Author’s Note: Hey guys! It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about this story. Two years to be exact. But I was going through my stories folder on my computer and came across this. I read through the three chapters that I had posted already and said to myself

Some guide in following the story: Ryan's journal starts from late 2006 and goes into 2007. All of his flashbacks take place in 2006 unless otherwise stated. For example, chapter 3's flashback took place in November of 2005. I hope that helps the story flow better.

1/5/07

Hey Diary, it’s a new year, but don’t worry, I’m the same Ryan. So let’s get back to what I was telling you. After Troy told me that he was gay I didn’t tell him my feelings towards him. I was still kind of scared that he wouldn’t like me like that. But then after that things got strange. I mean, it seemed like everywhere I went, he was there. It was like he was following me, or was it the other way around? But whenever we were in the same place, he always started a conversation with me. I didn’t have a problem with it. It was actually nice to have a decent conversation with someone other than my sister. But then people started to talk. Sure, I don’t care what others think, but this was different. They weren’t talking about me per sé, I mean I was still in their conversation, but it seemed to be more about Troy actually wanting to talk to me, the school queer.

I don’t know if Troy heard anything that was said because he doesn’t seem like the type to pay attention to gossip, but if he did hear something, it didn’t bother him.

So, one day, during one of our strange conversations, I decided to find out why Troy was trying to be all buddy-buddy with me. And I had some ideas…

“Troy…why are you talking to me?” I asked bluntly. It was a nice sunny day and we were sitting on the bleachers on the football field. You see, we somehow always ended up in a place that wasn’t currently occupied. Either he found it or I found it. I still haven’t figured out if he’s following me or vice versa.

“Uh…because you’re cool.” He answered, not quite sure where I was going with this.

“Really? That’s weird, because I wasn’t cool to you a couple of months ago”. It was now April; it had been two months since Troy told me his secret.

He hadn’t said anything after that. It looked like he was thinking of a good excuse.

“Troy, are you afraid that I’m going to spill the beans about you being gay? So is that why you’re trying to be my friend?” That had to be it. No one really tried to be my friend unless they wanted something.

“No, no!” He quickly retorted. “I don’t think you’re that type of person. You said that you wouldn’t say anything and I believe you.”

Wow, he thinks that I’m a good person. “Thanks, but that doesn’t really answer my question.”

“Yeah…” He got this confused look on his face. It was very sexy looking.

“Yeah?” I urged him on.

“ You see, Ryan, the reason is that…gosh this is embarrassing…but I think that I’m trying to be your friend because I see you as the only person right now that I can relate to and actually, this may seem kind of cheesy, but be myself around.” He let out a huge breath after that. I shook my head.

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed. I mean, I guess that I’m flattered that you can relate to me.” I smiled.

“Well, I’m flattered that you’re flattered.” He said and we both laughed. It was really nice.

“Why are you talking to me?” Troy asked after a few moments of silence.

“Why do you ask?”

“I just want to know. I mean, I haven’t exactly been nice to you in the past. I’ve said some hurtful things to you.”

“You didn’t say anything to me that hasn’t been said fifty billion times.” I pointed out. But he was sort of right. Things that he said to me hurt a little more than when others said them. I didn’t want him to think of me that way because of the way that I feel about him.

“Yeah…”

“But,” I added, “I think that I responded to you because you actually seemed kind of genuine even though I thought that you were only doing this to keep yourself safe. So thanks for being one of the few people to treat me like a human being.”

“Likewise.”

So, after that things between us were no longer strange. I wanted to be around him and he wanted to be around me. Of course Troy got some flack from it. Chad was the only person who actually said something about the whole situation to his face. He surprisingly didn’t have a problem with Troy hanging out with me, I mean the guy hated me. I guess that makes him a good best friend, because otherwise I would have never understood why they were friends. But Troy told me that he told Chad that he just wanted to expand his horizons in friends and Chad sort of understood that.

This is it for now Diary. I have a paper to write. See you tomorrow.

-Ryan

Author’s Note: I hope that this made sense. It’s been awhile. Please review! I’ll try to have a new chapter up soon.