Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, Square Enix does.

Warnings: Bashing for everyone as usual, including the most beloved main characters. Hints of shonen-ai. Some cursings.

konekomh's ramblings:

Big thanks to my dear reviewers to the first version: Angels-Obsession, Verdanii, Frisbeetarian, Burningbridges, florinoir and yllom21 and here comes a second version! Make sure you’re not drinking / eating / doing stunts when you read this! Kitty tried to get this more comical (manga oriented) so I hope this can give you some really hilarious pictures.

Well, well… who would have thought that there is a second version of this tale? Anyway, for some strange reason the first version uploaded didn’t exactly follow my original muse when I was running this through on paper. And now, to do my pencil and paper justice here’s the second version…

Don’t ask why there’re trains and TV’s in a “middle-aged” setting. They’re just there. OK?

Now here we go! (note: 1st scene is the same as v.1 so if you remember what’s going on you might want to skip that)

Fairy tale series number seven and a half
The Frog Prince – FF8 version v.2

by konekomh

Once upon a time in a country far far away, there lived a king who had a very beautiful daughter, so beautiful that the stars would fall at the command of her delicate finger. One poke and a star would fall to catch the eye of the most stunning creature on earth, causing him (unfortunately?) to fall prey to the lovely young lady. Although according to the miserable victim… ahem, excuse me, stoic young man actually, it was sheer coincidence and perhaps luck (on her side) that he was distracted from running away immediately…

Close by the king’s palace lay a great dense forest where the dark haired girl was always playing with her beloved dog. When one day she couldn’t think of some new games to play with her puppy she decided to use her pinwheel. It was her favourite play thing and today she would like to share it with her dog by asking him to fetch it after she’d released trigger. Little did she knew that the canine intentionally let the dangerous looking thing fly into the dense forest without chasing after it at the full speed it would have been able to achieve under other circumstances. And so when the pinwheel finally couldn’t resist the force of gravity it dropped straight into the lake. The king’s daughter followed it with her eyes, but it vanished under the gleaming waters which appeared very deep, so deep that the bottom could not be seen. At this she began to cry, and cried louder and louder, so loud that at last someone said to her, “What ails you, king’s daughter? You’ve woken me from my Romantic Dream TM!”

The girl looked round to the side where the voice came, and saw a frog stretching forth its big head from the water. Strangely enough it didn’t surprise her at all that the frog could talk like a man. “What can you do? I’ve dropped my pinwheel into the water. You’re just…” And she started to wail like no tomorrow again.

“Just shut the fuck up and I can help you get it back!”

The princess immediately shut up with her eyes glistening with all the charm that she could administer.

“But you have to promise me that you’ll make my Romantic Dream come true and bring me back to your place.”

The girl’s head started churning... Romantic Dream? Romantic as in…? Of course he’s dreaming. How can a stupid and ugly frog get married to a beautiful… Oh no! He wants me to marry him? No way! Her eyes started to flood again when the dilemma troubled her very much. On one hand she really wanted to get her pinwheel back but on the other… Wait! He’s just a frog. There’s no way he can manage to follow me back to the palace, right?

“Oh yes,” at long last the princess said, “I promise you your wish, if you will but bring me my pinwheel back again.” Then I’ll run off and will never see you again. Yes! See how clever I am?

Not knowing how the wheels in the girl’s head turned the frog put his head into the water and sank down when he received the promise. In a short while it came swimming up again with the pinwheel in his mouth, and threw it on the grass. The princess was delighted to see her beautiful play thing once more. She immediately picked it up and ran away with it with her dog close behind.

“Hey! Take me with you!” But it did not avail him to scream his croak after her as loudly as he could. She did not listen to it but ran home and soon forgot the poor frog who was forced to go back into his run-down garden again.

The next day the Royal Family had to travel by train to attend an important speech by the president of a neighbouring country. Of course the princess was not to be left alone in the castle given the importance of the function. And the beautiful girl was beyond ecstatic when she could leave for somewhere far away, so that she could forget about the whole horrible encounter with the slimy monster, the memory of which was still haunting her to no ends.

Still totally shaken the king’s daughter clutched the arm of her poor knight who had for some strange reasons fallen asleep sitting beside her. Deep in slumber the beautiful man failed to appreciate the “even-more-beautiful” soft body that was pressing to him insistently.

“I’m scared…”

“zzz…”

“I’m really scared…”

“zzz…”

Biting into her lower lip nervously the princess raised a hand to brush away the silky bangs that covered the eyes of the sleeping beauty. Seeing that she still couldn’t get a response from the young man she started to panic and shook him with all her might with rivers of tears running down her porcelain cheeks.

“I’M VERY SCARED! DID YOU HEAR ME?”

Head rolling like a ragged doll the young knight hissed when he was “accidentally” smashed against the wall. But his torture didn’t end when the princess suddenly became even more agitated when she saw narrowed bluish grey glaring in her direction.

“Oh, thank Hyne! You’re alive! You’re still alive!” Throwing all precautions to the wind the teary-faced princess pulled the confused knight in a big hug so forceful that he swore he wouldn’t still be alive if she didn’t let go within 3 seconds…

The cart of the Royal Family finally stopped in front of a giant TV screen outside of the TV station. It was then they noticed that the president was already about to start his speech as he gave a cheesy smile in front of the camera.

“Hey, we haven’t even arrived yet. How dare he starts without…” The annoyed princess was hushed to silence when her knight raised a finger to his delicious lips. The poor young man was still nursing his abused head as they stood in front of the TV station. The Royal Family had arrived late as a result of some owls deciding to play on the tracks and that caused their train to turn the wrong way… (un)fortunately that also prolonged the knight’s suffe… ahem… lovers’ spat with the dear princess.

“Greetings. Today, I stand before you to make the following proposition. We the people of the world have the power to end all wars.”

A hum of murmurs immediately covered the audience, given no body was aware of any wars that was still running at the moment...

“Unfortunately, there are some trifling problems standing between us and other nations, and they must be resolved.”

The knight’s eyes narrowed and his hand drifted towards his trusted sword when there was some loud noise at the background which the president totally ignored.

“I plan to convene with other nations’ leaders immediately to resolve these problems. At this time, allow me to introduce the ambassador who will be my representative for the conference.”

There was uproar in the background and half the curtain at the president’s back fell off leaving the remaining bits dangling dangerously.

But the experienced speaker continued. “The ambassador is the Sorceress...”

What?

The camera panned towards the side of the stage where some mysterious mist was flowing out from within and it was zooming closer…

and closer…

All of a sudden a soldier flew across the stage with a horrible scream and the giant TV screen was completely filled with the face of a very angry frog which held the president hostage with a moving cockroach dangerously close to his face.

The princess’ face immediately paled and she desperately dragged her family as well as her knight back to the cart. But everyone was way too shocked to move.

“Princess!” The frog roared into the camera with his wet and slimy face sticking to the lens, “You promised! You promised to fulfil my Romantic Dream TM ! How dare you run away! Remember a night ago…”

“Stop!”

Strangely enough the frog did stop his rants as the transmission was cut off.

With a fine brow slightly raised in hidden amusement, the knight turned to face the princess who kept staring wide-eye at the fizzy screen as if she’d seen a ghost.

Then said the king, “My dear, you must perform what you have promised. Go in and get him.”

Knowing that the princess wouldn’t move at all the knight immediately marched into the studio.

“No…” The princess shook her head in denial with tears welling up her large and beautiful eyes. “No… Keep that meanie away from me. I’m not going to marry him!” At that the dark haired angel tripped her knight over and dashed away in one of her elegant moves.

It turned out the frog was taken to the palace anyway by the sorceress that was actually one of the king’s most loyal subordinates. The red hair lady was immensely interested in the amphibian that could talk like a human and she was about to lock him in her quarters when she was stopped by the quiet knight waiting at her door.

A secret (and silent) compromise was reached when the sorceress handed the knight her prize with a maniacal sneer on her face. And to the frog’s surprise, he was the only sane creature that bore witness to the most beautiful smile that had ever existed in the world…

My Romantic Dream ™…

The frog was definitely confused but happy beyond words. The knight was simply treating him too well. Sparring, eating and even sleeping... the young man brought him along wherever he went, despite they kept on arguing over minute matters like the brunette was taking too much time to care for his wild hair or the frog was being too noisy. But all in all, everything was very peaceful until one day…

“I must get away from here. I can’t get married to that hideous monster.” The princess said to herself as she climbed outside the window and moved along the edge in her cat suit. “I’m out of here.” Blinking back her crystal like tears the princess wept as she looked up at the beautiful full moon, “Farewell, my dear knight. I really love you, but I can’t bear the pain of not being able to be close to you when that frog is always in the way. And certainly I can’t get married to that…”

The princess’ scream echoed throughout the palace when she was plucked from the wall by a muscular arm…

“Let me go! I said let me go! Don’t you dare getting me married to that hideous, manipulative monster! I tell you! I’m meant to be married to the Knight.”

The sorceress paused in dragging the princess across the garden and spared the distraught girl an amused look.

“Yes, the Knight that defeated you when he was still a child! Do you hear me! Now put me down before he comes slashing you up!”

Only a huge, cheesy smile that flashed dangerously answered the girl’s bluff and the princess could only be shocked frozen. Cold sweat immediately covered the helpless girl when she saw the glee glistening in those amber eyes. It was even creepier than that slimy frog…

Just as the king’s daughter was about to give up she suddenly spot something from the corner of her eyes. With some unknown strength the princess immediately struggled out from the strong hold of the astonished sorceress and dashed towards the back of her prince charming with a bright smile…

But then her face scrunched up in disgust when she saw the frog lying nearby moon-bathing…

… and the distraction caused her to accidentally push her unprepared knight over the edge of the hanging garden…

What the… Dangling from the side of the garden the fuming knight fought the urge to smack his head in exacerbation. But the sudden yank at his wrist stopped him from making any further movement. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I promise I won’t let go! No matter what…” Pearly tears were pouring over chocolate brown locks as the royal blood choked sadly. “I promise… I won’t let go…”

“You have to let go!” The knight seethed. The princess was holding his wrist real tight and he was certainly in the danger of being pried off if she wouldn’t let go soon.

“No! Even if that means I will fall with you! Let’s us be together forever!” Apparently the over-dramatic girl had misunderstood her poor knight.

Finally losing his patience the knight threw a minor ice spell at the crying lady that inevitably let go of her dear love, who managed to gather some momentum as he swung back with the help of his hidden dagger to land safely back to the garden (and far from the edge as well as the princess).

Kneeling on one knee the brunette could only gawk when he suddenly found the frog jumping into his face with the princess’ gigantic dog dashing closely after.

What the…

Luckily the moment was saved when the sorceress stepped in to collect the mistress and her dog, one in each arm with both being knocked out. The large woman then gave the flustered brunette a big thumbs-up coupled with her patented grin.

Slipping from the smooth pale face the frog landed on his saviour’s chest, “F#$! That beast was trying to eat me alive! If it weren’t for your deal with…”

The frog paused when his eyes caught sight of a mosquito buzzing towards the sweet beauty in front of him. Too late to stop his froggie instincts immediately took over and the creature couldn’t help but lashed its tongue out towards the unsuspecting insect…

But the tongue narrowly missed given the nanosecond of hesitance and the frog breathed a sigh of relief. Yet his moment of peace was short lived…

… as his tongue was attached to the most kissable lips of the most dangerous and beautiful creature in the world…

Time had frozen.

Suddenly bright lights began to glow momentarily blinding everyone.

“What the…” The brown hair knight exclaimed when his sight finally recovered and spotted a familiar golden hair prince grinning like a Cheshire cat in his full glory.

The princess screamed but both men paid no heed to the girl with her eyes sparkling in open admiration.

“Hi.”

“Hey…” The knight was joyful beyond words when his childhood friend helped him up, “Why didn’t you say it earlier?”

“Well… It’s a long story. Want to come to my palace to hear it out?”

“Why not?”

“Great.”

And so everyone lived happily ever after, except for the little princess that was taken away by the sorceress who kept her from fulfilling her final fantasy.

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Owari.
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konekomh's ramblings:

Thanks for reading! And that’s the v.2 of The Frog Prince! Kitty originally wanted to make it into one of those cut-scenes but it appears it becomes a story on its own XD…

Did anyone see some borrowed scenes (other than from the game itself) up there?

How did you find it? Like it? No? Please leave some treats (reviews) upon exit!

Love,
konekomh
July 2006