Author's notes: OK, this is a short story entry for a contest over at DevArt. get on over there and check out the slammin' title image rendered by (who else?) Minnesottamutt. This is purely a comedic story, and has nothing to do with the REUNIVERSE. And... even if I don't win the contest, I'm thinking the fact that I managed to crank out a story in less than ten thousand words is an accomplismhent in its own right. Oh, and the title ismerely a mild spoof of Captain Kodak's wildly popular 'Lotus Bloom', and intended solely as parody, while the story itself has nothing to do with his tale.

Enjoy!

The Lotus Broom

••

Ron Stoppable trudged his way up the hill. He'd forgotten how steep the trail leading up to Yamanuchi was. This wasn't exactly how he'd expected his day to turn out. He was supposed to be going to class. After all it was the first week of school, and he and Kim Possible were Seniors now. Well, not just seniors, but…

Ron flushed at the thought. More than three months they'd been together and the idea that KP was his girlfriend still sent tingles through his head. The tingles turned to longing as he began to miss her, not for the first time that day. She wasn't with him; Kim was off battling Motor Ed who'd teamed up with-… Ron stopped and scratched his head. Ed had joined forces with somebody, but he'd forgotten who. It always seemed like they were either battling the same villains over and over, or those same villains were teaming up into odd pairs as if to keep things interesting.

He stopped walking, looked up and sighed. Sensei had done his "ghost e-mail" thingy in which he appeared to Ron as a mystical apparition. Because of the time change between Japan and Middleton, Sensei had misjudged slightly and appeared to Ron in his first period World History class. Principal Barkin had been subbing because the regular teacher was on an archeological dig in the desert outside of Cairo.

"CHEESE AND CRACKERS IT'S A GHOST!" Barkin bellowed and dove under the desk, causing the globe sitting atop it to fall over, roll to the edge and fall, and smack him on his cowering head.

"Stoppable-san!" Sensei's voice had an ethereal echo-y effect, "You must come to Yamanuchi as soon as you can. I fear the Lotus Blade is in great danger."

And that was it, the apparition simply vanished out of existence after that.

Ron and Kim were looking at each other, trying to figure out what was up when Barkin got up rubbing his sore flat top, "STOPPABLE! EXPLANATION NOW!"

Ron tried his best to explain to Barkin just exactly what the ghostly specter was that had frightened him like a scared puppy under the desk, but the principal wasn't having any of it. "There's no place in my classroom for passing notes, Stoppable, even if those notes come from a trans-dimensional source using spectral psy-waves to send messages from the other side of the planet."

Every head in the classroom tilted to one side, trying to figure out what it was Barkin had just said. They understood perfectly what he said next:

"That's a week's detention!"

Ron tried to protest, but the Kimmunicator had buzzed at that moment, and it was Wade with news about Motor Ed, and… whoever the other guy was. Was it DNAmy? Kim headed off to thwart the villains, while Wade set up a ride for Ron as soon as he'd fulfilled that day's detention service. Ron Stoppable was on the trail of Mt. Yamanuchi that evening, except here in Japan it was already the next morning.

He began to hike again. Ron couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was something nagging him about Yamanuchi. Somehow it seemed that all the events of his life revolved around this secret ninja school and it's master, as well as the mysterious sword called the Lotus Blade. Of course, this was only the second time Ron had been up this mountain, but he still couldn't shake that feeling. There was another feeling Ron couldn't shake. The feeling of being watched.

••

A sinister pair of eyes followed Ron's progress up the trail and never once seemed to blink. He'd only been battling Kim Possible for a few weeks now, since mid-summer. He had a lot of henchmen, most of whom he regarded with contempt. A lot of the time they seemed more like sycophants than hired goons; constantly kissing up to him and telling him what a great villain he was. Well, all except the female henchmen- or henchwomen. He was constantly making passes at them. Or at least, he flirted with them, convincing himself that he was somehow charming, when in reality they were a little creeped out by his advances. Most of them would eventually lose respect for the wannabe villain and go in search of better prospects in the field of crime, but he was completely oblivious.

When Ron Stoppable was out of sight, Du Jour sat down on a nearby rock and uttered a frustrated sigh.

"I don't know," He said to no one in particular, "Is this even worth it? Sometimes I feel like you guys are just with me because I do battle with Kim Possible."

"No, no!" several of his closest henchmen protested, "You're the best! You can totally do this!"

Du Jour looked at them dejectedly, "You really think so?"

"Absolutely!" they groveled, more henchmen crowded around and began singing their praises of him, "You are the premiere Kim Possible arch foe! No one does it as well as you do!"

He narrowed his eyes and glared at them, knowing that if he decided to take on a lesser hero, or even an unknown hero, most of them would lose interest and wander away. They only admired him for that one reason, and he seriously resented them for it. He sighed again and stood up reluctantly, while those around him continued to chorus their praises and encouragements.

He went by the name of Nemesis Du Jour, a relatively unknown Canadian villain who'd been battling various well-known heroes, and he felt he never got the recognition he deserved. He was thin, wiry, with a narrow face that drew itself almost to a point at the end of his nose. He wore a scarlet, one-piece spandex outfit with a big white "N" encased in a black circular background on his chest. He glared around contemptuously at his henchmen, rolled his eyes and stooped over to pick up his weapon.

"Let's go," he hissed with an annoyed sigh, "Sometimes I wonder why I even bother…"

••

"Stoppable-san," Sensei said placidly to his former student, "I thank you for coming on such short notice. I may have need of your services as a master of Monkey Kung Fu and your abilities to wield the Lotus Blade. But where is Rufus-san?"

"Back in my room, asleep. I am down with whatever you need me for, Homie-san!" Ron said enthusiastically to his old friend.

Sensei nodded, tapped his fist against his chest twice and flashed a peace sign, "I fear the Lotus Blade may be in danger. Even now I believe the enemy is at the gates of this very school."

"It is?" Ron looked mildly alarmed, "Dude, you should do what my dad does whenever someone comes to the gate of our house… well, we don't really have a gate or anything… but he always hides and pretends no one's home until those salesmen give up and go away."

"I wish I could," Sensei said impassively, "But just moments ago I received word from several of my Ninja TA's that a villain and many of his henchmen are advancing upon this school. I believe their intent is to steal or capture the Lotus Blade. I need you to take it into your possession until it is safe."

"Oh man, I wish KP were here," Ron muttered, "Master dude-san, I'll help you out any way I can. But I gotta tell you, my ninja skills aren't all that, if you know what I'm sayin'. I mean, I'm not so sure I can rumble with a bunch of bad guys even if I do have the magic sword."

"Do not fear, Stoppable-san. You shall have help from a friend." Sensei informed him calmly. The old master gestured to a small door on his right, through which stepped an oddly dressed Ninja. He was wearing all the traditional ninja-style garb, with a small pouch belted to his waist. But there was something different. On his head, the ninja was wearing what seemed to be a yarmulke. The assassin removed his mask to reveal the face of-

"Rabbi Katz?" Ron exclaimed, almost falling over.

"Hello Ronald," The Rabbi said in a friendly tone, "Don't worry, I'll help see you safely off this mountain with the Lotus Blade."

"But you're…" Ron stammered, "You're…"

"A Rabbinical Ninja," Katz confirmed, "That's correct."

"A what Ninja?" Ron gaped.

"Hassidic Ninjitsu is a very ancient and very secret order of Rabbi Ninjas dedicated to preserving the Jewish way of life in the Far East," Sensei explained evenly, "Rabbi Katz and his colleagues come to train at Yamanuchi every year after the end of Passover."

"It's a time of purification," Katz explained, "Of centering one's self, and Sensei throws a great potluck dinner at the end of the week."

"All ninjas A-L bring a main dish while assassins M-Z bring desserts to share." Sensei concluded.

Ron wasn't sure how to react to any of this.

"We must hurry," the Rabbi Ninja said earnestly, "We will need to employ a few tricks to slip away from the enemy."

"Silly Rabbi," Sensei said with the barest hint of a smile on his face, "Tricks are for kids."

Katz chuckled and turned to Ron, "He says that joke to me every year, and it still cracks me up!"

Ron stood up in a daze as Sensei brought out the Lotus Blade and opened the case. Suddenly, there was a bright purple glow as the air seemed to sizzle and crackle. A beam shot through an open window and hit a large piece of crystal sitting on Sensei's desk. The light refracted with a deafening zapping noise and struck the Lotus Blade, then surged forward until it discharged itself into a cleaning utensil that was leaning against a nearby wall.

Ron, Sensei and the Rabbi all dove instinctively to the floor, Ron with a startled yelp. The purple beam suddenly cut off and a bunch of scarlet-clad henchmen burst through the front door.

"Where are all the ninja students?" Ron cried frantically as he tried to fight off various attackers, "They should be helping us!"

"Today is an in-service day." Sensei answered while combating three goons at once, "Most of the faculty are at a confidence-building retreat!"

"I thought some of them lived here at the school!" Ron jumped, dodged and slithered his way free of two captors, "Where are Yori and Hirotaka!"

"They are working on their senior project together," Sensei replied, "I believe it is a thesis on 'Ninjas in the Corporate Boardroom.' I made them do it over after I discovered Hirotaka had gotten his first project, 'Did Nixon hire Ninjas to break in to Watergate?' off the internet and tried to pass it off as his own."

"Interesting!" Rabbi Katz mused while combating two henchmen. Ron gaped as he watched the Rabbi pull out two Hassidic Shuriken – throwing stars of David, shaped like two triangles superimposed and facing opposite directions – and hurl them at two retreating goons. The Rabbi continued talking, "Is there any truth to that Nixon rumor?"

"If so," Sensei said, calmly blocking punches and dodging kicks, "They did not come from my school. None of my students would have been caught."

Katz chuckled, pulled out a dreidel and hurled it to the ground where it exploded, driving back several attackers.

The room was thick with henchmen as the close combat raged on. Ron didn't fight so much as spend most of his time trying to get away from pursuing henchmen.

Then, two things happened at once. The first thing was that one of the goons called out "I've got it!" and the henchmen began making their way to the door en masse. The second thing was Kim Possible, who burst dramatically through a window, tumbled once or twice, and came up in a very impressive combat-ready stance, her fists set to inflict pain.

"KP!" Ron yelled excitedly and scrambled over to where she was.

"Wade called and said you needed help." Kim said resolutely, "So here I am."

"What happened to Motor Ed and –?"

"They got away," Kim cut him off, "I so don't wanna talk about it."

In a matter of seconds, the room was empty, leaving the four of them standing, and breathing sighs of relief. They each asked if everyone else was OK. It was then that Sensei made the terrible discovery. The Lotus Blade had been stolen.

"It's OK, dudes!" Ron said running to the door and stretching out his hand, "I'll just call it back to me like last time! Here, magic sword!"

"Woah!" Kim practically yelled as the broom leaning against the wall near her suddenly flew through the air and into Stoppable's waiting grasp.

Everyone stared at Ron.

He stared at the broom in his hand, "Did I just wake up in 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice?'"

"Ron!" Kim called out in horror, "No! Don't say that, it's copyrighted!"

"Dial down the dramatics KP, no one's gonna-"

"No, Ron, you don't understand! It's copyrighted by Disney!" She yelled, the dramatics in her voice doing precisely the opposite of 'dialing down'.

Suddenly the air began to shudder, a rumble emanated from everywhere at once and a giant, black vortex opened up nearby. It was circular, with two smaller circles perched on either side of the top. The room seemed to grow cold as a man in a gray suit stepped out of the inter-dimensional doorway. He was carrying a small attaché case. On his breast pocket was a pin shaped exactly like the vortex, though it had the smiling face of a cartoon mouse on it. The man strode calmly but resolutely toward Ron.

"Sir!" he said in a calm, resolute manner, "I demand you retract that unauthorized remark at once, or face 'litigation'!"

"I'm sorry!" Ron's voice was panicky. He'd heard rumors about what happened to those who didn't comply with such demands. Rumors of an "It's a Small World" ride with no exit. Ron whispered behind him out of the side of his mouth. "Sensei! Help me!"

The old master bowed his head sadly, "I am sorry, Stoppable-san. But even the power of Ninjitsu is no match for a Disney Corporate Lawyer."

"See that this doesn't happen again. Otherwise, there will be severe penalties for you or anyone who knows you, so you better warn your friends and family. Don't force Disney to end you prematurely." The gray-suited man nodded abruptly and stepped back into the vortex. The gaping maw disappeared and then everything suddenly looked as it did just a few minutes before.

Silence for a few seconds.

Ron again looked at the broom in his had. While he was inspecting, it suddenly transformed into a mop.

Sensei's eyes widened for a split second, "The power of the Lotus Blade has been infused within this implement."

Rabbi Katz nodded, "I think that purplish beam was supposed to steal the mystical power from the Lotus Blade but instead, it somehow transferred to the broom… The Lotus Broom."

For an instant, it almost sounded as though a chorus of angels had begun to sing. Everyone looked around with curious faces. But as quickly as it had come, it was gone.

"Are you sure about that, Rabbi Katz?" Kim Possible asked, "That's some pretty serious conclusion jumping."

"I understand how you feel," Katz said kindly to the teen hero, "And I have a perfectly reasonable explanation with visual aids and charts that diagram precisely how I arrived at that particular conclusion. But we are pressed for time, so you'll just have to take my word for it."

Everyone nodded.

"Stoppable-san," Sensei bowed to the young blond man, "You must take the Lotus Broom…"

Again, everyone stopped and looked around as an invisible chorus seemed to sing a briefly sustained note.

"…back with you to Middleton were I believe it will be safe from whoever is trying to steal the power of the Lotus." Sensei concluded, halting quickly at the word 'lotus' in anticipation of the invisible chorus. But it didn't sing this time.

"You got it!" Ron gave the old ninja master a thumbs up.

Rabbi Katz did some preliminary scouting and discovered that the henchmen had gone, declaring it safe to leave Yamanuchi. While he was gone, Ron had fun turning the Lotus Broom…

(angelic chorus)

…into all kinds of different things. But as he discovered, the broom could only be turned into other cleaning utensils. Just as the Lotus Blade could only be transformed into other weapons, so the Lotus Broom…

(chorus: "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!")

…could only be turned into likewise characteristic cleaning tools such as mops, push brooms, squeegees, and so forth. Though he was somewhat disappointed in the limited scope of the Lotus Broom's…

( Chorus: "Aaaaaahhhhhhh!"… what keeps doing that?)

…transmogrificational abilities, an idea began to form in his head, an idea that began to make Ron feel as though his sidekick days just might be drawing to an end. Then another thought occurred to him as they all made their way out of the gates and down the mountain.

"Uh…KP?" He turned and looked at his girlfriend, "If the bad guy was trying to steal the powers of the Lotus, why did he send all his henchmen in to steal the Blade itself?"

"Ron!" Kim hissed, looking around warily, "It's not polite to point out flaws in the plot!"

••

Several days later, Du Jour was in his lair, surrounded by his adoring legion of henchmen, presenting a gift to one Lord Montgomery Fiske, also known as Monkey Fist.

"And you assure me this is the real Lotus Blade?" Monkey Fist moved forward warily, his monkey ninjas were spread out around him in a protective semi-circle.

"Absolutely," Du Jour assured him, "You'll note the inscription on the bottom of the hilt that indicates its origins. Plus, I have this certificate of authenticity countersigned by a Beverly Hills appraiser which might come in useful should you ever wish to sell the Bade on E-Bay or a similar, yet clearly unknown, auction website."

In two short bounds, Monkey Fist leaped forward and snatched the Blade form Du Jour's hands. Once he had it, he held it aloft in triumph.

"At last!" Monkey Fist cried out, "I have the perfect weapon to become Supreme Monkey Rul-"

He stopped short and gazed at the sword clenched in his fist above him. He stared at it for several more seconds then hurled it angrily back at Du Jour, snarling, "What kind of trickery is this? The Blade will not change its shape. This is not the Lotus Blade!"

"Oh, but I assure you it is." Du Jour said with a cunning smile, "It is most certainly the Lotus Blade. It just no longer had the mystical power for which it is legendary.

"Without the power, the Blade is practically worthless!" Monkey Fist almost howled in rage, "There's nothing I can do with-… you say there is a certificate of authenticity to go with it?"

"Right here." Du Jour handed over an official looking piece of paper.

"Perhaps I will sell this on E-bay after all," Monkey Fist muttered, "I could use a boost in my feedback rating. The nerve of some people to leave negative comments, as if they're surprised they're getting ripped off by a villain!"

And with that, the simian supervillain exited the lair, never to be seen in this story again.

Du Jour was rubbing his hands together evilly, in the grand tradition of villain clichés, "This confirms it! Monkey Fist's inability to transform the Blade means that we have successfully drained it of its power. Now it will simply be a matter of-"

"Boss!" One of the henchmen called out, "I think we have a problem!"

Annoyed and muttering, Du Jour made his way over to the hired goon that had called to him. As it happened, he was standing by the weapon they had used to attempt to drain the Lotus of its power. Du Jour called it his 'French Fryer'. Why he called it that no one was really sure.

"What is it?" Du Jour snapped as he approached, angry that his moment of triumph had been interrupted.

"Look!" The henchman pointed an indicator dial on the weapon.

Du Jour glared at the indicator and upgraded his anger to rage, then unbridled fury. The gage marked "Mystical Power Storage Cell" was on 'Empty'. It seemed the power had not been taken from the Lotus Blade after all.

Nemesis clenched his fists and shook them at everyone standing nearby, "Why didn't someone tell me this several days ago? Perhaps when we were actually at Yamanuchi, when something could have been done about this? But wait, if the Lotus Blade no longer has its power, then where did the mystical Lotus Power go?"

"Mr. Du Jour!" a henchman came running up with an edition of that day's Middleton Gazette, "Take a look at this!"

Du Jour glanced at the paper then threw it back at the thug, "What do I care if there's a sale at Club Banana?"

"No, no!" The hired goon protested, "Look at the top of the front page!"

Du Jour snatched back the newspaper and glared furiously at it again. Across the top was a bold headline that read: NEW SUPERHERO, 'THE CUSTODIAN', CLEANS UP CRIME IN MIDDLETON. Below the headline was a photo of a young blond-haired man in a tan one-piece coverall with a large collar, and a black mask that only covered the area around his eyes. He was standing dramatically, holding a broom in his hand as if it were a weapon in the arsenal of justice. Only a complete idiot would not recognize that 'The Custodian' was clearly Ron Stoppable.

"Who is this guy?" Du Jour demanded, waving the paper around in the air.

"We don't know," The henchmen answered, "But the article talks about how the broom in his hand has the ability to change its shape."

Du Jour skimmed the page and found the relevant information, then read it aloud, "'Sources say the famous teen hero, Kim Possible, is a friend of 'The Custodian' and that they have been seen working together over the last several days.'"

He stood there and thought for a moment or two, then realization dawned on him, "That's it! If this 'Custodian' is close to Kim Possible, that means Ron Stoppable must know him too! I bet Stoppable gave this shape-shifting broom to this 'Custodian' fellow… THAT'S where the power of the Lotus went! It didn't just disappear, it's now housed within this… this… 'Lotus Broom-!'"

(angelic chorus)

"What the heck was that?" Du Jour and his henchmen looked all about them, confused at the choral noise they had just heard. Du Jour then ignored it and continued with his rant, "Clearly we need to pay a visit to Middleton, and we're bringing the French Fryer with us!"

••

"All right, Motor Ed, it's time you were swept into jail!" The Custodian stood defiantly on the roof of the Middleton High School Gym, facing down the notorious New Jersey Villain known as Motor Ed. Next to him stood the world's deadliest golfer, Duff Killagin.

"Aw that's weak, bro!" Motor Ed complained, "What does that even mean? That's a horrible superhero one-liner. Seriously!"

"Welcome to my world." Kim Possible groaned and rolled her eyes, though she remained in her combat-ready stance. "He's been like this for days now."

Draped from the roof of the gym was a large, hand-painted sign that read 'Middleton High School annual bake sale today!'. Motor Ed thought it would be a perfect opportunity to sneak into the Middleton H.S. auto shop and steal their new Hydraulic Nitrous Injector while everyone was at the event; most of the students and teachers as well as parents were in attendance, buying cakes, cookies and lots of pies.

"Lassie!" Duff advanced on KP menacingly, "Your world is about to get a lot greener."

"See, Ron? Now that's what a clever one-liner should sound like!" Kim pointed out.

"Aw, dude!" Motor Ed squared off with The Custodian, "You're that little blond guy? Seriously?"

"Thanks a lot, KP!" Ron complained while he transformed the Broom into a pool cleaning net, "Do the words 'secret identity' just mean nothing to you?"

"Ron, only a total moron wouldn't be able to recognize you from your picture in the paper!" Kim lectured him, "That mask barely covers the area around your eyes!"

"Where's your little pink bald buddy?" Motor Ed stalked toward the Custodian in a threatening manner.

"Oh, Rufus? He's asleep in my locker." Ron said, "All right, Motor Ed, it's time I cleaned up your act."

"That was a little better." Kim admitted while dodging Killagin's attacks.

Ron managed to hold his own pretty well against Motor Ed. Part of that was due to the fact that The Custodian kept bringing the net down around Ed's head, and Ed would freak out about damaging his mullet and retreat a few steps until he was free from the entanglement. Since neither Ed nor Killagin had any henchmen with them, the fight was fairly even, though things took a bad turn when, below them inside the gym, Principal Barkin decided to open the skylights to let in some air, as it was getting quite stuffy with all those people in there. They were state-of-the-art skylights that slid open at the touch of a button. The two heroes and two villains suddenly found the ceiling beneath them had slid open, and they fell through the air, into the gym. Luckily, the gymnastics team had piled up all their mats in a huge jumble of foamy softness beneath the skylights, so none of them were hurt. Kim instantly sprang into a combat stance, while The Custodian tried his best to look heroic, but kept tripping and falling on his face while he attempted to climb out of the pile of mats.

"You OK, Ron?"

"The Custodian is all right, and ready to skim the pool of crime with his net of justice!"

Kim rolled her eyes, "Please, Ron, can you give it a rest for a few- mmmphphmmph!"

Kim's sentence was cut off, having taken a coconut cream pie full in the face. Angry emerald eyes glared through whipped topping.

Duff Killagin let out a maniacally Scottish laugh, "Pie-hole-in-one, lassie!"

"Oh, no way!" Motor Ed was laughing hard while wailing away on an air guitar, "You just nailed Red in the face with a- mmmphph!"

Strawberry rhubarb with graham cracker crust, thrown rather accurately by The Custodian, who stood looking very satisfied with himself.

Ed freaked, "Dude! You got rhubarb in my mullet! SERIOUSLY!"

Ron, Kim, Ed and Duff all suddenly had pies in their hands, poised to hurl them when at that moment, Du Jour and his henchmen came streaming into the gym. Without hesitating, the students, parents and faculty of Middleton High School armed themselves with the nearest desserts and an all out, slam bang, no-holds-barred pie fight erupted. Cakes, custards, cobblers, cookies, candy, creamed topping (why do so many desserts begin with "C"?), and all manner of pies; chocolate, cherry, cranberry, coconut cream ("C" what I mean?) began flying through the air. Henchmen began dropping under the onslaught of tasty vengeance, and rich, chocolaty justice.

Somewhere in the confusion, Ron lost his grip on the Lotus Broom…

(the chorus again… is that getting annoying or what?)

… and it disappeared from his grasp at the precise moment Rabbi Ninja Katz appeared at his side as if from nowhere.

"Ronald," The Rabbinical Ninjitsu Master informed him, "I managed to recover the original Lotus Blade. At least, that's what this certificate of authenticity claims it is. Sensei believes he can transfer the Lotus Power back to the Blade."

"Too late, Rabbi!" Ron said, dismay lacing his voice, "Du Jour's stolen the broom. Look, there he goes! Quick, use your throwing stars of David!"

"I ran out of them at Yamanuchi and the replacements I ordered from 'The Kosher haven't arrived yet." Katz said calmly, "But a ninja is never without a weapon as long as he has his mind."

Katz sprinted to a nearby table, dodging and weaving between the flying desserts, and grabbed a plate of chocolate chip cookies. Spinning around, he hurled the cookies, shuriken style, at every henchman that stood between him and the one who had the Broom. His aim was uncanny.

"Ow! My eye!" one henchmen took a cookie in the face and went down, while another felt the sting of chocolate chip fury on the back of his neck and went tumbling as well. Katz and The Custodian were nearly within reach of Du Jour when the villain suddenly found himself in the grip of a short, fat man wearing a brown robe.

"Ah, Du Jour," The robed man said placidly, "I have finally tracked you down at last."

"NO!" Du Jour howled in rage and frustration. He'd been caught by his former arch foe, a superhero Franciscan Monk from Paris known only as 'The French Friar.' Mere seconds later, Motor Ed and Duff Killagin surrendered amidst the bombardment of baked goods and were in the process of being hauled off to jail, as were most of Du Jour's henchmen. Kim came running joyously up to Ron and threw her arms around him, planting an affectionate kiss on his masked face. Ron and Katz shook hands and congratulated each other, everyone in the gym began cheering.

"Oh will someone please kill me before this ending gets any happier?" Du Jour bellowed with rage, "Not even the most hackneyed Disney script writers would dream up something so utterly ludicrous-"

Suddenly, a black vortex opened in the air and out stepped the gray-suited man. He recognized Ron immediately, "You were warned young man. No one has ever said a disparaging remark about the Disney Corporation and lived to tell about it. Is this person a friend of yours?"

"Uh…" Ron thought for a second, "Well, you said if you came back you'd take away me or anyone I knew that said something bad, right?"

"Yes," the lawyer answered, "And do you know this man?"

"Not really," Ron answered truthfully.

"Ha!" the villain roared, "I'll have my revenge, Stoppable! You'll not soon forget the day you met Nemesis Du Jour!"

"OK," Ron turned back to the lawyer, "Now I know him."

Without hesitating, the lawyer took Du Jour and dragged him screaming into the vortex which closed up behind them. No one was really sure, but many thought they could hear the lyrics to "It's a Small World" emanating from the void.

"Now THAT'S a happy ending!" Ron said as he took Kim in his arms once more.

Laughter filled the gym as that day's adventure drew to a close; a day that for Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable, was like any other… just with more pie.

THE END ;)