Author: Meteoricshipyards PM
7 year old Luna wants a husband, and she wants one now. With the unintended help of her befuddled father, she kidnaps Harry Potter. Idea and 1st chapter by Roscharch's BlotRated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Harry P. & Luna L. - Chapters: 21 - Words: 195,952 - Reviews: 1,840 - Favs: 2,792 - Follows: 1,398 - Updated: 01-14-08 - Published: 05-02-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2919503
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Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. JKR owns Harry Potter. I am not rich like JKR. I am not worth suing. Please believe me.
Note: This chapter was written by Rorschach's Blot. Read his other stories, they are funny, silly, entertaining, and well written. He gave me permission to continue after this chapter, and the Muse grabbed me around the neck, and forced me to write. And Thanks to Hermione Green who beta'ed this.
Chapter 1 The New Husband
By Rorschach's Blot
"Tell me about Harry Potter," Luna demanded.
"He's a very brave and intelligent young boy," Luna's mother replied. "And he's the one that saved us all from the dark lord."
"Do you think he'd make a good husband mummy?" Luna asked innocently. In the short time that she had been alive, Luna had focused on her parent's relationship and had come to the conclusion that she wanted one of her own.
"Of course he would dear," Luna's mother assured her daughter. "And maybe he'll become your husband when you get older. I have to go to work now, bye hun."
"Bye mummy," Luna replied automatically. The young girl watched her mother leave and contemplated the words that she'd just been told. "When I'm older? Bugger that, I'm going to go get Harry right now so we can live happily ever after."
Her course set, Luna immediately set to work in accomplishing her goals. A quick visit to her parent's room located a broom and an old invisibility cloak (Her father said it was needed to hunt Mimbari) and she was almost ready to go get her soon to be husband. There was only one problem, she didn't know where Harry Potter was.
"Bugger," Luna cursed. It annoyed her mother and would get her father into trouble so she did it every chance she got. A few more minutes of thought gave her the solution for her dilemma and Luna went off in search of her father.
"Hello rutabaga," Luna's called her his pet name for . . . her. "What can I do for you?"
"I need to find something father," Luna replied quietly. "Can I borrow your multi purpose detector?"
"Ok carrot." The man shrugged, it wasn't like she could get into any trouble with it.
"Thank you father," Luna said quietly. Inside she was jumping for joy, she'd soon have her husband.
Luna went back to her room and donned the invisibility cloak and mounted her broom . . .and nothing happened. Growling in exasperation, the little girl went off in search of her father again.
"Hello again cabbage," Luna's father said when he noticed his daughter. "Do you want me to make you some lunch?"
"No father." Luna shook her head, how was she going to do this without him being suspicious? "I just wanted to know how a broom worked."
"It's not so that I can use it to fly out to find Harry Porter," Luna replied immediately.
"Well . . . as long as you're not going to go out and find Harry Porter," Luna's father agreed. "Hold your hand above it and say 'up' in a firm voice."
"Thank you father." Luna gave the man a peck on the cheek and returned to her room.
Luna was ecstatic, the broom worked and she was on her way to formalize her marriage. It took nearly two hours of flying before Luna managed to find Harry Potter and when she did, she was shocked at his condition.
"Hello," Luna greeted the young boy. "Is your name Harry Potter?"
"Yes," the boy replied nervously.
"Do you want to go home with me and be my husband?"
"Away from here?" Harry perked up.
"Yup," Luna agreed.
"Luna," her father looked down at the two children. "Who's this boy."
"He's my new husband daddy," Luna smiled up at her father.
"Does your mother know about this?" Luna's father scratched his chin, he was sure that his daughter's marriage was something he'd remember. . . on the other hand, he had probably been drinking to celebrate so . . . .
"No daddy," Luna shook her head. "She hasn't gotten home yet."
"I'll tell her then," Luna's father offered. It was the responsible thing to do after all.
"Ok," Luna gave another cute smile and then went back to playing with her new friend.
"Wait a minute." Luna's father froze in his tracks, "what are you trying to pull here Luna?"
"Um . . ."
"You haven't eaten lunch," Luna's father finished. "If you think that I'm going to allow you to skip meals then you have another thing coming."
"Ok father," Luna agreed. "Can you make my husband some food too?"
"Of course my little crabapple."
"Dear?" Luna's mother had returned home to find her daughter playing with a strange boy and had approached her husband to get an explanation. "Who is that strange boy playing with our daughter?"
"Hmmm?" Luna's father blinked, "oh that's her new husband. I think I drank too much at the wedding and forgot the wedding, I promised Luna that I'd tell you about it."
"I see." It was times like this that she wondered why she married him. "When are his parents coming over to get him?"
"Parents?" Luna's father scratched his chin, "I think Luna said that he was going to live with us. I don't recall anything about any parents."
"Ok." Luna's mother ground her teeth, "who dropped him off?"
"Dropped him off?" Luna's father thought hard for a minute, "no one. He just appeared."
"So what you're telling me is that some strange boy wandered into the house?"
"I'm not saying that at all," Luna's father disagreed. "Luna brought him."
"Luna . . . Honey, could you come in here for a minute." Luna's mother called out, she was going to get to the bottom of things. Luckily her daughter had inherited some common sense . . . from her side of the family.
"What is it mummy?" Luna asked innocently.
"Where did that boy come from?"
"I brought him here mummy," Luna replied quickly.
Now we were getting somewhere, "where did you find him?"
"In a garden doing yard work," Luna said.
"What's his name?" Luna's mother grinned.
"We haven't decided yet mummy," Luna said to her mother's displeasure.
"What do you mean honey?" But the woman wasn't going to let it show.
"You said that after you get married then you have to decide what last name to keep, remember mummy." Luna reminded her mother. "He's my husband now mummy so we have to decide our new name."
"Ok . . . ok . . . what was his old name darling?"
"Harry Potter mummy," Luna answered. "You said that he'd make a good husband."
"Why don't you step out of the room while have a talk with your father about how you were able to go out and track down Harry Potter and then bring him back here when your father was supposed to be watching you . . . ok hun?"
"Ok mummy," Luna agreed.