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Daydream
Disclaimer: I do not own FFX or FFX-2.
A/N: Hey, again. I fixed all of the errors that I could find, and edited the flow a bit. I hope it strikes your fancy, and I promise that this is the last time I'll shove this in your faces.
000
1
Scabbing knees and machina metal: They were pleasant sensations to Rikku. Fingers, quick like desert birds, pattered across the walls of her home, feet clamoring along the grating in a noisy tune of her own desire. She could pretend that she could fly here, where the metal was shiny and the hallway was an endless measure of time. For a moment, while her small feet glided along the ground and her eyes were closed in infinite ecstasy, she could imagine the wide-open skies and the breeze whisking past as cool and free as anything.
Her spirit grew wings, and her fingers were feather soft.
Flying aside her blurry reflection, Rikku dreamt, and her heart was at home.
000
2
Hot sand and slipping water: They were never far from her. Rikku pushed her feet into the dunes and watched as the sand flew away. The pulse of the desert was around her, and the air was moving with it.
In the distance, she could see Home, in hiding but as tall as the sun.
Her face was brown, her cheeks red, and her heart was pounding in her chest. As she flew across her endless playground, the oasis was always at the edge of her mind, and its name at the tip of her tongue: Sanctuary.
There, she met people who shimmered with the light of the sun and smiled like laughing skulls. Her feet tapped in soggy sand and grainy mud, dancing with the mirages and grinning in the daylight heat.
She was free there, and always dreaming.
000
3
Smiling eyes and frowning faces: Somehow, they always mixed. Pink tinged her cheeks as she bit them inward, trying to prevent a grin from spreading across her face.
Gippal had kissed her, and at twelve she felt like the world was shifting. Her father had scowled, and her mother had laughed when she’d told them... but Rikku was in love. She felt her heart flutter he looked at her, and her cheek still tingled from his kiss.
Gazing out into the sunset, she tried not to pick at the scab on her hand, and thought of everything from a wedding to the brightness of his smile. In her mind, she felt something shift from daydream flying to something more.
But in her new dreams, her feet never touched the ground.
000
4
Cold schedules and perky grins: There was always one without the other. She held a clipboard in her hands, and felt the metal glide smoothly along her palms. Her mind wandered, ducking in and out of secret thoughts, and never staying fully focused on the task at hand.
She was fifteen, and in charge of her first mission.
Zanarkand was such a lonely place; too cold and too dark. Rikku watched the rubble float by, and tried not to think of the people who had built them. The stars were out, and the water was choppy alongside the boat.
Watching the crew sway with the deck, Rikku could easily imagine them dancing along it, with gowns like ruffled flowers and suits like murky water. In her dreaming mind, they shuffled and skipped, and her own feet slid in rhythm with the illusion. Quietly, she watched as their objective loomed ahead, and returned her gaze back toward the clipboard.
She could imagine people still lived there.
000
5
Endless miles and glaring eyes: She didn’t let either of them get to her. Her new companions were tired and grumpy, and her smile was always there for them even when a sob was at the back of her throat.
She had to save her.
Rikku saw her cousin’s eyes. There was sadness there, too deep, and joy too real for someone doomed to die. Tidus’ own eyes were always upon her, and Rikku knew that they were in something like love.
She could imagine what they would be like in twenty years, but imagining seemed rather useless now, didn’t it?
...But she could still see a future.
000
6
Red coats and swinging swords: She dreamt of both of them. For the first time in a long time, she felt herself trying to center her wandering mind. For the mission, for her cousin.
For herself.
Every now and again she would catch a glimpse- red, and gray, and earthen brown- and in the back of her mind her other thoughts protested at being cast aside.
What did he think of her? Why was he so mean? Could she make him smile?
In a rush that would make her blink, reality would come back and she’d blush at her stupid, girly crush.
But at night, she only thought of him.
000
7
Held in breaths and averted eyes: She did both of those things for him. She didn’t scream when she saw monsters anymore, or gaze at the sky when she was walking. She was tough now, she was grown up… and she didn’t think he’d notice when she stuck her fingers into his pie.
He glared at her and she smiled and giggled, the cool air of Macalania Forest surrounding her. With her sticky finger in her mouth and her elbows resting on the cool crystal she tried not to think too hard about him and more about Yuna.
How hard it must be for her. How brave she was. How wonderful his smile looked-
Adamantly, she cleared her thoughts and gripped the sides of her tree branch, staring up only at the covered skyline… Never at him. For a while, she thought she could do it. Just a minute of not thinking of him, then another, throw in a couple minutes of Yuna mulling and-
He did have a nice smile, though.
000
8
Twisted ankles and cold air: Never a convenient combination for someone like her. Rikku looked at the flustering snow, and the rocky Gagazet trail, trying to shut her eyes against the cold. That stupid rock, jumping out at her like that…
She tried not to limp. Ahead of her, they walked on. Slowly, slowly she drug, her ankle throbbing and her pouch empty of potions. She could do without it, though, she thought. It was just a twist… just a small, little twist.
She sucked in a breath as her weight fell upon it. Auron stopped.
Stupid thing…
“Rikku,” he said, and she tried not to shiver at the sound of his voice.
“Yes?” Smiling, always.
“Here.” He tossed her something, and turned back toward the slowly ascending trail, her fingers left behind to stumble with air and glass. Gently, she poured some of the potion upon her swollen limb, and watched as the redness faded into white.
She stood and balanced herself out, bouncing on both feet equally. Running, she tried to catch up.
That night she dreamt of Red-clad knights.
000
9
Pyrefly trails and weeping friends: Things she could never handle. She felt his eyes upon her, and something in her snapped. Suddenly her daydreams were sprouting before her left and right, and he was at the centerfold, holding her mind together with strings of wings and oasis dancers.
As the sparkle of him left her eyes, and Yuna stood with sparkles of her own, she suddenly felt so tired. The lights dimmed, the world slowed, and suddenly she was nothing but happy with the world’s new joy. It was all so simple when you didn’t think of anything larger than a moment. When you didn’t think of your crushes disappearing, and your trueloves being dead. When you took a moment by the thread, and if you balanced carefully enough upon the knife’s edge, things could never seem so bad.
That night her dreams were made of blood.
000
10
Long hair and whimsical living: It was what she had always wanted. There were no rules, no boundaries. Just now and now. No later, no then. Yuna was almost happy, now, and Rikku was on autopilot. Speaking without thought, acting without contemplation. It was one moment another, the world in a glance.
She sat upon the deck of the ship, and felt the wind whip through her braids. It was so free up there…
She could almost pretend that she didn’t hear his voice.
Nothing is ever quite as simple as it seems, and Rikku tried not to think about it. She heard his voice almost constantly now, telling her what to do, where to go. How to help, how to act, how to live…
She didn’t want to hear it.
If she tried hard enough, and thought little enough, she could ignore it. Go do what you want to do, Rikku, she’d tell herself, He’s not here to boss you around anymore. And she would.
And at night she’d visit him in her dreams, and she’d always be apologizing.
000
11
Broken machines and living people: The world was at peace again. Vegnagun was gone, Shuyin and Lenne only memories. Rikku ran her hands through her hair and tried not to bounce her heels too hard upon the ground.
Peace. It was a thing she didn’t feel. Yuna, Tidus, Wakka and Lulu, Nooj and Leblanc. Auron whispered to her, and she whispered to herself.
It wasn’t fair.
She tried not to think about it, honestly, not to daydream, not to remember… but it was so hard sometimes.
Auron whispered, Rikku didn’t listen.
And in her dreams she still flew.
000
Fin
000