Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's. Because I know how stressful it is for us fans, especially Merder shippers to worry about whether she would live or not, whether THEY would live. So I would never have thrown her into the water. I would never have had Izzie say what she did about Callie to George. Dylan and Denny and Doc would still be around. See, major changes. That don't exist. SO clearly, I don't own.

Addison sat in the swivel chair in the lawyer's office tapping her foot against the floor impatient.

"Damn it, Derek, where are you?" She murmured under her breath, checking her Cartier watch and absentmindedly flipping her phone open and closing it over and over again.

"Excuse me, Dr. Shepherd?" Someone addressed her and it took her a minute to look at them.

"Oh sorry. Yes?"

"Would you like us to call… your um…."

Addison raised an eyebrow at the young secretary. She was clearly new, at least to working in this kind of office and wasn't quite sure how to refer to her soon to be ex-husband. Addison flashed the girl a wry smile.

"No thank you. I'll do it myself." She flipped her phone open again and dialed before putting the phone to her ear. She listened to the ringing waiting for him to pick up.

"Shepherd here." His voice came across the speaker. She held her breath for a minute before clearing her throat.

"Derek, where are you?" She asked, growing slightly angry.

"Oh Addison. I'm sorry, I left the hospital about fifteen minutes ago. I should be almost there."

She sighed.

"Derek, I've been waiting here for the past forty-five minutes, how much longer do you expect me to wait?" She asked.

"Well you've managed to wait eleven years for the divorce, I don't think a few minutes more will kill you unless you're that eager to have your name back." He replied shortly.

She inhaled sharply hurt by his words.

"I'm not…. I'm not the one who wants this divorce Derek." She said, hearing a miniscule voice somewhere in her head tell her differently. There was a pause on the other end of the line before he responded. "Maybe not, but you're the one who asked for it."

"Just get here quickly." She snapped before slamming her phone shut. She sighed as she swiveled in the chair, smiling a little. She wasn't sure why she was smiling. Maybe it was the fact that she had just turned "round and round" in a chair as if she were a small child. Maybe it was a bitter smile because she was finally ending her marriage, be damned with the "till death do us part" crap. She didn't know. Tears sprang to her eyes. She'd cried before over ending her marriage but that had been over losing the marriage, losing Derek. Now she cried because she was losing herself. She didn't know how to be alone. She had been Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd for the past eleven nearly twelve years. She had always been dating on and off in college and med school. In high school she had had one steady boyfriend but they'd broken up because they were going to different schools. And then one day she'd met this incredible, charming, cocky, arrogant, funny, caring, sexy as all hell man. And she sincerely enjoyed being around him. She thought she had fallen in love with him. They had so much in common and not just the interest in surgery. And now she was losing him and she was going to be Addison Forbes Montgomery. She didn't know how to do this. She didn't know how to be that person. Because that person had been young, and happy and smart and careful. She hadn't slept with other men even if the man in her life was absent. Truth be told Addison resented her old self. Because she thought her to be better than what she had become. As she sat there absorbed in her thoughts the door flew open and she looked up startled. Derek stood in the door way, disheveled and breathless. He had obviously run there from the parking lot at least. She laughed at him and he shot her a little glare before giving in to a smile as he sat down in the chair. They looked at each other for a moment and even when the mediator sat down in the chair they didn't break away. Finally she sighed and said, "Lets get this divorce started."

Derek and Addison had left the building together before saying good bye and heading to their separate cars. They'd divided up the property, CDs, books, antique vases and every other thing that they owned with almost no quarrel. Derek had the sneaking suspicion that Addison had wanted to tell him something but he ignored it. He got into his car and drove back to the hospital. He walked through the doors and for the first time he felt… there wasn't really a word for it. He was walking through those doors for the first time as an unmarried man. He was free. A smile spread across his face and he nodded to several nurses and other doctors and they stared at him speechless. This was not the Dr. Shepherd they remembered from this morning.

He took the elevator up to his floor and stepped off. Meredith. He had to find her. He stepped off and began to look around. He would have to talk to her about the fight this morning, about the words but right now he had an indescribable ache in his chest because she wasn't in his sight let alone anywhere near him. He walked the winding halls on the surgical floor quickly, whipping his head in every direction, the ache in his chest worsening as he couldn't find her. He saw George, Alex, even Cristina, but Meredith was no where in sight. Panic filled his eyes and his quick, long strides became shorter, darting steps.

He rounded another corner when he finally saw her coming down from one of the OR galleries. She looked… beautiful and breathtaking of course, but she also looked numb and tired, full of regret. She looked up and stopped when her eyes met his. Relief filled him and his breathing returned to regular, something he hadn't even noticed had been irregular. The ache in his chest lessened but it didn't disappear completely and he had a feeling it wouldn't until he held her tightly in his arms and he was pressing kisses to every part of her body.

She stepped down the last few steps and she stopped again for a moment before they both look long sweeping steps to meet each other. In an instant his arms were around her, crushing her to his chest. He pressed his mouth to the top of her head and got a brief scent of lavender. He heard her muffled apologies but he shook his head and stroked her hair lightly, not lessening his grip on her in any way, shape or form. He pulled her head back from his neck though when he felt something wet fall upon it. She had tears in her eyes and her lip was trembling. She opened her mouth to speak.

"Derek, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, we're-we're-we're not a mistake." She managed to get out, struggling to keep control and to not lose control in the hallway.

"We're… us and we're perfect and wonderful and so many things but never a mistake. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She said as the tears increased.

He had been smiling a little when she called them perfect but it quickly dropped when he saw how close she was to losing it. He steered her back to his office and he locked the door when she finally gave in to the sobs of regret. He went to his chair and pulled her into his lap, cradling her against him as he let her cry, trying to calm her. After her tears subsided her hand held tight to his coat which he still hadn't taken off. They sat in silence for a few moments before she lifted her head to look at him. He wiped away the remaining tears and cupped her face as he began to speak in a low, calm, reassuring voice.

"Meredith, listen to me. You're right. We're not a mistake. We're us, and we're perfect. But you don't have anything to be sorry for."

She looked confused and he sighed.

"This morning… you're right. By law I was still a married man. I was." He said and he let the word hang in the air, waiting for the impact of his words to hit her. She stared blankly at him before she let out a soft gasp and her eyes widened.

"Derek… you are… you and Addison?" She stumbled over her words trying to make sense of the situation.

He smiled as he gently stroked her cheek. "Addison and I just signed the-"

And that was all he managed to get out before her lips were against his, hard and insistent. He kissed her back just as urgently and he pulled her hair free from its tie and threaded his fingers through her hair. She broke the kiss for a moment.

"Is the door locked?" She mumbled and he nodded as his mouth moved to her neck and he sucked softly on the exposed skin. She raked her fingers through his hair and she let out a soft scream as his teeth grazed her neck going lower and lower. He slipped his hand up her scrub top and he brushed it against her stomach before raising it higher. She moaned his name and he stood up taking her with him. He winced slightly as he put too much pressure on his hand but he didn't care. This was them. They were perfect. He'd be damned if he let his stupid hand stop him from throwing the woman he loved down on his desk and making her scream until she couldn't breathe.

And he did just that.

"Derek!" She screamed as he bit down on her neck before thrusting one last time and collapsing against her. Both of them were breathing heavily after they had finished yet another round. They had had glorious make up sex the first time, followed almost immediately by celebration sex and since then it had just been… sex. Wonderful, mind blowing sex, but with no other labels. Meredith had tried to leave after the second round but he had pinned her to the door, claiming that she was his intern for the day and it was her duty to assist him where necessary.

His breathing slowed a bit and he stepped away from her and she slid down from her spot in the corner. Her took her in his arms and they went over to the couch that he had in his office and they lay there in a pleasant silence.

"Derek?" She whispered.

"Mmm…" He murmured kissing her shoulder softly and trailing a path up her neck.

She bit her lip to hold back a soft moan. "Derek…we should um… we… clothes."

He smirked against her skin. "But I don't want to…." He said against her soft neck. His hand began to trace lazy circles on her thigh and it moved upward gradually. She sighed softly content. "Derek we really should… we could go continue this at- oh God." She cried out as he moved his hand to a sensitive spot. She wanted this to go on, she really did but it was getting late and they had to get home.

They. They had to get home. She had thought of it as their home, she hadn't thought my place or his place. And then she realized it was because wherever he was… wherever he was, was home.

She slapped at his wandering hand and he frowned at her. She laughed before kissing him.

"Later. Definitely later." She promised.

His frown didn't go away and she sighed.

"The sooner we get dressed and home the sooner we can continue this."

His eyes lit up and his face became alert before he jumped up and pulled her with him, dragging her to the corner where their clothes were.

AN: So. This was fairly short. Especially short for how long I've made you wait. And you guys know I'm sorry. What can I say. Real live sucks. Big time.

This chapter was basically just some Merder fluff. 'Cause with that story arc that we just had and with no new episode till next week… I'm kind of starving for Merder in general, not just fluff. Stuff where Meredith ISN'T in danger of dying. And it was also just a way to finally get Derek divorced from Addison, a free man. And it was the beginning of a new Addison. The not so confident one. Addison is going to go through some major changes.

None of the other characters were in this chapter because there's only so much I can do with a broken jawed Mark. George and Callie… I gotta think about them. I had a scene semi-planned but I decided against it for now. And Burke and Cristina, you know my deal on them. But they'll probably make an appearance soon. Alex and Izzie… Next chapter.

Also next chapter there will be a slight jump in time. So that I can get Mark back into the story. Don't know quite how far I'm going to go yet, but I'll let you know.

Thanks for reading! Once again I'm so sorry for the long wait. Please review… I'm not going to use them as bribes… all I can say is that I got a nice review the other day and it kind of motivated me to update this. Because it let me know that people were still reading.

Ok, I'm done. LOL.

-Meredith