“The End of Innocence”

Eventually CJ decided to go home. The guys and CJ spent two nights in the office sleeping and that was about as much as any of them could take. From my point of view CJ seemed to be doing a little bit better everyday. Of course she still had the funeral to contend with, but I took her going home as a good sign.

To tell the truth, which I strive to do in all my tales, those nights spent in the office after Simon’s death was kind of the beginning of the end. Don’t get me wrong, being in the White House was an honor and a privilege. The quality of work didn’t diminish, nor did the importance of what was going on, but something just felt…off after Simon. Everyone seemed to start to go in their own direction. I still have stories from my point of view of course, but they are fewer and far between. I felt like the glory days of working in the White House had sort of ended with Simon’s death.

Of course, I digress. This is about what happened the day of Simon’s funeral. CJ’s usually bustling office didn’t seem as busy as usual after she returned from the funeral. I suspected that people were giving her a break, but I honestly think she would have been grateful for something to do. I had resigned myself to a slightly boring day when the phone rang. CJ, not having the energy to even lift the phone, put the call on speakerphone, which worked out incredibly well for me.

“CJ Cregg,” she said in a tone that could almost be equated to a sigh.

“Hey CJ, its Danny.”

Danny! We hadn’t heard from Danny in quite a while. Of course things were different now. I had been privy to a few of CJ’s more private moments with Simon and I knew that she had feelings for him. I wondered how this would affect her relationship with Danny. Of course I wasn’t even really sure what kind of relationship they had anymore.

“Danny,” CJ said with the hint of a melancholy smile.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m doing okay,” she replied. “How are you?”

“I’m good. Listen, when I read the paper the other day…I’m really sorry about Simon Donovan.”

“Yeah, me too” CJ said. I saw her eyes get a little watery, but her voice didn’t betray it.

“I wish I would’ve known what was going on with you,” Danny said. I wondered how much the “real world” had heard of CJ’s plight with a stalker. I figured, once he was caught that it would be news, but I wasn’t really sure if it was common knowledge. Based on Danny’s comment I assumed it wasn’t until a few days ago.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Danny asked again.

“Yeah, I am now,” CJ replied. For the most part I thought she was telling the truth.

“I had no idea that you were dealing with threats,” Danny continued. “When I think about that guy and what he was…I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“Yeah,” CJ said fidgeting in her chair. “It wasn’t exactly a career highlight.”

“You should have called me,” Danny said finally.

I caught a hint of something in his voice. I’m not really sure what you’d call it. Hurt? Regret? Who am I to classify human emotion anyway? I’m just a fish.

“I was a little busy,” CJ reminded him.

“I’d have liked to have known what was going on instead of reading it in the paper,” Danny pressed.

“I probably would have told you if you were still around,” CJ replied.

I had thought this might be a nice conversation, but suddenly, as was the tendency, the conversation between CJ and Danny seemed to become a little antagonistic. CJ would say it was the nature of the beast. A Press Secretary and a reporter couldn’t really be friends, let along anything more.

“I have e-mail,” Danny said. “I wondered if you changed your address lately.”

“I work in the White House Danny. There are days when I don’t have time to respond to personal e-mail. Not to mention the fact that Secret Service impounded my computer after the first threat.”

“I know. Sorry,” he said almost sheepishly. “I just…I might not be there, but I can still worry about you.”

I saw the look on CJ’s face. It was a mixture of flattery and sadness if that was even possible. I could sense that while she was happy to hear from Danny and grateful for his concern, she wasn’t quite ready to leap back into the usual banter that was usually between them.

“I appreciate that Danny,” CJ said. “I really do, but you don’t have to worry for me.”

“Not anymore.”

“Yeah.”

“Look,” Danny said, his voice softening, “I just wanted to tell you that if you needed to talk to anyone, anyone not professional or working in the White House, you can talk to me.”

“Because you don’t cover the White House right now?” CJ asked. She always had her defenses up, even at a time when a friend reaching out to her was probably just the thing she needed.

“No, because believe it or not, I care about you and it has absolutely nothing to do with a story.”

I almost felt sorry for Danny. I’m sure he knew that she was upset because of the stalker, but what he didn’t know was that CJ had been just about ready to give her heart away to another man. He couldn’t have known. No one really knew, but I felt like his attempt to reach out to her was falling on deaf ears. I didn’t figure she’d be ready to resume any kind of relationship, even witty banter, with Danny for some time. But then, CJ surprised me.

“I know,” she said, her tone softening along with her eyes. “I’m sorry. It’s been a rough couple of weeks and I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

“It’s okay.” I could almost picture him shrugging.

“It’s not,” CJ said. “This really isn’t about you or me. I’m just…Simon’s funeral was today.”

“He was your lead agent?”

“Yeah,” she replied with a hint of double-meaning in her affirmation of Danny’s question. “The case was over and he walked into a convenience store for a candy bar. He just wanted a snack.”

“Yeah.”

“He was at Rosslyn,” CJ told him.

“Really?” Was he hurt?”

“Yeah,” CJ said with a scoff. “He made it out of Rosslyn alive, but not a convenience store.”

“I’m really sorry Claudia Jean,” Danny said.

“Yeah, me too.”

“If there’s anything I can do,” Danny offered.

“Believe it or not your call helped.”

“Yeah? It didn’t seem like it was going too well for a minute there.”

“Yeah well, I appreciate it even if it might not seem like it.”

“Well then I’ll try to remember to do it more often,” he said.

“Are you…will you be covering White House news any time soon?” CJ asked.

“Not that I know of,” Danny said. “They’ve got me doing all this stuff on Ritchie lately.”

“Because you’re a closet Republican?” CJ asked trying to joke.

“Right,” he replied. “I think they’re still a little mad that I turned down the editor job and requested a change of scenery. I wasn’t planning to exile myself from the White House I just needed a change of pace for a while you know?”

“Believe it or not I know exactly what you mean,” CJ said. “Hey, if you’re in town--”

“CJ,” Carol said opening the door without knocking. “Toby needs you now, something about a reporter from CNN needing access.

CJ looked up from her desk and looked at Carol. She gestured to the phone as if to tell her that she was on it.

“Oh, sorry,” Carol said as she started backing out of the office.

“Hey Carol,” Danny said. I smiled to myself thinking of Danny’s expression. He, like I, knew that CJ was gearing up to ask him for coffee or lunch or something inconsequential, but the attempt was thwarted and it would likely not happen again.

“Hi Danny, sorry,” Carol said and then she quietly added, “Toby sounded urgent.”

“Yeah,” CJ said to Carol as she shut the door. “Danny, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Take care CJ,” Danny said.

“I will.”

CJ hung up the phone and busied herself with the credentials of the CNN reporter, which I suspect Toby, had fabricated, in order to give CJ something to take her mind off the funeral. Like I said once before, it was the little things that made the days go by in the White House. Simon’s funeral was sad and meaningful, but it also showed me that time doesn’t stop in the White House. It keeps going regardless of who is there and who isn’t. I guess that’s one of the great things about the White House. I suppose that’s why the American government has lasted over 200 years. Progress marches on regardless of whose around to partake in it. But, really, who am I kidding? I was just happy that CJ was feeling a little bit better and that I got to hear from Danny. Shallow yes? But I reside in a shallow bowl so there you have it.

TBC