Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I’d buy Stuart Townsend, just because I could afford to. Alas, neither are mine.

Author’s Note: This is a companion piece to “My Girlfriend Is Gone”. I can’t help but poke fun at Harry…

I never thought I’d see the day that I was hiding from Harry James Potter. But he was driving me crazy. At first, I thought his attention was endearing, and sweet. After all, what girl wouldn’t love roses strewn across her bed and verses that accolade her “intense, gypsy-moth-beauty that just happened to turn wispy and almost grey in the morning light, and have you been getting enough sleep Gin?”? Or stated that her lips were as red as a lollypop upon which he would run under cold water, because in actuality, he hated cherry-flavoured sweets? Still, something was off. I didn’t think my boyfriend should compare my freckles to “ants marching across my picnic blanket, and quite ruining the whole thing - damn ants, I should crush them all!”

Of course, some boys just can’t be romantic, and I appreciated the effort. And I loved the fact that he was always by my side - emphasis on always. Harry tried to follow me into the bathroom once, and it was only because Ron caught him that he pretended he hadn’t noticed what room it was. I was beginning to be creeped out. One night when I fell asleep in the Common Room after too much studying, I awoke to his face right above mine, just staring at me. Needless to say, I made sure I slept I my dormitory every night thereafter.

It’s not just that, either. I get forty page love notes, and as sweet as it was at first, I admit that they became quite tedious to read night after night. I heard him ask Ron how to get into the girls’ dorms, and even Hermione thought he was going a bit overboard. True, he did get me chocolate, but he always managed to eat the ones that I wasn’t allergic to. I ended up in the Hospital Wing more times than I could count. Then came the baby talk.

“Ginny-winny, my little firefly, would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend? Please my little snoogy-woog? Oh, who’s the cutest girl in the world?”

I wanted to punch him. When Dean Thomas asks you if you want him to pretend to date you just to get Harry off your back, there is a problem.

No, I did not take Dean Thomas up on his offer! I am a highly strong and capable of dealing with this on my own. I already had a plan to put into action.

I hid.

Yes, you heard me. Whenever I saw him coming my way, I melted into a crowd, or ducked into a secret passageway, or simply turned and ran the opposite direction. He almost caught me by the lake once; I had a split second decision to make - my boyfriend who may or may not kiss me, or diving into the lake and hoping the Giant Squid wouldn’t eat me. Well, what can I say? The Giant Squid never insinuated that he would crush my freckles if I ever fell asleep in front of him. That earned me a few nights in the Hospital Wing, where I awake to him staring at me, once again. I’d had enough.

“Harry… I can’t do this anymore. I can’t lie to you about how I feel.”

“Oh, Ginny! I love you too!”

“No, that’s not what I meant. Harry, I..I…”

Well, I couldn’t tell him the truth. It would crush his already fragile spirit, and Harry Potter has enough problems as it is. And even he was bright enough to figure out what the phrase It isn’t you, it’s me really meant. I could only do one thing. Lie, lie, lie.

“What do you mean, Ginny? You don’t love me? How could you not love me? I did everything right! Is it because I didn’t ditch class to go to yours?”

“Harry! I love… I love…” Think, Ginny, think! My eye caught a passing figure, and I blurted out a name without realizing who it was, “I love Cho Chang!”

Crap.

Harry still hasn’t stopped following me, even though we’ve been broken up a week. I’m not sure if he fully realizes he should leave me alone, or whether he wants to see me and Cho together. Cringe. I need to get a new boyfriend, and fast.

…I wonder if it’s too late to take Dean up on his offer.