Author: Dailenna PM
[Royai] Roy has inadvertantly unleashed his fanfiction counterpart upon the world.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Romance - Roy M. & Riza H. - Chapters: 18 - Words: 49,557 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 12-03-06 - Published: 05-14-06 - Status: Complete - id: 2938668
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. For the main part, they belong to Arakawa Hiromu, but the Roy look-a-like belongs to the many fanfic writers out there who blatantly OOC him. I wanted to see what would happen if one OOC character was let loose around the others acting normally. So far, I have discovered that OOCness is an infectious disease . . . All "in" character-ness is in relation to the manga.
"Seeing Double" or "One Flame Starts a Fire; Two Flames Start a Furnace"by Dailenna
Chapter One: Burning houses, rescues and unwanted attentions
The house was crumbling as it burned. Sections of the roof had already caved in. Surrounded by flames of his own making, Colonel Roy Mustang had no way of escape. He could attempt a getaway from the fires – maybe smash a window and leap from the balcony to the ground. If there was a balcony. And if the fall didn't drop him right into the middle of some more flames. He had defeated his foe, but now was all the effort worth it?
Yes, he decided. If only because it had prevented other deaths, it was worth just two more.
A cry from outside struck his ears. He could hear a familiar voice calling him. His faithful Lieutenant was outside, waiting for him to come. Of course – she would always be there. Mustang gritted his teeth, his indecision clearing. If he didn't go out there she would come looking for him, and likely also perish. He didn't need her death on his hands too.
He couldn't just go out and jump, he knew that much. Further flames were not what he needed right now. Instead, he picked up a stray book from the floor beside him. The fight had toppled a few shelves before he had snapped so carelessly, and this tome was the closest thing at hand at the moment.
With no other medium available to him, Mustang used a finger to wipe his blood precisely on the cover of the book, creating an array. He would douse the flames, and then hopefully someone would be able to come and find him – he didn't have the energy to go to them, now that he thought about it. They would have to come to him, after all – but not until he had done this.
Pressing his hands to the book, the array emitted a lightning-blue glow. All of a sudden, Mustang felt dizzy – it was too much effort for him to do even this. His eyesight dimmed, and he fell unconscious, his arm wiping over the array before the light had completely subsided.
She burst out of the car haphazardly, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc right behind her, and more efficient here than he would ever be in the office. They only had one squad with them, but that should have been more than enough. There was no need for all of the eighty men they commanded between them.
Hawkeye approached the house at a jog. "Colonel!" If he was in there somewhere, he would hear her. She didn't know any reason as to why he wouldn't be there, but all the same, hoped that he was somehow out of the house.
Hesitant to send the recruits into a burning building, Hawkeye waited impatiently for a response. "Colonel!" He would call back, wouldn't he? He would if he could. But what if he was unconscious? What if the other man had had the upper hand of the fight?
Clenching her fists and her jaw with equal aggravation, Hawkeye was nigh on barking out the command for the soldiers to enter when a burst of blue light shone from the upper left window. He was there, and still able to use alchemy, by the looks of it. She breathed a sigh of relief. They could wait for him, then – he would only be a few moments.
The flames around his section of the house seemed to subside a little – the blaze didn't seem so large, but after another drawn out heartbeat, they sprung up just as high as they had been before. Hawkeye started forwards in confusion. What had just happened?
She spun back and yelled for the soldiers as she removed her gun from its holster in case the enemy had not been entirely vanquished. "We're going to go in! The Colonel is upstairs. Lieutenant Havoc, you stay here with half the men and try to douse this fire – I'll take the others to find the Colonel."
Without waiting for a reply, she ran forwards and sent a powerful kick to the front door of the house. It burst back, weakened by the heat in the air. A few of the men behind her, she darted into the house, one wrist to her mouth as she tried to filter the smoke out with a sleeve.
The staircase was almost immediately to her left. Testing the steps quickly as she ascended, she tried not to close her eyes as the smoke stung them. They had started to weep, and she almost didn't see the figure before her until she bumped into him at the top of the stairs.
The Colonel! She thought with relief as she looked up to see his dark hair and eyes. He looked as confused as she did, but when she motioned downstairs, he nodded. She turned and trotted down, and out the door, gasping in the relatively fresh air with her coughing soldiers.
Havoc looked over to see her and a smile appeared on his face. She gave him a quick wave to let him know that she had found the Colonel, and looked back.
Mustang was just stepping out of the door, and coming towards her now. She could see him carrying someone in his arms. Had someone been inside the house when it went up, or was that the man he had been fighting? She couldn't tell until he drew closer, and she saw the military uniform on the man. A soldier had been inside? Or had one of her men inhaled the smoke and passed out?
No – this man had blood on his uniform. He was injured and broken where the Colonel was not. The contrast struck her harshly all of a sudden. Hadn't Mustang just been fighting? Shouldn't he have injuries? He was good, but not this good.
As he drew closer and she could see the unconscious man's face, it was neither the uniform nor the injuries that shocked her the most. What shocked her most was that the man lolling about unconsciously in Colonel Mustang's arms was an exact replica of Mustang himself.
"Go get a stretcher," Mustang called out towards the soldiers. "Can't you see he's been wounded?" He staggered further forwards, bringing the man towards the group.
"Yessir." Two men sped away.
Hawkeye stepped closer to peer at the face of the look-a-like, and then back at Colonel Mustang. Mustang's mouth formed a grim line and he gave a short laugh at her perplexed expression. "Eerie, isn't it, Riza?"
He looked at her sceptically. "Don't tell me now that you can't see the similarities. Not after you've been staring at him bug-eyed." Mustang heaved the man up, attempting to gain a better grip on the slipping fellow.
She remained silent.
After a pause, the unconscious man gave a shuddering gasp, and she saw the soldiers returning with the stretcher. The man was laid out upon it, and taken away. They would take him to the hospital, and likely put someone on guard to ask him a few questions when he awoke. Now that she thought of it, she should probably ask the Colonel about him.
"Now that I'm rid of that dead weight –" Riza's eyes widened as she felt his hand grasp hers tightly, and she was pulled closer to him. Finding herself standing chest to chest with him, she stiffened, and had time to mark the suggestive glint in his eyes before a voice interrupted. A flicker of annoyance crossed Mustang's face as he turned to Havoc. Hawkeye extricated her hand from Mustang's hurriedly.
Havoc's expression was one of shock as he saw this. Was he mistaken, or had he almost witnessed the Colonel and Hawkeye kissing? No, he must have been seeing things. Everyone knew that they had it bad for each other, but theirs was a sort of unspoken agreement of "not yet".
"Colonel, I saw you coming out with a body, but I was too busy to come immediately. Are there any more inside, do you think?" he asked in a business-like manner, ready to send some men in to search if the Colonel said the word.
Mustang looked around in boredom and shrugged. "I don't know. I woke up in there, and saw that git on the ground, so when Riza found me, I thought it'd be best if I brought him with me when I made my triumphant escape from the fiery furnace."
Hawkeye's eyes narrowed, and Havoc met her gaze with one raised eyebrow.
"So, time to leave then, I suppose, Havoc?"
He was still referring to Havoc correctly, Hawkeye noted. "Back to Headquarters, sir," she said in rigid tones.
Hawkeye and Havoc almost jumped at the size of the groan their commanding officer let out then. "Not paperwork! You can't be making me do paperwork after all this, Riza!" She clenched her fists and tried not to remark. "At least tell me where we are!"
At this she and Havoc both whipped their heads towards the ever-increasingly aggravating Colonel. "You don't know where we are?" Havoc asked.
"Sir, you were just attempting to apprehend Kenneth the Mauler. Amestris' number one criminal as of last month," Hawkeye told him forcefully.
"Now, I'm sure that I would remember something like that, but the last thing I remember before this was last night." He sent a smouldering glance towards Hawkeye.
Havoc thought his brains were about to turn into liquid. Maybe he had interrupted them at the wrong time. He really didn't think he wanted to hear this if the Colonel and Hawkeye were a couple. He looked to Hawkeye, and became certain that if looks could kill, the whole world would be non-existent by now. Her eyes bored into the Colonel's face with shock and anger. She mustn't have wanted their relationship to get out.
"What?" Hawkeye spat. "You are out of your mind if you think I have allowed you to do so much as lay a hand on me."
Mustang's brow furrowed in confusion, and then he sighed and stepped towards her. "Look, they would have found out anywa–"
"In fact," she cut him off, "the other one is the real Colonel, isn't he? I don't know who you are, but you're in the custody of the military now," she hissed.
Other one? What was this? Havoc looked between them. This was one major lovers' tiff, and he didn't want to be the one to put either of them in their right minds, seeing as he'd likely be the next target. "Well, whatever's going on, we still have to return to HQ. Colonel, you can try to remember what you can along the way, but we have to be going."
The two superior officers buttoned their mouths momentarily, and with one party attempting to give appeasing looks, and the other glaring daggers, they piled into the car.
"Lieutenant Hawkeye, maybe I should drive." Havoc said from his seat in the back.
"Just buckle up. We don't need to take any longer than we have already," she snapped as she started up the car.
From where he sat, Havoc could see the sidelong glances Mustang gave Hawkeye. At first he tried to avoid seeing anything by looking out the window, and he enjoyed a good two minutes of peaceful scenery before the car jolted and the wheels screeched as they came to a halt. Hawkeye's door burst open.
"That's it! I'm not driving anymore." She climbed into the back, ignoring Havoc's surprised glance.
Mustang put an arm over the back of the seat. "Do you want me to sit in the back with you?" A smirk littered his face. Havoc shuddered, and was relieved when Hawkeye replied icily in the negative.
"Mustang – whoever you are – you drive."
He shrugged and slid over to the driver's seat, and they started moving along again.
Hawkeye stared at the back of the seat in front of her, trying not to think about the man sitting in it. She wiped a hand across her leg, as though that would remove the feeling of his handprint where he had begun his attempt to fondle her. This was most definitely not her Colonel. He would never try something so base and humiliating, surely.
She ignored Havoc's curious gaze and mentally took apart and cleaned her gun in an attempt to calm herself, and in absence of the cleaning agent she used for it.