|Following Under Pressure
Author: Flowerbudd PM
My dreams for the next episodesRated: Fiction M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,483 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 04-30-06 - Published: 04-25-06 - id: 2912114
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Well…" Finn started. Derek looked at him, stopped and really looked at him for the first time. Handsome, in a woodsy type way, young, he looked younger than Derek. And single.. he guessed he could see the appeal. Damnit, he would have never picked this vet if he had been thinking straight. He'd been so out of it lately. "So when will you be doing Doc's test?" Derek asked abruptly. Finn stopped short, at the cool tone in Derek's voice. He had been very friendly and seemed to be a laid back guy up until now. He was guessing after seeing the looks Meredith and Dr.Shepherd had exchanged, that there was more to their relationship then they let on. He would have to talk to Meredith.
Meredith sat back in her car, and breathed deeply. That was not what she had needed. She was trying to edge Derek out of her life, and move on. All day he had sent her looks and been to close for comfort, she finally got away, and then BAM her whole personal life is thrown to the wind, and that look he had given when he'd seen her with Finn… it had broken her heart. She had hoped that they were both ready to move on. She knew that if Derek hadn't been jealous it would have killed her, and she hated herself for knowing that, but now she had to deal with all of it. And now, to explain to Finn. She was sure he would say something about it, Finn was a very honest person. He spoke whatever he was thinking. They had been dating for a week. She had been taking it very slow though. She liked Finn. Honestly, if Derek didn't exist, Finn would be perfect. She sighed, and started the car, relieved that Derek hadn't come out after her.
Christina was changing out of her scrubs, when Izzy walked in looking like hell. "What's wrong with you?" Christina asked. Izzy debated telling her, after all Christina wasn't a touchy feely kinda gal. "It's Denny, I saw him with a woman today". "Ohhh, so there is something with dying heart patient guy?" Christina asked with a smirk. Izzy sighed, sometimes Christina could be such a smart aleck bitch. Just because she wouldn't get caught in the situation, a little understanding.. seriously! "So you saw Denny's sister I am assuming." Christina interjected into Izzy's thoughts. Izzy looked up, hopeful. "Sister? Really hot brunette?". "That would be Carrie the sister." "Oh Thank GOD! Thanks Christina!" Izzy turned and ran out before Yang could reply. She shrugged her shoulders, slammed her locker shut, and headed out.
Izzy headed to the cardiac unit, feeling much lighter. "Hey" Alex jumped in front of her. "Oh, hey." God, Alex needed to get over it already. She stopped and looked at him. "I was wanting to talk to you Iz". "Alex, don't you think you've talked enough? It was your mouth that started this." Alex tried his most helpless, appealing look. "C'mon Iz, you can't still be mad at me, I'm only looking out for your career here." Izzy drew back, "Alex, one redeeming quality you've always had is honesty, don't blow it now." She stormed past him, leaving him with a hurt look on his face.
Preston and Christina sat at the counter of the deli, eating a quick bite. He had a salad, and she was glorifying in a massive hamburger dripping with all the fixin's. "Christina, I'd hate to think of what your arteries are doing right now." Preston teased her.
"Since my boyfriend is a renowned cardio-thoracic surgeon, I guess it isn't too much of a big deal, he can fix me" she retorted around a mouthful of burger. Preston chuckled. Life was never dull with Christina. He hoped she was going to take his news easier than he suspected she would. "Christina, Before you 'freak' out on me, when I tell you this, I want you to think first." She set her burger down and looked at him curiously. "tell me what?"
"My mother is going to be in town in 2 days." He figured the worse she could do is yell. She bit her lip, deciding to take his advice and think first. Oh my God, meet Burke's mother? What was he doing to her. "Well do say something," he said. What the hell, she shrugged mentally. He'd met her mother and hadn't run screaming. She guessed it was only fair to meet his. "Great Burke, that will be nice." She answered. Preston's eyes widened, "really?" "Sure, it's not like we're getting engaged or anything", she said.
Derek smiled. He really did know Meredith's heart and soul. He knew she would be too upset to go to the nursing home, or her house. The only place she would come after something like the scene they'd just played would be the coast. Meredith had acquired his thing for ferry boats. He watched her, from about 30 feet back. She was leaning on the railing, her hair blowing. She had her eyes closed. He walked towards her slowly, wanting to get to her before she knew he was there. He stood right behind her, and some of her hair blew in his face. He closed his eyes and inhaled. He was glad she still used that same flower conditioner. "Meredith," he said softly. He saw her back stiffen, and her shoulders square. She spun around slowly, and was taken aback by how close he had gotten to her without her knowing. Their faces were about 4 inches apart. He looked at her and smiled. She couldn't help but start to smile back. Derek hadn't been smiling much lately. "You're dating the vet." "I'm dating the vet." She said. "how long?" he asked. She shrugged, "about a week maybe." "So I basically fed you to the vet." Meredith arched her brow. "Well, handed you to him. He's attractive, nice, and single, I shouldn't blame you." "But you do…" she said. He nodded slowly, he did blame her and he hated himself for it. He had no right to be angry about her dating, and he knew that, but he couldn't help it. "Meredith, I know more than anyone that I have no right to expect or demand anything of you. I made a choice, and you owed me nothing from there. Trust me, I know that more than anyone does. It's selfish and childish of me to expect you to remain faithful to me. But I can't help that." He took a breath, she was watching him, listening. "Meredith, I know this sounds impossible, but all this time I have been faithful to you. I stayed with Addison to fulfill an obligation, but I refused to let my heart leave you, all this time. I've only been happy when I could spend time with you and see you. It has been hell being with you and not being able to hold you." He broke off, wanting her to say anything.
"Derek , I'm not dating Finn to make you do this." She didn't know what to say. Derek had never told her he loved her, ever. What was he saying, what did it mean. "I know you aren't Mer, you aren't that kind of person." He wanted to just take her in his arms. He was literally struggling to come up with any words. She was being totally unreactive to his impassioned speech. Derek wasn't one to put his heart and feelings on the line, he was trying here. Meredith saw the sadness in his eyes. She felt like she was being ripped into shreds. "I don't know what to say, " she said finally. Derek hung his head, unable to look at her. Pain surged through him. He looked up, "just say something about what I said Meredith. Anything. I love you, I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you." He put his hand on her face. She was unable to move back, being on the rail. "Derek…." "Meredith listen to me. I don't know what I was doing. I thought all this time you knew how I felt about you, I didn't try to hide it from you. What did I expect to happen from all this? I don't know. I hoped somehow we'd be together one day, but I was beginning to enjoy my misery and righteousness of doing the right thing. Please Meredith, you have every right to be angry, but I'm begging you to think about all this." He looked into her eyes, his hand on her cheek. She took a breath, realizing she had forgotten to for a while. She opened her mouth, not sure what to say. Her heart was doing little flip flops in her chest. She tried to resist leaning her face into his hand more. Before she could make any noise, Derek brought his other hand up , cradling her face in his hands. He leaned in and kissed her. It was like being suffocated, only to have fresh air burst in , and Meredith couldn't stop herself. She placed her hands on his, slowly winding up to his hair. And she kissed him back, shamelessly. She knew it was a mistake, and it was going to make life much harder, but there wasn't will power that could resist this moment. Derek kissed her, feeling his whole body come to life, like it had been sleeping. There couldn't be anything wrong about this, it felt so right