Never tick off Bambi…

Rating: PG-13/T

Genre: Humor

Summary: While in the woods of Twilight Town with Demyx, Axel learns to respect the woodland creatures… or else.

Author's Note: I was playing Kingdom Hearts (the first one) The other day, and I summoned Bambi. When he started to prance around, I started saying "YEAH! KICK SOME ASS, BAMBI!" and thus, this idea was born.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Hear me? NOTHING!

"Do you like the woods, Axel? Do you? I like them. The trees smell nice. Especially the pine trees." Demyx rambled. The ninth member of Organization XIII seemed to be blatantly unaware that his incessant talking was driving Axel up the wall… or, in this case… trees. With apparently no rhyme or reason, the two Organization members were in the woods of Twilight Town, near the mansion where DiZ, Ansem and Namine lived. "So do you like the woods, Axel? Do ya?"

"I like burning the woods." Came Axel's blunt response. Demyx wrinkled his nose.

"You like burning everything," He mumbled, crossing his arms.

"You bet I do. Got it memorized?" Axel said, pushing a branch out of his face. It had a sling-shot effect, and smashed into Demyx's face. Axel smirked. At least that had shut up the other boy for a minute. But the pleasure was short lived- soon, Demyx was whining about how he got a pine-needle in his eye, and asking Axel to see if it was gone.

"If it was out of your eye, the pain would stop, moron." The pyro growled. "Or have you never gotten an object lodged in your eye-socket before?" Demyx stopped whining for few seconds and stared at the older boy.

"No… Have you?" Axel stopped and blinked.

"No… But it's what I assume." He said.

"Well how can you know if it's never happened to you before?"

"I just assume! I mean, the source of the pain is gone then there should be no pain!"

"But what about when you get a knife stuck in your arm? When you pull the knife out, your arm still hurts, doesn't it?"

"Well, yes, but that's different!"

"How so?"

"IT'S A KNIFE IN THE ARM, NOT A PINE NEEDLE IN YOUR EYE!"

Suddenly, they both stopped. Demyx, finally realizing that the pine needle was gone, blinked. "Aw… Look at the little deer!" He crooned. Axel rolled his eyes in disgust. Indeed, up ahead, there was a baby deer in a clearing. It was white and light brown, and had large, mahogany eyes. It was indeed an "Awwwww" inducing sight (A/N: (Slams head on desk) Bad pun, very, very bad pun…). "Squee! I wanna pet it!" Demyx squealed. Axel felt physically ill.

"You've got to be kidding me," He growled. But Demyx was far from kidding. He very, very quietly walked up to the baby deer, who by now had noticed the two Organization members. The deer stiffened when he saw Demyx approaching, but relaxed when Demyx began to stroke his head.

"Squee! You're so soft!" He crooned to the little deer, ignoring the retching sounds Axel was making in the background. "Gimmee a cuddle!" Now Axel actually began to throw up when he saw Demyx give the little deer a hug around the neck. "Oh shut up! You just can't appreciate the adorable-ness of a baby deer!" The Melodious Nocturne snapped. The baby deer let out a confused squeak.

The Flurry of Dancing Flames rolled his eyes again and stomped over, glaring at Demyx. "I don't HAVE to appreciate the friggin' "adorable-ness" of a friggin' baby deer. I could give a damn less about the friggin' deer!" Demyx glared at him, but then he caught sight of something a bit more concerning out of the corner of his eye.

"Uh… Axel…" He whispered. But Axel paid no attention.

"Who gives a friggin' care about those damn stupid creatures? They have brains the size of walnuts anyway!"

"Uh, Axel, I think you should-" Demyx tried to point out.

"Quit interrupting me! And it's not like this thing can bite me or anything. He's a leaf-eater, isn't he?"

"Well, yes, he's a herbivore, but Axel-" Demyx's tone was quite urgent now, and Axel finally got sick of being interrupted.

"WHAT IS IT, MORON?" He barked. Very, very carefully, Demyx pointed to something over Axel's shoulder. Axel let out a raw laugh and crossed his arms. "Don't tell me. There's a big scary monster behind me, right?" Demyx shook his head.

"No… I think it's this little guy's dad." He said, pointing to the baby deer. Axel's eyes narrowed, and he promptly turned around. He was met with a pair of glowing, angry eyes… And a pair of very, very large antlers. Axel's eyes widened.

"Eep."

The forest was filled with loud, crashing noises and screams of pain. Demyx and the baby deer winced as Axel was thrown to and fro by a very large buck (or male deer). Demyx sighed and turned to the little deer with a shrug. "Well," He said. "I can't say I didn't try to warn him." The little deer made an agreeable squeaking noise.

And that, friends, is why you do not tick off Bambi… or his Dad.