And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

The rain beat down on the busy streets of New York on the July night. Businessmen and classily dressed people ran for shelter from the storm, while others let the rain soak into their skin. Puddles splashed underfoot Jack as he blindly trudged down a street. His destination was unknown, not even he knew where his feet would take him that evening. His hair was matted down to his face, black silk strands on a peach canvas of perfectly proportioned cover-up. Jack was thankful that he'd worn waterproof makeup that night; otherwise his face would look as if it'd been through a mudslide. His eyeliner and mascara was smudged as it was from the constant use of his hand to wipe tears from the corners of his eyes; the side of his hand was blackened as a result. His green sweater and jeans were also soaked, and if he didn't change he'd probably catch a cold. But that wasn't on Jack's mind right now. He was thinking about Will.

Across town in a suburb of Manhattan, Will was leaning out his balcony window and breathing in the night air, cooled by the constant patter of raindrops. His own hair was soaked from running through the rain, and the blanket he had draped over himself was beginning to get wet. He'd changed into his pajamas as soon as he'd gotten home, and now clutched a glass of red wine to his chest as he stared blindly out into the city night. He wouldn't catch a cold, but colds weren't on his mind now. He was thinking about Jack.

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

The rain grew fiercer, but only the rain; the wind stayed at a breeze. No thunder or lighting pervaded, just a constant, dull rain storm. Jack's mind was like a hurricane however, category five and mounting.

How could I have been so foolish? I waited for more than 15 years, what made me think this night would be any different? I hadn't had a friend's night out with him in so long. That was the reason. I'd missed him so much, and we had never been that busy to be so much apart before. I overreacted and forgot what we usually act like. That must be it.

But that kiss… he thought to himself. That kiss was magical. Jack recalled every second, the first kiss that he had enacted was blurry, but the second one, the one that Will had started, sparked energy through Jack's body. The first taste, every sensation, every movement of their tongues and lips; Jack had never felt that during a kiss before. Every hair stood on end, every particle of his being raced and danced with joy throughout it, and he never wanted to let it go. But eventually, like all kisses, this one ended.

Then the pain… he thought again. Will had bolted, a confused look shadowing his face as he turned and raced into the night. Jack tried to remember if there was pain on that face, and he saw none. No malice or hate either, just shock, slight confusion, and there, in the smallest of smiles, love. Love he thought again. And that is what has me so confused. I saw love there, but it ran from me, and I think I've lost it forever. Jack had spent a decade and a half chasing Will around New York City, and he now realized that the love he had seen that night had always been there, but had never been exposed so fully as through that kiss.

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I can't believe I ran Will thought as he sipped the wine in his glass that was slowly being permeated by random drops of rainwater. Drinking wine on a balcony during a rain storm seemed stupid to him, but he had done a lot of stupid things that night, and he figured, why stop now? He kept hiding the glass under his blanket, but every time he pulled it out to drink, more water entered, and eventually, Will set the glass down on the table next to him. He watched it fill and bubble over, the red of the wine slowly seeping away as the dull grey of rainwater replaced it.

He couldn't sit on the chairs on the balcony; they were already soaked by the rainstorm. Will didn't want to leave the rain. He liked the feeling it gave him; he wasn't wearing footwear, and his feet was both warmed and cooled by the little puddle forming under him. His legs and torso had been protected by the wool blanket, but it had already soaked through and now he was wet to the bone again. He didn't mind though. He let the blanket slip from his shoulders and felt the true force of the storm beat down on him. Feeling the tendrils of water curl down the ends of his hair, he continued to think.

What am I going to say to Jack when I see him again? What was I thinking? I should've ended it there, stopped after the first kiss and brushed it off as an easy mistake, even though we both knew it was on purpose. But no, I had to make sure that-

What was I making sure of? I don't have feelings for Jack, do I? He stared downwards at the streets below, then closed his eyes and pictures Jack. Jack, the klutz, the paranoid, hyper, flamboyantly gay best friend of his. Jack, who showed him 15 years ago what it meant to love someone despite their sex. Jack, who'd told him he had loved him a year after they met, and had been rejected by Will. The man pondered this for a moment. And now I know he wasn't kidding, and those feelings had never left him. But were they ever in me?

Will smiled and recalled the times when they'd had "couple" incidents, when people mistook them as a couple, or something happened that made them ponder the possibilities. Will had eaten a whole box of rocky road ice cream the night after the incident with Psychic Sue and her prediction of him spending the rest of his life with a man named Jack. Usually ice cream of that sort was reserved for breakups and heartache, so both he and Grace had found it odd for him to curl up on the couch with it. Grace had asked him if he'd broken up with a secret boyfriend, and Will had laughed it off as being just an irregularity. But why, when he slept that night, did he picture what it might be like with Jack? A dream of a small apartment in the city, two kids and a dog, Grace visiting on weekends with Karen, a bedroom, and… Will would usually shudder at the last part, a semi-pornographic scene involving him and Jack. But now he pondered it, as if analyzing the metaphorical meanings of a long winded poem. And at the end of it, with them curled up together in bed… Will's heart was moved by the scene, and he drank it in with true joy.

I do have feelings for him. What had taken 15 years to analyze and form into a coherent thought took a second to admit. And it didn't feel wrong or awkward, it felt warm and comforting. It drove back the cold of the night rain and filled him with so much emotion that he began to cry. He leaned his head on the railing and sobbed, letting out feelings of both pain and happiness. The happiness came from finally admitting it and embracing it, but the pain came from realizing that he'd hurt Jack so much in the past, and tonight had hurt him even more. And now he realized, if he didn't want to hurt Jack again, Will would have to tell him.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

Jack's cell phone was off as he continued to walk, making it impossible for Will to call and… do what? Who knows, but I don't want to find out right now. Finally, after an hour, he collapsed onto the stoop of an apartment building and huddled there, sobbing into his knees. There were no people around to see Jack's pain, and he was glad, because he felt so vulnerable, and didn't like feeling that way. What if I'm wrong? he thought to himself. What if he doesn't love me? I don't want to lose his friendship… no Jack McFarland, you've wasted enough time crying over Will and trying to convince him, you need to move on.

But I can't he realized. I need to tell Will the truth. If he rejects me, maybe I can move on. But I can't just let him go on not knowing. I can't lie to myself or him anymore. Jack looked upwards as the rain pelted down. The sky was blank of stars, but if he closed his eyes, thousands appeared on the inside of his mind. They soothed him; Jack had always loved the night sky. But their comfort didn't last long, and Jack put his head on his knees again. If I'm wrong, then I don't know what I'll do.

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Will raced down the street, back towards the area of Ducky's Donuts. After several attempts to call Jack over his cell phone, and then cursing the phone company that designed the off button for them, Will threw on a loose outfit of sneakers, jeans, and a T-shirt, grabbed his jacket, and had run out of the apartment. He knew that Jack probably wouldn't have gone far; whenever he was depressed, Jack stayed put. He's more reliable than I thought Will thought to himself, giving a half-hearted chuckle. It died in his throat at the thought entering his mind as he walked.

What if he hates me? Will asked himself. I just bolted on him; he probably thinks I rejected him. What if he never wants to speak to me again? The thoughts weren't washed away by the copious amounts of rain, and the distant beginnings of thunder and lighting flashes only heightened his fears. The mood of the city was that of tension, and the cracks of thunder hung on the already thick air.

I've got to believe it's not true. I've got to believe.

There he was. Will had spotted Jack on the corner stoop of an apartment. The younger man was clutching the ticket stub from that night and staring at it. Will couldn't tell if he was crying, or if it was just the rain, but he didn't care. He avoided almost getting run over by a cab, and crossed over the street to Jack. The younger man continued to stare at the stub as Will knelt down in front of him to get to eye level.

"Jack?" he said softly. The younger man cringed, and his eyes closed, tears peeking out of their corners.

"I'm sorry Will, I should've have done that, I-"

Jack was cut off by Will placing a finger against his mouth to quiet him. His chin was lifted up slowly to face Will, but his eyes remained closed.

"Jack, please look at me." Jack heard the tone of Will's voice. It wasn't mad, it wasn't cruel. Will was begging him, and Jack could tell he was doing it with every fiber of his being. He slowly opened his eyes.

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Will's face stared back at him, his eyes filled with a mix of sadness and joy. His mouth smiled softly, and looked inviting to Jack. He was silently horrified with himself about thinking about how arousing Will looked at a time like this, but the though was cut off as Will moved in and kissed him. Both of their eyes closed, absorbing every sensation of the kiss. But it didn't end, and Will moved in further, pushing himself towards Jack. The men slowly moved back until Jack was lying flat against the steps, Will softly kissing him.

They broke apart, and this time it was Will's turn to cry.

"I'm sorry I caused you so much pain Jack. I'm sorry I couldn't see until now that I love you so much." Both men cried, and then kissed again. "I'm sorry you had to wait so long for this."

Jack shook his head, and then smiled. "It was worth every second of waiting" he said softly, moving up to kiss him again.

Will grasped Jack by the torso and slowly pulled him up until they both stood. They kissed in the rain, letting the water wash away their fears and pains until all they could feel was each other. Jack broke the kisses suddenly and buried his head in Will's chest.

"Thank you" he sobbed into Will's shirt. Will didn't respond, he just reached his arms around the younger man and held him, kissing his forehead tenderly to comfort him.

Eventually, their eyes ran out of tears, and they were left with only smiles. Jack reached his arms around Will's waist and looked up at him, a radiant grin curled on his lips. They stood there, watching the raindrops slowly disperse, until they fell no more. In the silence the night now held, Jack whispered into Will's ear.

"Thank you Will Truman. Thank you for finally seeing me."

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am