Chapter 4. School is no place for Horsing around!

The next morning, Ranma lay in his bed, unmoving. The battle with the master of anything goes martial arts the night before had really taken a lot out of him, and he was trying to regain his energy. Unfortunately for the pigtailed boy, there was someone who was bound and determined to wake him up.

After calling his name several times, shaking his shoulder AND jumping on him, Ranko was getting low on ideas to wake her elder brother. Then, a sure-fire strategy came to her. Walking to the bathroom, the little girl filled a glass with cold liquid and came back to her brother’s bedroom, throwing it over the sleeper.

“Ack! What’d ya do that for?” Ranma yelled indignantly, as she jumped out of bed.

“To wake you up.” Ranko said, with a look on her face that said “I’m too cute to be mad at.”

Sighing, Ranma took a feigned swing at her little sister before getting out of bed. “Mom wants me down stairs?” She asked, walking over to her dresser and rummaging through it for another set of clothes. She managed to find a black T-shirt and pair of jeans, and put them on. “I gotta get some more clothes.” She muttered, closing the drawer which was still mostly full of school clothes.

Walking down to the kitchen table, Ranma noticed her father sitting there, reading a paper like she usually saw Mr. Tendo doing. “Hey pop.” She said, sitting down next to him.

Genma lowered his paper, blinked slowly at the red haired girl and then recognition came to him. “Boy? Why are you in that weak female form?”

From the stove, Ranma could hear a sound similar to grinding teeth. Looking over, she saw Nodoka trying to look cheerful as she stirred a pot of soup. Smashing a fist into the top of her father’s head, she said, “Ranko decided to wake me up with a glass of cold water, old man.” Then, she smirked evilly. “Besides, don’t you remember me beatin the crap outta you two days ago, or do I have to do it again?”

Genma just disintegrated into incoherent angry muttering as he went back to reading his paper.

“Here you go Ranma.” Ranko said, as she had filled a warm glass of water from the sink. Handing it to her older sister, she sat down next to her as she waited for food.

“Hey Mom. Can I get some money to pick up clothes tomorrow?” Ranma asked, after pouring the cup of water over his head.

“Why do you need new clothes, son?” Nodoka asked, Looking up from her breakfast preparation for a moment.

“Most of the stuff in my dresser don’t fit me, and school uniforms are kinda hard to wair with my curse.” Ranma explained.

“I suppose that will be all right. Don’t spend too much. Genma has been using a rather large amount of the house’s finances recently.” Nodoka said, levelling a glare at the newspaper that her husband was hidden behind.

“Sure thing mom.” Ranma said, as Nodoka set bowls of soup down for herself, Ranma, Genma and Ranko.

After they had eaten breakfast, Ranma and Ranko ran off to school and Nodoka closed the door behind them. “So Husband, what were you and Tendo san discussing last night?” She asked, curiously.

“We were talking about attempting to unite the schools again, No-Chan.” Genma said, lowering his newspaper.

Nodoka frowned. “Genma, you know what happened last time. I don’t want Ranma beaten by that Akane girl again.”

“Relax. He won’t be engaged to her. I was considering her older sister, Nabiki.” Genma explained, taking a sip of a cup of coffee that Nodoka had brought him.

“But what of his recent… change?” Nodoka asked, worried. “I know that the Tendo agreement is a matter of family Honour and that we must do all that we can to fulfill it, but Ranma hasn’t settled down from that yet.”

“Don’t worry Nodoka. He’ll be fine. He’s a strong boy after all, Now more than ever.” Genma said, trying to look wise and comforting to his wife at the same time. The effect was actually pretty good, accept for the coffee stain on the front of the white Gi he wore, despite the fact that he hadn’t trained in several years.

Nodoka sighed. “I hope so Husband.” She said, walking out of the kitchen for the living room, to begin cleaning the house. Genma exploded into a large grin the second his wife had left the room. He had done it, he had convinced her. Then again, Nodoka wasn’t really all that hard to convince in matters like this. All he had to do was bring out the family honour and she would agree, so long as the promise WAS actually dealing with the family. He remembered one incident where he tried to use the family honour card involving an engagement for Ranma of which she had known nothing, the Kuonji agreement to be exact, and she had sliced his Gi off with her Katana, never touching the skin. To this day, he didn’t know how she had done that. She wasn’t a terribly good sword fighter, after all.

HR

On their way to school, Ranma looked up at the fence top and over at his little sister. To his amusement, she was wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt today. “You ready for the fence walking again?” Ranma asked, pointing at the medium that he usually used for transport to school, when he wasn’t running late, that is.

The girl nodded eagerly, and Ranma jumped up to the fence top and helped her up. The two began walking down the fence again, as they had the day before, and Ranko gradually got better and better at it. True, sudden movements still made her wobble unstably, but she always managed to regain her balance with little help from her brother. As the two passed by a store with clocks in it’s window, Ranma cursed.

“Oh crap. We’re late!” He said, surprising the heck out of Ranko by grabbing her up in his arms and jumping off of the fence.

“What the heck are you doin!” Ranko demanded, as Ranma jumped up to a roof and began to run. After a few minutes of terrified flailing of her arms, Ranko began to calm down. Ranma’s grip had never wavered around her, and although they were running insanely quickly over the tops of buildings, Ranma seemed perfectly steady on his feet.

As Ranma landed in front of Ranko’s school and put her down, she turned around and yelled “Don’t ever do that without warnin me again!”

Ranma scratched his neck sheepishly. “Sorry about that, Ranko. I’ll remember ta worn ya next time.”

The girl turned, pretending to be annoyed with her brother still even if that had been the most fun ride she had had in a good long while. Walking into the school yard, she grinned back to him in order to show that she was just playing around.

“Ranko, what in the world’s going on with you?” One of her friends asked, as she walked up to the grinning redhead. “You seem really, really happy today and you’ve had to come to school with that jerk of a brother of yours for the last three days!”

Ranko just smirked slightly. “That…” She said, having watched far too much slayers recently, “is a secret.”

As was warranted in this type of a situation, the friend, and some others who had gathered around to hear the discussion, face faulted. Ranko’s happy smirk just grew bigger as she walked into the school. (1)

HR

At Furinkan high, Nabiki Tendo waited at the school gates for a pigtailed person to come along. To her surprise, she saw him walking confidently… on the school wall. “Hello Saotome, interesting method of transportation you have there.” She said, dryly.

“I like it.” Ranma responded, shrugging. “So what’s up?”

“I just figured I’d give you a heads up on something.” Nabiki said, shrugging. “Daddy and your father are planning something.”

“Oh great. What is it this time?” Ranma asked, groaning. “They decided to engage me to one of ya or something? No, wait. They’ve apparently already tried that twice, right?” He asked, looking at Nabiki questioningly.

The middle Tendo smirked. “That’s all I’m going to tell you, Saotome. Unless you have some yen, of course.”

Ranma fished around in his pockets. ‘Damn. Nothin.’ He thought, before shaking his head.

“Well, I guess it’ll be a surprise.” Nabiki said, before walking into the school with a smirk on her lips. Ranma’s response to her news had been informative. The resigned and dismayed look that he had gotten was far different than the rather strange smile that he had worn the last time she had told him something similar and he had guessed at an engagement. This was interesting. As she got to the door, Nabiki saw upperclassman Kuno walk out of the school with his Bokken. Apparently, he hadn’t taken part in any hentai horde activity this morning. She wondered why, and stayed at the entrance to watch.

Kuno strode forward, stopping in front of Ranma and raising his sword. “Halt you foul demon!” He said, putting his sword in a defensive position, horizontal at chest level.

“Wadda you want, Kuno?” Ranma asked, looking annoyed.

“I demand you release the honourable Ranma Saotome so that he may continue his holy pursuit of the fair Akane!” Kuno said, pointing at Ranma.

Ranma nearly choked. Had KUNO just called him Honourable? “I can’t release myself, bokken for brains.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Enough!” Kuno yelled, charging at Ranma. With lightning fast sword swings, Kuno tried to hit his elusive target, but Ranma was too fast. For a second, Kuno thought he felt something on his forehead, but dismissed it. After this strange sensation had come, Ranma lashed out with a foot and hit Kuno in the chest, sending him rocketing into a wall. The blue thunder of Furinkan twitched spastically, falling to the ground in a twitching mass of pain.

Nabiki raised an eyebrow as she walked over to Kuno, prepared to take him to the nurses office as she did every morning that he fought with Akane. As she rolled him over, she fought to restrain a giggle but it came out anyways. Written in slowly forming bruises on Kuno’s forehead was the word “Reject.” “Saotome, you certainly have a wicked sense of humour.” Nabiki muttered, dragging Kuno by the legs to the nurse’s office.

Later in the morning, after the nurse had used smelling salts to wake her most frequent patient, Kuno sat in front of Nabiki, tapping a finger against her desk. “Tell me Nabiki Tendo, what has happened to Saotome?” He asked.

“Five thousand yen, Kuno baby.” Nabiki said, holding out a hand to accept the money.

“I despise you, Nabiki Tendo.” Kuno muttered, before handing over the money.

“Glad to hear it Kuno baby.” Nabiki smirked, fingering the bills. “Well…”

Five minutes later, Kuno had bolted up from his chair and charged out the door. “…All I said was that our parents were going to arrange an engagement.” Nabiki muttered, wondering what had set the Kendoist off.

HR

“Never Ranma Saotome!” Ranma heard, as he, Hiroshi and Daisuke were holding buckets in the hall. As he felt a strange sense of Dei Ja Vu, He felt something pour over his body. It was cold water! Kuno had just hit her with a bucket of water, right in front of Hiroshi and Daisuke. Fortunately, no one else was there, but it was still really embarrassing.

“Uhh!” Kuno said, as he caught sight of Ranma, red pigtail dripping, glaring at him. I am sorry, dear lady. I have Mistaken thee for a foul demon that hast possessed a noble friend of mine and seakest to use him to break me and my love apart.”

“Huh?” Ranma asked, blinking stupidly. “How am I supposed ta break ya and your love apart?” She asked.

“Tis not you, but the foul demon which possesses Ranma Saotome. It wishes to wed my fair Akane Tendo.”

“I do not!” Ranma yelled, her automatic denial instinct coming into play. Then, her eyes widened and she clamped a hand over her mouth.

Kuno looked horrified for a second as the gears in his head, rusty as they were, began to tick away. “Y… You mean that Thou art the demon that possesses Ranma Saotome? Tis such a tragedy that such a lovely form shouldst hide such an insidious being. I STRIKE!”

“Damn it Kuno!” Ranma swore, as she dodged the maddened Kendoist’s sword swings. “I ain’t no demon!” Kicking Kuno hard, Ranma sent him out a nearby window and turned back to Hiroshi and Daisuke, brushing her hands off. Luckily, the rest of the class had, through some miracle, not heard the sounds of combat outside their classroom and had stayed inside.

“R… Ranma, is that you man?” Hiroshi asked, gaping at the Redhead who, if he wasn’t partially convinced was his best friend, he would have considered very hot.

Ranma sighed, Glaring at the place where Kuno once stood. “Yeh, it’s me. I’m gunna go change back. I’ll explain at lunch.” She said, before walking off.

After Ranma had walked away, Daisuke looked at Hiroshi. “Do you think Kuno Sempai was right about Ranma being possessed?” He asked, worriedly.

“Well, he has been acting kind of strange lately.” Hiroshi said, scratching his chin. “With what I just saw, I donno.” Then reality, even as warped as it was, set in. “Are you kidding? It was KUNO who said it. If he was ever right, the world would end!”

The two boys paled and rushed to the window on the other side of the corridor from the classroom, looking for signs of the apocalypse. Everything looked perfectly normal, accept for the body of Kuno floating in the pool in the yard.

“What are you two doing?” Nabiki asked, as she walked up behind the two boys.

“Looking at Kuno.” Daisuke said, quickly lying. Nabiki didn’t bother to question him further, as she saw the floating form of her classmate in the pool.

“Who did that?” Nabiki asked, raising an eyebrow. She hadn’t heard Akane’s outraged cry of “PERVERT!” So she assumed it had been someone else.

“It was Ranma, I think.” Daisuke said, shaking his head in confusion.

“You think?” Nabiki asked, suspiciously. “Wouldn’t you know if your best friend kicked Kuno out a window?”

“Well, he looked kinda different.” Hiroshi temporized, trying to cover for Daisuke’s slip up. Something told them that Ranma just may not want whatever had just happened to get out to the school in general, and so long as his friend wasn’t possessed by a demon, he would stick by him. After all, that was what buddies did.

“Hey guys, why’re ya lookin out the window?” Ranma asked, as he came up behind them.

Nabiki jumped and spun, surprised that the boy could sneak up behind her. She hadn’t done martial arts in years, but she had kept in practice with the sneaking techniques, and detection of same, for her spy operations. No one who wasn’t a well trained martial artist could sneak up behind her like that.

“Oh, yer lookin at Kuno.” Ranma said, dismissively looking out the window. “The moron should survive. I didn’t kick him too hard.”

Nabiki walked away, mulling over the new information she had, as the three boys, who had finally served their water bucket penalties, walked into their classes.

HR

In China, more specifically in a range of mountains called the Bayankala range, two men wearing animal skins waited. “Lime? What do you think is taking Master Herb so long down at Jusenkyo?” One asked, looking curiously at the other.

The other, who was wearing a tiger pelt, shrugged. “I don’t know mint. Maybe the monkey got away.”

As the two guards to the prince of the musk pondered this, they heard the sounds of what sounded like a woman’s screams followed by the distinctive explosions of their leader’s powerful Chi attacks. Running towards Jusenkyo, The two animal warriors briefly saw a black haired woman running down the trail, screeching like a monkey. As she passed them, she dropped a large ladle and bucket. The two bodyguards to the lord of the musk blinked stupidly, being distracted by the bare body of the female. As they looked on in a state of semi shock, They saw their lord, rapped in a cloak, walk up the trail to meet them.

“Lord Herb, are you all right?” Mint said, using his superior speed to run to his master.

“I… I am fine.” Herb said, in a voice that was just barely above a whisper. Something seemed slightly off about it, but the two men decided not to question their lord. “Lime, grab the Chiisuden and follow me.”

The broad shouldered tiger man obliged, picking up the bucket and ladle and following his leader. Mint followed as well, wondering what was wrong with his leader. His scent seemed a bit off.

HR

That lunch hour at Furinkan high, Daisuke and Hiroshi sat across from Ranma, shocked. “So you turn into a girl when splashed with cold water?” Daisuke asked, to get the story straight.

“Yeh. I told ya that before.” Ranma said, sighing. He hated telling people about his curse, especially after they had already found out once before.

Hiroshi got a wicked grin on his face and held up a bottle of water.

“Do it and die.” Ranma growled, glaring at his friend.

With an “Eap” of surprise, Hiroshi lowered the bottle slowly. “C’mon man. If you turn into a cute girl you have to let us see!” He protested. “What kind of friend are you?”

Ranma gripped his head and shook it violently. He had had to deal with this the first time these two had found out, as well. “Look. If you had a female friend, would you expect her to show off her body to you?”

“Yes.” Daisuke said, stupidly, before Hiroshi bopped him on the head.

“And that’s precisely why you don’t have a girlfriend.” Hiroshi snickered, Getting a look of understanding. “All right Ranma. I get it… Not that I won’t try anyways!” He cried, before throwing a bottle of water at Ranma.

With an annoyed frown, Ranma jumped out of the way of the water bottle, so that it emptied it’s contents on the grass behind him. “You wanna die, Hiro?” He asked, cracking his knuckles and generating a blue battle aura.

Hiroshi eaped again, and backed down.

From across the field, Akane narrowed her eyes at Ranma. She wasn’t very good at it, but she COULD see Chi and he was generating an aura so powerful that normal people could see it. “How did that pervert get so good?” She wondered, while her friends carried on conversations next to her.

END.

Notes.

(1) That scene was inspired by a mental image I had of Lina inverse doing xelos’s hand thing and winking. Anyone wanna draw me a fanart pic of Ranko doing that? Please? Begs on his knees.

If you do, sned me an E-mail and I’ll provide a more full description of Ranko for you.