smile.

Jim Heller was dead serious. “No, Audrey. No exceptions for you either. You need to go home as much, and maybe more, than everyone else. No, shut down your computer, put away the files and go home. You need to spend some time with Jack. Go get some dinner together or see a movie or something.”

“Well, that would be a little hard since Jack’s on a mission and I don’t know where in the world he is,” Audrey said. The irritation in her voice was obvious.

“I didn’t realize that he was away. When did he leave?”

“Monday. There was a note on the kitchen table when I got home yesterday.”

“I’m sorry, Honey,” Jim said. “Why don’t you and I go out and get some dinner?”

“Thanks for the offer, Dad, but I don’t think I’d be very good company right now.”

Jim sat on the edge of Audrey’s desk. “You two are having some problems aren’t you?”

“Not really,” Audrey said sarcastically. “You really can’t have problems when you’re never home together. When we’re together, we’re fine. It’s just that we’re never together. He’s either working or on a mission.”

“You work more than your fair share of hours, too, Audrey. You can’t put this all on Jack’s shoulders,” Jim said in Jack’s defense.

Audrey looked down like a chastised child. “I know,” she said almost imperceptibly.

“You two need to decide where your priorities lie. If it’s work, then that’s okay as long as you both agree. But if that’s the case, you’ll never have a good relationship. You need to work this out before you go forward with a wedding,” Jim told her as he nudged her engagement ring.

“Yeah, I know that,” Audrey replied again in a barely audible voice. “I screwed up one marriage; I don’t need to screw up another.”

“I didn’t say that,” Jim said gently. “I didn’t even mean to imply that. So home and get some rest, Audrey and decide what it is that you want out of life. Come on. Sitting here isn’t getting out home any sooner. Let’s go.”

Audrey reluctantly followed her father out of the office and out of the building to the garage. He kissed her good bye and reminded her that he loved her before getting in his car. Jim waited until Audrey pulled out of her space and passed him before putting his car into gear and moving out behind her.

It was not even six o'clock when Audrey arrived home. She looked at the clock and wondered what she was going to do with herself. She started off by looking for something to eat for dinner. Since neither she nor Jack had been home all week, there was little in the house. Ice cream was about the most appealing thing she could find, so she settled down in front of the television with a big bowl of rocky road, a glass of cabernet and the remote control.

For the next three hours Audrey tried to find something to do. She channel surfed and tried to read and surfed the internet and paced the house from one end to the other. She couldn’t settle down. All she could think about was what her father had said: You two need to decide where your priorities lie. Audrey didn’t want to think about priorities. She was too hurt and too angry with Jack and too afraid that she was as much to blame as he was.

She finally gave up on any sort of relaxing evening and picked up her phone. Janice answered the phone in a noisy club.

“Hey, it’s Audrey,” she shouted so that Janice could hear her over the din. “Where are you guys? I thought I’d catch up with you and have a couple of drinks.”

“That’s great, Audrey. We’re at Zanzibar. We were going to stay here for a while and then head over to the Boar’s Head Tavern. We’ll stay here until you get here.”

“Great! I’ll be there in half an hour,” Audrey told her.

She quickly dressed in a short, stone colored skirt and a tight salmon pink tank top covered with a denim jacket. Then she touched up her make up and styled her hair to create a slightly messy, sexy look. Audrey checked her look in the mirror and smiled at the reflection. She liked what she saw.

Audrey trotted happily down the stairs and grabbed her bag. She was about to go through the door when she stopped for a second, pulled off her engagement ring and set it on a table near the door. With that, she was off to meet Janice and the other girls.

The Friday night crowd at the bar was thick and noisy and already well on its way to being drunk. As she stepped into the establishment, all Audrey could think about was losing herself in this crowd. She wanted to be one of them, a part of them. She wanted to forget Jack and what was happening at home and revel in the partying.

She stopped at the bar to get a drink and then looked around for her friends. She spotted Janice waving at her from a nearby table and made her way through the crowd nudging her way past several people as she went.

“Good timing,” Janice told her. “We were going to have one more drink here and then head out.”

“Fine with me,” Audrey said agreeably taking a long drink from her gin and tonic.

As the other girls ordered their final drinks, Audrey ordered one, too, despite the fact that she had just started on the first one. The other women exchanged surprised glances. Audrey rarely went out with them, but when she did, she sipped white wine and made sure that someone else could drive her home before she ordered a second. She had always claimed a low tolerance for alcohol. It also didn’t take Janice and the others long to notice that Audrey was no longer sporting the beautiful engagement ring that they had all admired a few months earlier. Most of them knew Jack from when he worked for the Secretary of Defense and they found the Audrey/Jack pairing to be odd at best.

The group of friends left the bar less than a half hour later. In the quiet of the street they discussed where they would go next.

“I thought we were going to the ‘Boar’s Head,’” Alexandra said.

“That place is too stuffy,” Gina noted. “The crowd there is old.”

“What’s that place about a block down from the ‘Boar’s Head’?” Audrey asked. “You know, the one with the dance floor upstairs.”

“Do you mean ‘Riderwood Station’?” Janice asked.

“That’s the one. They play great dance music,” Audrey said.

“It’ll be packed on a Friday night. You won’t be able to breathe on the dance floor,” Cindy said

“That’s the fun of it. With any luck you run into someone cute,” Audrey told them with a saucy lilt to her voice that made the other women exchange glances once again.

“I’m game,” Janice said, feeling the need to please her boss.

Everyone else agreed and the group walked the three blocks to their destination.

It was about 11:30 when Jack’s plane landed at a nearby air base. He said good night to his crew, found his car and headed south. He couldn’t wait to get home and see Audrey. The mission had been a success and he was riding high. As he took the next entrance ramp onto the highway, Jack pulled out his cell phone and called Audrey. Her phone rang unnoticed inside of her purse drowned out by the music that blared across the dance floor at “Riderwood Station”. Audrey had already had her fourth drink in less than 2 hours and was dancing with her friends and several junior partners from a DC law firm. For Audrey, the evening was going better than expected.

Jack was surprised that Audrey didn’t answer her phone, but assumed that she had left it in her briefcase and had gone to bed early. He continued on toward home where he was again surprised to find that her car wasn’t in its usual spot. Once inside, he could tell that she had been home and gone out again. An empty bowl with some melted ice cream and an empty wine glass sat on the table next to Audrey’s favorite chair. In the bedroom, Audrey’s work clothes lay, as if hastily discarded, on the bed. It appeared that Audrey left in a hurry. She was a neat freak and never left dirty dishes or clothes lying around.

Jack tried her cell phone again and, once again, got no answer. Despite the late hour, he decided to call Audrey’s father to see if he knew where she was. Jim was also at a loss, but did remember that some of the girls were going out after work and he suspected that Audrey was with them. That seemed unusual to Jack, but he agreed that maybe Audrey didn’t want to spend Friday evening alone and tagged along with the girls.

Trying hard not to worry about her, Jack showered and changed into lounge clothes and sat down in front of the television. He turned on a sports show to get the latest scores, but hadn’t seen the highlights of more than one game went he fell asleep on the sofa.

Jack didn’t know how long he had been sleeping when he was startled awake by a noise at the front door. He was instantly alert and had almost reached the door when it opened.

“Okay, Audrey, just one more step.” Jack recognized the voice as belonging to Janice Hornsby.

“Janice?” he said as he reached for the door.

“Jack?” she said surprised to see him. “I thought you were away.”

“Well, well, well,” Audrey slurred as she caught sight of Jack. “Look what the cat dragged in.”

Jack ignored Audrey’s drunken attack. “I got back a couple of hours ago,” he explained as he moved his eyes back to Janice after taking stock of Audrey. “What’s going on?”

“She had a little too much to drink,” Janice shrugged feeling very stupid and irresponsible. “I’m sorry. We should have slowed her down, I guess.”

“I can take care of myself!” Audrey insisted. “It’s not up to you to slow me down!”

Jack tried to diffuse the situation. “Thanks for bringing her home, Jan. Do you need a ride back to your place?”

“No, I drove Audrey’s car and Cindy followed us. She’ll take me home,” she said. Janice held out the keys toward Jack but Audrey awkwardly swiped at them. In doing so she lost her balance and began to fall, but Jack was able to catch her.

“Those are my keys, not his!” Audrey said angrily as she tried to pull herself away from Jack.

“Sure, Audrey. Sorry,” Janice said quietly. “I better get going?”

She set the keys on a table near the door next to Audrey’s engagement ring. It was at that moment that Jack saw the ring and realized that it wasn’t on Audrey’s finger, but had been left behind when she went out. The symbolism of it cut him like a knife. He didn’t think that any shot or punch or stab that he had ever received in the course of his work had ever hurt quite as much as seeing that ring so carelessly discarded by the door. He imagined Audrey rushing out of the house in the sexy outfit that she was wearing and hastily pulling the ring from her finger so no one would suspect that she was attached. She would just be another single girl in a bar on Friday night.

Jack closed the door behind Janice and turned to Audrey who was steadying herself against the wall. “Let me help you upstairs,” Jack offered.

“I told you before, I can take care of myself,” she said in a low angry voice.

“Fine,” Jack said raising his hands in front of him in a gesture of defeat. He watched as Audrey walked an unsteady path to the stairs and then stumbled on the bottom step and fell into a heap on the stairs. Jack ran to her. “Let me help you up,” he said gently as he drew her into a standing position. Audrey made no attempt to withdraw; she knew that she couldn’t make the steps on her own.

Jack led Audrey up the stairs and into their bedroom where he sat her down on the bed. He turned his back and went to her dresser where he began rummaging through a drawer to find a night shirt for her.

“What are you doing?” Audrey asked as she tried to focus.

“Finding something for you to sleep in,” he said as he returned to her side with a satin night shirt.

“Cute, Jack,” she said sarcastically. “Let me guess. Now you’re going to undress me and take advantage of the fact that I can’t fight back.”

Jack stared at her angrily. “If you think I’m turned on by your present condition, Audrey, you are completely wrong. A glass of wine makes you sexy; being drunk to the point that you can’t stand on your own is disgusting. And as for taking advantage of you, the legal term for that is ‘rape’ and if you think I would stoop to that, then you don’t know me very well.”

Jack dropped the night shirt on the bed and started out of the room. “You can change clothes or you can sleep in what you’re wearing. I really don’t care.”

He was about to exit the room when he saw Audrey’s face turn ghostly pale. She covered her mouth with her hand, stood quickly and rushed unsteadily toward the bathroom. Jack caught up with her and eased her to the floor next to the toilet. He steadied her and held her hair away from her face while she noisily emptied the contents of her stomach. Even after her stomach was empty, she continued to wretch violently for several minutes. She finally settled down and Jack leaned her against the bath tub. She lay there with her face resting on the cool porcelain thinking that she would only feel better if she died right there.

Jack rinsed a wash cloth in cool water and began to wipe her face. He handed her a glass of water. “Here. Take a sip of this.” Audrey did as she was told, sipping carefully from the glass. Once she kept down several sips of water, Jack helped her brush her teeth. A few minutes later, Audrey was sitting on the bed again and Jack was helping her undress and slip into the night shirt. He tucked her in bed and kissed her forehead like he would have done to his daughter twenty years earlier. Then he reached across her body and took his pillow from his side of the bed.

“Where are you going with that?” Audrey asked. Her voice seemed more sober than it had been just a little while earlier.

“I’ll crash on the couch tonight,” he said softly.

Even with her mind swimming in alcohol, the impact of that statement wasn’t lost on Audrey. Despite their many differences, when they were both home at night, they cuddled tenderly in the middle of the bed. Jack was leaving her bed and her life and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

It was almost 1 o'clock the next afternoon before Audrey dragged herself out of bed and into the shower. She threw on a pair of blue jeans and a tee shirt, raked a comb through her wet hair and slowly descended the stairs. Her head was pounding and every step down seemed to shoot pain up through her neck and into her brain.

Jack was sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch and reading the newspaper. He didn’t look up when Audrey came into the room.

“Morning,” she said softly.

“Afternoon,” he corrected in an equally soft voice.

Audrey looked down, embarrassed nearly to tears. “Jack, I’m sorry.”

“You’ve got nothing to apologize to me for,” he said with a vague shrug.

“Thanks for being here when I got home. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“You’re welcome. By the way,” he said casually as he stood up and reached into his pocket. “I thought you might be looking for this.” Jack reached for Audrey’s hand, turned it palm-side up and pressed her engagement ring into it. He closed her hand around it for effect. “But then again, maybe you weren’t looking for it,” he said as he turned and stepped away.

Audrey wished desperately that a hole would open up in the kitchen floor and swallow her. She didn’t think that she had ever been that embarrassed before. “Jack, let me explain,” she said as she followed him into the next room.

“There’s nothing to explain, Audrey. You were going out with the girls on a Friday night and there were potentially a lot of hot guys who weren’t going to pay any attention to a girl in an engagement ring.”

“Jack, it wasn’t exactly like that. I was angry and upset…”

“Don’t bother trying to explain, Audrey,” his tone was calmer now. “I just wish that you would have come to me and told me. If you want out, all you have to do is say so. “

“Damn it, Jack! I don’t know if I want out. I don’t know what I want. Why do I have to love you so damn much?” Audrey covered her face with her hand. If she thought her head was pounding before this confrontation, she now knew that it was nothing compared to the percussion section beating away on the inside of her skull at the moment. “We’re just not good for each other. No matter how much we try or how much we love one another. We’re not right for each other, are we?”

“No,” Jack said simply. “I love you, Audrey, but I guess deep down, I’ve known for a while now that this wasn’t going to work. I wish it would, but I don’t think there’s any way it can.” Jack pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”

“No, it isn’t, Jack. I’m not sure that it’s anyone’s fault. We’re just not right for each other. My father tried to tell me that when we first got back together. I just wouldn’t listen.”

Jack smiled. “He tried to tell me the same thing. I guess I wasn’t listening either.”

“So what do we do now?”

“It might take me a few days, but I’ll find a place to live. If you want me out right away, I can go to a hotel,” he offered.

“Oh, no, that’s not necessary. Take your time and find a place that you like.”

“Thanks. In the meantime, I’ll move out of your bedroom and use the guest room.”

Audrey nodded silently. Her world was falling apart around her and she didn’t know how to stop it. In point of fact, she wasn’t sure that she wanted to stop it. As painful as this was, it had to happen.

Jack kissed Audrey’s forehead and started out of the room.

“Jack,” she called quietly after him. “More than anything in the world, I want you to be happy.”

“Thank you,” Jack replied. “I feel the same way about you. I wish you every happiness in the world.”

“Thanks,” Audrey whispered as she watched Jack go.

She would miss him. For over a year now she had built her world around him. She would never forget it, any of it: the smiles and the laughter, the tears and the sadness, vacations on the beach and walking in the rain. It was all a part of her now but she would tuck those memories away and make room for new ones.

I know, I know, you wanted a happy ending, but I just couldn’t do it. It was too easy, after starting the chapter with Jack coming back to her, they just couldn’t end up together. So I’m hoping against hope after giving you two sad endings that you might hold out a glimmer of hope for happiness and read the third ending.