ZOMG PIT!1
By Hoogiman

Chapter Seven: Link renews his love

"Flowers for Zelda!" said a delivery man, waiting outside Zelda's door.

"Oh! Flowers!" said Zelda, excitedly. "Who are they from?"

Link spied in from outside the room, looking hopeful.

The delivery man handed over the bouquet of flowers to Zelda.

"From, you know who…" read Zelda, off a tag hanging off one of the flowers.

"Aww!" said Zelda.

Pit walked into Zelda's room.

"Hey Zelda!" said Pit.

"Thanks for the flowers!" said Zelda.

"What flowers?" replied Pit, confused.

"Oh Pit, you're so cute!" said Zelda, hugging. "This bouquet just makes me want to fall even deeper in love with you, deeper than before you sent me this bouquet of flowers."

Link shook angrily outside the room, clenching a fist. "But they were my flowers! For Zelda!"

"Thanks, I guess," said Pit. "Maybe I forgot that I delivered you that lovely, expensive bouquet of flowers!"

Link started punching the wall.

Later…

Link knocked on Zelda's door.

"Hi Zelda!" said Link.

"Oh… uh… hi Link…" said Zelda.

"I just wanted to have you hear a romantic song, composed by me," said Link, in a romantic way.

Link gave the signal to the conductor of a big orchestra to play a song.

Zelda started to hear the beautiful song.

"Aww, thanks," said Zelda, "that's so romantic!"

The national noise parade forced its way into Smash Mansion, blocking off Link's song, forcing horrible screeching sounds into Zelda's ears.

"That sounds awful!" screamed Zelda, blocking out her ears.

"That was not my song," said Link, angrily, "that was the random noise blurted out from the noise parade!"

Later…

Link walked up to Zelda.

"Zelda, I've been considering this for a long time now," said Link, "it's been a very hard decision having to ask you this, but I think that it's necessary for you to ask me this question. I've been pondering this since that newcomer Pit came in and took away the love from me, and I do just hope that our love is not no longer! I beg of you, to answer for me this question that has been aching my heart every single moment that I think about it, every single moment I breathe, every single moment I am standing still, pondering for your answer! Will we have a life together, or will we not, and will my heart be broken in the process? Zelda, it is time to ask you this… Do you love me?"

…

…

…

Silence.

…

…

"Hell no!" shouted Zelda.

"I hate you!" said Link, picking up his sword, stabbing Zelda in the head. "You betrayed me!"

Pit walked in.

"You murdered Zelda!" screamed a horrified Pit.

Pit fumbled around under his tunic for a bow, then picked out his 'bow of death'. Pit shot Link, killing him.

Everyone walked in, gasped to see the two dead bodies.

"Uh… uh…" said Pit, nervously.

Pit shot his 'bow of forgetfulness' at everyone.

Everyone forgot the whole last week.

"Who are you?" asked Bowser. "And why are there two bodies there?"

"Uh…" said Pit, nervously, "I'm not real."

"But everyone else can see you!" said Bowser.

"Uh… group hallucinations."

"Oh," said everybody, understandingly.

THE END

What happened to the cat? We'll never find out! AAAH!1