|The Xmen Present Ever After
Author: LadyKayaAndDuchessTea PM
It's Ever After, Xmen style! Employed by mutant directors, Kaya and Tea, the cast of Xmen Evolution find themselves right in the middle of a remake of the classic love story.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Parody - Rogue/Anna Marie & Gambit/Remy L. - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,210 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 07-16-06 - Published: 05-04-06 - id: 2922741
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Lady Kaya and Duchess Tea proudly present…
The X-men in a parody of…
The classic story…
Based on the traditional fairy tale…
Of true love and Magic…
Of evil and stepsisters…
Let the casting begin….
"Good morning gracious X-men!" Kaya announced as she flounced into the room in a full floaty skirt and a top that looked like it had been pulled right from the fourteenth century, only without the holes and dirt.
"Uhhh, why is she talking like that?" Evan asked, scratching his head.
"She always talks like that," Tea said helpfully as she slouched in, dressed all in black. This unhelpful comment earns her a glare from her sister.
"I am merely getting into character," Kaya said, defending herself.
"No, you just always talk like that, and you don't even have a character," Tea said with a slightly evil grin.
"A-hem," Kaya cleared her throat, trying not to let herself get annoyed. "Welcome to our casting session!"
The entire cast groaned.
"Like, totally not you guys too!" Kitty protested.
"Yes, us too," Kaya said happily. "But you really are going to love this one."
"You mean Ah don't have to wear a stupid dress?" Rogue asked hopefully.
"And I can be someone with a decent part for once?" Jean asked.
"As if!" Rogue and Wanda said in unison.
"And I can be the lead male?" Scott asked hopefully
"Uhh…that would be a no for all three," Kaya answered quietly. "But you're going to love the rest of it! Really!"
"It's… Ever After!" Tea announced with more than a little sarcasm.
The entire cast slapped their hands against their foreheads.
"How is it we always get lumbered with the crazy directors?" Tabby asked, scowling.
"I am not crazy!" Kaya said, her hair flaring out as she began to levitate about a foot off the ground.
"As if," Tea grumbled, 'porting up to Kaya, taking her by the arm and 'porting her back down to ground level. Having landed, Kaya took a deep breath, and appeared completely calm again.
"Is she okay?" Bobby asked cautiously.
"I'm fine," Kaya said calmly.
"She's fine," Tea said, nodding. "She does that a lot."
"Ah love a woman wit a temper," Remy said happily.
"Why thank you," Kaya said sweetly. This exchange earned them plenty of glares from the resident Goth. Tea however is simply glaring at Kaya for flirting with a guy.
"She's also always doing that," Tea mumbled.
"Is anyone else worried about working for mutant directors?" Scott asked quietly.
"Yes," replied the entire cast.
"Hey try working with mutant actors," Tea said, nodding over to Pyro, who is staring into the fireplace, happy images running through his head.
Kaya looked at John, shook her head, and then spoke up again "On with the casting! The part of Danielle goes to……"
"Please be me, please be me," Jean mutters under her breath.
"Please not meh, please not meh," Rogue prays.
"Rogue!" Kaya announced happily. As the announcement was made, Tea 'ported over to Rogue, handing her a much dreaded script. "But we'll be using your 'real' name for the play, Anna. But we'll call you Marie for when you are pretending to be Nicole De Lancret."
"The part of Prince Charming, AKA Henry goes to…Remy!" Kaya said as Tea 'ported over and gave him a script.
"Together again then, chere?" Remy asked, looking over at Rogue.
"He ain't no prince," she huffs.
"But Ah am charmin', no?"
"Uh-huh," Kaya said, nodding dreamily. Tea 'ported back over and poked Kaya out of her trance. "Right, and the part of the evil stepmother, Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent goes to Mystique."
"Got that right," Rogue said, earning her a glare from Kurt.
"I think I'm getting type-cast in all these plays," Mystique muttered.
"The stepsister Marguerite will be played by Jean," Kaya said as Jean received her version of the script via teleportation. Rogue couldn't help but fall about laughing.
"I'm going to protest now," Jean said angrily.
"Don't," Kaya and Tea said together.
"I never get a decent part!" Jean said, carrying on regardless.
"That's because all of these plays are Romy stories!" Kaya said, trying not to loose her temper and levitate again.
"Sad, but true," Tea agreed.
"Hey!" Kaya and Remy said together. Rogue was nodding in agreement with Tea even though she was protesting in her mind. Hey, a girl has to keep her image, right?
"I still want a decent part," Jean whined.
"Maybe next time," Kaya said comfortingly.
"Maybe not," Tea said, earning her several more glares.
"Moving swiftly onwards," Kaya began again.
"Uhhh….we're not moving anywhere," Evan pointed out.
"It's an expression!" Tea growled as she 'ported in front of Evan, "We're English, so sue us!"
Kaya shook her head, and lifted her hand, raising Tea up with her telekinesis and putting her sister back down next to herself, while Tea glared at her big sister.
"Is she okay?" Ray asked tentatively.
"She's fine," Kaya said calmly. "She does that a lot."
"Oh joy, we have crazy mutant schizophrenic directors!" Hank said. "On the plus side, they do come from Shakespeare's country."
"Aye, good sir, that we do," Kaya replied in the odd old-fashioned voice. "Indeed we were born not fifty miles from the Great Bard's own birthplace!"
Hank nods approvingly, happy to finally know someone else who can speak in Shakespearian English.
"Poor girl," Tea said, shaking her head. The rest of the cast looks at her, wonderingly. "She had to sit through an English A-level," Tea said, as though that explained everything, and the cast nodded sympathetically.
"Back to the casting," Kaya said, shuddering as the memories of English lessons flooded through her mind. "The stepsister Jacqueline will be played by Kitty."
"Hey, I'm like, so totally not just in it for the food!" Kitty shouted in protest.
"Do not worry, Katya," Piotr said comfortingly. "I am sure they do not mean it to be taken like that."
"Which means of course that Piotr will get to play Captain Laurent," Kaya said as Kitty and Piotr gazed happily into each other's eyes. She glances to Tea, who, amazing, stands there with that same look on her face.
"Oh, my, God! You like that pairing that much?" Kaya asked, staring wide-eyed at her sister.
"Huh?" Tea asked, suddenly snapped out of her daze.
"Well, that pretty much answers that question. They are kinda sweet though," Kaya said, before flicking back to the cast list. "King Francis will be played by Logan."
"Finally, a half decent part," Logan huffed, crossing his arms. "That an' I get to yell a whole lot at Spice Boy over there."
Tea and Kaya burst out into laugher at the English pop culture reference, while the rest of the cast look completely bemused.
"You wouldn't have happened to be in England in the mid nineties, were you?" Kaya asked in-between giggles.
"I…can't remember," Logan murmured.
"By the sounds of it, you were!" Kaya said happily. "Ororo gets to play Queen Marie of France."
"And what about us, yo?" Toad asked, bouncing up and down just so he could be seen since he was standing behind Freddy.
"Ummmm," Kaya mumbled, flipping through the casting pages on her clipboard. "The Brotherhood have been cast as…." This time there is a pause not for dramatic effect, but because Kaya really can't think who they are.
"Party guests!" Tea exclaimed, "Cause we really need party guests." She said, winking at Kaya.
"Right, yes, Party Guests!" Kaya explained, trying so hard to convince them that was the idea all along.
"Party guests?" Wanda repeated in disbelief. "You forgot about us, didn't you? Just like my FATHER!" With the last word, Wanda threw a hex directly at them, but Kaya raised a hand and sent the hex crashing into the opposite wall, which promptly turned into cobwebs due to the hexing power.
"And just for that," Tea said, "You can be the princess who has to marry the prince!"
"And just for that, I'll kill you!" Wanda shouted, throwing another hex at them. The rest of the cast ducks, but Kaya again only throws out a hand and stops the blue energy in mid air, but not before Tea 'ports out of the way, just in case Kaya didn't stop it. Kaya sent the energy into the wall again, causing the cobwebs and spiders that were there before to shrink and drop down.
Wanda scowls at both of the sisters, still dumbfounded as to how Kaya can actually stop the hexes.
"How do you do that?" Jean asked quietly. "I can't stop them."
"Ah think she's just better than ya, Jean," Rogue said.
"She's just always thinking about at least three things at once is all," Tea stated matter-of-factly.
"A woman who's got a temper and intelligence! 'Ave Ah even mentioned how much Ah like that?" Remy said, smiling at Kaya, obviously flirting.
"Which must mean she's better than you" Jean muttered to Rogue, still sore at losing out on the female lead. Rogue scowled in reply, before serving a retort.
"Well, Ah've got ta be better than you, since Ah'm always getting the lead parts in these plays."
Jean sent pleading eyes in Scott's direction, but he merely shrugged again. He was not going to get caught up in another quarrel. Besides, all the contenders were powerful mutants. Even fearless leaders aren't that fearless. Or stupid.
"Back to casting," Kaya said again, rather loudly. "Ahh, yes, here you are! Pietro will play Pierre Le Pieu, Lance will play the leader of the gypsies, Toad will play the page who spies on the royal court for Raven, and Freddy will play the man who drives the cart with all the doomed men in it. And, as Tea said, Wanda will play Princess Gabriella.
"Now, who else is there?" Kaya asked herself, flicking through the papers again. "Ah, yes, Kurt will be Gustave; Tabitha and Amara will be the maids Paulette and Louise respectively, with Bobby playing Maurice. Ray and Sam will be Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm. Magneto gets to be Auguste De Barbarac, while Xavier will be Leonardo Da Vinci. Rahne will be playing the Grand Dame."
All the cast members groan or are simply thankful that they didn't get too bad a part.
"And that's about it," Kaya said, taking a deep breath, while the uncasted breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry to all those who didn't get parts. Shooting will begin tomorrow morning!"
And with that, all the cast troop off, with Rogue still glaring at Remy for some remark that he made.
"Well, I think that went well," Kaya said brightly to Tea.
In reply, Tea simply rolled her eyes, and 'ported out.
"Yep, that about sums it up," Kaya said with a shrug.