Betrayal; let's face it, Terra did a horrible thing. She betrayed those who were her friends and lied to the boy who loved her.

But Beast Boy was pretty cruel himself. As she had been about to tell him, he had sworn to be her friend no matter what. But then, when she shakily reminds him of that promise later in the House of Mirrors, he turns his back on her and walks away.

What does he say?

"You don't have any friends."

;( Ouch…

How would Beast Boy have felt after saying that, I wonder? Pretty terrible, no doubt, because by Aftershock Pt 1 we can see that he didn't really mean it.

Here, then, I offer this; the fourth and final part of Four Shades of Green.

But before I do that, I wish to offer a HUGE thankyou to everyone who gave me each of the ten reviews this has received. Now ten reviews… that's not brilliant… especially compared to the 18 reviews my newest mini multi-chapter thing, Lace and Leather (RobinxRaven) has gotten for only one chapter… But it's more than I expected this to get, soooo… Thankyou to; somebody who called themselves "Your mom", implying my "mom", I think…; Red Phoenix Star; Sadista; Quinn and His Quill; Toffy; Pxleno52; and Narroch06, the best (and biggest) BB fan I know…

I hope you all enjoy the final part.

Four Shades of Green

IV – Wake Me Up When September Ends

Beast Boy's Point of View:

Why couldn't I have saved her?

I would have—

Reached for her. Held her hand… I don't know! Made it easier, helped her…

Didn't she… want my help?

Was she – is she – beyond help?

Oh, god… Terra—

I can't hold it back. Not tears, but…

Even my whirlwind of thoughts are cut short as my insides suddenly heave and I drop to my knees and puke all over her floor. It feels good, it stops the thoughts, I don't have to think—

So then I scream. I scream so I don't have to hear the thoughts. So I can't hear the questions in my head. It doesn't make it better, but it makes it stop…

And then I stop and draw a shaking breath, and I get to my feet; and I clench my fists and grit my teeth to stop myself from screaming again I look around her room.

Broken.

Him.

His army left nothing salvageable; at least not in here. The curtains are torn and on the floor. The walls are scratched, filthy, burned. The windows are smashed, shards of glass glinting all over the floor. All of her things are on the floor too; her clothes ripped and charred, her chest of drawers overturned, her bed-covers thrown off…

It's not okay. It's not okay…

I thrown myself on her bed, face-first, like a toddler having a tantrum, and I scream again. But it's muffled this time, lost in her torn mattress. Then I sob; I cry until my throat hurts, until my eyes are dry and ache, until I can barely breathe.

I don't want them to see me this way. This isn't Beast Boy.

This is…

Logan. Garfield Logan.

Here, it's okay…

No.

It's not okay. It will never be okay…

Because she's gone. Terra. She left us; she left me. She betrayed us. Betrayed our trust; and betrayed our love.

At least that's what I thought it was…

("The girl you knew was merely an illusion. A fantasy. In reality, she's been working for me…")

His words haunt me. Her face haunts me. It's all there, in my head, and it hurts so much…

We tried to save her. We tried to help her. And for a while we thought she was actually one of us…

("So it was all a game? You were just pretending?…")

Was it all a game? Was it a lie?

And she had said no. Confused. Frightened. I asked her why and she said she didn't know…

("I don't know, okay? I don't know…")

Why? Why did she do it? Why did she let it happen? Because she was afraid? Did she think it would all go away if she just pretended it wasn't happening? I thought I understood her but I didn't—

I clearly didn't.

Green.

Color of me. But it's the color of other things too. Precious stones and plants and—

Greenhorn. Rookie. Beginner. She was new at this; new at the control she suddenly had.

Something he gave her.

I can't stand it…

Him. Slade. Robin's always hated him and now I hate him too. Because he took her away. He corrupted her, made her think… that she owed him…

Made her think that he had more to offer than us. Than me.

I gave her love. He gave her control.

Easy to see which she valued more.

I need to puke again; but it hurts to heave. And there's nothing there.

I just want to get rid of the pain; and the anger; and the… guilt…

("Slade was right. You don't have any friends…")

I think now. I think of what I said to her and the look on her face. The way her hand dropped as she was reaching for my shoulder. How I turned away from her; right at her most desperate. I think now and I feel so crazy and I—

Scream. Again. A third and final time. Into the mattress. It doesn't help. It hurts, it hurts so much…

How could I have said that? How? If I had held out my hand to her… would it all be different? Would she have come with me? Come home? I know what she did was wrong, but…

Would she still have gone with him, if only I hadn't turned away?

That hurts so much more…

September. The end of summer. When the long light begins to die and with it so does all that is green.

When all begins to spiral into the darkness – the bleakness – that is winter.

I think of that old song – The September Years – and the tears come again.

Outside the door, I hear them. Soft and sad. I can't hear exactly what they're saying but I know they're there.

Cyborg. Then Starfire. Then… Raven. And then Robin.

Then again, in that order; they sound weary. And they sound angry.

I catch Robin's words now, just as he finishes.

"It doesn't matter…"

It doesn't matter?

Oh, it does matter, Robin; more than you can ever know…

Because it hurts so.

And it's pain that I don't know if I can stand to suffer.

Terra.

I think of her and I—

Curl up. Withdraw. Try to numb the aching pain I know I can't.

Let them talk. Let them bitch. Let them say "I told you so"…

It's not okay.

Just wake me up when September ends.

And I know I was kinda going backwards there… Well, the Terra P.O.V chapter – Boulevard of Broken Dreams – was basically the part from the beginning of Aftershock Pt I and yet this – the final chapter – from BB's P.O.V is actually sort of the part from the end of Betrayal where BB is curled up on Terra's bed, etc. But I guess you could say those bits run parallel, because you don't see anything of Terra and Slade after the part where they walk away in the House of Mirrors. Those episodes would actually link a whole lot better if WB hadn't decided to slap Fractured in the middle of a serious story-arc…

So, yeah… the time-sequence is kinda out…

But I was sort of stuck doing that part too because I didn't want to do BB at Terra's "grave" or statue or whatever… because I have already done it. Remember me mentioning that other BBxTerra piece I did, Ends of the Earth, based around Rupert Brooke's poem The Beginning? That's pretty much what that was; BB standing at Terra's stone form and rambling to himself in first-person… So I didn't want to be doing that again, especially considering it wasn't very popular…

Otherwise, I hope you liked it! If you didn't… I don't know why you read all four chapters, but don't worry, because it is over…

Roll on the slash and demonic possession…

- RobinRocks xXx