|Shades Of Grey
Author: Hartabound PM
LexLana. Lex reflects on what it means to be a little more abstract than the saintly Clark Kent.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Lex L. & Lana L. - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,805 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 05-27-06 - Published: 05-06-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2925759
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N Sorry it took me so long to update just wanted to see how the series ended. Now I do, I guess we'll all be having fun with Zod…
'There's nothing believable in being honest,
So cover your lies up with another promise…'
Lana had always loved the sound of rain; it was a constant in her world that seemed to be forever about loss. The rain could be counted on; it fell from the sky, a thorough drenching to cleanse what little soul one had left. The heavy pitter patter of it as it hit her windscreen was one such constant against the continuing change that was her relationship with Lex Luthor.
Even as she stood in his driveway now, looking over the bonnet of her SUV, she knew he was standing in front of that fireplace of his admiring the shadows. She was being drenched by the rains but her soul was filling to the brim with Lex Luthor. How could this happen, she thought, they were friends, close friends nothing more…surely? But the way she had kissed him, and the way he had kissed her…God the way he had kissed her….
Quite subconsciously she found herself running her finger across her lips, softly, remembering the feel of his lips pressed tightly against hers, his warm breath passing into her mouth, those teeth nipping gently at her lips asking for entry and gladly being granted it. That tongue wrapping and dancing effortlessly with hers…before she knew what was happening Lana felt familiar warmth in the pit of her stomach and travelling down.
She sighed deeply; she had to go back to him, right now, whilst he was still stood in front of that fire.
'I've been sat in the car for the past half hour, and then stood in the rain for another half..,'
He turned back to the fire and his drink. 'I know…' he replied quietly.
'Lex…why can't I leave…?' She barely whispered the words, but he heard them clearly. He shook his head, 'I don't know Lana, but…,' seeming as apprehensive as she was, he turned towards her once more, '…I know I don't want you to.'
His softly spoken words brought home a belated realisation for Lana, not the gentle cleansing of a cold rain, but with the force of a tidal wave. Lex Luthor was her constant. Never mind the changes in their relationship; he was the one who was there despite her fears of being abandoned by those closest to her, the one who always consoled, the soothing balm for what lately seemed her constant aching heart.
But the step they were about to take could change all of that, if she put her fears aside and gave herself to him, what of the consequences if it all went wrong. Surely then it would be too painful for them both for him to remain her constant. Could she risk losing the best friend she had ever had?
And then all thoughts and all doubts were stilled, as he strode across the room purposefully and took the risk for her. He smiled at her gently, and somewhat nervously reached up entangling his fingers in her wet hair. The sensation sent a thrill through them both, she quivered at his touch.
'Lex…your friendship, it means the world to me.' She could barely get the words out; his face was so close to hers, his lips so achingly close.
'Lana…you're the only truth I've ever known, the best thing in my life, do you really think I would risk all of that if I didn't think, if I didn't need you so much…?' His gentle words, so full of fear and longing broke and mended her heart all at once.
She shook her head slightly and smiled, before reaching up and passing a caressing touch over his face, pressed her lips gently but firmly over his. The kiss at first soft became increasingly passionate as both his hands found their way over her hips and across her back, holding her yet closer. She wrapped her arms about his neck, not willing to let go, afraid of letting go.
She broke the kiss reluctantly; he searched her eyes for some sort of indication of what should happen next. He knew exactly what he wanted but he had to be sure of her feelings. The warmth in her gaze gave him all the assurance he needed. Taking her by the hand he led her to the leather settee in front of the fire.
Settling her down on it he eased himself next to her, and chose in that moment simply to hold her close. She pressed her head to his chest, and found his heartbeat as erratic as hers. It comforted her to know that he was just as nervous; she sighed deeply and wrapped her arms tighter around his waist.
He broke away from her and looking down at her intently, smiled and gently pushed a few strands of wet hair from her face. 'I know you're scared Lana, but you should know, I would never do anything to hurt you, not if I could ever help it. But you know I need you to say it…'
She understood, of course she did, she knew exactly what he wanted her to say, but he was right, she was scared. So she chose to feign ignorance, 'Say what…?'
Lex seemed hurt by her reluctance, and she wished in that moment that she could take back the words and that she wasn't such a damn coward.
'You know, you must know…' he whispered gently into her ear. 'Just say it…'
Her voice quivered, 'You're right I am scared, I wish I didn't care what they think. But I do. Lex…' She placed a hand on his face tenderly, 'I've lived in this town all my life, what are they going to say? The town princess and…and…'
'The town Pariah, the devil himself…' He finished the sentence for her. 'Isn't that what you wanted to say?'
'God no…! Lex…' She kissed him suddenly and passionately, he groaned against her lips when she broke away from the touch for a deep breath. She clasped his face in her hands and began bestowing gentle butterfly kisses along his jaw and down his neck. She brought her lips close to his ear and whispered, 'Lex, I'm so used to Smallville taking care of me, these people acting as my makeshift guardians. I'm tired of being their little princess, their public tragedy. I just don't want them thinking that you're another thing, something else I need to be rescued from.'
She kissed him passionately once more, this time pressing her forehead firmly against his as she pulled away from his lips, 'I don't want to be rescued anymore, no more poor little lost girl, no more saving me…not even by you.'
'I've done that…?'
She nodded. 'Yes, but as always Lex Luthor, you did it with class!' She smiled widely. And he had to concede she was right, even he had developed the complex, the need to continually appear her knight in shining armour. He had struggled against it, never wishing to appear stifling, even sending her to Paris to allow her that freedom she so craved. Even when at times the sensation of missing her company had been heartrending.
'Ok..,' he replied, 'but Lana I don't think you have to worry about my rescuing you anymore, I think it's going to be very much the other way round.' He kissed her again before adding cryptically, 'there are too many black holes.'
Lana didn't understand his last remark, but she caught the look of contentment in his eyes, the hope filled embrace in which he held her and she was hopelessly lost. She kissed him back then with a sort reckless abandon that she had never known.
The passion and ardour increased and her wandering hands found their way to his shirt buttons. Soon the bottom half of his shirt was undone and she slipped a hand underneath. Her cool touch caused his muscles to flinch; he suddenly drew back and grabbed her wrist tightly.
She looked up at him confused, 'What…what's wrong?'
'Lana,' he replied huskily, 'I don't think you know how much..., the depth of these feelings for you. If you start down that path, I'm sorry but I don't think I'll be able to stop…'
She slipped her hand back underneath his shirt, 'I know I wouldn't want you to stop.'
'Are you sure…?' Lex hesitated for only the moment it took for her to nod her agreement. He kissed her hard then, his lips bruising, crushingly pressed against hers. And then he was pushing her down on the settee and she was letting him, encouraging him.
But he had to know she was sure, he had to hear her say it. 'The sky won't fall down Lana, just say it.'
'And if it does fall down?' She asked him, her eyes brimmed with gentle tears. He brushed them away with his thumb.
'If it does, I'll still be here, I'll always be here.' He kissed her gently, 'say it…what is it you want?'
She found her voice and her strength at last, 'I want you Lex Luthor…, I love you.' And that was all he needed.
He soon discarded both their clothes and made sure she knew just how much he wanted her and how much he loved her.
A few hours later as they cuddled under a blanket, he looked intently at her as she slowly shut her eyes and drifted off to sleep. He held her yet tighter.
He was suddenly reminded of a song he had recently heard, it seemed to fit their situation so perfectly, even though he had hated the words at first and had gotten up and left as soon as it had finished. It was in The Talon as he watched her quietly from the back, as had become his habit. She had been sat at a table, talking and laughing with Clark, they were still a couple then, and rather than interrupt them he had been content to just sit and watch.
Even as Clark was his friend, even then he had wished that the hand she held so tightly, and the lips she kissed ever so sweetly were his own. And then that song had come on, those first lines, that had spoken so true.
'Some say love is not for sinners,
I believe that isn't true,
because when I was finished sinning,
love came down and showed me you…'
Well he hadn't finished sinning, not by a long way but she had come to him all the same and here in her arms he fought for it, and believed in her heart he may have just found his absolution.